Hellooooo 2020. Not only are we celebrating this new decade, but Netflix is too. This decade flew by. I mean, don’t you remember good old 2010? I was wearing braces and watching Hannah Montana every night and worrying about what I would be wearing for #BatMitzvahSzn, what were you doing? Though I still watch Hannah Montana on Disney+ today, Netflix has brought in the new decade with some new (and old) amazing shows and movies. Since we’re all going to be deathly hungover and not moving from our beds on New Year’s Day, I thought I’d round up what’s going to be new on Netflix in January. Forget about those resolutions, grab some SkinnyPop and let’s get started.
‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’
Bueller?… Bueller?… Bueller? You’ve probably seen this movie a million times at sleepaway camp and can quote every line, making it great background noise while you scroll through Instagram.
‘A Cinderella Story’
Can we just talk about how Hilary Duff (Sam Montgomery) wore a wedding dress to her High School Halloween party? Like um, what? And also how her entire identity is obscured just by covering the skin around her eyes? Plot holes aside, this movie is a classic and Hilary Duff deserves the world.
J.Lo stars in this feel-good funny movie to watch on a boring day. If you have ever met, dated, or even married a “Mama’s Boy,” you can totally relate to their horrible challenging mothers.
‘New York Minute’
2004 Mary-Kate and Ashley star as two teenage girls who find themselves dealing with many problems while adventuring through Manhattan on a school day. Which sounds like every other Mary-Kate and Ashley movie, just with the city switched out, and that’s because it is. My favorite part is Eugene Levy (Max Lomax), the school’s obsessive truant officer, following their every footstep to try and catch them.
‘Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory’ and ‘Charlie And The Chocolate Factory’
The classic Gene Wilder and new(ish) Johnny Depp films will both be available for you to watch in January while you binge eat chocolate. Not gonna lie, swimming in a pool of chocolate like Augustus Gloop did is still a dream of mine… if I drown, so be it.
‘Big Fat Liar’
Throwback to when Amanda Bynes was doing well and Frankie Muniz was relevant. Ah, the good old days. Big Fat Liar is such a classic. When Jason Shepherd’s (Frankie Muniz) class paper gets stolen by Hollywood producer Marty Wolf (Paul Giamatti) to turn into a movie, he travels to LA with his best friend Kaylee (Amanda Bynes), and tries to break into show business—literally.
Need I say more? Well, I will. Meryl Streep and Amanda Seyfried are on Netflix in one of our favorite movies to sing along with. Enjoy these songs being stuck in your head for days…
Netflix can’t get enough of Meryl Streep, obviously. But seriously, this movie is fantastic and depicts the true story of efforts made by The Washington Post journalists to publish the Pentagon Papers. Learn your history, betches.
I’ve seen Inception. You’ve seen Inception. Every guy who thinks he’s deep has seen Inception and claims it’s his favorite movie. Still, it’s got Leo DiCaprio and Joseph Gordon Levitt, so I don’t know what else you really need. Plus you can get high and debate if it really was ~all a dream~
‘Spinning Out’: Netflix Original Series
This new series is about Kat Baker, a competitive figure skater who dreams about making it to the Olympics. After she takes a disastrous fall, she is taken out of the competition and her dream. But then, a boy appears (as always) and helps Kat continue her career in skating as a duo. Together, they face challenges, injuries, and some emotional breakdowns. Get your tissues prepared.
‘Grace and Frankie’: Season 6
After a long wait, one of our favorite pairs are back on Netflix with a new season. There isn’t too much info on what’s going to happen in this season just yet, but we do know that Grace’s marriage to Nick at the end of last season will def carry some tension in the episodes to come.
‘The Ranch’: Final Season
So, I am in love with Ashton Kutcher and that is the main reason I have watched this show, NGL. The show is about Colt Bennett (Kutcher) who returns home to his family’s ranch in Colorado after a failed semi-pro football career to run the family ranching. business. And no, human trash bag Danny Masterson isn’t in the final episodes, so you don’t have to worry about supporting him.
‘Next in Fashion’
Hosted by Queer Eye’s Tan France and fashion it-girl Alexa Chung, this new fashion design competition is about to be epic. Over 10 episodes, 18 designers compete in rounds based on design trends and styles that influence what people wear worldwide. Can I say make it work??
‘AJ and the Queen’: Season 1
This is the first original comedy series by world-famous drag queen RuPaul. In the series, Ruby Red, a penniless drag queen, travels across America to hit different clubs while developing an unlikely sidekick named AJ—an 11-year old orphan. This new series is expected to have a lot of glitz and glam, so be excited.
‘Chilling Adventures of Sabrina’: Part 3
This series is the much darker and edgier reboot of Sabrina the Teenage Witch from our childhood. It follows the magical story of secret witch Sabrina Spellman (Kiernan Shipka). The new season will be thrilling, as Sabrina recovers from defeating her father Lucifer. Damn, and you thought your dad was evil because he cut you off from his credit card…
‘Good Girls’: Season 2
This crime-comedy series is about three suburban moms who enter a life of crime after robbing a grocery store. It’s a great show that stars Christina Hendricks, Mae Whitman, and Retta (Donna Meagle from Parks and Rec). Think Breaking Bad, but female and funny.
Usually, this would be the point where I would say, “It’s fine that some shows and movies are leaving because others will take their place!” but I can’t say that this month. I’m sad. Super sad. Friends will be leaving Netflix, and I can honestly say that I’m hurt and might not be okay. No one told me life was gonna be this way. Movies leaving Netflix this month are: Grease, Becoming Jane, Something’s Gotta Give, Good Luck Chuck, Zombieland, and Revolutionary Road. At least I can binge away my sorrows with all the new stuff, but it won’t be the same.
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You made it through Thanksgiving, but there’s like, so much more holiday season to endure. That means more family, more spending money, more office parties, and more blizzards. What a joyous season. The only good part about December is that it means 2018 is slowly coming to an end. That’s a good thing at least. So to close out the year, here are some of our top movies and TV shows for you to watch on Netflix this December.
Dec 1: ‘The Big Lebowski’
My ex-boyfriend’s Instagram bio was “I don’t roll on Shabbos” and I thought that was a reference to rolling joints. Turns out it’s from this movie, which is about bowling. Basically, these two guys share the same name, Jeffrey Lebowski. But like, one’s an avid bowler and one’s a millionaire whose wife gets kidnapped. Millionaire Jeff doesn’t want to get his hands dirty, so he hires bowling star Jeff to go pay his wife’s ransom. Obviously, sh*t goes wrong because you trusted a guy who spends his time in rented shoes with your money and wife’s life. This movie is apparently a “cult favorite” and my ex-boyfriend’s, so go watch it.
Dec 1: ‘Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs’
This movie is pure nostalgia. Remember the book we all read and loved in like, elementary school or whatever? This is that, but with a twist. Flint Lockwood sucks at inventing things, but one day makes a food machine that flies up into the atmosphere and actually works. His town is f*cking thrilled (as one would be) but end up getting too greedy and fat making the machine go haywire. IDK about you, but this movie f*cking scared me when it originally came out in 2009. People were legit getting squashed by cheeseburgers and spaghetti tornados coming from the sky. Now thinking about it, that sounds like a pretty good way to go.
Dec 1: ‘8 Mile’
Once you’ve binged Lady Gaga and Demi Lovato’s documentaries, you can move on to this. It’s not really a documentary, but more ~based on a true story~. Eminem plays Jimmy, a guy from Detroit who hates his life working at a car factory and want to be a rapper. Brittany Murphy (RIP) plays Jimmy’s love interest and has sex with him in the car factory cause she finds it hot that he stands up for his gay co-worker, Paul, who was getting insulted via rap battle. If that’s not reason enough to watch this, here’s another: Mom’s spaghetti.
Dec 7: ‘Free Rein: The 12 Neighs of Christmas’
If you’ve already watched The Princess Switch and are still in need of your terribly wonderful cheesy Christmas movie, look no further. This movie is based on the show Free Rein, a British TV series with major horse-girl energy. Zoe drops a Christmas ornament and somehow discovers a ~family secret~. Who TF hides family secrets inside Christmas ornaments? How did you even get it in there anyways? This movie includes a Mistletoe Ball, evil b*tch boss, hot elf man, and some sort of Santa in a shack—I like it already.
Dec 7: ‘Dumplin’
This movie is what would happen if Toddlers & Tiaras suddenly became woke. The movie stars plus-size teen Willowdean Dickson (find a more southern name, I actually dare you), who signs up for her mom’s pageant because she wants to start a “revolution in heels”. This is the feminist, body-loving movie I’ve been waiting for. I feel like this is a role Rachel Green would’ve died for had she taken up an acting career. I’m just praying it doesn’t turn out like Sierra Burgees Is A Loser because that was an abomination. Besides, how could something with Jen Aniston AND Dolly Parton SINGING be bad? The answer is simple, it cannot.
Dec 7: ‘The American Meme’
Be #cultured and spend your time watching a documentary starring the likes of Paris Hilton, The Fat Jewish, Emily Ratajkowski, Hailey Baldwin, and more. Watch how these influencers with literally no talent other than posting photos make a sh*t ton more money than you. After showing at the Tribeca Film Festival earlier this year, Netflix jumped to purchase this work of art. Any movie where Paris Hilton and The Fat Jewish are quoted as experts is one I want to see. This documentary may or may not be educational, but either way, it’s going to be entertaining.
Dec 16: ‘Baby Mama’
This movie is one of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s best works. Kate, played by Tina Fey, is a single businesswoman who put her career before her personal life and forgets to have a baby. The struggle is f*cking real. She can’t get pregnant or adopt, so she hires Angie, played by Amy Poehler, as the surrogate. Angie fakes her pregnancy for a little while thinking she could just steal Kate’s money and peace. But then she ends up actually being pregnant with her own baby.
Dec 14: ‘Fuller House’ Season 4
This show is absolute garbage yet I find myself binge watching it with a half-empty bottle of wine more often than not. Nothing will ever live up to the original Full House, but this show has made it four seasons, so I guess it has to be kind of good? Mary-Kate and/or Ashley have still not returned as Michelle and that’s thoroughly disappointing. But there’s a Christmas episode included in this season, so it’s totally festive. Joey dresses up as Santa so like, that might be charming or scary depending on who you are. And we get to find out the fate of Danny Tanner’s love life after Vicky made a return at the end of season three. Thrilling.
Dec 14: ‘Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina: A Midwinter’s Tale’
Even though it only came out a month ago, you’ve probably already binged the entire season of the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. If you aren’t scared sh*tless of this show by now, get ready for their holiday special. Christmas time means that the Church of Night (a totally not suspicious name) celebrates the Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year. They all sit around a fire and tell ghost stories. Sounds cute and harmless until you remember that they all literally worship the devil. This is def not your traditional Hallmark holiday special, but if you’re a spooky b*tch, you’ll enjoy it.
Dec 14: ‘The Fix’
Does reading about the state of our crumbling world make you want to hide in a cave for the rest of existence? Yes? Then this is the show for you. Netflix’s latest panel show hosts top comedians and poses them with questions about how to solve some of the world’s greatest conundrums. Will they solve anything? Probably not. Will they be a hell of a lot closer than our current government is to solving anything? Definitely.
Dec 21: ‘Back With The Ex’
The title of this show is also known as the worst possible text message you could ever send to or receive from your best friend. This Australian reality show takes four singles and reconnects them with their exes. I think I would rather tweeze every hair on my body than partake in this, but I’m totally down to watch other people try. The only thing that would make this show better is if there was a Bachelor(ette) spin-off where they put former couples back in the mansion together. I want a full Jake and Vienna breakup meltdown all over again.
Dec 25: ‘Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown’ Season 11
The second last season of Anthony Bourdain’s show is coming to Netflix to on Christmas, how pleasant. *Wipes tears*. As a world-famous chef and travel documentarian, Bourdain explores unusual foods and fascinating places around the world. This season takes us through West Virginia, Uruguay, Newfoundland, Armenia, Hong Kong, Berlin, Louisiana, and Bhutan.
Dec 26: ‘YOU’
Just in case you needed to hate Dan Humphrey a little more, here it is. Penn Badgley plays Joe Goldberg, a bookstore owner (classic Dan) who develops a crush on an aspiring writer, Beck. Aw, cute. Until it’s not. Turns out, Beck has sh*t privacy settings and Joe knows a thing or two about stalking people (perhaps from his days as Gossip Girl?). In true Dan Humphrey fashion, what starts out as an innocent crush on Serena Beck eventually turns like, criminal. Explore the blurred lines between love-struck or dangerously obsessed with this feel-good show that reminds us all that men are trash.
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Well, we basically made it to November. It’s a lovely month for curling up with your cuffed bae and never leaving your couch. Or, if you’re like me, curling up with yourself and hiding out from your family during Thanksgiving dinner. So what better to do with your time cuddled up from the family cold than watch everything on the internet. Here are the best TV shows and movies coming to Netflix this November.
Nov 1: ‘Sex and the City: The Movie’
Carrie Bradshaw is one of the most iconic figures in the history of delusional dating, so this movie is an absolute must-watch (if you haven’t already memorized the entire script). Our gal Carrie is getting married to Mr. Big, but he’s a f*ckboy and goes AWOL on their wedding day *pretends to be shocked*. In an attempt to get Carrie out of her depression, the girls all take Carrie’s would-have-been honeymoon to Mexico. Charlotte sh*ts her pants, Miranda has make-up sex, and Samantha is drunk so this movie is basically art.
Nov 1: ‘Good Will Hunting’
Matt Damon is vulnerable, smart, and sexy (that’s more than I can say about any men in my life) in Good Will Hunting. Originally released in 1997, Damon’s character, Will Hunting, is a bad boy-turned-math-prodigy in need of big-time therapy in order to keep him out of jail. After bulldozing through a bunch of bad therapists, he meets Dr. Sean Maguire, played by Robin Williams (tears). The two obvs bond and hit it off. I won’t spoil anything, but this movie changed my best friend’s life, so if that’s not a recommendation worth taking, IDK what is. Bring a box of tissues and get ready to ugly cry.
Nov 1: ‘Sixteen Candles’
There’s no coming-of-age story better than this. If this wasn’t the movie that turned you into a woman, you’re probably too young to be reading this site. Anyway, the plot goes as follows. It’s Sam Baker’s 16th birthday and legit everyone forgot. Her sister is getting married the next day, so like, that’s important, but c’mon she’s 16! Things are no better at school, and a sex quiz gets mixed up into the hands of Sam’s crush à la To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. The movie ends with the most iconic scene in cinematic history—Sam’s first kiss over her 16th birthday cake. But who is it with? Watch and find out.
Nov 1: ‘Bring It On: In It To Win It’
The third installment in the Bring It On collection is one of the many nostalgic movies coming to Netflix this November. Still not as good as the first, this movie follows Brooke and Carson, rival cheer captains, as they battle it out at Cheer Camp. Also, the Spirit Stick is BACK, BETCHES. Carson’s a dumbass and gets lured by a hot male cheerleader, Penn, to ride a rollercoaster and make out, inevitably leaving the Spirit Stick unattended. It gets stolen and the two squads blame each other and get into a Westside Story style cheer fight. They get busted by the cops and have to combine squads, naming themselves The East-West Side Shets, which is the biggest crime of this whole movie.
Nov 16: ‘The Princess Switch’
Think Monte Carlo meets Princess Protection Program meets High School Musical—but like, if all of those were somehow a Christmas movie too. Vanessa Hudgens stars as her own twin, in a very Lindsay Lohan move. One Vanessa is a princess who’s sick of her crown, and the other is a baker from Chicago. The two are pissed with their current lives so with the help of ~Santa~ they switch places. This movie basically sounds like a holiday-themed version of all of Netflix’s rom-coms (sans Noah Centineo). So that obviously means I’m going to watch it the second it comes out.
Nov 2: ‘House of Cards’ Season 6
This should be interesting. House of Cards is back for its sixth and final season. The series almost collapsed because Kevin Spacey is basically the worst human ever, but luckily, Robin Wright is here to save the day (and the show) by taking on her role as the first female President of The United States. She’s low-key super into murder, though (relatable), and is absolutely ruthless, so it should be interesting to see how she decides to dispose of her husband, because you know she will. Also, can someone tell me WTF Doug is going to do?
Nov 4: ‘Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj’
Hasan Minhaj is the first ever Indian-American host of a weekly comedy show, and he’s awesome. His politically slanted show covers both evergreen and topical news, ranging from historical events in American politics to current issues, like Jamal Khashoggi’s murder. Minhaj also makes sure to bring stories that you won’t usually get to hear to light, such as the ongoing crisis in Yemen or the current ruling Saudi family. His dark humor and quick wit are sure to keep you entertained and informed (and it doesn’t hurt that he looks like a Ken doll). The show airs every Sunday, so it’s the perfect cure for your Sunday scaries.
Nov 9: ‘Super Drags’
This is the show you’ve all been waiting for: drag superheroes. Three gay co-workers are department store employees by day, and crime-fighting Queens by night. Of course, the cast is stacked with the voices of ah-mazing Queens Trixie Mattel, Ginger Minj, Shangela, and William Belli. This show, originally from Brazil, is supposed to have a comic-book feel to it with a raunchy edge. It may be animated, but it’s certainly not for your Saturday morning cartoon (is that still a thing or do kids just, like, Snapchat now?). How could you not want to watch a show where they say stuff like “twerk away the shade”?
Nov 9: ‘Westside’
Just when you thought reality TV couldn’t get any better, here comes your next obsession. Westside follows the lives of nine musicians trying to make it in Hollywood. What’s unique about the show is that it’s not poorly lit and filmed with an iPhone. Netflix legit put effort into making this show both entertaining and aesthetically pleasing to watch. But don’t worry, you’ll still get your offside commentary and classic sh*t talking. It also features fully produced music videos (done by the cast) and original songs. I’m feeling like this is going to be a beautiful cross between Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Glee. Stay tuned.
Nov 16: ‘Narcos: Mexico’
Obviously, you’re addicted to true crime (and have probably binged our entire new podcast series) so Narcos’s latest installment will have you questioning everything you thought you knew about drugs *takes bong hit*. This companion series takes you inside the history of the illegal drug trade in Mexico (so it’s like, educational). It follows the Guadalajara Cartel during the 1980s and its leaders. Thrown into the mix is Kiki Camarena, a DEA agent who makes his family move from California to Guadalajara. And you were mad about your dad moving the family from New York to Ohio. Kiki gets way too caught up in the Cartel’s sh*t, so bad things happen (shocker). It’s based on a true story, so don’t Google and spoil it.
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