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Am I hot because I have stomach issues? Or, do I have stomach issues because I’m hot? It’s truly a question that nags at me constantly. Because regardless of what I’m doing or where I’m going, I’m bound to have a stomach ache. Running for coffee? Gotta make sure there’s a bathroom within 15 feet. Going to a concert? You better believe there’s Pepto in my bag.
Stomach pain as a woman is also one of the world’s biggest mysteries. Am I cramping because I’m constipated, getting my period, or because I added extra cheese to my Chipotle order yesterday? The world will never know. TG for social media though, because up until a few months ago, I thought I was suffering alone which couldn’t be further from the truth. And because social media is where I go to for any ailment, here are some things the hot tummy ache girls said would help.
Spill The Tea
This shit might as well be a magic potion, because whenever I have a stomach ache (especially after eating) this tea really helps. I also get really bad anxiety when a tummy ache arises and the act of drinking tea helps me stay in the moment.
Shop it: Yogi Stomach Ease Tea, $17, Amazon
Bring The Heat
Move over Lululemon belt bag, there’s a new wearable accessory in town and it’s helping girls everywhere with unavoidable cramps. This cordless heating pad is way more convenient than a traditional one—now you can actually leave couch if you need to (emphasis on the word need). Who said stomach aches couldn’t be fun and fashion-forward?
Shop it: Portable Cordless Heating Pad, $49.99, Amazon
Spice Up Your Life
Don’t sleep on these ginger chews. I once had to drive up a mountain at 3 am and the only thing that kept me from puking from car sickness was sucking on a ginger chew. Yes, the taste of ginger can be polarizing, but honestly, anything is better than puking out a car window.
Shop it: Prince of Peace Original Ginger Chews, $11, Amazon
Bubbles Make Everything Better
IDK what it is about bubbles that settle my stomach but they always do. I used to love drinking a Coke whenever I was feeling shitty, but these Poppi sodas are so much better and *actually* have ingredients that can help.
Shop it: POPPI Sparkling Prebiotic Soda, $30, Amazon
If You Have To Go, At Least Make It ~Chic~
If you haven’t heard of one of these, you’re welcome. Use this aesthetic ottoman to help move things along (if you catch my drift).
Shop it: Tushy Ottoman, $74.95, Amazon
Your Shit Won’t Stink
I keep one of these in every bag because you can literally never be too prepared. As if using the bathroom in public wasn’t embarrassing enough, at least you can cover up the smell. The scent actually masks odors and always come in handy when you’re in a pinch or traveling. The OG citrus is a personal fave.
Shop it: Poo-Pourri Before-You-Go Toilet Spray, $25, Amazon
Popping Antacids Like Candy
I’ve never been able to stomach the original chalky tums, but when these came out they literally saved my life. I have to be careful or I’ll start eating these like candy because not only do they taste good but the instant relief is addicting.
Shop it: Tums Chewy Bites, $9.99, Amazon
Just Thrive Probiotic
If you’re a constipated girlie, or honestly just a woman, you should have a quality probiotic in your rotation. I’ve personally used Just Thrive for the last 3 months and the difference in my digestion is legit night and day.
Shop it: Just Thrive Probiotic, $125, Just Thrive
Because You Don’t Already Have Enough Beverages
Like every other woman on the planet, you probably have at least 4 beverages in front of you already. Why not add another? I swear bone broth has healed my gut. Plus it’s like drinking a mug of chicken noodle soup and TBH, what’s more comforting than that?
Shop it: Bare Bones Bone Broth Instant Powdered Mix, $29.99, Amazon
Relief For the Bloat Queens
Nothing worse than showing up to a bloat-inducing dinner in your “standing room only” jeans. I’ve never *added to cart* faster than when I learned about Arrae because I’m never going to give up cheese and pasta, but I would be a hell of a lot happier if I didn’t have to unbutton my pants before dessert.
Shop it: Arrae Bloat Digestive Enzymes Supplement, $50, Amazon
Feature Image Credit: Polina Zimmerman on Pexels
We may as well accept that hangovers are just a part of life. This is why you never make plans on Sunday. Because no matter how hard you try, you will have to cancel them in favor of staying in your bed and guzzling Advil all day. Unfortunately, the older you get, the less down your body is to recover after a night of whiskey shots on an empty stomach. And even when you remember to actually drink water while you’re out (accidentally drinking a sip because you thought it was vodka doesn’t count) you still find yourself feeling like you got hit by a truck the next morning. Or maybe you actually were hit by a truck? Saturday night is always kind of a blur TBH.
In an attempt to further get our shit together, we believe that a handy-dandy guide on what to eat when you’re praying to the porcelain gods is both useful and necessary.
Here are the top five things your body is craving when you’re hungover and what to actually eat instead, because even though you feel like you’ll throw up any food you consume, the calories still count.
You’re Craving: Nachos
Eat: Beans and Avocado
Ok so while the whole green mushy thing may not SEEM totally appetizing when you’re dealing with a case of the spins, it actually is. Your body wants nachos and other greasy, cheesy shit because you’re dehydrated and low on protein and potassium. A cup of cooked black beans will give you a boost of magnesium (which will help cramps and general hangover discomfort) AND some B vitamins to help that whole “feeling like shit” thing. The avocado will boost your potassium levels, fixing your dizzy feeling, and will stabilize your sodium levels. So, grab a bean bowl slathered in some guacamole and you’ll be on the road to recovery. Just skip the cheese and chips.
You’re Craving: A pint of greasy Chinese food
Eat: Miso soup
We all, for some fucking reason, crave copious amounts of Asian cuisine when we’re experiencing regrets and borderline alcohol poisoning from the night before. But reaching for that bowl of rice and sesame chicken can actually make your hangover worse, thanks to a shit ton of salt and too much grease in your delicate tummy. Instead, grab some miso soup which will help rehydrate you (thanks, broth) and restock your depleted sodium levels. If you don’t have miso soup handy, you can get it from literally any self-respecting sushi place. Just order like 10 of them to meet the delivery minimum and be sure to say “Arigato!” to your delivery guy.
You’re Craving: A burger with bacon and cheese
Eat: An egg and smoked salmon sandwich
Like we said before, a ton of grease can make your hangover worse, and if you’re craving a burger, your body is pleading for protein. Replace that beefy burger with smoked salmon, which is rich in the good fatty acids and a great source of B12—all of which will make you feel better. The eggs have lots of calcium, Vitamin D, and even more B12. So, opt for the protein powerhouse that is an egg and salmon benedict over a greasy burger.
You’re Craving: A Bloody Mary
Eat/Drink: Tomato Juice
So for some reason we all still ascribe to the whole hair of the dog thing. It’s antiquated and super wrong, and sadly, can lead to even worse hangover symptoms. If you want the taste without the terrible side effects, make yourself a virgin Bloody Mary with tomato juice, celery, and a pickle or two thrown in. Tomato juice boosts your liver functions, which you definitely need after last night. The pickles will help even out your sodium levels, and the celery will help with hydration.
You’re Craving: Fries
Eat: Sweet potato fries
Ok so this is a win-win. You CAN have fries after your all-night drinking sesh, but make sure they’re spun from sweet potatoes. Sweet potatoes are a great source of fiber, potassium, and B vitamins, all of which will aid in the recovery process. Because starches are harder for your body to quickly break down, you won’t experience a spike in blood sugar leaving you to crash later. We can’t guarantee you won’t crash later because you went to bed at 5am, but at least it won’t be from the carbs, right?