The Top 5 Overdone Bachelorette Party Destinations

It is my personal opinion that there are enough bars in Manhattan that no one should ever have wait in line to get in. The same can be said about bachelorette weekend destinations. There are more than enough fun cities in the world to take cute Instagrams in matching high-waisted bathing suits, but that doesn’t stop way too many of our fave brides-to-be from throwing their cowboy boots in a duffle and heading to Nashville for their bachelorette weekend. For those of you who would like to experience what being original feels like, but still want to have a truly fab weekend with your best friends, please, for f*ck’s sake, avoid the following cities and give the world some fresh inspiration!

1. Nashville

View this post on Instagram

Only two more days until the coolest firework show! Who’s excited? Thanks for the photo @stuartdeming

A post shared by Nashville Tennessee (@nashvilletn) on

Obv had to start with the most traveled-to destination. I don’t have the precise figures on how many groups of young women travel to Honky Tonk Town for their bachelorette party, but if my Instagram is an accurate indicator of the truth, then every basic bitch in America is booking her bachelorette trip to Nashville. Don’t get me wrong, Nashville is a seriously great city, and I was this close to spending four years there for college, but I chose a different yet similarly Southern school instead. Oops? Look, if you truly love this city and are dying to take your crew here, you do you, but you will have to accept that you will be sharing Broadway with about a million other bachelorette parties. Who knows, maybe you’ll make a few new friends? However, you’re more likely to be really annoyed that it won’t really feel like your weekend. Also, give the Nashvillians a f*cking break from your drunken bullsh*t! One of my best friends lives there and said that going out is simply not an option anymore because every restaurant and bar has been taken over by bridal parties dying to run into Tim McGraw. Just let Jesus take the wheel and go to a different city below the Mason-Dixon if you want a Southern experience. Atlanta is prettier, cooler, and has a whole lot more to do (and we will have a bachelorette guide on it v soon)!

2. Las Vegas

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Get caught in the clouds.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Photo Cred: @donnalorraine15

A post shared by The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas (@cosmopolitan_lv) on

Guys, stop going to Vegas. Just stop! You are better than the city in f*cking Nevada that’s still trying to make magic shows a thing. In my opinion, Las Vegas is like a really extravagant cage. Seriously, think about it! Your entire weekend takes place in your hotel during the day and on one street (the Strip) at night. If you venture like, one mile out of these confines, you’re in what looks like the set of Mad Max: Fury Road. People who love Vegas are f*cking extra, which I truly appreciate and respect, but you don’t need to waste your efforts on the place where Ross and Rachel got married. Look, I get it. You want Vegas because you want to wear makeup and heels at the pool without being #judged. You want to get a ton of money by having to do nothing more than deciding between red and black. You want to see if Magic Mike is a myth. We stan betches like you because you have no shame in your game! Vegas is not on your level, though. Instead, save your money and go to St. Tropez or Mexico City, two places that appreciate your level of extra.

3. Miami

View this post on Instagram

Española Way Miami Beach ?? The historic Spanish village between 14th and 16th street in Miami Beach. Just three blocks away from the famous Lincoln Road. ? @xpresstrips #miamibeach #miami #traveltuesday

A post shared by Miami Guide (@themiamiguide) on

Miami is like if Vegas was in Florida. Tbh, I love Miami, but not for a bachelorette party, because it’s where the rich kids in college went for spring break and then just went back for their bachelorette weekend, which is just tacky. Give yourself and your girls a place they can get excited about without having to worry about running into their grandparents on the beach. Yes, there’s always South Beach, but you will be one of many a bachelorette group taking group photos on the sand. You can do better, ladies. Again, Miami is so overdone because it’s a cool city, but there are so many other cool cities where you can do almost everything you’d do in Miami. For instance, ever been to St. Augustine? It’s gorgeous, full of charming bars, and obv has plenty of beaches so you can come home with a fresh af tan. What’s not to love?

4. New Orleans

 

View this post on Instagram

 

#OneTimeinNOLA a French Quarter balcony view added a bit of brightness on a chilly Sunday. ? – Photo: @brandon_m_ore

A post shared by Visit New Orleans (@visitneworleans) on

Did we just write a Betches’ Bachelorette Guide to New Orleans? Yes. Is New Orleans overdone for bachelorette weekends? Yes! Look, the people wanted a NOLA guide, so we gave them a NOLA guide. See, we listen to you! However, as amazing as the Big Easy is, it’s time to go somewhere else. I just want to reiterate for the fourth time that all of these cities are great, but they’re almost so great that too many people are visiting them and making them sh*tty. For instance, apparently there was once a time when Rome was like a cute, charming quiet city in Italy that wasn’t dripping in tourists taking photos on iPads. Don’t let New Orleans become the next Rome, y’all. New Orleans is such a hot spot because of Bourbon Street and the Garden District (and, let’s be real, Cafe Du Monde), but think of all of the cities with amaze streets that you’d use for the same purposes as Bourbon Street. If all you want to do is bar hop on an aesthetically pleasing, historical street, go to M Street in Georgetown! It’s like the Northern New Orleans, but with preppier boys to flirt with and ruder bar tenders because Southern hospitality truly only exists in the South.

5. Charleston

View this post on Instagram

Pink and green shades of summer! Tag a friend you’d choose to be next door neighbors with here!?? #gmgcollection #gmgonme

A post shared by Gal Meets Glam Collection (@galmeetsglam) on

Remember when everyone on the f*cking planet realized Iceland exists, so at the exact same time, everyone booked a trip to Iceland? Charleston is the Iceland of the U.S. because it suffered the same influx of people, but in the form of bachelorette parties. I totally understand why: it’s like if Julia Engel was a city. Sadly, Charleston is too popular for its own good and we need to give it a rest so that it can become cool again. This tiny southern gem and its population of freelancers were not prepared for the swarm of  matching T-shirts and people asking “Hi, sorry, excuse me? Can you take our pic 80 different ways?” Charleston is so f*cking charming it hurts, but for this very reason, it’s losing sight of who it is! There are other cities out there that have a pale pink house next to a mint green house with a palm tree in between! We just need to find them! Savannah is better in my opinion. You know why I think that? Because it’s the only city in the South that the Union’s army spared because it was too damn beautiful. You know what city got pummeled? Charleston!

Images: nashvilletn, cosmopolitan_lv, themiamiguide, visitneworleans, galmeetsglam / Instagram

The NFL Draft Is Ruining Bachelorette Parties In Nashville This Weekend

I don’t know when Nashville became the unofficial bachelorette party capital of the United States, but it seems like every single person on this Earth who is getting married is having their bachelorette there. Don’t get me wrong, $2 PBRs and Hattie B’s hot chicken are great and all, but who was the bridezilla who decided that every single bride in America was going to have their bachelorette party in the same city? And why did we all just follow blindly while simultaneously acting like it is an original idea? (And don’t even get me started on the concept of destination bachelorette parties. I’m convinced these were just invented for Instagram. Oh, wait, you got me started.) But the internet is collectively laughing today, when it occurred to ladies everywhere—to the dismay of their maids of honor—that this weekend the NFL draft is also taking place in Nashville. And boom goes the penis-shaped dynamite.

Nashville overrun by brides-to-be and hundreds of thousands of football fans with beer guts? It’s a sight I’d literally pay to see—like, if I thought I could catch a flight down to Nashville in time to witness all the temper tantrums, I would. And as you can guess, the internet is having a field day, mostly due to two blonde women Twitter has dubbed “bachelorette Becky”, who were interviewed by a local news station. Here is a picture of them, which I think says it all.

Yes, these are quite literally the poster children of Nashville bachelorette parties. I shudder to think what these women would do if their favorite brunch place ran out of avocado toast, or if Starbucks messed up their iced latte order.

“I don’t want to hang out with a bunch of football guys,” the bride fumed in an interview conducted by the station. “I already have to watch football on Sundays, I don’t need to see any more of that.” She added, “I found out three days ago and it made me want to cry.”

So I guess there are zero football fans in Nashville otherwise? Like, who did you expect to hang out with in Nashville, just your bridesmaids and zero other locals or tourists? Lol. Nice try, Jessica.

In all seriousness, I get that hundreds of thousands of extra people and having roads being closed off and sh*t is an inconvenience for your bachelorette party. But how are you gonna be mad at the NFL for your own failure to plan? Imagine having the audacity to think the NFL should cater to your schedule. THE NFL.

Of course, these women aren’t the only ones having their bachelorette party in Nashville this weekend. A few brides took to Twitter to express their shock and lack of enthusiasm.

Terrible weekend to have a bachelorette party in Nashville

— Erica Woytek (Allenspach) (@WoytekErica) April 26, 2019

Me, literally attending a bachelorette party in Nashville this weekend. ? pic.twitter.com/voUZj85HUB

— Katie Brennan (@KatieBrrr) April 26, 2019

As someone who lived in Atlanta during the March Madness Final Four, I can imagine what these people are going through, and don’t envy them having to fight through crowds of people to get literally anywhere and pay Uber surge pricing out the ass. It sucks, but also, the NFL released their plans for the draft on January 30th, so it’s not like this was a surprise. Would it suck if you planned your bachelorette party in Nashville six months out and then later found out about the draft after everything was already paid for? Yes. But like, to be pissed off that football fans are ruining your weekend is hilarious, considering I’m sure the actual population of Nashville has been tired of screeching bridal parties ruining their weekends for years.

To be fair, there are plenty of people on Twitter who are attending bachelorette parties in Nashville this weekend and taking the extra crowds in stride. And, really, if you wanted a great story for your bachelorette party, you couldn’t have picked a better one.

Accidentally booked the bachelorette party in Nashville the same weekend the NFL draft is in Nashville. HERE WE GO?????

— Tacie Shannon (@tacieshannon) April 22, 2019

I’m going to be in Nashville this weekend for a bachelorette party. And the NFL Draft will also be happening at the same time. Taking tips on how to survive this, please.

— Sophia Alvarez Boyd (@sososophia16) April 25, 2019

So the situation is less than ideal, but what can you do? Well, if you’re Bachelorette Becky, you can take it out on your future husband, even though he had nothing to do with this. She says, “The person who’s gonna pay for this is my husband when I refuse to watch football the entire season. I’m talking no Super Bowl. Nope. Because you get married once. How often does the draft happen? Every frickin’ year. Every year.”

Welp, I’m sure this interview won’t at all come back to bite these ladies in the ass! But congrats and best of luck on your wedding day, when nothing at all will go wrong at the last minute!

All The Classy Date Night Spots You Can Find On Skorch

I’m not going to sugarcoat it, finding a bar in a big city is hard. It’s especially hard if you’re looking for a date spot, and you want to fool convince your date that you are a classy individual who does not choose establishments solely based on happy hour prices. Life is hard, but there is good news! If you’re based in Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, San Francisco, San Diego, Austin, Miami, Nashville, Dallas, Washington DC, Phoenix-Scottsdale, Houston, Seattle, Orange County, or Toronto, there’s an app to help you out. Skorch is a new app that can help you pick bars, restaurants, lounges, and other hotspots in your city. 

And the best part? Every locale is specifically curated to what you’re looking for. You can refine your results based on “hotness” and distance (which is, incidentally, how I choose my dating app matches), plus you can filter by category: bar, club, lounge, cafe, restaurant, event, attraction, and outdoor.

Basically, Skorch takes all the effort, difficulty, and indecision out of picking a place to eat and drink. So I decided to put Skorch to the test and see what classy date spots I could find in NYC using the app. Let me tell you, I was not disappointed.

Gallow Green

When Gallow Green came up on Skorch I knew I had to include it, because it’s so classy I could only afford to go there when my cousin was the bartender. Excuse me, the mixologist. Thanks for the free drinks, Kev!

Gallow Green is a rooftop bar at the McKittrick Hotel in Chelsea, and it makes you feel like you are in a secret tranquil garden atop this dirty trash city. You can order drinks or dinner, or drinks AND dinner. Plus, you can say things like, “I’ll have the Scottish Law. Do you only have Glenlivet 18-year, or can you substitute with Glenlivet 21-year?” and then throw a suggestive wink at my guy. Locked. It. Up.

View this post on Instagram

a few sleeps more 'til the season is but a memory… doors open 5pm this week #GallowGreen #happyhournyc #mckittrickhotel #sleepnomorenyc

A post shared by Gallow Green (@gallowgreen) on

Jack’s Wife Freda

Jack’s Wife Freda is located in my absolute favorite part of New York City, the West Village. You can’t get much classier than a neighborhood where I saw Liv Tyler every morning on the way to work, am I right?

Not only is Jack’s Wife Freda in a great spot, but it also has a menu that’s the bomb, relatively reasonable prices, and is in a small space, so you’ll be able to get pretty close to your date. So ideal! And when you’re finished, you can stroll down the quaint streets together, pointing out all the beautiful brownstones and pick out the one you’ll buy together once you’ve scraped together $12 million.

View this post on Instagram

☃️ ?: @tylerlain

A post shared by Jack’s wife Freda (@jackswifefreda) on

Oh HELLO, do my eyes deceive me or is this a still from a rom-com?

The Standard Biergarten

Just admit it, we all love to day drink. The sun is shining, the possibilities are endless, and you can get to bed at 9pm. I know you’re thinking that day drinking might not be all that elegant, but you’re wrong. Sure, maybe it’s not classy when you’re in the backyard of the Sigma Chi house doing keg stands, but at a luxury boutique hotel where you might find Solange assaulting Jay-Z in an elevator? Abso-f*cking-lutely.

At the Standard Biergarten you can get, you guessed it, beer, as well as the other traditional German fare. And if you like a little competitive element to your dates, you can pass the time at the ping-pong table, since every dude likes a girl that can hit a winner.

View this post on Instagram

Dreaming of summer ping pong on this snowy NYC day! ?❄️

A post shared by The Standard Biergarten (@standardbiergarten) on

Magic Hour Rooftop Bar & Lounge

Sure, Magic Hour Rooftop Bar & Lounge is in Times Square, but some of us work in Midtown! And everyone likes a quick commute to their cocktail. Magic Hour is owned by the Tao Group, who also own Tao and Lavo, two of my favorite high-class places. The $19 dumplings are to go broke for die for.  

Magic Hour has expensive cocktails and a great view, but it also has cheeky elements that make it a perfect date spot. It’s got a mini golf course that is called Foreplay and features sexy animals in suggestive poses. Yes, I did just say “sexy animals.” And sure, a mini-golf course called Foreplay might not be coy, but sometimes you just have to be forward about what you want. Am I right, ladies?

View this post on Instagram

HOLE IN ONE ?⛳️ || ? @serichai

A post shared by Magic Hour (@magichourny) on

And those are just a few of the many ideas that Skorch gave me for my classy date night! It’s available in a bunch of cities, so if you’re trying to snag husband material in say, Austin, you should definitely check it out. And you can use Skorch for way more than bars, like planning your next group dinner, finding a cute cafe to work at, or deciding where to go for your best night out.

Imags: Shutterstock; magichourny, standardbiergarten, jackswifefreda, gallowgreen / Instagram

You’re Most Likely To Run Into People From ‘The Bachelor’ If You Live In This City

While the losers from the past four seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette were busy spreading HPV on a beach in Mexico Monday night, most of them are probably back at home in Nashville watching the show air. Bachelor in Paradise is like, a weird reminder that the former cast members of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette are super incestuous even when they’re not on the show. You just have to follow any one of them on Instagram to realize that these people mostly just hang out with each other. How is this possible? We all saw them go on hometown dates on their respective seasons in super different places. Did they like, just not have friends before they went on the show?

Well, the answer to the second question remains a mystery, but as far as the hometown one goes, it’s probs because none of them live in their actual hometowns anymore. In fact, I’m pretty sure everyone from The Bachelor lives in Nashville. And I’m not just saying that—I did extensive Googling research and concluded that Nashville is like, the Bachelor reject capital of America. You read that correctly—not LA, the thirst trap capital of America, but Nashville, home to Taylor Swift and like, that one episode from Master of None. Huh?

Sure, Nashville is known as the home of country music and is basically like any big American city that isn’t on a coast, so alright, but not the best. But it’s also home to Kaitlyn and Shawn B, Evan and Carly, radio DJ/BiP bartender Wells Adams, almost-Bachelor Luke Pell, country music video girl Danielle M., racist Lee, big-mouthed Olivia and… I think that’s it, and if there are more people I’m sure our super kind and gracious readers will alert us to the fact that I left out important players via our comments section.

 

I’m not off the market yet, but my new house is! Now I hope you’ll join me on my journey of gutting & renovating it, oh and maybe finding me a nice Southern man! Also, I don’t know anyone, so any gals want to be frans? DM me! #sold #firsttimebuyer #nashville

A post shared by Olivia Caridi (@oliviacaridi) on

Sure, there’s an entertainment industry in Nashville and it’s constantly on those “hottest cities for millennials” lists written by 40-year-olds. But you would think that you could get better gigs and Instagram ad sales if you were in New York or LA over like, the poor man’s New York or LA. But then again, maybe they just don’t make enough money peddling sugar-laden Biotin gummies to afford New York rent? Who would have thought.

It could also have something to do with the fact that many a former cast member is trying to use the show to catapult into country music stardom. For instance, ever since he lost his spot at being The Bachelor to a Dancing With The Stars reject, Luke Pell is legit touring with his “music”. I refuse to listen to it because I don’t care that much, but I assume it’s not totally terrible because people show up to his shows. At least, they do if this picture is to be believed. 

 

Favorite holiday? July 4th #murica #longweekend #selfiesaturday

A post shared by LUKE PELL (@luke__pell) on

Likewise, Kaitlyn Bristowe revealed on an episode of her podcast that she’s been taking singing lessons to sing country music. Like, really Kaitlyn? Being the funniest person on Snapchat and America’s Sweetheart in general isn’t enough for you? Also, WHY COUNTRY? Why can’t anybody just pick a different genre? There’s plenty of them out there. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!

Maybe Nashville is like, the new LA or something? Errrrr just a smaller, more country version of LA where you don’t choke to death on smog and self-tanner fumes. IDK. 

Read: How Much The Girls From ‘The Bachelor’ Make Off Instagram Will Make You Quit Your Job