Cisgender Women: Removing ‘Feminine’ From Period Talk Does Not Diminish Your Experience

When you walk into your local drugstore and enter the aisle for period products, the words “feminine care” can be found everywhere — on the aisle signs, product labels, and packaging. This is incorrect and harmful because women aren’t the only ones who menstruate; nonbinary and transgender individuals can experience periods too. Yet over the last few years, as I’ve tried to use more terms like “menstruators” in my work — through my advocacy in the six years I spent leading PERIOD the nonprofit, in my book, PERIOD POWER, and now with the work we do at August — I often face backlash from cis women who are offended by the term, thinking it minimizes their worth to just being able to reproduce.

In 2017, activist and author Cass (@theperiodprince) posted a free-bleeding photo with a period stain on their pants, holding a sign that says “Periods are not just for women #bleedingwhiletrans.” In a Teen Vogue article, Cass shares, “I want cisgender people to understand that being trans while having your period can be absolutely terrifying. Aside from experiencing gender dysphoria and anxiety around the way my body changes during my cycle, I have to worry about which bathroom to use, whether or not me carrying a tampon or leaking could out me in an unsafe place, or being constantly misgendered because I couldn’t wear my tight binder that week.”

Kenny Ethan Jones is another trans activist who menstruates and was the first trans man to be the face of a period campaign. “Having a period already causes me a lot of dysphoria, but this dysphoria becomes heightened when I have to shop for a product that is labeled as ‘women’s health’ and in most cases, is pretty and pink,” Jones explained in an NBC article

Schuyler Bailar (@pinkmantaray on Instagram), a DEI Educator and Consultant, Author, Speaker, and an Advisor to August, shared with me that, “‘feminine’ should not be used to refer to menstrual care not only because it is inaccurate but also because it reinforces harmful and limiting stereotypes about menstruation.”

He adds, “menstrual care should not only be associated with women — menstrual care is just care. Additionally, not all women are feminine and not all those who are feminine are women, and thus referring to anything that has to do with menstruation as feminine (e.g. feminine products) incorrectly genders menstruation.”

Unfortunately, there is still a lot of learning that needs to happen for this understanding to become more mainstream. In the comment section of my TikToks talking about this, cis women have remarked that it would detract from their “sense of femininity” if the labels on period products were changed.

These responses are a reoccurring theme that I’ve heard from cis women for years, being upset and saying “I’m more than just my period, don’t minimize or simplify me.” Some cis women even find it dehumanizing, as written in numerous twitter threads saying things like, “it is dehumanising and epoliticising. As a menstruator, cervix-haver etc.” By calling for more inclusive wording instead of “feminine care,” some cis women think that the term is objectifying them and devaluing their other qualities and personality. I’ve heard from people that they feel it is like being called a “terminator,” like their period is a weapon — but that’s not the intention at all.

And of course, transphobia has existed at bigger, more mainstream levels — a prime example being JK Rowling. And this is just one example out of all the insensitive and hurtful comments that trans and non-binary folks face daily. 

I don’t blame people that I meet who don’t know that not all menstruators are women, because I was also taught and grew up with this mentality. Since we were young, society has always told us that we magically “become a woman” when we start our periods. In fact, throughout history, there’s a repeated pattern amongst most societies that equates menstruation with women, gendered roles, fertilization, and giving birth. 

“Due to the patriarchy, I think that the period industry has largely been used to exploit women, as most women-centric products unfortunately have,” Schuyler says. “It seems that the industry is slowly shifting to be made for women BY women – and there is great power in this; however, this can often exclude those who menstruate who are not women.”

Thankfully, that mentality is something we as a society are slowly realizing and progressing through. I believe that it’s vital that once someone is aware of this, they should seek the tools to be more inclusive in their language. Inclusivity is creating space for everyone and their diverse experiences —  it isn’t minimizing any community.

From one cis woman menstruating to another: creating space for inclusivity does not take away from the period experience! In fact, I think by contextualizing this more to our sex than to be a “woman,” it’s empowering. We are connecting it more to our actual bodies, and what is happening in our bodies, than to the gender binary and gender norms that society has imposed on us.

We have so much more work to do to make the period talk more inclusive. It’s on us as cis menstruators to seek out and actively learn from educators who have given time, effort, and space to talk about their experiences.

Schuyler says, “periods must be degendered because, put as simply as possible, they are not gendered. Biology does not have a gender…Degendering periods is not only scientifically accurate but also freeing of harmful exclusionary stereotypes that hurt trans and nonbinary people who menstruate.”

In a world in which menstruation is already so stigmatized, we must collectively do our own research to educate ourselves about inclusivity in the periods space. We must do our research, and start with a lot of listening, and acknowledging that uplifting trans and nonbinary folks do not take away from our personal experience. If anything, it empowers us to connect more with our bodies and build empathy for other communities.

Image: Thais Varela / Stocksy

Across The Country, Tampons Are Taxed As A Luxury. Here’s How To Fix It.

October 19th is National Period Day, which aims to bring awareness to the issue of period poverty (meaning, lack of access to hygiene products because of financial constraints) and make period products more affordable for people who menstruate everywhere. One main way we’re trying to do that is by ending the Tampon Tax—a sales tax placed on hygiene products like pads and tampons, that other items, like Viagra, do not have. We tapped Nadya Okamoto, the founder of PERIOD, to tell her story on how she found out about period poverty, why she’s so passionate to end it, and what we can all do to help.

It’s 2019. People have been menstruating since the beginning of humankind. Periods make human life possible. And yet, still today, 34 states have a sales tax on period products, basically considering them luxury items. WTF?

When I was 16-years-old, I discovered an unaddressed natural need I’d never thought about before: periods. At the time, my own family was living without a home of our own, and I was facing a two-hour commute to school on public transportation. I became friendly with homeless women who I saw at my bus stop every day. In asking them, “what do you find most challenging about your living situation?” I collected an accidental anthology of women using toilet paper, socks, brown paper grocery bags, and even cardboard to take care of their periods. I distinctly remember one woman showing me how she would take a small piece of cardboard, rip off the outer layer from each side, and then rub the middle section in between her hands to make it a more flexible homemade version of a pad. 

Privilege check: Even when my family was experiencing housing instability, I always had access to menstrual products, and had never even thought about using trash to take care of my period. In fact, I had never even thought about what it would be like to menstruate without access to period products. Hearing these first-hand stories of period poverty ignited anger and curiosity within me. I kept thinking: How is it that menstruation makes human life possible and we haven’t figured out a solution for all people to have period products?! While simultaneously wondering, how far does the issue go? Who else can’t afford access to period products? 

So naturally, I took my questions to Google. In my free time, I would search keywords about menstruation, poverty, and different geographical regions, just trying to learn more.

Through my research, I learned that periods are the number one reason why girls miss school in developing countries, and often times a girl’s first period is the single event that leads to her dropping out of school, getting married early, or undergoing female genital mutilation or social isolation. It was actually easier to find information about period poverty in other countries than it was about the United States. I learned that at the time, in 2014, 40 states in the US had a sales tax on period products, considering them “non-essential goods”—so, basically luxury items. 

Meanwhile, products like Rogaine and Viagra were considered essential and didn’t have this tax. I remember reading this and refreshing the page a few times to make sure I was reading it correctly before thinking: Are you f*cking kidding me?! Old man hair growth and erections are considered more of a necessity than over half of our population feeling clean, confident, and capable 100 percent of the time, regardless of something so natural like a period? What?! 

These exact thoughts and emotions have not left my mind since I discovered the “tampon tax,” the term used to describe the taxation of menstrual hygiene products. 

Since 2014, when I started my activism in the #MenstrualMovement, we’ve seen incredible progress: countries like India and Australia have nationally axed their tampon tax, the UK has repurposed the revenue from their version of the tax to directly provide period products to girls in secondary schools, and the US is down to 34 states (still an overwhelming majority) that still have the tampon tax. 

Eliminating the tampon tax is not going to be a blanket solution to period poverty—I mean, realistically, the tax is not impacting the menstruators who have the least access to tampons. It’s affecting the people who are already purchasing the product, making the cost a burden for primarily low-income consumers. That being said, the reason period poverty persists is because menstrual hygiene is not treated like a right, it’s treated as a privilege.

Here’s an example: Just earlier this year, a GOP Representative in Maine voted against a bill to make period products accessible in prisons, saying that “the jail system and the correctional system was never meant to be a country club.” As if we can opt out of periods like they’re a Netflix subscription.

The #tampontax frames menstrual hygiene as a LUXURY—an inaccurate assumption we need to deconstruct once in for all in the movement against period poverty. At the end of the day, this fight isn’t just about periods, this is about the fundamental human right to be able to discover and reach one’s full potential regardless of a natural need. And what could be more natural than menstruation? 

Join us this Saturday for the first-ever National Period Day. On October 19, my organization PERIOD will be mobilizing rallies in all 50 states and major cities, demanding action and an end to the #tampontax. Join us at one of our rallies in-person, or share why you’re joining the #menstrualmovement on social media by using #nationalperiodday and tagging @periodmovement. There are so many ways to get involved both nationally and statewide—check out Utah’s legislative campaign and help us keep putting pressure on Ohio lawmakers to end their “pink tax”! I truly believe that if we unite and we refuse to shut up about periods, we can take down the tampon tax in the new few years. Just 34 more states to go. 

Let’s do this.

Image: Noah Shaub

Women Who F*ck Sh*t Up: Nadya Okamoto

Welcome to our new profile series, Women Who F*ck Sh*t Up, where we highlight accomplished, smart, driven women who are making waves. First up is Nadya Okamoto, activist, non-profit founder, professional speaker, and Harvard student.

Have you ever watched a 20-year-old woman roast a grown man in front of over a hundred people because he was physically incapable of uttering the word “period?” If not, I can’t recommend it enough. Nothing soothes the soul like watching older men be made uncomfortable by young, brazen women.

This was my introduction to Nadya Okamoto. She was the keynote speaker at a conference my company was hosting in the spring of 2018. The theme of the event was “Decoding Gen-Z,” and we probably couldn’t have found a more apropos guest. As an activist, non-profit founder, and professional speaker who still wasn’t old enough to legally drink alcohol, Nadya ticked many of the boxes we’ve come to expect when we think of the next generation. She was up on stage in a packed industrial event space, preaching to advertising industry leaders and high-level executives from prominent companies about the menstrual movement, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. To be fair, for her, it kind of is.

At one point in her speech, the aforementioned man raised his hand to commend Nadya for her vigor, and then asked how he could best talk to his daughters about their periods. Except he couldn’t get the words out.

“Period. The word you’re looking for is period,” she deadpanned. The room went up in laughter, all tension diminished, but I was struck by the surreal nature of what had just happened.

Like most women, I‘ve spent a large portion of my life pretending that I don’t succumb to the biological flaw that are periods: shoving tampons up my sleeves while sneaking off to the bathroom, sitting at a desk and silently powering through cramps that would debilitate any full-grown man, begrudgingly laughing at sh*tty jokes about PMS that only seem to crop up on sh*tty sitcoms written be equally sh*tty men. We’ve all done it. Worse, we’ve all done it and pretended that we didn’t, because to recognize a period is to admit to the shame of having a period.

But here was this young woman casually flipping every paradigm I’ve ever known on its head, making men feel embarrassed for once for their general ignorance and disregard about a topic that we’ve spent a significant portion of our lives shamefully hiding. It was liberating! But in that conflicted way where you’re super excited about progress that should have been commonplace to begin with. I stood there and thought “who is this?” while I clapped along with the rest of the audience and Nadya picked up her speech right where she’d left it.

It wasn’t the last time she’d surprise me.

Now, Nadya Okamoto is a 21-year-old college student. More accurately, a 21-year-old Harvard drop-out (officially on indefinite leave, but due to return in the fall). That moniker may have been shameful 20 years ago, but in this post-Zuckerberg era we all know that dropping out of an Ivy to pursue something bigger is the new Magna Cum Laude.

More interesting than that, though, Nadya is the Founder and President of PERIOD, a youth-run non-profit that celebrates menstruation through service, education, and advocacy.  Don’t know what means? You’re not alone.

When Nadya was 16, her mother parted ways with her job and their family lost their home. What followed was a period of crashing at the homes of their friends while her mom got them back on their feet. Suddenly, what was once a 12-minute drive to high school in Portland, OR, became a two-hour-plus commute, and during that time Nadya came into contact with many homeless women. It was these women—their stories, their daily struggles with an issue that nearly half the world takes for granted and the other half merely ignores, their desperation that lead them to use unsanitary items like socks or cardboard or paper bags in lieu of menstrual products—that drove Nadya to action. At the age of 16, with no experience or credentials to her name, she co-founded PERIOD alongside her classmate, Vincent Forand.

“I think from a big wake-up call in knowing how much privilege I have in many ways and recognizing the blessing and platform that I had in comparison to these women in much worse living situations,” Nadya explained to me over the phone last Thursday, taking a break from creating a vision board for yet another meeting she had scheduled the next day. “It was only a matter of months of, you know, spending time Googling and learning more about period poverty that pushed me to realize that not enough was being done around this.”

Period poverty is, quite simply, the inability to afford menstrual hygiene products. Much like the homeless women Nadya once encountered on a daily basis, period poverty forces people all over the world to resort to using unsanitary items to manage their menstruation. It’s the number one reason that girls leave school in developing countries, but they aren’t the only ones to suffer. The UK is the 5th richest country in the world, and yet 10% of girls and young women there have been unable to afford sanitary products at some point in their lives. Just this month, the British government pledged to invest two million pounds into international aid to fund projects around the world providing sanitary products and education.

This is a very real problem, just one that most people have never even heard of.

PERIOD started with a simple mission: to provide people in need with menstrual hygiene products. That was in 2014, and since then Nadya, Vincent, and their now 350+ university and high school campus chapters have delivered over 500,000 period packs to those in need. But why stop there? PERIOD chapters around the country have been lobbying to get free and accessible period products into schools—and they’ve succeeded. The Portland Public School system, Ohio State University, UC Davis, Texas A&M Corpus Cristi, and Harvard have all taken steps toward ending period poverty, all thanks to the tireless work of local students who’ve taken Nadya’s message to a grassroots level.

This year, Nadya has set her sights even higher: Betsy DeVos. In partnership with THINX, PERIOD drafted a petition to the Department of Education, demanding that it “acknowledge period products as necessities, advocate for policies that support students who menstruate, and make period products free and accessible for all public school restrooms.” It currently has over 44,000 signatures. In the event that they reach their goal of 100,000 signatures, will Betsy take a break from defunding the Special Olympics to read it over? Only time will tell.

Beyond that, Nadya’s goals for PERIOD over the next year are simple: make a f*ck ton of noise about period poverty. “I know this sounds like a huge goal and maybe not very realistic, but I think my goal for the year is to get all Americans all over America as obsessed with ending period poverty and period stigma as I am.”

Not very realistic, indeed. I hate that my initial instinct was to laugh, but when you think about who sits in the White House, who sits on the Supreme Court, who sits in C-Suites and governing bodies all over the country, it’s hard to imagine her dream becoming a reality. Republicans may want to control our uteruses, but they sure as hell don’t want to clean up after them. I said as much to her, asking how she could possibly combat the sexism that runs rampant in this country.

Her response was so immediate that I’m almost ashamed I questioned it in the first place: “call them out.” Apparently my first interaction with Nadya wasn’t an irregular occurrence.

“When I give speeches, when I say the word ‘period’ and someone makes a physical reaction, I’m like, ‘do you see how you just reacted? Did you know that menstruation is a natural human body process that makes life possible? Did you know that your wife, your daughter, your sister, your mother all menstruate for 40 years of their life on a monthly basis?’” It’s tragic that we have to qualify the value of these women by their relation to men, but it’s also a reality.

Beyond providing products to those in need, another major tenet of PERIOD is ending the stigma around menstruation. “This is a matter of human dignity. It’s a natural normal thing and we need to talk about it just like that If we don’t talk about this, we will not achieve gender equality.”

As a younger millennial, it’s not often that I feel entirely disconnected from Gen-Z. But listening to Nadya discuss this, watching the support she’s garnered across the country, across the world, from men and women alike, is one of the first times that I start to realize the gap between our two generations. Because I know that I have male friends who would scoff at this kind of rhetoric. Hell, I know women who would. But her co-founder is a man. PERIOD’s Facebook following is 20% male. These may seem like small victories, but in the grand scheme of cultural conversation around menstruation, they’re feats in and of themselves.

So what does a 21-year-old do when she’s not running a non-profit, speaking at SXSW panels, or taking on the Department of Education? Runs for office herself, of course.

In 2017, at the age of 19, Nadya ran for city council in Cambridge, MA, inspired by her passion for housing affordability. She didn’t win, but she’s not too broken up about that. “Honestly, by the end I was realizing how insane it would have been. Running for office was one of the most exhausting things I’ve ever done. Sleeping two, three hours a night, canvassing six hours a day, running PERIOD. And when I started, I was working six jobs.”

Six jobs? Six? Jobs? I winced at this point, reflecting on the toll that a measly 1.5 jobs takes on me. But it appears the endeavor took a toll on Nadya as well: she lost her period for an entire year due to exhaustion. The irony was not lost on me.

Nadya ran against 26 other candidates, and while her campaign ultimately failed, she succeeded in making history for student and youth voter turnout. However, her age and race made her a target of multiple death threats from constituents who didn’t think she represented what they needed, and she ended up having to move as a result. When Nadya returns to Harvard in the fall, it will be to a new house and potentially a new major.

“I think if anything I’ve learned over the past two months, working with people in the space and talking to mentors is, like, what you major in doesn’t really matter… I mean, I’m my own boss and right now I don’t know if that’s going to change, and for me, I think I just want to learn whatever I can use in the real world immediately.”

For Nadya, that means moving from Social Studies to Women and Gender Studies, which would allow her to continue her education while also priming her with subject matter for her next book. Yes, her next book. Because she’s already written a first one.

Over the course of two months in 2018, Nadya wrote Period Power: A Manifesto for the Menstrual Movement. It’s taken me a full week to write this profile, but sure. It was released in October of 2018 and Nadya is already thinking about book number two. “I think a totally new topic, but I’m still figuring out what that’s going to look like. And figuring out when I’m going to have the f*cking time to write my next proposal.”

While she assured me that she wasn’t, in fact, writing that proposal during our conversation, I couldn’t really be sure. Through our professional relationship and over the course of this interview, I learned that there’s rarely a time when Nadya isn’t thinking about her next project. Case in point: her other-other job.

A few months ago Nadya stepped down as Executive Director of PERIOD, passing the baton to Betsy Natter, a member of her board and mother of one of her high school friends. Nadya has been operating as Founder and President since then, which allows her to focus on her favorite parts of the job, advocacy work and managing media and corporate partnerships.

The switch has also allowed her to focus on a new venture—Chief Brand Officer of JUV Consulting, a Gen-Z marketing agency based in New York City. JUV employs around 150 teenagers, between the ages of 14 and 20, who act as consultants to corporate executives who are attempting to build out marketing strategies targeted towards Gen-Z. Skeptics might think this is a lofty ambition at best, but JUV boasts big name clients like TNT, NBC, Visa, American Express, and a handful of Unilever brands.

Considering the fact that you can’t go on Twitter without coming across yet another “edgy” fast-food brand attempting to capitalize on youth culture, it’s kind of genius. I work in advertising. I have suffered through more meetings than I can count where out-of-touch adults brainstorm ways to “connect with the teens.” I have listened to too many middle-aged men describe shoes as “lit.” In hindsight, I would have killed for a 16- year-old to laugh in their face when they said it.

If all of this is making you feel old, it’s because it should. “I’m the oldest person in the company and I’m 21,” Nadya casually mentioned while I felt my 27-year-old bones disintegrate into insignificant dust.

But that very reaction—one that I’ll admit I’ve felt multiple times across multiple interactions with Nadya—is one she’s trying to change. Nadya knows she does a lot. In fact, Nadya knows that she does arguably too much. She’s very open about the fact that her, um, let’s call them extracurriculars, have prevented her from experiencing normal teenage things.

“Yes, I’ve done a lot, but it’s because I’ve given up a lot of social life. I’ve given up a lot of personal life so I could do this because this is what I want to do. It’s not that you’re doing nothing in comparison,” she assured me, “I think that everyone has a story and everyone is doing a lot. I feel like we could all push ourselves to do more.”

She’s emphatic now. Up until this point our conversation has covered what I imagine to be fairly canned responses for her. But the way that people react to her, to the path that she’s chosen and has clearly been criticized for in the past, has brought a new level of urgency to our discussion.

Being a 21-year-old activist does not save you from the unsought and, at times, unwarranted opinions of strangers. In fact, it opens you up to more criticism than you’d experience otherwise. At least this seems to be the case for Nadya.

“Literally people always give me this unsolicited piece of advice that I hate but also respect. People always tell me ‘Oh, you can do a bunch of things or you can do one thing really well.’” This sentiment does not sit well with Nadya, who appears to be hellbent on doing just about every single thing extremely well. She has one question for the world, for her critics, for anyone who questions her motives or her drive or her sleeping habits: why can’t I have it all?

“To me, it’s not good enough to just be like, ‘okay, I’m only going to do one thing’ and think of other things as a sacrifice to that. Why can’t I pursue a non-profit and a speaking career and also try to explore for-profit work and then also have a boyfriend and have a life? Why can’t I have it all?”

I didn’t have an answer for her. In that moment, as I sat in my room lightly hungover from a work event the night before, feeling like I wasn’t fulfilling an ounce of my potential, despite the fact that that’s the opposite of the way she wants me to feel, I too wondered why Nadya couldn’t have it all. But, and aligning with everything I’d come to expect by that point, she had an answer for her own question. Nadya figured out an early age what it takes some many years to realize: the world is uncomfortable with ambitious women.

“The other piece of advice I get a lot from women is ‘oh honey, we love what you’re doing but make sure you’re taking care of yourself.’ People are always telling me, ‘make sure you’re happy.’ And I always say thank you, but I think it’s super interesting that ambition and success equated with giving up happiness and self-care.”

DANA POINT, CA – FEBRUARY 07: Founder & Executive Director, Nadya Okamoto speaks onstage during The 2019 MAKERS Conference at Monarch Beach Resort on February 7, 2019 in Dana Point, California. (Photo by Vivien Killilea/Getty Images for MAKERS) *** Local Caption *** Nadya Okamoto


I raced to agree with her before realizing that I had done the exact same thing, not 20 minutes before. Our entire conversation had been a fairly one-sided exchange in which Nadya detailed her various undertakings while I interjected with thought-provoking statements like “Jesus Christ” and “that’s insane” or, the apparently wholly unoriginal “wow, do you even sleep?”

By the way, she sleeps eight to ten hours a night these days.

Had I, unbeknownst to myself, immediately assumed that her success came at the detriment of her happiness? Had I fallen in that far-too-common trap, perpetuating the idea that in order to achieve great things she had to give part of herself away? Was I just another one of the countless women who were intimidated by her ambition, and reconciled that by subconsciously belittling her choices? I might have been, but I won’t be in the future.

If we’re being realistic, compromise is inevitable. There are only 24 hours in a day. By definition, we cannot have it all. But we can have enough. By her own admission, Nadya has missed out on aspects of life because of PERIOD and everything that came with it. But she wouldn’t change any of that for the world. Maybe what we can really learn from her is that missing out doesn’t have to be the end all, be all marker for happiness—as long as you make it worth your while.

Nadya told me that nearly every publicist she’s ever worked with has told her she has a tendency to make people feel inadequate. Once upon a time I might have agreed with them, but not anymore. What became most apparent during my time with Nadya, what’s stuck with me more than her inhuman levels of productivity or unparalleled passion or her general need to do all things at all times, is that she never comes across as intimidating. Success has not jaded her. In fact, she’s incredibly warm.

It’s commonplace, even expected, for a certain level of achievement to turn us into assholes. If you get to the point where you’ve accomplished enough to lose all your friends, you’ve pretty much made it. If you’ve done it by age 21, you get a couple lawsuits and a movie made about you. But Nadya defies that trope. In fact, if I didn’t know better, I would mistake her earnest faith in humanity as naïvete.

It’s that single attribute more than anything, her ability to maintain her optimism and vulnerability in the face of overwhelming, near insurmountable obstacles, that makes me think she’ll get closer than anyone to have it all. And maybe, with her leading the way, the rest of us can, too.

Images: Nadya Okamoto (5) 

Video: PERIOD. The Menstrual Movement