Miley Cyrus has always, in my book, been a gay icon. I mean, when your career starts by playing a high school student by day and a pop star at night, what other trajectory could you possibly have? The gay community has constantly adored Miley, from “7 Things” to “Party in the USA” to the entire Bangerz album to her recent hit shading ex-husband Liam Hemsworth, “Slide Away.” And how does she repay us? BY DISAPPOINTING US ON A G*DDAMN INSTA LIVE.
Miley’s had a tumultuous year when it comes to relationships: first, her less-than-a-year marriage with Liam Hemsworth imploded, then her summer fling with Kaitlynn Carter came to an abrupt end, and now she’s apparently in love with Australian musician Cody Simpson. I recently wrote an article on how she was on the Instagram trip of a lifetime with her dog and family, wishing her well on her journey to love, and she responded by stabbing me in the back!
In a recent Instagram live with new fling Cody Simpson, Miley talks about how she’s finally found a good man, while simultaneously completely objectifying the LGBTQ+ community and literally suggesting her bisexuality was a choice.
She said, “There are good men out there guys, don’t give up. You don’t have to be gay, there are good people with dicks out there, you’ve just got to find them. You’ve got to find a dick that’s not a dick, you know. I always thought I had to be gay, because I thought all guys were evil, but it’s not true. There are good people out there that just happen to have dicks. I’ve only ever met one, and he’s on this live.”
Like…girl…what the f*ck are you saying? I understand she’s joking while obviously trying to be rude to Liam, but what she’s actually doing is slighting an entire community that’s largely supported her through every aspect of her career.
The video is below, so you can see you see for yourself:
“Don’t give up, you don’t have to be gay, there are good dicks out there, you just have to find them”
“I always thought I had to be gay because all guys are evil but that’s not true”
– @MileyCyrus what's good? pic.twitter.com/y3yjUGpCSN
— • (@bljcmie) October 21, 2019
Okay, Miley, let’s talk. There’s so much wrong about this 48-second clip. First, I hate to be the one to break the news to you babe, but things aren’t going to work out with Cody either. Second, I know that you support the LGBTQ+ community, have a charity to help LGBTQ+ homeless youth, and you’re a huge fan of drag, so I certainly hope that you’d never intentionally state that being gay is a choice, yet that’s exactly what you implied. And third—am I overreacting? Yes. I’m sure I am, but I don’t care.
Coming out is so hard. Like so, so hard. The 21 years I spent in the closet were the hardest years of my life, and as embarrassing as it may sound, Lady Gaga is a huge reason I found the courage to come out. I would watch her videos on YouTube and listen to her constantly, dreaming about one day being the person that I wanted to be because she constantly reminded me that I was born this way, that I was worthy of love, and that my sexuality wasn’t a choice. (If you’ve never seen her Brave speech, then literally watch it now because it will give you enough strength to get through the winter). I just keep thinking about all of the young, 16-year-old kids in the suburbs or in the country whose Lady Gaga is Miley Cyrus, and who heard her say the words “you don’t have to be gay.” If I had heard Lady Gaga say something like that when I was at my most vulnerable, I can honestly say I don’t know that I’d be where I am today.
For some, this might be easy to brush off as a joke and something meant to make her exes feel bad, not to crush all of her LGBTQ+ supporters, but that’s exactly what it did, at least for me. For the record, being gay is not a choice, and if you are in the closet and Miley was your beacon of hope, I’m sorry. Watch the “Bad Romance” video and know that as cliche as it may sound, it really does get better.
UPDATED: While Miley recently apologized in a tweet, on my opinion, it’s not enough. (Also, it’s short enough to be just a regular tweet, no need to put in your notes…like come on, but that’s not the point.)
— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) October 21, 2019
While we all say things we shouldn’t and things that are misconstrued into bigger deals than they actually are, I don’t feel like this apology is enough to make up for the words that were said. Not to mention, she refers to herself as part of the LGBTQ+ community a day after she said it was a brief choice to be there, but the real kicker is ending it with “Happy Monday!” How in the world is anyone supposed to be accept an apology that ends with Happy Monday?
Images: Giphy (2); bljcmie / Twitter
Our sweet, sweet Miley Cyrus has had quite the summer. First, she dealt with a tumultuous breakup with husband Liam Hemsworth, where rumors of his drug and alcohol abuse and rumors of her infidelity spread like wildfire. Soon after, she went on a twitter rant for the ages, listing a slew of things she’s been criticized for in her recent life, from getting fired from Hotel Translyvania for licking a penis cake to “probably having more nudes on the internet than any woman in history,” but swore up and down that she didn’t cheat. Then, Liam officially filed for divorce in August after less than a year of marriage, citing “irreconcilable differences.”
We all rejoiced when we thought Miley rediscovered her happiness with Kaitlynn Carter, as the two lived the hot girl summer Meghan Thee Stallion was rapping about. They were both fresh off of high-profile marriages, and they seemingly were always holding hands all over the f*cking world, from yachts off the Italian coast to backstage at the VMAs. In the early days of September, the two seemed to be getting more and more serious, with sources telling People they were living together, Kaitlynn wearing an “M” engraved ring, and more PDA than a couple of high school seniors who are about to graduate and go to different colleges. Then, like expired alka seltzer, the two fizzled out in about two god damn seconds, ending things on September 22nd—talk about a summer fling!
I think we can all agree that we just want Miley to be happy, and some time alone is exactly what I would recommend to a friend who went through two serious relationships in a matter of two months. It seems Miley agreed, because according to her Instagram, she’s on the vacation of a lifetime with her one true love: her dog Bean.
This dog no doubt lives a life with more riches than most of us can even dream of. I imagine he eats milk bones off silver platters and has someone that scrapes his butt on the carpet so he doesn’t have to do it himself—I’m not jealous of a dog, you’re jealous of a dog. The two are apparently in Lake Powell, which is partly in Utah and partly in Arizona, and wholly some place that I would happily be buried.
Here’s Bean on a kayak with his mom:
Traveling influencers are somehow now a thing, and apparently the ways to become one are to either have rich parents, be Dean Unglert from Bachelor in Paradise, or be the incredibly lucky dog of Miley Cyrus. Here’s a little taste of what Bean Cyrus has been up to over the past few days. And remember, I’m definitely *NOT* jealous of this dog.
I mean…are you f*cking kidding? I’m about to buy a dog costume and pull some sh*t like that 22-year-old who pretended to be a toddler to get adopted. It seems like Miley is finally in a healthy and loving relationship, and this one won’t f*ck it up on her.
It seems her mom and sister are on the trip as well, so Bean must fit into the family seamlessly—some people have all the luck! Regardless, Miley looks great, Bean looks even better, and whoever is the next non-four-legged companion for Miley better watch themselves, because Bean is some stiff competition. Literally who needs a man (or woman) when you have a fur baby like that? No one, that’s who.
Images: mileycyrus / Instagram
On Saturday, the entire world went into a state of collective shock when we found out that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth had separated after less than a year of marriage. Though Miley and Liam have only been married for around eight months, their love story goes all the way back to 2009, so their most recent split feels like the end of an era. I mean, am I just not supposed to watch The Last Song anymore, or listen to “Wrecking Ball”? Somebody please advise.
Miley and Liam’s is one of the more unexpected celebrity breakups in recent memory, but Miley hasn’t been shy on social media since the news broke. In fact, she’s basically broadcast her entire Italian vacation, posting more than a dozen photos in the last two days. Obviously everyone experiences breakups differently, but Miley might be overdoing it a little with the posting. Let’s take a look at some of her most recent posts, and try to get a little more of an idea of what she’s going through. We’ll also talk about the situation with Brody Jenner’s ex Kaitlynn Carter, because I’m still not done processing it. Call me Marie Kondo, because I love mess.
Before any of us knew about the breakup news, Miley Cyrus kicked off her European vacation and Instagram spree with the above video of her dancing to Aaliyah’s “Rock The Boat.” It’s an amazing song choice, and Miley looks so great and carefree here. This is definitely a hot girl summer vibe, but little did we know that our perspective on this whole trip was about to change.
That video was from Friday, and on the same day, Kaitlynn Carter posted this photo of her and Miley on a boat, also with a caption about rocking the boat.
Boy, did 24 hours change the context of this photo. When I first saw that Kaitlynn was on vacation with Miley, my reaction was somewhere between “what the f*ck” and actually being impressed that Kaitlynn got this invite. On The Hills reboot, Kaitlynn is pretty insufferable, so it’s surprising that Miley would want to hang out with her enough to invite her to Italy, but hey, it’s not my life.
BUT THEN. On Saturday f*cking night, the news spread that Liam and Miley are done, and there were also photos of Miley and Kaitlynn making out. How am I doing? Not well, bitch! The breakup was already a lot to process, but the thought of Miley and Kaitlynn together is almost too much for me to handle. (Not at all influenced by the fact that I was definitely drunk when both pieces of news came in.) Maybe Kaitlynn is cool in real life and she just didn’t vibe with the crew on The Hills, but she still seems like such a random choice. Miley Cyrus is openly queer, so it’s not shocking that she’s making out with a woman, but this woman?
Then, the plot with Miley and Kaitlynn thickened, when Brody Jenner decided to insert himself in the narrative. He said “Watch out! Pics of Liam and I holding hands on the beach coming soon.” Obviously he’s joking, but I kind of love that he’s not shying away from getting involved here. He and Kaitlynn only split up a couple weeks ago, so there are a lot of moving pieces here.
Then, Miley jumped in with Brody, telling him to take a nap in his truck and cool off. At this point, I have fully no idea what’s going on here, but I’m glad to watch it all unfold.
We obviously don’t know what’s going on with Miley and Kaitlynn and Brody and everyone else right now, or whether Miley and Kaitlynn’s relationship is headed anywhere, but we do know that Miley has been busy on Instagram since the news of the split. She did a full photoshoot in whatever mansion she’s staying in, complete with this awkward Boomerang that I’m obsessed with:
She had no idea what to do with her leg, and it’s the most relatable she’s ever been. Whether or not Miley is in a good place emotionally right now, she’s definitely feeling herself on this vacation, and I’m happy about that. But to be honest, this is the kind of thing that a Real Housewife would post, and I would wonder if she was having a nervous breakdown. Miley’s other posts seem pretty coherent, but if she posts more stuff like this, I might be worried.
Miley also found a cool chair to pose in, and posted two different photos that are basically exactly the same. To be fair, in the caption of this one, she did warn us that we would be getting spammed, and I do appreciate the heads up. I would literally never mute her though, because I love myself, and these photos are getting me through the day.
After she was done with her castle photoshoot (same), Miley moved on to a mountain hike, of course in a crop top because god forbid that we forget she has the world’s most amazing body. In terms of the Instagram content, this is really my favorite portion of the trip so far. Not only is this location absolutely gorgeous, but the captions on these photos seem the most telling about what’s going on with her. This first one especially is pretty deep.
There’s a lot going on with this caption, and I’m not actually sure whether it’s about evolution, climate change, her breakup, or all of the above, but I’m into it. I’m not sure if the thing about the mountains being under water and connected to Africa is about Liam, but it could be. Who knows? She quotes her dad saying that “nature never hurries but it is always on time,” and this seems like it could be about knowing when to move on from a relationship. Miley and Liam’s relationship has been an on-and-off journey over an entire decade, so I’m sure the decision to end things wasn’t taken lightly.
But this, this is really the pièce de résistance of the whole trip. It’s almost the exact same photo as the picture before, but you guys…THE CAPTION. Quick Miley Cyrus history lesson for anyone who’s lost: Miley’s song “The Climb,” which is from the Hannah Montana movie, was released in March 2009. Miley then started dating Liam while filming The Last Song just three months later, in June 2009. By those calculations, “The Climb” was probably one of the last songs that Miley did before she met Liam, and the message couldn’t be more perfect for where Miley’s at right now. And yes, I’m listening to “The Climb” and crying at work right now, what about it?
And what’s up with Liam Hemsworth right now? Unlike Miley, he’s not the type to be all over Instagram with his feelings, but he did give a comment when approached by The Daily Mail Australia, saying that “You don’t understand what it’s like.” This is technically true, considering that I’ve never been married, but I’m so curious to know more about the specifics of this breakup. Whose decision was it? Are things like, over over, or are they just on a break? Are Brody Jenner and Liam going to hook up next??
In the end, whether Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth get back together or not, I hope that they’re both doing well, and are happy with whatever happens. It seems like Miley’s been having a good trip to Italy, but we don’t really know what’s going on beneath the surface with her. And it seems like Liam might not be doing amazing, but we don’t really know about him either. Hopefully there will be more updates soon, but for now I’ll take all the Lake Como Instagrams I can get.
UPDATE: It’s now Tuesday morning, and just as my obsession with decoding Miley’s Instagram posts was starting to subside, Liam Hemsworth has officially entered the chat. Sadly, there are no photos of him making out with Brody Jenner on a yacht, but he did post a dramatic sunset pic with a caption addressing his and Miley’s split.
He wishes her “nothing but health and happiness going forward,” which actually makes me think that this might be over for good. There’s no mention of working through differences, or rebuilding their relationship—just health and happiness. This really is the end of an era. Then, Liam clarifies that this will be his only public comment on the situation, which calls into question the truth of the quote attributed to him by The Daily Mail Australia.
I’m glad that Liam acknowledged what’s going on, but I also respect his decision to not comment publicly on what happened with him and Miley. Hopefully at some point his brother Chris will get a little too drunk and spill the beans to the paparazzi, but until then we’ll just have to read between the lines on social media. Miley has been quiet on Instagram since she posted all those hiking pictures, so either her vacation is over, or someone took her phone away. Miley or Kaitlynn, if you’re reading this please send updates!!!
Images: mileycyrus (5), Kaitlynn, enews, liamhemsworth / Instagram
