The Best ‘Bachelorette’ Recap You’ll Ever Read: By All Means, Waste My Time

This week, I’m taking a break from writing your regularly scheduled Bachelorette recap in favor of providing you with a rare glimpse into my ABC burn book. That’s right, ABC, welcome to your tape. Now, you might be thinking to yourself: “but Ryanne, aren’t all your recaps just entries from a burn book?” Lol, you’re cute. Usually (for legal purposes) I try to contain my wrath as (legally) it’s a personal growth goal of mine to be less of a garbage monster and more of an emotionally functioning human being. But ABC, you have BURNED ME FOR THE LAST TIME. All bets are off now!

Here I was thinking this week we’d get to see a Hometown date Katie test out her dick jokes on unsuspecting family members in the Hyatt’s best conference room. BUT NO. Instead, we are gifted with about 25 minutes of usable, interesting footage and the rest of the time we’re forced to endure The Men Tell All. Here’s the thing about these “tell alls”: they tell nothing. It’s not like I was expecting Tayshia and Kaitlyn to spill state secrets or anything, but MY GOD the most interesting thing to happen this evening involved an audience member going rogue. Where was the drama? The intrigue? The big reveals? If I wanted to watch a bunch of straight dudes compliment each other, I’d go hang out around a beer pong table at a frat party. But I digress. Let’s dive into it.

ABC Goes In For The Kill Shot

Before we jump into the Men Tell All, ABC gives us one final twist in the Hometowns line-up. For weeks now, Michael A. has been winning over Katie—and casually all of America—with his blushing, sad dad act. Even if he didn’t have the background story of a Nicholas Sparks character, there’s just something about his affable personality that feels genuine in ways we definitely don’t often see on this show. Naturally, ABC’s first instinct is to obliterate that goodness. 

The episode opens with a conflicted Michael. He tells us that being so far away from his son has really been weighing on him emotionally. The producers, like the dementors they truly are, arrange for Michael to FaceTime his kid. Don’t be fooled for one second into thinking they did this out of the goodness of their hearts. No, this FaceTime was a strategic maneuver designed to inflict maximum pain. 

Case in point: Michael tells his son that he loves him and misses him and the kid shrieks “daddy left because he doesn’t want to see me” and then rushes off camera. DADDY LEFT BECAUSE HE DOESN’T WANT TO SEE ME. Are you kidding me with this, ABC?! While you’re at it, why don’t you take him out back and shoot him? It would finish the job and be kinder than putting him through this!

MICHAEL: *wavers emotionally*

Michael ends up self-eliminating almost immediately after that call. He tells Katie that he can’t focus on Hometowns and their relationship when he’s this worried about his son. Look, guys, I love Michael. I do. He’s a scruffy angel without wings. But he’s acting like his leaving The Bachelorette early is on par with the sacrifice Harry Potter’s parents made to shield him from Lord Voldemort. Honestly,  I just feel like he’s already done the damage to his child’s psyche. What’s the harm in staying a little longer? At least he’ll have a fun story for his future therapist!

Katie takes the news HARD. Her reaction feels a little over dramatic for someone she was probably going to dump later that day anyway. Be honest, Katie, are you really that upset over Michael leaving? I mean, yes he’s cute and sweet and has the soul of a Christmas elf but were you actually attracted to this guy? He’s just so… soft. He looks like the kind of guy whose idea of foreplay involves softly crying to Hallmark movies. 

Also, if they really wanted to, they could have worked this out. If she actually saw herself ending up with Michael, as she so tearfully proclaimed to him, then her reaction wouldn’t be “I need to let you go” it would be “that’s fine, go home and I’ll dump everyone else and meet up with you.” If there’s anything I’ve learned living in this post-Claire Bachelorette universe, it’s that there’s no rules on this franchise.  

Later, during the Tell All, we get to catch up with Michael and Katie. They both seem at peace with their decisions and Katie even says she has “no regrets” about her journey. If I were her, I’d be a little regretful. Especially when Michael walked out on that stage and his stylist had taken him from daddy to zaddyyyy. Damn, he looked good. I always thought he had the sex appeal of fuzzy socks, but that grown-in beard is making me rethink my entire worldview.

In fact, I’m just gonna leave this here:


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Cat People, Am I Right?

Perhaps Michael had to sacrifice himself so that out of his ashes a phoenix could rise. And by “phoenix” I mean a grown man with a fondness for kitten costumes. As is typical for the Tell All specials, the host picks various men from the season to humiliate just a little bit extra. Their sacrificial lamb this evening? Connor. Seems like low hanging fruit to me, but by all means, carry on with your carnage, ABC.

Tayshia and Kaitlyn ask Connor to join them in the hot seat, and they proceed to replay his trauma from the season like it’s a submission from America’s Funniest Home Videos. Was it really necessary that they re-air that footage of Katie calling him a shitty kisser? Kaitlyn’s like “is that the usual feedback you get from women after being intimate with them?” Kaitlyn!! Jesus Christ. I didn’t know that in addition to drinking wine and podcasting, your hobbies also include emotionally castrating men for the fun of it! Noted. 

Connor tells us that after filming ended, he reached out to a few of his exes to ask if he was a truly “trash kisser.” A TRASH KISSER. ABC, you are going to hell for this. 

Connor must look so pathetic that it upends the natural order of the universe, because all of a sudden, something happens the likes of which I have never seen on this franchise: a balcony monster gets her moment in the sun. First of all, I wasn’t aware that audience members were allowed to do anything other than laugh, cry, or cringe dramatically. In fact, I’m pretty sure ABC places some sort of witch’s curse upon them that binds them to those automatic settings, lest they act on their own free will and go off script. And yet, somehow, a random audience hoe has managed to break free from the mystical energy constraining her to her seat. Not only does she have the audacity to interrupt Connor’s interview, but then she demands a kiss from. AND HE ACTUALLY DOES IT!! 

And it doesn’t stop at one kiss! They’re going to town on each other while the rest of the men openly gawk at them from behind. What am I watching here? This isn’t a foam party in Miami! This is a Tell All, goddamn it. Have some respect! 

I’ll tell you one thing, this would not have happened on Chris Harrison’s watch. When he was running the show, he barely acknowledged the feral crowd that made up the live audience at these things. Meanwhile, Tayshia and Kaitlyn are all but handing out condoms on stage. Ladies! Save that for the commercial breaks!

Less Romance More Bromance

The majority of The Men Tell All focused on the men who were “here for the wrong reasons,” but even that half-hearted attempt at manifesting hostile energy didn’t take. Despite ABC’s best intentions, these guys seem to genuinely care for one another. Yes, there were the Aarons and the Tres and the Karls of the group, the guys who spent the majority of this season acting out a Scooby-Doo plot line instead of focusing on building relationships. But there were also guys like Greg, who would openly weep when Michael talked about his dead wife, and guys like Andrew who ignored the drama entirely and focused on Katie. 

That bromance energy carried on into the Tell All special. There were minimal squabbles, and Thomas, the main source of their anger, didn’t even show up until the last ten minutes of the special, when he literally phoned it in via Zoom. Later, when Aaron and Tre started ripping into Hunter, Connor—Connor!!—stood up for him. I guess that little kitty grew some claws after all. Meow. 

Look, was this an absolute waste of 120 minutes of my life? You bet. But I will begrudgingly admit that this is actually a good group of guys who deserve nice things. *waits to be struck by lightning* I can’t wait to see how ABC decimates those tenuous relationships in Paradise!

And that’s a wrap for this episode! Seriously. That’s it. Until next week!

Images: ABC / Craig Sjodin; Giphy (1); @bitchelorette_ / Instagram (1); ABC (1)

The Best ‘Bachelorette’ Recap You’ll Ever Read: The Men Tell All

This week on The Bachelorette, ABC is gifting us with a giant waste of our time The Men Tell All, and I for one cannot wait to watch Jason and Colton try and out-cry each other for the next two hours of my life. Kidding! I think I’d rather bathe in bleach. But, alas, we can’t all get what we want in this life. That said, you betches are in for a real treat because this week I’m watching The Bachelorette with fan faves Jordan Kimball and John Graham from Becca’s season AND Derek Peth. And don’t you worry—just because they’re sitting in the same room as me does not mean I’m not going to quietly rip them to shreds for the next 120 minutes. So, shall we get started?

Chris Harrison starts off the night by asking the hard questions: Will Becca find love?  If by “love” he means a man whose mother still rocks him to sleep at night or a homophobic racist, then, yes, I’m sure she will find love. Mazel tov!

Chris starts bringing out the men from Becca’s season, and it’s like going through my texts after a v aggressive happy hour—I literally have no idea what’s happening on my screen. I can’t wait for Chris Harrison to try and spin drama out of these nothing burger humans.

Oh STFU Jason. He’s like “it’s so stressful being here you just black out sometimes.” I mean, is this something I tell my boss when she confronts me about acting too “inappropriate” at our company happy hour? Yes. But that’s neither here nor there.

This is rich. Connor asks Chris how he can just “lose his mind” on the show as he wears a paisley blazer and beige slip ons and thinks nothing of it. K. We all know those glasses aren’t prescription either, Connor! (Also he literally got mad over a picture and threw it into a pool, lest we forget.)

They’re all ganging up on Jean-Blanc and I genuinely forgot that he was even on this show. Remember when he was the worst guy there because he was creepy and always trying to pimp out his cologne on Becca? Even though there was a literal sex offender who stayed several episodes longer? *sighs* Simpler times.

WHY DO THESE MEN KEEP USING THE WORD DISINGENUOUS? Like, they must have said it 10 times at this point. They keep using this word and I do not think it means what they think it means…

Interesting. I didn’t think Colton and Jordan would get into it tonight, but then again, one of them is willing to sell his virginity to ABC’s highest bidder and the other is Jordan. So, it makes sense.

COLTON: I’m not saying you weren’t a sweetheart, I’m just saying you’re not gonna get married in golden underwear.

First of all, Colton, those are fighting words. Second of all, they were all just in Vegas! You KNOW people get married in golden underwear there, like, all the time. 

Ah, yes. The Chicken chimes in. I was waiting for him to grasp for those three more seconds of fame. Jordan is like, “the worst thing you can ever say about a woman is that you’re settling, so I never said that. I just heavily implied that boys with asses like mine do not talk to girls with faces like hers.”

Sidenote: is anyone else noticing Wills’ provocative footwear rn? I feel like he got those booties from the Nordstrom anniversary sale and I’ve never loved him more. YOU DO YOU, BOO BOO.  

Wait, who is this guy wearing leggings from the Macy’s junior section trying to attack Jordan rn?

ME: Jordan, have you ever been in a fight in your entire life though?
JORDAN: Yes, I have. Once. When I was 12 years old.

Sure, Jan.

Chris Harrison calls Jordan to the hot seat and we get to see a look back at all the memes he inspired his best moments. Honestly, thank god he made it as far as he did because otherwise I would have set fire to ABC studios long ago.

Lololol Jordan just gave the Gretchen Weiners of all apologies to the people who didn’t like him on the show

JORDAN:  I’m sorry you didn’t like me but I won’t apologize for being confident and my wholly authentic self.

Tbh it’s one of the best motivational speeches I’ve heard in a while.

Chris Harrison asks the men why they think Jordan is so annoying and David, the man who lists “chicken” in his career bio, is like “well he wasn’t very serious about the whole process.” K.


CHRIS HARRISON: How was all 5 minutes of your time on The Bachelorette?
JOE: Pretty bad.
ME: You’re too pure for this earth.

JOE: *breathes*
ALL OF BACHELOR NATION: I would die for you.

Okay, what are these tweets Chris is pulling up about Grocery Joe? They each have, like, two likes. Are you really telling me that this is the best that underpaid ABC intern could do?

DEREK: *looks at Joe* He’s so cute, like a baby bird. I want to feed him with a dropper.

Truer words, Derek. Truer words.

LOL. I love that Chris Harrison can’t get any personal details out of Joe. It makes me like him so much more. He’s like “Idk what to say, there’s cameras around and I don’t even know you.”


Okay, Joe, you went all the way to Paradise and all you can tell us is “it’s complicated” with your relationship status? Are you kidding me ? I need to know if it’s chill to slide into his DMs he finds love in Paradise or not!

They call Wills into the hot seat, and I don’t know if I can watch his montage without going into a blind rage at Becca breaking down. It’s like I’m he’s getting dumped all over again. Oh my god he’s crying!!!

Chris is like “I feel like you connected on a different level with Becca than she did with the rest of the men.” Interesting choice of words, Chris. If by “different” he means on a level deeper than “hot and contractually obligated to show me affection for 6 weeks” then, yes, I suppose their relationship was a bit different.

God, Wills is such a goddamn gentleman. Even the way he’s talking about Becca rn post-breakup is sooo stand-up.

WILLS: *mumbles*

Colton’s next to sit in the hot seat, and I’m not sure I can sit through another tearful admission about his virginity. Also, WHAT is that bedazzled blazer he’s wearing rn? It’s heinous. Like, is Cary Fetman styling him too??

HAHA Chris keeps asking what his relationship with Tia was and he’s like “well I wouldn’t call it a ‘relationship.’’ What would you call it, Colton? Just the tip? And they say chivalry is dead, ladies!

Okay, I can’t with Colton right now and all his fake tears. He just  admitted on national television that he’s never seen a woman’s vagina and I’m not buying it for one effing second. You were a PRO FOOTBALL PLAYER and not one girl sent you a nude DM? Please. He’s trying sooo hard to recreate the Sean Lowe Bachelor magic and it’s painful to watch.

Last but not least, Jason takes the hot seat. Why do I have a feeling this is going to be less about him and Becca and more about him using this 10-15 minute window to campaign to be the next Bachelor?

JASON: You guys are so sweet—it’s been a wild ride!

Chris is like “what is it about what you just saw on this screen that brought you to tears more than when Becca actually dumped you?” Well, I’m pretty sure that’s from the onions production were furiously cutting in front of his face backstage prior to this taping, but you tell your truth, J!

They bring Becca out and she is doing an incredibly good job of reminding every single one of these men why they’re better off. Becca, you’re supposed to show up to this public roasting of all 30 of your exes looking so good that they wish they were dead!

I mean, what are those bedazzled half hoops she’s wearing? They say the bigger the hoop, the bigger the hoe, but those hoops are saying she might let you get to second base but only with the lights turned off.

Omg WHY is Jason talking to Becca like he’s going through an employee review?

JASON: Moving forward, what can I do to improve so that I can become the next Bachelor better myself for my next relationship?

I see right f*cking through you, Jason.

Jason is using “moreover” in a sentence, he’s quoting Oprah, dude is campaigning HARD for Bachelor. #MenTellAll

— Betches (@betchesluvthis) July 31, 2018

Chris asks Becca about the Tia situation and she’s like, “you know I’m still friends with her because I’m contractually obligated to be.” Ah, the true bonds of friendship. I bet she wants Tia to find love about as much as I want my ex to not die in a fiery car crash, but okay.

How many times are Chris Harrison and Becca going to say “this group of guys was so great” and then pointedly not discuss Lincoln?

Chris Harrison asks the men if they have any last words feel personally victimized by Becca AND JEAN-BLANC FUCKING RAISES HIS HAND. Stop. This is so uncomfortable. I’m dying.

^^an actual reenactment of what just happened on my screen

Oh of COURSE he’s using this five extra seconds of screen time to pimp out another cologne. Take your cologne and your broken dreams elsewhere, Jean!

Wait what is this apology? Chris doesn’t speak the entire  episode and then comes out at the end with an elaborate apology sung by a church choir? But why?

Well that wraps up another thrilling episode from this season! So in the end, the men did not tell all. They told almost nothing, and pretended like they were going to fight each other, as if we believed a man in suit capris would ever punch a man with perfectly coiffed hair. And the countdown to the finale begins!

Images: Getty Images; Giphy (6); ABC (3)

Chris Harrison Reveals Which Contestant Wasn’t Invited To The Men Tell All

This season of The Bachelorette is almost over, with only the Men Tell All and the finale ahead of us. Usually the Men Tell All is kind of a snoozefest where they rehash old drama we’ve already forgotten about, but this season’s could be interesting given all the drama that’s happened off-camera. However, it seems like we won’t get answers about one major news item this season, and that’s because everyone’s least favorite flat-earther and sexual offender, Lincoln, is donezo inside the Bachelor franchise. Chris Harrison told ET that Lincoln was not invited to the Men Tell All taping, so we probably won’t get answers from ABC on how he ended up on the show in the first place. We can also rule out seeing him on Bachelor in Paradise Season 5, too. Not that anyone really cared if he was there or not anyway.

All of Bachelor Nation re: Lincoln:

“I did not want him here nor did he deserve to earn the right to be here. He forfeited that right obviously with what he did, and lying to us and deceiving everybody,” Harrison told ET’s Lauren Zima after the Tell All taping last Friday. “So no, I’m very glad that he was not here and he was not extended an invitation.”

Way harsh, Tai Chris. Wait, I take that back. Lincoln is a scumbag who not only assaulted a woman on a cruise ship, but also likes to poop on floors. Good for you, Chris, for calling a spade a spade.

As you recall, Lincoln was convicted days before The Bachelorette premiered for a 2016 case where he groped an adult female on a harbor cruise ship in Suffolk County, New York. So, yeah, this guy totally knew he was in the middle of a case and pretended like it was NBD to go on The Bachelorette with all that pending litigation. For the dense among us, that is not allowed.

Warner Bros, the company responsible for making this show, told Us Weekly, “No one on The Bachelorette production had any knowledge about the incident or charges when Lincoln Adim was cast, and he himself denied ever having engaged in or having been charged with any sexual misconduct. We employ a well-respected and highly experienced third party who has done thousands of background checks consistent with industry standards to do a nationwide background check in this case.”

So, let me get this straight. My friends can find the date of birth, dating history, blood type, and GPA in high school and college of a guy I matched with on Hinge, but this “highly experienced third party” missed this guy’s pending court date and criminal records? Something seems awry, but whatever.

Anyway, according to the Suffolk County DA’s office, Lincoln was sentenced to one year in a house of correction, with that term suspended for a two-year probationary period. Meaning, he’s out and about, but not allowed to be near his victim and has to attend three AA meetings per week for two years. If he fails to comply with the judge’s orders he might have to serve out his sentence behind bars. Oh, and he totally has to register as a sex offender.

Lincoln, probably:

Chris did not comment on whether the controversy behind Garrett’s Instagram likes will come up on the Men Tell All, because I guess they still need to give us a reason to watch it.

Images: Giphy (2)

How To Deal With A Horrible Boss Without Nuking Your Career

The Betches discuss the Men Tell All on The Bachelorette and the Anthony Scaramucci situation. Dear Betches include having an emotionally abusive boss and whether you should tell your friend if her husband is cheating on her. We also played games, fucking duh.

The Types Of Girls You Always See On ‘The Bachelor’

Sadly, this season of The Bachelorette is coming to a close. We all learned a lot, mostly about implicit racial biases and what cheek implants look like, but that’s still a lot. Soon, we’ll know who Rachel has chosen *cough* BRYAN *cough* and we’ll be ready to move onto the next phase of The Bachelor franchise aka Bachelor In Paradise aka the best of all Bachelor Nation shows. Now that the scandal is behind them (is it??? idk), BiP will finally be able to focus on the beloved personalities that make them shitloads of money America has grown to love. Anyone who is a long time Bachelor fan knows the general categories that every person who agrees to fall in love on television and propose to a relative stranger falls into. There are the openly crazy ones, the subtly crazy ones, the ones who you really don’t feel like are crazy but then again they’re on The Bachelor so something must be wrong with them, and the dental hygienists. Season after season we inevitably are tricked into caring about these gorgeous idiots and their love lives, so much so that suddenly it’s the “Men Tell All” and you’re literally crying over Dean and his adorable camo suit jacket, a phrase you’d never thought you’d say.

Lucky for us, we here at Betches got a sneak peek at some of the incredible personalities we’re likely to see on the forthcoming season of The Bachelor, and we’re ready to share them with you. Check out our video below. 

For More Funny Videos Subscribe To Our YouTube Page!

The Best ‘Bachelorette’ Recap You’ll Ever Read: The Men Tell All & Thank God There’s Alcohol

This week on The Bachelorette, instead of finishing up with the fantasy suites or really giving us any sort of resolution from last week’s boring AF meet the parents episode, ABC chose to waste two hours of my life with the Men Tell All. Because we don’t get enough mansplaining in our everyday lives. Luckily for them, I can’t resist watching a group of grown-ass men wearing pastel pocket squares act like 14-year-old girls fighting over a lunch table.

The first 10 minutes consists of Chris Harrison revisiting his glory days the best Bachelor/Bachelorette moments from the Men Tell All episodes. Like, no need to try and convince me to watch this garbage. I’m already here. The alcohol has been bought.

We end this sad walk down memory lane with an ultrasound of JP and Ashley’s publicity stunt to stay relevant baby. I guess ABC thought it wasn’t enough that 60 percent of my Facebook newsfeed is selfies of my friends and every drunk girl I’ve ever befriended in the bathroom’s uteruses (your fetus looks like an alien btw), but now they must punish me further by watching Bachelor spawn float around in amniotic fluids? *pours drink*

Chris Harrison: Most seasons the mansion turns into one giant frat house, but this season we had to get production in there to fuck shit up was different.


Eye Roll

They’re introducing the men and I’m realizing that the Blue Moon I’m aggressively chugging has more testosterone in it than Rachel’s entire cast of suitors. If I see one more matching pocket square I will lose my goddamn mind. Also, I have never seen half of these people before in my damn life. I would bet my roommate’s the six pack sitting in my fridge rn that half these dudes are just random Instagram trash they found on the streets of LA. You’re not fooling anyone, ABC.

Lol I totally forgot about this completely scripted fight between Waboom and Blake. And then someone who made it to the final 5 opens his mouth to defend Blake. Who are you again?

Oh good, DeMario’s back. ABC must know I can’t sleep soundly until a fuckboy has whispered lies to me.

The entire cast jumps down DeMario’s throat over this whole Lexi thing, and yet, no one says shit about the whole Paradise scandal. I smell a cover-up.

Chris Harrison: Were you dating Lexi?

DeMario: Do you know the definition of “Side Chick”?

Chris Harrison: ….

DeMario: I didn’t even take a picture with her! Is there any actual “proof” that we dated??

Me: *tries to set DeMario on fire with eyes* *goes back to aggressively drinking alcohol*

Lol love that DaMario just compared himself and Lexi to a President of the United States and his mistress. Such a classic fuckboy move to defend your shady behavior by comparing yourself to other, more famous fuckboys.

DeMario: The way I see it, I’m like Bill Clinton



And now that we’ve sufficiently turned an entire studio audience and half of America against DeMario, let’s move on to the racist. Chris Harrison is so good at moving the conversation forward.

Dean trying to call Lee racist without using the R word or acknowledging that he low-key endorsed a racist comment on Instagram yesterday. At least you’re pretty.

Watching Kenny’s montage and all I can think is, seriously how fucking old is your child? Like, she’s so cute but old enough to rent a car. Forget this Kenny/Lee drama, Chris Harrison, I’d like to see this birth certificate!

Chris: What did you think about your dad going on the show?

McKenzie: Idk I’m just trying to get a car for my birthday.

Lol McKenzie shading Kenny for getting 10th in the competition is me as a child.

Now, that the 25-year-old paid actress Kenny’s kid has exited the stage I guess it’s time to bring out our president a racist asshole who cannot control himself on Twitter.

Lee Men Tell All

Lee: I just make jokes when I’m uncomfortable and at the wrong times.

Me & the viewers back home:

Are You Kidding Me

And OH SHIT. Chris Harrison brings out every racist, homophobic, anti-feminist tweet Lee has ever tweeted in his life. You have no chill, Chris. NO chill.

Lee looks terrified, like the audience and half the cast might shank him at any moment. I’m giddy from the drama.

Chris Harrison: *points to damning tweets*

Lee: I notice there’s some things that I need to work on… like my racism

DeMario is losing his shit over these tweets, meanwhile Will is looking at Lee like a disappointed dad. 

Disappointed Dad

^^Will watching Lee lose his damn mind on Twitter

THANK GOD, it’s Dean’s turn. I love when I get to spend quality time with my boyfriend a reality TV star I’ve never met before. The camera focuses on Dean and he talks about how he was dumped on national television after ABC used him for his family drama hometowns and then pans to a 14-year-old girl sobbing because they want you to remember that Dean is only 25. Subtle, ABC.

Watching Dean’s montage and all I can think is get you a man who will wear a camo blazer to a nationally televised event.

Dean Men Tell All

They bring Rachel out and once again my eyes are assaulted by her outfit choices. Rachel, WHY do you test me like this? I’ve already sat through 90 minutes of Waboom trying to stay relevant and the professional tickler sitting on a hand-shaped chair. Don’t do this to me.

It looks like that dress was part of someone’s Project Runway audition collection. But, like, the one Heidi and Nina talked shit about off-screen. At least her hair is on point though. Small victories.

Rachel Lindsay Men Tell All

Seriously, if anyone knows the name of her stylist please leave their name, number, and ALL of their social media handles in the comments section so I can properly reach out and have a conversation with them drag them on social media for what they’ve done to her.

The men are allowed to have one final conversation with Rachel before she is not contractually obligated to deal with their shit anymore. Fred cries. Kenny hits on her. Alex says nothing but his blazer says everything. Things like, you idiot, you never should have picked me to be second in your bracket.

Alex Bachelorette

^^Alex last night looking like he’ll steal your girl Bachelorette bracket victory

And that’s it for this episode! Thank god I spent two hours of my life watching Iggy try and interject into everyone’s drama every fucking second he could for more screen time. At least there was alcohol. I can’t wait to see next week’s shit show episode!