When news broke on Monday that Meghan Markle had given birth to her first child with Prince Harry, everyone was obviously excited. Details were scarce, but we were all eager to know more about the baby, even if we had already analyzed his birth chart. Luckily, the Royal family isn’t as secretive about their babies as they are about their cheating rumors, so today we got a first look Harry and Meghan’s new baby, and now we finally know his name: Archibald “Archie” Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor. With a name like that, this is already the oldest baby that’s ever been born.
Archibald was a pretty unexpected name choice, as the top predictions were all more typical British royal names: Alexander, James, Philip, and Arthur. All boring AF. In the end, they went with Archibald, which is a name that was most popular in the 1800s. Sure, why not. In their official announcement on Instagram, they just called him Archie, so basically I’m always going to think about Riverdale when I hear anything about this kid. Sorry, that’s just how my brain works. Honestly, if he grows up to look anything like KJ Apa, Harry and Meghan are going to have a major troublemaker on their hands. The official Archie Comics Twitter account wasted no time getting in on the action:
— Archie Comics (@ArchieComics) May 8, 2019
Bury me here, I’m dead. But now that I’m done thinking about KJ Apa’s abs (until later), let’s get back to the matter at hand—the Sussex Royal Instagram.
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The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are pleased to announce they have named their first born child: Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor This afternoon Their Royal Highnesses introduced Her Majesty The Queen to her eighth great-grandchild at Windsor Castle. The Duke of Edinburgh and The Duchess’ mother were also present for this special occasion. Photo credit: Chris Allerton ©️SussexRoyal
In the photo from today, we see Meghan introducing the baby to Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip for the first time, and it’s the happiest the Queen has looked in years. It’s pretty insane that she now has eight great-grandchildren, considering the fact that my mom will be lucky to get one grandkid out of me. Everyone looks great in the photo, especially Meghan Markle. It’s honestly rude how good she looks just two days after giving birth, but I’m trying to work on my jealousy issues.
It’s being reported that the Harry and Meghan have decided not to use a courtesy title for Archie, AKA he won’t be the Earl of Dumbarton, as had previously been reported. Basically, that just means that they don’t really care about their baby being ~royal~. Like, obviously he’ll still be royal AF, and lead a very comfortable life, but he’s not technically a Prince or anything. Sad for him! Instead, he’ll just be referred to as “Master Archie,” which still sounds fancy as f*ck.
This was fun, but now I’ve got to go to therapy to unpack why I’m jealous of a two-day old baby. Later!
Images: Getty Images; @sussexroyal / Instagram