Procrastination is my best talent and my middle name at this point. Laundry? Packing? Paying rent? You’ll probably find me attempting to go on a run if it means getting out of doing any of those. On a real note, there’s nothing I delay more than figuring out WTF my New Year’s Eve plans are every fucking year. It doesn’t help that living in New York City makes this a million times harder. Like, nothing stresses me more—other than trying to figure out the exact date we’ll get a confirmation on Kardashian-Jenner pregnancies. NYE is honestly the most overhyped, extra AF, ridiculously overpriced holiday ever. Nothing rarely goes according to plan, and tbh, I’m always too drunk to remember when midnight even happened, so why the hell would I pay a shit ton of money anyway? Unfortunately, NYE is in just a few weeks, which means you better get the ball rolling on your plans. Ball reference very much intended. From New Yorker to New Yorker, here are five not-so-expensive NYE plans you can make with your best girlfriends to ring in 2018.
Grab your 90s neon windbreaker and your boombox (JK, you probably can’t bring a boombox in there) and head over to House of Yes for a night of nostalgia mixed with futuristic chaos. No matter the theme, House of Yes knows how to throw a fucking party, and this will be one NYE you’ll never forget. Come in your best future or throwback outfit, because otherwise you won’t be allowed in—which just adds to the fun if you ask me. It’s like Hallowen mixed with NYE. “Which Fresh Prince did I make out with?” you may ask yourself. “Was that guy the Tin Man, or a robot?” you’ll wonder the next morning as you wipe silver paint off your face. Expect out-of-this-world costumes, live aerial performances, and more. Tickets start at $30, so buy now before they’re all gone. House of Yes events consistently sell out, so don’t say I didn’t warn you.
For those of you in Astoria who don’t feel like trekking it to Manhattan or going anywhere else because that’s just too much effort, one of the most popular bars is offering a three-hour open bar and, I quote, “big-ass champagne toast.” Tickets start at $75, where you can watch the countdown live on their TVs, drop it low, and eat tons of drunchies until it’s finally 12am. After midnight, the bar opens up to non-ticketholders for an “all night dance party” that supposedly goes until 8-fucking-am. WHO THE HELL IS STAYING OUT UNTIL 8am? I’m concerned.
Obviously, I was not going to include the Times Square ball drop on this savvy guide I’ve created, because I’m not a fucking martian. Anyone who lives in the vicinity of NYC knows to stay as far away as possible from that area or else get trampled, and don’t say we didn’t tell you so. If you’re still all about the craziness, you’ll def want to check out the epic celebration Stage 48 is bound to have in Hell’s Kitchen. The multi-floor club will provide five hours of open bar, four food stations, and hours of dancing on tables with your PICs. For tickets that start at $79, you’ll want to dress to impress, obvi.
Cielo is a banging nightclub known to host DJs we listen to on Spotify playlists, with some of the very best speakers in the city. So will you go deaf? Probably. But will you embarrassingly dance your ass off? Definitely. I say this as a fact, being that this is exactly what happened here on my birthday. This year’s NYE event will have a five hour open bar, champagne, and annoying party favors you’ll use when you’re drunk. General admission starts at $99, so obvs buy it ASAP before they sell out.
This is ~the~ official NYE party pass for club hopping in Meatpacking. There are three exclusive venues, which include The Chester, Common Ground, and The Lately, that offer five hour open bars, classy af prosecco, and top-notch live DJ performances of your favorite basic radio hits. Be sure to hop in each party for a variety of celebrations and of course, to sample the different tequila each place has to offer.
I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but summer is almost ending. I’ll wait a moment while you get your current panic attack in check. But yes, summer is coming to a close—sorry if I re-triggered you—and that means time is running out on doing fun, basic summery shit like getting drunk on rooftops and Instagramming popsicles you don’t eat. I know, it like, just got nice out and already they’re taking it all away. And this is why we can’t have nice things. So before you fall into a bottomless pit of despair and pumpkin spice lattes, you need to head to Plunge at the Gansevoort Meatpacking and try their new signature boozy push pops. Yes, you read that correctly. Alcohol. Popsicles. Your dream has come true: You can eat while getting drunk AND it looks great on your Instagram. You can thank me when your picture hits triple digit likes and when you’re drafting a drunk text to your ex. Okay, maybe don’t do the second thing. IDK. Live your best life.
Plunge at Gansevoort Meatpacking is a rooftop—hold your squeals of joy—and it’s gorg. It’s in meatpacking (obviously) so you get to feel a little bougie while you get drunk off shit you ate as a kid. My 7-year-old self would be so proud. And the Instagram potential views from Plunge are gorg—you can see the Hudson River (it looks beautiful and not disgusting from all the way up there) and the skyline. There is also a pool. I unfortunately didn’t get to eat these popsicles in the pool which is currently a major life regret. I honestly don’t even know if that’s technically allowed, but whatever. It is a personal goal of mine, and I am not stopping until I achieve it.
The popsicles come in three flavors. Essentially this means that you must order three at once and no one is allowed to judge you for triple-fisting. It’s not a problem, it’s an enthusiasm, ok?
1. Coco Rosé
Basics, look no further. An alcoholic popsicle that is pink and has rosé—this is like, your Holy Grail. It combines Flos de Pinoso Rosado with organic coconut manna (is that like, what God gave to the Israelites when they were walking through the desert for 40 years? Unclear), coconut water and sugar. It’s the perfect refreshing treat given the amount of thirsty pictures you’re going to post with it later.
2. Orange Pinot Gris
As the name implies, it contains Donkey & Goat Ramato Pinot Gris and sugar. You know that friend who “isn’t going out” because she’s “giving up hard alcohol”? This one’s for her. It’s just wine. Nobody can say no to wine.
3. Fruity Sangria
It is what it sounds like. Sangria. Sangria with red wine, cointreau, and apple brandy, to be exact. I like this one because there are actual chunks of fruit in it so I got to feel semi-healthy while actively destroying my liver in the name of Instagram likes hanging out with my friends.
I know you and your friends hate making plans, so you are welcome for making your weekend plans for you. Just like, hurry up before everyone gets the same genius idea and your feed is full of these popsicles.