Jambo, plastics. Happy October 3RD aka the unofficially official National Mean Girls Day. In honor of this blessed day, we can stop talking about a Kardashian being knocked up for a full 24 hours to focus on the greatest film you’ll ever watch. To celebrate, I’ll be doing nothing I normally wouldn’t do on an average Tuesday night, aka drinking wine alone with Taco Bell while still trying to memorize the “Jingle Bell Rock” dance. It’s no question you’ll be watching Mean Girls at some point today, whether it’s while you’re
bored at work ditching gym class, or right before you fuck up your all-carb diet at happy hour because (hi), it’s October 3rd. And being THE Betchen Wieners, I feel it’s my duty to kick my favorite holiday into high gear with the one thing I’m good at besides three-way calling attacks: drinking. So stop what you’re doing and play this game with friends (or just yourself), and since Mean Girls has been on Netflix for like 12 years, you have no excuse. But if you don’t have Netflix, then I’d assume your ex found out you still had his password you’re just some home-schooled jungle freak, but irregardless, get in loser, we’re going drinking.
Directions: Pretty much just drink (fucking duh). Bonus points for not drunkenly word vomiting your actual feelings to your weekend hookup by the end of the game. Oh, and if you actual vomit, I don’t think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be too pleased to hear about this.
Take One Drink:
-When someone says “too gay to function.”
-When a person’s name in the Burn Book is mentioned.
-When someone spills a rumor about Regina George.
-For every piece Cady breaks off of her crown.
-When a different language besides English is spoken.
Take Two Drinks:
-When someone alludes to Janice being a lesbian
-When Karen Smith says something stupid
-When someone tries to make “fetch” happen
-When someone pronounces Cady’s name as “Caddie”
-For every time Aaron Samuels helps Cady with her math homework
Assign Someone To Drink:
-When someone says “crack” or “cracked.”
-When Regina eats a carb.
-When a character is terrified of Cady’s Halloween costume.
-When Regina’s mom acts like a cool mom, not a regular mom.
Take A Shot:
-When Gretchen Wieners flips her shit on someone.
-When Cady wins first place at a school function.
-When a character ends up in the projection room above the auditorium.
Waterfall Your Drink
-During Kevin Gnapoor’s entire rap.
-While Coach Karr gives a sex-ed lecture.
Finish Your Drink:
-When someone gets hit by a bus.
And if you just can’t get enough of Mean Girls (same), then you NEED to buy our Mean Girls Halloween costumes. We’ve got two this year: the classic I’m A Mouse Duh that sold tf out last year, and the new Boo You Whore. Buy one, but them both, it doesn’t matter to us. They’re 100% cotton and super soft, so you’ll want to live in them.