Beauty hacks, beauty hacks. I used to love them, until I realized a lot of them are f*cking terrible. Who would have thought that your typical beauty influencer putting deodorant on her face as primer was all for VIEWS and not to help us out?! From making masks with products that we are supposed to digest to whipping up homemade creations and calling it skin care, not all beauty hacks/DIY are good for you! I’ll tell you hacks that are actually worth it another day, but today let me tell you the ones that AIN’T SH*T and are bad for you. Shall we?
1. Tape For Perfect Winged Eyeliner
So many people use this as a beauty hack, because everyone wants a perfect winged liner. This hack used to be the bomb. Sure, it works—but is it good for you? I can’t tell you how many times tape has made my eyes water or smudged my work. On that note, have you ever irritated your eyes because how sharp that f*cking tape is? We put it so close to our eyes!
I also know as humans, we all do our makeup routine differently: I do my face makeup first and the move onto my eyes, but I have seen people do the complete opposite. If you do your eyes first, this might not be an issue, but for me honey, THE TAPE PULLS MY FOUNDATION OFF. Do you know long it takes to become a bad bitch just for this dumb-ass hack to rip it off??
Instead, I figured out that using a business card or an old gift card can give me the same sharp look, without ruining my makeup and making my eyes water. You won’t get my masterpiece snatched away from me! Also, using all that tape is such a waste!
2. Heating Up Your Eyelash Curler With A Blowdryer
We do a lot of things wrong when it comes to our eyes. Heat and your eyes just don’t mix. I know so many people who do this, so maybe I can change someone’s life right now and be an icon. I used to do this, so don’t think I’m just talking sh*t. I have ripped out many an eyelash doing this, and I’ve learned my lesson.
When you heat up a curler with the heat from the blowdryer, you might get a nice curl in the moment, but it’s really just burning your lashes off. Not only is a hot curler bad for your lashes, but it’s also dangerously close to your lids, and your actual eyeballs. Why risk damaging your eyes for lashes that won’t even last? Say you’re sorry to your lashes if you have ever done this, and RIP to the lashes we took for granted and lost along the way.
3. Using Actual Glitter As Eyeshadow
I love sparkles. I love being glittery every time I go out. But do I like using glitter that’s supposed to be used for arts and crafts on my eyelids? No, I don’t, and neither should you. Those little flecks can have incredibly sharp edges, and a piece of non-cosmetic grade glitter can not only scratch your eye, it can possibly damage it or the skin on the underside of the lid.
If you’re putting it anywhere near your face, you should only be using cosmetic-grade glitter. Cosmetic glitter usually has rounded edges, so there’s a much lower risk of problems. I know saving a few bucks seems like a great idea, but it’s better to just invest in a good glitter meant for your eyes instead of possibly damaging them.
4. Using Mouthwash To Remove Dead Skin
Another big trend/beauty hack that went around was using mouthwash to get rid of dead skin. This is so terrible for your skin. I mean, mouthwash literally has alcohol in it! The heavy amount of alcohol in mouthwash can actually cause redness and peeling, and can burn off an entire layer of skin. That in and of itself should prove how terrible it is. There are tons of good ways to get rid of dead skin, but mouthwash is not the answer. Let’s stick to using mouthwash for having good breath and not to damage our skin.
5. The Kylie Jenner Challenge
Now, I’m no doctor, but I can still use common sense to figure out when something isn’t healthy. Remember a few years ago, when the infamous Kylie Challenge was completely viral? Yikes. I never did this challenge, but it’s only because of all of the terrible stories I heard! I saw stories of this hack damaging lips for weeks at a time. By sucking on a bottle to create a vacuum, you could end up with swelling, broken blood vessels, and even cuts on your skin. This challenge/beauty hack was inspired by Kylie, but I don’t fault her for so many people doing it. She even apologized for it becoming viral. Obviously, now we all know that Kylie got lip fillers, and her look had nothing to do with sucking on a Gatorade bottle.
Now I know a lot of people think that this hack went away. Sadly, no. Instead, companies have made specific lip suction cups to do this same hack with. Now, just because it’s not a Gatorade bottle doesn’t mean it’s automatically good for you. It can still damage your lips and skin. Is it worth it? NO!
What’s the bottom line? While some beauty hacks can be helpful, most of the time, you should be using actual beauty products as your beauty products. It’s fun to find other uses for things you have lying around the house, and you might save some money in the short term, but dealing with f*cked up lips, scratched skin, and/or damaged eyes is way less fun.
Images: Malvestida Magazine / Unsplash; Giphy (5)
Ok, so if you’ve ever fallen into the black hole that is internet makeup tutorials (aka all of us), then you’ve probably been exposed to the endless makeup brushes that those 15-year-old YouTube stars use. But which makeup brushes do you actually need? I mean, we love contouring as much as the next betch, and we also enjoy a perfect smoky eye, but do you really need a different brush for your crease, brow bone, and smudging? Not so much. Read on to find out which makeup brushes your vanity can do without, and which ones ACTUALLY need (and where to use them), courtesy of Jane Iredale’s new (and chicly designed) brush collection.
1. Eyeshadow Brush
Jane Iredale’s Chisel Shader Brush is perfect for both powder and cream eyeshadows, and can be used to lay down the eyeshadow from the lash line to the brow bone so you won’t need another brush. The densely packed, short bristles make it easy to build layers of shadow without smudging.
2. Crease Brush
A brush with long, soft bristles helps to blend a multicolored eye look so you don’t end up with streaky raccoon eyes. If you’ve ever seen someone walking around with unblended eyeshadow, you know why a crease brush is necessary.
3. Powder Foundation Brush
If you’re into powder foundations or bronzers, then a long-bristled, flat-topped brush like The Handi Brush can be used to dab on the powder, then buff out after applying. Since the bristles are so dense, you won’t lose or waste makeup in the application process.
4. Liquid Foundation Brush
If you’re a liquid foundation kinda betch, you need a large, rounded, densely packed brush like a Kabuki Brush for an application that you can buff on evenly for the best coverage. Yes, you really do need a different brush for each type of foundation. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.
5. Contour Brush
If you want to properly achieve a transformation as dominant as Kim K’s, then you’re going to need a contour brush (and a lot of other work—but most importantly, a contour brush). The brush also doubles as a blush brush and is really used to enhance any/all features. Contour brushes should be of medium density and have an angled top. Those of you who still haven’t figured out how to contour can save a little money by not bothering with this type of brush.
6. Fan Brush
Ok, so you really only need this brush if you’re obsessed with highlighters. Which, if you’ve read this far into the story, odds are you take angled selfies just to get a glimpse of your glowing highlighter. There’s just something about having shimmering cheeks that makes us feel better about ourselves. A soft, long-bristled, fan-shaped brush should be dabbed into a highlighter and then spread above your cheekbones. If you’re one of those people who doesn’t believe in highlighter and thinks it’s all a scam to get us to buy repackaged eyeshadow, you can skip the fan brush.
7. Angle Liner/Brow Brush
Short, thin, angled brushes like Jane Iredale’s Angle Liner/Brow Brush will help to apply eyeliner and fill in your brows without making you look like Oscar The Grouch. So yeah, you need one of these in your stash.
8. Concealer Brush
A rounded, flat, dense brush with medium to short bristles allows you to apply and blend liquid or cream concealer evenly, and with control so you don’t end up having white rings around your eyes when someone uses the camera’s flash.
It’s Friday, which means I’ll be binge drinking coffee until it’s socially acceptable to switch to wine. Honestly, by the time Friday rolls around I’m literally exhausted. I’ve worked, like, five days in a row and my will to live is about as thin as my coworker’s eyebrows rn. Like, for god’s sake Belinda HELP YOURSELF, I BEG OF YOU. So, yeah, I’ve been V busy this week and really need a nap and/or a vodka soda stat.
And you can guaran-fucking-tee that when 5 o’clock hits it’ll be like a scene out of Cinderella happening in my office. Think bippity boppity boo but more ho. It’s taken me years to perfect the day-to-night beauty look that frequents both my Instagram story and the 3-6 guys I Snapchat between the hours of 9pm and 3am. I feel the only person who can properly convey this transition is Kelly Kapoor aka my #OfficeBFFGoals:
^^^Actual footage of me at 4:59pm
^^^And at 5:01pm
Miracles happen every day Friday, people. And that miracle can happen for you too, so listen up because here are some basic beauty hacks that will take your look from Pam Beesly to Kelly Kapoor before you can say “I’d like to start a tab, please”:
1. Extend Your Eyeliner
Because nothing says “let’s get fucked up” like the girl who walks into a bar rocking a full-on cat eye. This is one of the easiest ways to take your look from “acceptable to be out in public” to “no paparazzi please.” Give yourself an edgier vibe by lining the inner rim and going ham with your mascara.
2. Get Bold With Your Lip Color
I’d like to be clear here, getting bold with your lip color does not mean copying a look you saw on any type of social media story by one of Hollywood’s thirstiest teen stars (looking at you, Ariel Winter). If you do this and I see you at happy hour it will not look good for you on my Snapchat story. That being said, I’m not going to assume what type of Friday night plans you have but I am going to say that your lip game does tell a story. Don’t let that story say “desperate to look like Kylie Jenner.”
3. Invest In Dry Shampoo
A good dry shampoo actually saves lives and why Sephora hasn’t picked up that tagline yet I will never understand. First, it acts as an oil absorber, which we all know you need because you 100% skipped that shower this morning in favor of an extra 15 minutes sleep. And, like, same girl. But the true magic of a dry shampoo is the extra volume it gives your hair. A few spritzes and your hair is showing more life than Nick Viall’s dancing career.
4. Use Blotting Paper
People don’t just wake up looking fresh-faced, there’s actually a whole lot of shit they put on top of their real face to appear “fresh.” And oil-blotting paper is key to that process. Throughout the day your face builds up more oil than a dollar slice and, trust me, no one wants to see that shit at the bar. Swipe an oil-blotting paper like Mac’s Blot Film a few times across your face for a flawless finish that even the fuckboys on your Snap rotation can’t miss.
5. Make Mascara The Real MVP
This one is pretty basic, but then again I’ve also had to spell out why you can’t just dye the roots of your hair all the colors of the rainbow because the internet tells you to, so I guess I’ll spell this one out for you too. Volumizing mascara is a V important part of my smize game and is an essential part of my office to happy hour ho transformation. Be sure to use a long-lasting, smudge resistant mascara to keep your eyes looking beautiful and vibrant even after those four vodka sodas.
Read: The best long-lasting lipsticks that will stay on through all the ratchet shit you do this weekend