Beauty hacks, beauty hacks. I used to love them, until I realized a lot of them are f*cking terrible. Who would have thought that your typical beauty influencer putting deodorant on her face as primer was all for VIEWS and not to help us out?! From making masks with products that we are supposed to digest to whipping up homemade creations and calling it skin care, not all beauty hacks/DIY are good for you! I’ll tell you hacks that are actually worth it another day, but today let me tell you the ones that AIN’T SH*T and are bad for you. Shall we?
1. Tape For Perfect Winged Eyeliner
So many people use this as a beauty hack, because everyone wants a perfect winged liner. This hack used to be the bomb. Sure, it works—but is it good for you? I can’t tell you how many times tape has made my eyes water or smudged my work. On that note, have you ever irritated your eyes because how sharp that f*cking tape is? We put it so close to our eyes!
I also know as humans, we all do our makeup routine differently: I do my face makeup first and the move onto my eyes, but I have seen people do the complete opposite. If you do your eyes first, this might not be an issue, but for me honey, THE TAPE PULLS MY FOUNDATION OFF. Do you know long it takes to become a bad bitch just for this dumb-ass hack to rip it off??
Instead, I figured out that using a business card or an old gift card can give me the same sharp look, without ruining my makeup and making my eyes water. You won’t get my masterpiece snatched away from me! Also, using all that tape is such a waste!
2. Heating Up Your Eyelash Curler With A Blowdryer
We do a lot of things wrong when it comes to our eyes. Heat and your eyes just don’t mix. I know so many people who do this, so maybe I can change someone’s life right now and be an icon. I used to do this, so don’t think I’m just talking sh*t. I have ripped out many an eyelash doing this, and I’ve learned my lesson.
When you heat up a curler with the heat from the blowdryer, you might get a nice curl in the moment, but it’s really just burning your lashes off. Not only is a hot curler bad for your lashes, but it’s also dangerously close to your lids, and your actual eyeballs. Why risk damaging your eyes for lashes that won’t even last? Say you’re sorry to your lashes if you have ever done this, and RIP to the lashes we took for granted and lost along the way.
3. Using Actual Glitter As Eyeshadow
I love sparkles. I love being glittery every time I go out. But do I like using glitter that’s supposed to be used for arts and crafts on my eyelids? No, I don’t, and neither should you. Those little flecks can have incredibly sharp edges, and a piece of non-cosmetic grade glitter can not only scratch your eye, it can possibly damage it or the skin on the underside of the lid.
If you’re putting it anywhere near your face, you should only be using cosmetic-grade glitter. Cosmetic glitter usually has rounded edges, so there’s a much lower risk of problems. I know saving a few bucks seems like a great idea, but it’s better to just invest in a good glitter meant for your eyes instead of possibly damaging them.
4. Using Mouthwash To Remove Dead Skin
Another big trend/beauty hack that went around was using mouthwash to get rid of dead skin. This is so terrible for your skin. I mean, mouthwash literally has alcohol in it! The heavy amount of alcohol in mouthwash can actually cause redness and peeling, and can burn off an entire layer of skin. That in and of itself should prove how terrible it is. There are tons of good ways to get rid of dead skin, but mouthwash is not the answer. Let’s stick to using mouthwash for having good breath and not to damage our skin.
5. The Kylie Jenner Challenge
Now, I’m no doctor, but I can still use common sense to figure out when something isn’t healthy. Remember a few years ago, when the infamous Kylie Challenge was completely viral? Yikes. I never did this challenge, but it’s only because of all of the terrible stories I heard! I saw stories of this hack damaging lips for weeks at a time. By sucking on a bottle to create a vacuum, you could end up with swelling, broken blood vessels, and even cuts on your skin. This challenge/beauty hack was inspired by Kylie, but I don’t fault her for so many people doing it. She even apologized for it becoming viral. Obviously, now we all know that Kylie got lip fillers, and her look had nothing to do with sucking on a Gatorade bottle.
Now I know a lot of people think that this hack went away. Sadly, no. Instead, companies have made specific lip suction cups to do this same hack with. Now, just because it’s not a Gatorade bottle doesn’t mean it’s automatically good for you. It can still damage your lips and skin. Is it worth it? NO!
What’s the bottom line? While some beauty hacks can be helpful, most of the time, you should be using actual beauty products as your beauty products. It’s fun to find other uses for things you have lying around the house, and you might save some money in the short term, but dealing with f*cked up lips, scratched skin, and/or damaged eyes is way less fun.
Images: Malvestida Magazine / Unsplash; Giphy (5)
I don’t think it’s exactly a hot take to say that we probably all spend too much money on unnecessary sh*t we don’t need (like when your mom gives you $40 and you immediately go and spend it… plus $60 more… on online shopping). Beauty in particular is one area in life where it’s super easy to overspend. It seems like nowadays, there’s a hyperspecific beauty product for every single minute part of your body and face. Like, we have eye primer and lip primer and face primer, which are (supposedly) all different things that are not interchangeable. Let’s cut to the chase—the makeup industry is full of unnecessary products… products that I’ve purchased and own. But, save yourself! SAVE YOUR MONEY. Here are some useless beauty products you can cut out of your life.
1. Foundation Brush
I own a few. Not sure why, though. To be completely honest, I stopped using foundation brushes when I discovered beauty sponges. Now, those are a MIRACLE. I hate streaky foundation because, well, who likes streaky foundation? A beauty sponge evens out my makeup and leaves it seamless. Everyone talks about foundation brushes and how they are amazing, but beauty sponges are cheaper and do the job just as well. Throw away your “foundation” brushes, and move on, ladies. They are toxic. End your relationship and start dating a beauty sponge.
BEAUTYBLENDER beautyblender® nude
2. Waterproof Mascara
I’m confused on what the point of a waterproof mascara truly is, unless (god forbid) you’re attending a funeral. Why would you want it to last? How long do you want it to last? Did you know leaving mascara on for an extended period of time damages your lashes? If you leave it on for more than your normal day job, you’re destroying your lashes. It’s a fact! You also have to use a makeup remover that will get that type of product off. It’s WATERPROOF. Do you think washing your face with water like normal people do will take it off? No, sweetie. Get yourself a regular-degular mascara and call it a day.
Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara
3. Brow Gel
As some of you may know, I am a beauty guru, and one of the perks of being a beauty guru includes receiving PR PACKAGES! It’s like Christmas every day! Brands love to send products to us, and duh, of course I’m going to try them out! One day, I used a brow gel I received in a PR package and I used it every time I got done doing my brows because well, I GOT IT FOR FREE, WHY WOULDN’T I? Then I came to the realization that if I didn’t get it sent to me for free, would I purchase it in stores? No. Girl, the answer is no. It’s pointless. It genuinely does nothing to my eyebrows but add a little more color. But uh, so does my eye brow pencil and some Vaseline/eyelash serum/clear lipgloss. Use that.
4. Bronzer
BRONZEEEEER! OH MAN! I’m gonna keep this one short, sweet, and simple. Invest in a contour palette. The colors in the contour palette are almost identical to your bronzer shades. Just use your contour palette and bronze with those colors. Remember, bronzer is for giving color to the face and contour is for giving definition to the face. Switch from your contour brush to your bronzer brush and go off, sis.
ANASTASIA BEVERLY HILLS Contour Powder Kit
5. Mini Mascara
Even more so than waterproof mascara, this is the most pointless mascara to invest in. People use mini mascara for the wand because it is specifically made to get into your bottom lashes. Can I be real here? DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY ON THIS PRODUCT! Just use your regular mascara wand. Trust me, it works just as well. It worked before it was a thing and it works now.
MAYBELLINE Volum’ Express The Falsies Mascara
6. Lipstick Primer
We need a primer to paint a house, even a car. But not for your lips. Lipstick primer is another waste of your money. It’s all about the formula. If you find a good lipstick with a solid formula, then you’re good to go. Do you want a matte lip? Test out formulas that work best for you. A lot of people automatically jump to conclusions when their lipstick starts coming off when they eat. “It said it was matte! Why is it coming off?!” Most foods have an oil of some sort, and oil will break up any type of lip product you have. I think any lip primer is pointless. Your lipstick is going to come off eventually and that is okay. It’s a lipstick, not a lip stain!
Stila Stay All Day Liquid Lipstick
7. Moisturizer
The only time I use moisturizer is when I wake up and before I rest my pretty head to sleep. But before my makeup? Na. POINTLESS. I know so many beauty gurus who have publicly put online that they use a moisturizer before they prime for their makeup. But why? Why not use a primer that is hydrating and will do the same job? Remember, primer is the first base you set on your face. It’s supposed to stick to your face so your makeup lasts longer. So if you moisturize before then, it’s not being applied directly on your skin, which is defeating the whole purpose of PRIMER. If you find a hydrating primer, that will do the job perfectly and save you from wasting a moisturizer. Its a 2-in-1. Take my advice!
One word: USELESS. All 7 of these beauty products are USELESS. We don’t need them. Don’t feel bad that you wasted your money on them, though. Sometimes we get so caught up in thinking we need certain items to make us look poppin’, but the truth is, we already are poppin’. So let’s save, and spend on beauty products that actually work.
Images: Jake Peterson / Unsplash; Glossier; Amazon; Sephora (3); Ulta (2)
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I’m not a morning person by any means, so waking up anytime before 1pm 11am honestly crushes my soul. Not sure what asshole made 9-5’s a thing, but I’d like to change that please. Until those dreams become a reality, I still have to go to work and wake up at soul-crushing hours, but if I can afford an extra minute of sleep, I’m def going to hit the snooze button five consecutive times maybe once or twice. This means rushing out the door yet still looking like a functioning member of society who gets more than six hours of sleep and doesn’t “forget” to wash her hair a couple times a week. Since half-assing my makeup makes me look like I got ready while drunk and I’d rather have a Starbucks barista fuck up my coffee than finish my makeup on the subway, I’ve learned how to condense my routine and find shortcuts to perfecting my contour without wasting 30 minutes. Here are the tricks I have up my sleeve to help you get ready much faster.
1. Make Dry Shampoo Your BFF
Yes, it’s true. By Friday, my hair is approximately 68% dry shampoo. If you know what’s good for you, then you know a good dry shampoo will save your life, one spray at a time. If you wake up early enough for a morning shower—first of all, you’re already winning—skip the whole shampoo-conditioner-blow dry thing, and use some dry shampoo to soak up any oily, greasy shit in your hair. Comb your fingers through and give it a good shake for extra volume and body. Blowout or just good dry shampoo? No one will tell the difference.
2. Contour Using A Kabuki Or All-In-One Brush
Unless you’re a makeup artist or an Instagram thot aspiring beauty vlogger, nobody has the fucking time to use 100 brushes for contouring when you’re on a time crunch. It’s just not possible and it’s too time-consuming for anyone’s good. Instead, opt for a simple kabuki brush (my fave is the E.L.F Ultimate Kabuki Brush) or a multi-purpose brush like the BECCA The One Perfecting Brush. Rub it in your bronzer and starting at your hairline, work it onto your face by making a “3” on both sides. Don’t forget to blend in entirely or you’ll look like a fucking idiot with 3’s on your face. When I hit my rock bottom started following Kim K on Snapchat, she shared this beauty secret and I’ve used it ever since. And people say she doesn’t have a talent.
3. Skip Highlighter, Use Lighter Concealer
Applying highlighter doesn’t even really take up that much time, but it’s still an extra step you don’t really need. Instead of making a glittery mess, get a concealer that’s at least a shade lighter than your usual color. Apply it before foundation to hide those corpse-looking bags under your eyes and along your cheekbones to really make them glow. The light contrast will give you the same wide-awake, refreshed look you need to look like a human at work.
4. Ain’t Nobody Got Time For Mistakes AKA Liquid Eyeliner
In the time of a crisis, aka missing the last possible train before running late (again), we’ll need to forfeit a winged eye. This is only acceptable during Monday-Thursday because Fridays are when we take the office glow to happy hour hoe and with that, we’ll need winged eyeliner. But for the rest of the week, skip that shit. In place of liquid eyeliner because that’s just too much of a risk, use a nude eyeshadow as your base. After that, make a thin line where you’d use eyeliner with a dark eyeshadow shade. Or, honestly, just skip eyeliner altogether if it’s unnecessary there’s no cute guys in your office.
5. Use Mascara For Both Your Eyebrows And Your Lashes
If you haven’t made a trip to your eyebrow lady and you also know filling them in takes 2,000 years, buy a colored mascara (brown, brown-black, whatever) to fix this struggle. Shade in your eyebrows with the mascara brush, which gets the job done and still makes them look natural. Then, load up on your lashes to kill two birds with one stone.
6. Put On Some Lipstick And You’re Good To Go, Betch
Lastly, to really complete your look and fool everyone into thinking you woke up extra early to slave over your makeup for hours, put on a bright red lipstick or your fave nude pink to finish it off. A red lip is perf for a boss-ass bitch going into work and it looks good on everyone, so honestly so you can’t go wrong. For something more subtle, apply a natural-looking nude pink as you head out the door and you’ll look as put-together as you ever will for the next 8 hours. See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?
You would think that slapping orange and bright red blush on your cheeks would be a surefire way to make yourself look like a clown, but by some makeup miracle, there are many weird blush colors out there that actually don’t look heinous on your skin. In fact, some colors that you would instinctually throw across the room and set fire to before you would put them on your face, actually look pretty when they are applied. As long as you know which ones to get. Let the following be your guide.
1. Copper
Copper blush is like the halfway point between bronzer and blush. Apply something like NYX’s Copper powder blush on the apples of your cheeks and on your temples to look like you weren’t scowling in a cubicle all week and actually got outside.
2. Lilac
If you’re fair-skinned, lilac will show up on your skin as a kind of cool-toned pale pink. It can make you look instantly icy/rude, and for that it’s great. MAC Blush in Sketch should do the trick.
3. Plum
If you’re tanner (jealous), plums and deep magentas will have the same effect mentioned above. Blush Subtil by Lancôme in Plum Charm works like yeah, a motherfucking charm.
4. Orange
Orange hues tend to warm up your complexion the same way getting a lot of sun, or wearing the correct bronzer, does. Clinique Cheek Pop Blush in Melon Pop has the most annoying name you may ever hear, but the vibrance and life it brings to your otherwise sad and dull face helps you forget that fact.
5. Red
Red blush can go from 0 to WTF real quick, but if you use a small amount and remain light-handed, it can give you the most natural, didn’t-even-try-hard color. Try Exhibit A Blush by Nars, but just make sure to use a large brush when applying—unless you want to appear sunburned, and in that case, you do you (but stay away from me).
