All The Times Kanye West Gave Kris Jenner A Heart Attack This Year

It’s Kanye West’s birthday! The world’s most controversial rapper/Kardashian husband turns 41 this year, and I honestly don’t even know where to start. We’ve known Kanye is an asshole for many years, but personally I’ve never really cared. He makes great music, and I’ve never met a Taylor Swift hater I didn’t get along with. Unfortunately, in the past few months, Kanye has gone off the deep end even more than before. He’s never been, like, the most coherent guy, but yikes. So to commemorate Kanye’s 40th trip around the sun, let’s look back at some of his greatest hits from the past year. Seriously, Kris Jenner’s blood pressure has probably never been higher.

The Donald Trump Shit

Just gotta start out with the elephant in the room here. At the end of April, Kanye popped off with a multitude of Trump-supporting tweets that ranged from confusing to “I WANT TO LIGHT MY PHONE ON FIRE.” For me, the personal low point was the photo of his Make America Great Again hat, personally signed by Prez Trump, but there were many other awful tweets to go along with it. He also posted his personal texts with John Legend, which really just made everyone love John more and roll their eyes even harder at Kanye. Kris Jenner definitely made several angry phone calls about this.

The “Poopity Scoop” Song

In the midst of his Trump-fueled shame spiral on Twitter, Kanye suddenly dropped a new song called “Lift Yourself.” The song is…fucking awful. There are basically no actual lyrics, and the only rapping Kanye does is some gibberish that sounds like a 2-year-old who just learned what the word poop means. It’s bad. Luckily, Kanye’s actual album turned out to be way better than this and have some actual lyrics, but I can guarantee Kris Jenner was stressed out about this song.

“Siri, what the fuck does poopity scoop mean?”

Wyoming

As opposed to everything else on this list, this isn’t really a scandal at all. That being said, you can bet that Kris Jenner still had a meltdown when she found out that Kanye (and therefore Kim and the kids) would be spending months hanging out in Wyoming, our least populous state. Kris is most comfortable in a Calabasas mansion, so the thought of anywhere that’s not behind gates is probably pretty terrifying for her. Also, she always acts like she’s being personally punished whenever any of her kids spend time away from LA. Calm down Kris, everything will be fine.

The Rhymefest Feud

A couple weeks ago, Kim Kardashian West went rogue on her Twitter about some beef between Kanye and this producer Rhymefest from Chicago. The drama was all about the charity Donda’s House that Rhymefest runs, which Kanye used to be a major part of. Kanye has stopped donating to the charity, and Rhymefest decided to change the name of the organization. Kim tweeted all kinds of savage things at Rhymefest, and tbh she ended up looking pretty psycho and petty. Also, why did Kanye let Kim do his dirty work on Twitter? This feud is dumb as fuck, and I imagine Kris Jenner was definitely more than a little exasperated when she saw Kim’s tweets.

The Canceled Fashion Show

People love to mock Kanye’s YEEZY clothing brand for basically being expensive rags, but some people love it, I guess. Kanye caused many headaches last year when he canceled his New York Fashion Week show just one week in advance. No explanation was ever given for the disappearance of YEEZY SEASON 6, but there were lots of people who had already signed contracts to work the event. In addition, the Kardashians missed out on one of their prime appearances, because they usually make quite a scene at the show. Kris probably had a good stress cry because of this, considering she had probably already booked all the private flights and hotel rooms. Life is hard as a momager.

Happy birthday Kanye, lmk if you need help deactivating your Twitter account. Kris Jenner’s nerves could really use a break.

Images: @kanyewest / Twitter; Giphy; @kimkardashian / Twitter

 

John Legend Hopped In On The Kanye West Twitter Drama

Kanye West has lost his fucking mind in the last few days. Okay, to be fair, he may have lost his mind long ago, but this week’s Trump-loving Twitter rampage has made it apparently clear that our favorite genius is problematic and unstable. We’ve already gotten Kim Kardashian’s take on her husband’s tweets, but we’re still waiting to hear from lots of Kanye’s famous friends. Luckily, John Legend stepped up to the plate, and there’s a lot to unpack here.

Starting on Wednesday, John Legend started tweeting about his friend Kanye’s trash political views, but in a tasteful way that didn’t come across like a straight up drag. John went for my personal favorite internet format: the thought-provoking tweet thread. Without ever mentioning Kanye by name, he wrote about how people with privilege can’t just ignore racism and injustice and hope it goes away.

I imagine there's some comfort in imagining a future without racism and projecting that onto the present. Thinking if we just deny the truth, it doesn't exist. If history is erased, we don't have to deal with its consequences. However…

— John Legend (@johnlegend) April 25, 2018

John Legend also added after his masterful thread that you can’t really just say you like Trump but aren’t into racism. “The defining trait of Trump’s campaign and political profile was his embrace of white supremacy. He made it clear every time he spoke. Some serious cognitive dissonance to ignore that for the other x% you might find appealing. I guess I agree with >1% of anyone’s thoughts though.” This is so accurate on every level. Like, there are a lot of shitty people who like bottomless brunch just as much as I do, but that doesn’t mean I actually want to go to brunch with them. No racists allowed at my brunch reservation!

Because John Legend is obviously a solid friend, he reached out to Kanye about his views. And, because Kanye is in the sunken place the mood to tweet literally anything, we have the screenshots.

pic.twitter.com/L9a7OeywJ6

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) April 26, 2018

Okay, first of all, John Legend is being literally so nice. He fully just called Kanye “the greatest artist of our generation,” and he is also an artist who would probably like to be the greatest. Meanwhile, Kanye sounds like a doomsday prepper who’s probably hours away from building a Kimmy Schidt-style underground bunker. Seriously, what is going on in this man’s mind?

pic.twitter.com/zxcloMEj9I

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) April 26, 2018

Again, look at John Legend being an actual angel and bringing up good old fashioned concepts like empathy. And then, showing that he’s truly learned something from being married to Twitter queen Chrissy Teigen, he spots a golden opportunity to plug his latest single. Solid move, especially considering that I had no clue there was a new John Legend song *saves on Spotify*. Kanye seems very much not in the mood to accept advice from anyone, but maybe the wisdom of John Legend will embed somewhere deep in his brain. It might be our only hope at this point.

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Images: @johnlegend / Twitter; @kanyewest / Twitter (2)