If there’s one thing Netflix is great at, it’s creating outlandish reality dating shows starring hot people who just! can’t! seem! to find love. While some series are more geared toward sex (*cough* Too Hot to Handle) others, like Love is Blind, are supposed to help these poor, painfully attractive people find what they’ve been searching for:
social media followers their soul mates. And in what might be the most dramatic twist in reality show history, Love is Blind season 2 did just that. In fact, when ranking the Love is Blind: After the Altar couples, it’s clear there might actually be some real connections here… just maybe not the ones you expected.
ICYMI, After the Altar — which hit Netflix on Sept. 16 — showcases three 45ish-minute episodes that follow *most* of the couples/singles seen in season 2. I say most because head villain Abhishek Chatterjee (Shake) was noticeably absent. Whether he wanted to stick to his “everyone else is cloud-chasing” narrative or he simply wasn’t invited after his awkward Love is Blind reunion appearance, the jury’s out.
Shake aside, the brief glimpse at life post pods gives a clear look at which duos were worth the emotional investment this season. Ranked from worst to best, here’s our rundown of the After the Altar couples. Major spoilers ahead so consider this your one and only warning to take a sick day and catch up if you’re behind.
9. Shayne and Natalie
Leading up to the wedding it seemed like Shayne and Natalie might actually work. They were complete opposites — a rom-com tradition — and they appeared to at least like each other, which is more than you can say for some other on-screen pairings. Things went downhill, though, when Shayne got drunk the night before their wedding and said some pretty sh*tty things to Natalie (like, that he hated her, just to give you an idea).
Clearly, Natalie saying “no” at the altar was a good idea because hi, talk about spotting a huuuuuge red flag. But alcohol-fueled fights aside, this couple is still the epitome of messy after the altar. Naturally, they did the break-up-get-back-together dance multiple times before Natalie officially called it quits upon finding some scandy messages from (who else?) Shaina in Shayne’s DMs. The guy you gave a second chance to texting his ex? How disappointingly unoriginal.
Everyone except Natalie denied the messages exist, of course, but it was still a crucial plot point of the three-episode special, as is the fact that Shayne and Natalie obviously aren’t over each other. What makes this duo the worst isn’t their breakup, though, but it’s the fact that their relationship lowkey looks like every failed one we’ve ever had. A guy who gets mean when he’s drunk and (allegedly) lies about DMing other girls? C’mon, Netflix. We’re here for fun reality, not reality reality.
8. Jarrette and Iyanna
The only reason this couple isn’t ranked the worst is because Iyanna definitely liked the idea of being married to Jarette. I mean, she put up with every literal f*ck boy trait he exhibited in the name of the experiment, so there’s that. Truthfully, though, I don’t know if two people were ever less suited for each other. Jarrette loves to touch Iyanna; Iyanna doesn’t like being groped so much. Jarrette gives oddly wet kisses; Iyanna doesn’t like that much spit. Jarrette parties with his boys until the literal morning multiple times a week; Iyanna thinks that’s not cool because she’s an adult human with responsibilities and shows to binge.
That’s why it was a surprise to absolutely no one when Iyanna revealed she moved out of the couple’s shared apartment. The major twist, though, was when Iyanna admitted she never really had a direct talk with Jarrette about his actions. Now I’m no relationship therapist, but communication is kind of essential in a marriage, no? I mean, what do you get when you mix an extroverted party boy with an introvert who runs away from confrontation (all while giggling nervously)? A divorce, in this couple’s case. The pair announced their split in August, which is probably great for all involved, especially the bars Jarette frequents in Chicago.
7. Nick and Danielle
As the first duo to get engaged in the pods, Nick and Danielle were one of those couples that either made you smile or made you squirm. While their eight-year age difference was A Thing at first, post-wedding it looked like they found their groove. These two weirdos couldn’t stop talking about the themed parties they hosted together (THEY’RE FUN, OKAY?!), and for a minute, we almost forgot how controlling Nick could be. I mean, he got along with her family, and the pair loved hanging out with cast members to gossip about other cast members, just like a real married couple!
But — and here’s the thing only three rewatches in 24 hours will get you — there were signs, people. From the stiff body language to the lack of ease in conservation and this glint in Nick’s eyes when things weren’t going his way, things seemed off in a maybe scary way? If you’ve read literally any book involving a woman looking out a window, you know what I’m talking about. It wasn’t until the scene where Danielle tried to feed Nick sushi blindfolded, though, that the couple’s future split was evident. They also announced they were separating in August, and I think we should all thank that over-sauced sashimi for setting Danielle free.
6. Shaina and Kyle
If you completely forgot that season 2’s villain lite Shaina and nice guy Kyle were once engaged, you’re not alone. Their storyline lasted for approximately five minutes before Shaina literally left a free trip to Mexico because they didn’t mesh. It mostly came down to differing religious views (not to mention a clear lack of chemistry), but neither of them seemed remotely sad that their coupling didn’t last. Their relationship was brought up like, twice, in After the Altar, and they were both completely nonchalant about it.
Truthfully, Shaina and Kyle hover in the middle of our listing simply because they bring a lot to the reality table as individuals, even if their initial pairing together felt like a joke. Plus, these two did end up in relationships at the end of After the Altar, so clearly casting was on to something when they put them in the pods.
5. Shaina and Christos
The first new face of the season came in the form of Shaina’s now-husband, Christos. The couple got engaged on After the Altar, and Shaina wasted no time flashing her engagement ring at Natalie’s 30th birthday party—a classic mean girl move you just have to admire. Cattiness aside, Christos actually showed an impressive level of devotion when Danielle told the just-engaged couple about the swirling Shaina-Shayne DMs rumors. Instead of getting pissed or questioning his bride, Christos steadfastly had Shaina’s back. Whether or not he should is another story, but hey, at least her man is loyal!
The couple officially tied the knot in Greece this summer, and while you can’t determine much from the little bit of airtime their relationship got in After the Altar, Christos is an obvious catch. He’s a developer and restaurant owner, he’s got those mythical Greek looks, and he said he was first attracted to the sound of his wife’s voice (which is likely something not many other people can say). While Shaina might not be your favorite, this duo somehow seems pretty solid as a couple…for now, at least.
4. Mallory and Salv(ador)
Everyone knew from the start that Mal and Sal weren’t going to last, but as two relatively respectable, quieter people, they didn’t have a ton of drama throughout the show. That doesn’t make them bad, but for watchability purposes, it doesn’t make them good either. Other than some issues when Mallory and Jarrette had a moment in Mexico, these two were basically just the ill-suited ukulele couple.
Truthfully, the pair really only got interesting in After the Altar, which is why they’re ranked so high. Mallory showed more emotion in three episodes than she did the entire first part season, tearing up over the way her relationship ended. In fact, she said the experience made her recognize the walls she puts up to protect herself, so she started going to therapy. We love to see some personal growth! What made things really interesting, though, was when Sal brought his new girlfriend, Jessi, to Natalie’s birthday party. It was like a weekend getaway from hell for Mallory watching her ex make out with someone new. For a couple who provided very little entertainment before the altar, the Sallory drama officially had my attention after the “I don’ts.”
3. Salv(ador) and Jessi
Attempting to turn his “guy who plays the uke” typecast around, Sal might just be the most changed cast member of season 2. There’s so much to love about his evolution, from the savage confession that he was right not to marry Mallory to bringing his new girlfriend, Jessi with an “i”, to a weekend-long, pod squad-only getaway. And uh, speaking of Jessi, if you were straight watching the show, you have to at least be bi-curious after seeing Sal’s new boo.
According to Sal, Jessi is a “firecracker,” and according to viewers (it’s me, I’m viewers), she’s a living, breathing, crop top-wearing 10. Not only is she bold and loud and unapologetically sexy, but she appeared to be rubbing off on Sal. Case in point: While everyone else showed up to Nick and Danielle’s ‘80s party in tights and bodysuits, Jassi (Jessador?) arrived in full leather getups and joked about leaving the whip in the bedroom. Considering this was a guy who once serenaded an uninterested girl with a miniature-looking guitar, this is a major glow-up for season 2’s sweetie pie. After the Altar ended with Sal showing his siblings a ring and saying he wanted to marry Jessi, which feels fast but hey, if he doesn’t lock her down, someone else will. Go get her, bb.
2. Deepti and Kyle
The rumored will-they won’t-they pair finally is, and the world is a brighter, happier, more love-filled place. After the Altar showed Deepti and Kyle navigating a situationship-style friendship before agreeing to be an ~official~ couple in the final moments. Even though they didn’t get engaged on the show, they were actually pretty close to it before they each made comically wrong choices in the name of love (read: Shake and Shaina).
Still, it all worked out because these two proved the friends-to-lovers trope forever reigns supreme. If anything made watching a series of failed relationships worth it, it was the way Kyle kept kissing Deepti when she agreed to be his girlfriend. They both said this could be a forever kind of thing, so if all goes well, there just might be another season 2 LiB wedding in the making.
1. Shake and Deepti
Hear me out: In terms of being good together, Shake and Deepti were like fire and Moira Rose’s wig wall. Deeps was all in, while Shake just couldn’t stop talking about how *not* attracted to her he was. After he finally came around and saw what was in front of him, though, I think the entire world screamed with joy when Deepti left Shake at the altar.
So why are they the best couple? First, Shake spoke the truth in regard to the fact that everyone goes on LiB for fame. Like, I’m sorry, you’re not going to reality show auditions if you DGAF about followers, no matter how genuine you seem. But more than that, Shake’s sh*ttiness truly gave viewers the chance to cheer Deepti on. She went from being a woman who wasn’t appreciated to a role model of boundaries, independence, and self-worth. Plus, in the end, she got the hottest guy on the show and over a million followers on Instagram. If that’s not what true love stories are made of, I don’t know what is.
Images: Patrick Wymore, Adam Rose, Adrian S. Burrows Sr./Netflix; Courtesy of Netflix (9). Featured image courtesy of Getty Images.
Netflix wants us to believe they created the secret recipe to lasting love on Love Is Blind—lasting love found on a reality show, that is. But not every duo on the second season of Netflix’s reality dating show will last the test of time. Here are our official rankings of which couples have what it takes to make it to the altar and past the end of the reunion. Mild spoilers ahead if you haven’t started the series, but like, catch up.
Shaina and Kyle
We can’t lie, we’re seeing a perfect future for these two. White picket fence, golden retriever, 2.5 kids, the full American Dream, y’all! Just kidding. You have to really not be feeling someone to leave an all-expenses-paid trip to Mexico, but that’s just what Shaina did. Netflix even gave Shaina her own hotel room and she still chose to leave—in her bathrobe, no less.
Kyle did not give up, though, and even went to meet Shaina’s family before she officially broke things off because he wasn’t “godly” enough for her. There is no hope of reconciliation for these two. So, ladies of Chicago, if you’re looking for a burly man who is willing to put differing religious views aside, probably to his own detriment, Kyle’s DMs are open.
Mallory and Salvador
Sallory, Malvador, there are so many great couple names for these two. But that’s about all they’ve got. In the pods, Mallory chose Sal over Jarrette. But after accepting Sal’s proposal, things went downhill. Upon meeting face-to-face, Mallory was not attracted to Sal and we all felt it, even Sal.
In Mexico, things got awkward when Jarrette and Mallory saw each other for the first time. Sal saw the sparks fly between his fiancée and another man, but Mallory assured Sal that she wanted him. And we really want to believe Mallory. But no matter how many times Sal pulls out the ukulele, this just ain’t it. We don’t see these two saying yes at the altar—or, rather, we don’t see one of them saying yes. Mallory can’t keep lying to herself that Sal is the one. And love might be blind, but Sal is not. And he can see his fiancée does not want to marry him.
Shayne and Natalie
They do say opposites attract, and it is very safe to say these two are opposites. Shayne’s limitless enthusiasm is an interesting match to Natalie’s quiet wit, but they saw something we’re not sure we did.
Post-proposal, they quickly worked through some communication issues. Shayne’s love language is clearly words of affirmation, so Natalie learned she must vocalize how hot she thinks Shayne is several times a day. Back in the real world, they also faced the wrath of Shaina, who tried, unsuccessfully, to tear them apart. Jessica who?
Obstacles have been overcome, but do they have what it takes to make it long-term? We give them a soft maybe. Shayne is a puppy who needs constant attention and Natalie gives off cat lady vibes with her sarcastic humor. We want these two to prove us wrong, but while opposites attract, they don’t necessarily sustain lifelong partnerships.
Nick and Danielle
First off, let’s all give Nick a round of applause for being the gossip of the season. This man loves to spill tea, and we are here for it. But now to the couple.
Nick and Danielle were the first proposal we watched in the pods. He was awkward and nerdy. She opened up about her body issues and anxieties. It was beautiful. But shortly after consummating their engagement in Mexico—in Nick’s words, “twice, in three different places”— their issues started. Danielle’s omnipresent anxieties and trust issues, Nick’s need for control, and an 8-year age gap led to many a tough conversation.
Nick wants to stay in and alphabetize his DVDs. Danielle is too young to own DVDs. But even with their differences, these two dweebs really love each other. We could see a future for them, if they continue to compromise and work on their trust issues. But, judging by his grimace and sweat levels, there is a strong possibility Nick says no at the altar, and Danielle goes home alone to her closet full of food-themed costumes.
Jarrette and Iyanna
No one wants to come in second. And Iyanna was technically Jarrette’s second choice after Mallory turned him down. But we must move past that because these two get an A+ in chemistry. They can’t keep their hands off each other. They’re playful. And we’ve watched them work through some tough issues and have some raw conversations.
However, at home, the differences in their personalities emerged. Iyanna wants to stay in binging shows and cuddling on the couch. And Jarrette wants to go out, like really go out. But Jarrette, hear us when we say, no one needs to go out until 3am three times a week. Who has the stamina for that?
If Jarrette can stop living his bachelor lifestyle and Iyanna can get past Jarrette’s initial connection with Mallory, their love will carry them to their wedding day and beyond. We have high hopes for a long-lasting love affair here.
Shake and Deepti
Somebody give the Love Is Blind producers an Emmy for their editing of Shake. He was impossible to like at first. Somehow, he found a way to ask every woman her body size within the first five minutes of meeting them in the pods. Sir, the show is called Love Is Blind. Literally, go on any other dating show if you want to see a woman’s body before proposing.
But Deepti—Deeps, as Shake calls her—tore down his walls. And with the help of Deeps, Shake had more character development in the pods than Harry Potter did in all seven books.
Their initial face-to-face meeting was powerful. Shake grabbed Deeps’ ass and she was here for it. But then something changed. Shake loves this woman. She pushes him to be better, supports his career ambitions, makes him laugh, but—as he literally will not stop telling people, on camera no less—he is not physically attracted to her. And Deeps, who is literally oozing confidence and sex appeal, wants to be wanted. She wants a man that will grab her ass within five seconds of seeing each other for the first time. As should anyone!
Very hot take incoming, but I think these two can figure it out, they just need to get a little weird together: invest in some toys, try a little role play. They are built to last and will figure out how to figure each other out in the bedroom—or out of the bedroom. Get weird, you two!
Vanessa and Nick Lachey
We know they didn’t meet in the pods, but they are a couple on the show so it’s fair game. The Lacheys are completely unnecessary to the show; Love Is Blind doesn’t need one host, let alone two, for the audience to understand what’s going on. This is evidenced by the fact that Nick and Vanessa are shown like, four times the whole season just to reiterate that the premise is, in fact, “To prove if love is really blind!”
But in the combined seven-and-a-half minutes of screentime, we got what we needed to believe in their love story. It could also be argued their decade-long marriage and three children are enough proof of their successful love story. Again, we must repeat that they are totally unnecessary to the show, but we are here for the Lacheys! So, we hope they take this Netflix paycheck to the bank and live happily ever after.
Images: AARÓN ORTEGA (2), Patrick Wymore/NETFLIX; Courtesy of Netflix