In these dark times, it can feel like there’s not a lot to look forward to, but today there’s a bright spot amid the darkness: Lindsay Lohan’s musical comeback has finally begun. On Friday, she released “Back To Me,” her first song since 2008, and aside from buying a $15 drink at a crowded bar, there’s nothing I could have wanted more right now.
This isn’t the first time Lindsay has teased a revival of her music career. Back in September of 2019, she posted a new song on YouTube called “Xanax,” along with a bizarre music video on Instagram. I was low-key obsessed with the song, but Lindsay quickly deleted it from every platform. “Xanax” is still floating around on the internet, but sadly, it didn’t become a number-one hit, and I can’t even add it to my Spotify playlists.
But this time, Lindsay seems like she’s back for real. She first announced her new single on Instagram a few days ago, with a short audio clip. In the post, Lindsay shared the meaning of her new song, making it sound pretty personal. In the caption, she says “the song is about rediscovering and accepting oneself, shutting out the noise and moving forward and letting the past go. Living in the now.” Sounds deep! From that description, you’d think that Lindsay wrote a song about her tumultuous life, and getting to a better place, right?
Well, the song came out last night, and because I’m weird, the first thing I did was look at the song credits on Spotify. I was curious what writers and producers she’s working with, but I was surprised at what I found. Turns out, Lindsay didn’t write the song! And I don’t mean she didn’t write it alone—she doesn’t even have a songwriting credit at all! One of the writers, ALMA, was also featured on “Xanax,” so at least it seems like they have a good working relationship. Whatever, love this personal journey of singing someone else’s song for her.
So I won’t bother getting into a detailed lyrical breakdown, because Lindsay Lohan probably doesn’t even have all the lyrics memorized herself, but let’s talk about the song in general. Basically, I’m obsessed with it. The lyrics are nothing special anyway, but it’s a total bop, and her voice actually sounds really good, and not too AutoTuned. It’s the perfect catchy club song, with an EDM-lite vibe that’s probably already being remixed by 1000 different producers. Whenever we can start going out again, I can’t wait to hear this song three times an hour at literally every gay bar in America. At this point, Lindsay probably won’t hit the top of the charts, but the gays will give her the support she needs.
So far, Lindsay hasn’t given us too many details about her music career 2.0, but in a New Year’s Eve interview with Andy Cohen, she did say she would be focusing on music in 2020. I’m hoping that means we’re getting an album, but releasing “Xanax” for real would be a great start. I don’t know if I see an acting career for Lindsay Lohan at this point, but music feels like the perfect lane for her right now. People forget how great some of Lindsay’s old music is (“Rumors” is iconic), but it’s time we start putting some respect on her name.
Images: Slaven Vlasic / Stringer; lindsaylohan / Instagram; Spotify
Lindsay Lohan is in kind of a weird place. After being one of the biggest movie stars of the early 2000s, she’s all but been banished to pursue random AF careers in the Middle East. After several years of failed relationships and business ventures (remember her candle line? Neither do I), what does she still have? Tbh, 2019 has been a rough year for her. Her club in Mykonos has closed, she lost her reality show along with it, and she was tragically not cast as Ariel in the live action Little Mermaid, despite her thirsty attempts on Twitter. But now, she’s finally making a return to something she was actually good at once upon a time: music.
Earlier this month, Lindsay Lohan released her first song in over a decade, and it’s kind of a bop. It’s called “Xanax,” which makes sense, because artists are always told to sing about what they know. The track was written with Finnish singer-songwriter ALMA, (who’s low-key one of my favorite artists), who has also co-written most of Miley Cyrus’ recent songs. No, Miley didn’t write “Slide Away” by herself on a yacht in Positano, that’s not how pop music works.
“Xanax” has a slow-burning tropical vibe, and the lyrics seem like they’re ripped straight from Lindsay’s life. She sings about how going out gives her social anxiety, but whoever she’s singing about is like Xanax to her. The lyrics are actually a little heartbreaking, because I tend to forget how much sh*t Lindsay Lohan has gone through in her life. She’s never had a normal life, and she’s obviously kind of f*cked up because of it (as many child stars are). Sadly, Lindsay hasn’t put the song on iTunes or any streaming services, but I would definitely have it on my Sad Boi Fall playlist.
Basically, I’m really vibing with the song, but the music video that Lindsay Lohan posted on IGTV yesterday is… different. First of all, it’s not really a music video. As Lindsay describes it in the caption, it’s “a compilation of vignettes of life.” Okay, so really this has more in common with a bat mitzvah montage than the kind of videos Taylor Swift and Beyoncé are making. She also tagged the wrong ALMA in the caption, because of course. Whatever, she hasn’t done this whole music thing in a long time, so I’ll cut her some slack.
In the bat mitzvah montage, we see random men skateboarding, heavily filtered selfie videos of Lindsay (seriously, that yellow filter is a crime), a still photo of Lindsay with the Ken Burns effect, and a lot of footage of Lindsay shaking hands with with men in suits and women wearing head coverings in a place that looks like a desert. While the whole thing feels really disjointed, I desperately need to know more about these people Lindsay is meeting with in a parking lot. Are these foreign dignitaries? Refugees she’s screamed at? Dictator princes that Lindsay might potentially be dating? I have so many questions.
And then, the video ends with a random man in a hoodie talking about how “Becky is such a bitch.” WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? WHO IS THIS MAN? And who is Becky?? Is this a random TikTok that LiLo thought was funny, or does she know this person? Lindsay, you gotta help us out with this, because I need so much more information. In her IGTV caption, Lindsay spews some bullsh*t about “family, love, the process of moving forward and letting go of the past,” but I really just want to know who all of these people are.
I’m excited to see if Lindsay keeps up with the new music, because I genuinely do like the song. But for the next single, let’s put together an actual music video, k? In any case, here’s the audio version on YouTube, in case you want to listen to the song on repeat, but can’t handle the bizarre visuals of the video.
Welcome back, pop star LiLo, we missed you!
Images: lindsaylohan / Instagram; LindsayLohanVevo / YouTube