Welcome to the 2020 Golden Globes! While us normos are actively avoiding any human interaction after three weeks of non-stop partying and soul-crushing fights with our family members, Hollywood is getting together for yet another rager. Well, technically it’s an award show, but what would you call a night filled with 1,500 bottles of champagne, rambling monologues, awkward run-ins with exes, that all ends with a trip to a fast food joint? That’s what I thought.
This year, the Golden Globes were hosted by Ricky Gervais, marking the fifth time he’s held the honor, and his first time hosting since 2016. Now, I’m a fan of Ricky because at his best he is scathing, and at his worst he makes everyone so uncomfortable you can actually physically feel the hatred emanating off of them, and that’s a reaction I’m very used to. What can I say, you like what you know. But I can understand if he’s not your cup of tea. Well, I can’t, but one of my New Year’s resolutions was to be more understanding and it’s only January 6th, so I’m being magnanimous. You’re welcome. Anyway, this year he was better than I could have even imagined. Ricky immediately came for the people who hired him, called everyone in the room dumb perverts, and made a “Jeffrey Epstein didn’t kill himself” joke. If that wasn’t 90% of you after three cocktails at your office holiday party, then you’re lying.
Ricky Gervais 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 pic.twitter.com/z4LxMWj9ev
— Jack McGuire (@JackMacCFB) January 6, 2020
Ricky started the show off super strong, and it only got more preachy bonkers from there. So instead of a full recap, which none of us have time for unless you were fired after said office holiday party, I’ve broken the show into highs and lows. Let’s get to it!
☆ I know I already talked about the monologue, but bear with me while I just say that Ricky throwing out the line, “It’s the last time, who cares” after every insult he slung at the HFPA is a level of who gives a sh*t that we should all aspire to. (Also, special shout-out to Ricky for calling out Leo DiCaprio’s refusal to date age-appropriate women.)
☆ In toasting the three nominations for Knives Out, Ricky Gervais took an easy shot at Cats, everyone’s least favorite movie of the year: “See what happens when you don’t dress people up as cats?” Boom. Roasted. Honestly, that’s gonna be my philosophy whenever I accomplish anything from now on.
☆ Ramy Youssef admitting during his acceptance speech for “Best Performance by an Actor – Comedy or Musical,” that no one knows who he is. Fine, I’m mostly including this because he’s from Jersey, HOW DO YOU ALL SEE THROUGH ME? Hooray, New Jersey! We will take over the world like we’ve been secretly plotting! Soon everyone will be referring to their hometown by their exit on the parkway mwahahaahahahhahah!
☆ Celebrities raising awareness for the bush fires in Australia. I legit think that’s the only reason they gave Russell Crowe an award, because no one I know even saw The Loudest Voice. If they wanted to watch Roger Ailes prey on women they just waited to see Charlize Theron in Megyn Kelly cosplay in Bombshell. But really, those fires are BAD. Please help if you can!
☆ Bill Hader and Rachel Bilson showing up on the red carpet together for the first time. If you’re not watching Barry, you’re missing out on one of the best dark comedies on TV, plus you’ve yet to realize that Bill Hader is stealthily hot. And Summer Roberts deserves her happy ending. I stan.
☆ Just like at the Emmys, Fleabag won the Best Comedy Series, and Phoebe Waller-Bridge won Best Actress for her performance. These were some of the least surprising wins of the night, but sometimes the best show wins for a reason. Now that Fleabag is over, I can’t wait to see what Phoebe does next, because the world is truly her oyster. When will the world be my oyster?
☆ Succession wins! Succession won best drama and Brian Cox aka Logan Roy aka possibly the most mentally abusive father in America won Best Actor. Damn, that show is good. I actually screamed at the end of the second season when something insane happens that I won’t mention here, because I don’t want to get lit up in the comments over spoiling something that ended months ago. So I won’t spoil it, but WATCH IT ALREADY. And we were BLESSED that Brian Cox won because it allowed us the absolute best moment of the night, a Jason Momoa in a tank top sighting. It’s like someone knew we needed to start 2020 out that way.
My sexual orientation is Jason Momoa in a tank top at the Golden Globes pic.twitter.com/h0wwCl47Oa
— Sam Stryker (@sbstryker) January 6, 2020
☆ Kate McKinnon presenting the Carol Burnett award to Ellen. It was heartfelt, inspiring, and also funny. However, I was confused when Ellen said that people tell her that her show inspires them to go out every day and help people, and that’s what TV should do. The TV I watch inspires me to go out there and mercilessly mock Florida. Am I watching the wrong things?
☆ Brad Pitt’s face. Whoever is keeping Brad looking this refreshed is doing a fantastic job. It looks natural even though I know it’s not, and he could get it over Leo ANY. DAY. Fight me.
☆ While introducing Jojo Rabbit, Sacha Baron Cohen joked that Mark Zuckerberg is a “naive, misguided child who spreads Nazi propaganda.” LMAO. Where is the lie? Why do I feel like Sacha wrote that one himself? This definitely made some people in the room uncomfortable, but none of the other presenters had material that good.
— Lights, Camera, Pod (@LightsCameraPod) January 6, 2020
☆ Tom Hanks. Man, has that guy been in a lot of great movies. And THE EMOTION. Over his family. And he has a kid who is a white rapper and goes by the name Chet Haze! And he still loves them! For that alone he deserves an award.
☆ The cameraman who was smart enough to cutaway to Jennifer Aniston during Brad Pitt’s acceptance speech. I know some of you might be over this love triangle, but I didn’t invent it, and the media has made me invested in it for over half my life, so thank you, sir, for rewarding all the time and dedication I have put into this relationship. Now, if only her reaction had been more scandalous. We’ll have to work on that for next year, Jen.
☆ Also, Brad Pitt for acknowledging what we all know to be true, Leo COULD HAVE FIT ON THE DOOR and that Kate Winslet is a cold-blooded murderer. I also liked what he said about being kind to someone tomorrow. And I will, tomorrow! Today I have to write this recap.
☆ Awkwafina won Best Actress for her heartbreaking performance in The Farewell, and her acceptance speech was as funny as you’d expect. When she said “I told you I’d get a job, dad,” I really felt that. Way to stick it to dads everywhere that begged us to just be accountants.
☆ So I was about to put Joaquin Phoenix’s win on the “lows” list because I find him exhausting, pompous, and a little crazy behind the eyes, but then he called out everyone in the room for being hypocrites and I shrieked. Stop preaching about climate change and then hopping on your private jets, assholes! I loved it. Good luck at the after parties, Joaquin. Leo is not going to be happy.
Joaquin Phoenix did seem quite drunk BUT telling a room full of famous people to stop taking private jets to Palm Springs….you DO love to see it #GoldenGlobes
— Tyler McCall (@eiffeltyler) January 6, 2020
☆ Michelle Williams won for her performance in Fosse/Verdon, and she used her speech as an opportunity to speak out on the importance of women’s rights, especially when it comes to abortion. She’s known for keeping her personal life very private, so to hear her speak so passionately was truly a special moment.
☆ WHERE WAS LITTLE WOMEN?!! This movie was beautiful. I laughed, I cried, I remembered how much this story meant to someone like me, who fancies herself a writer. And the HFPA couldn’t give a sh*t about this movie. Couldn’t fathom how it would be important. Barely nominated it. It makes me believe everything Ricky Gervais said about them. Oscars, your move. Are you going to make me call you sexist trash bags, too?
☆ WTF was J.Lo wearing? Girl, we already know you’re a gift, you didn’t have to dress like the Christmas wrapping paper my mom bought at Paper Source on January 1st for 60% off.
☆ Laura Dern’s acceptance speech. I mean, she was funny, and charming, and she looked gorgeous, but the whole thing was hijacked by Gwyneth Paltrow’s ass. Come on, cameraman. We know she looked hot, but this is about Laura! Maybe film the winner’s acceptance speech from the front next time, and Google pictures of Gwyneth’s body at home later on your free time. This is your job, cameraman!
☆ Pairing Amy Poehler and Taylor Swift as presenters was BRILLIANT, because as you will remember, one of the years that Tina and Amy hosted the show they made a joke about Taylor Swift dating younger guys, and she responded later saying “there’s a special place in hell for women who don’t support other women.” Which is something I still laugh about to this day because it was such an overreaction. But this presentation was a missed opportunity. They didn’t even address it! I couldn’t even tell you what they presented, that was how boring it was. The fact that they didn’t take advantage of this pairing just made it pointless. I know you had something to say Amy, YOU SHOULD HAVE.
☆ Jason Momoa put his jacket back on to present.
☆ I find it unbelievable that Unbelievable didn’t win anything. As a true crime junkie, I can honestly say that that series was a cut above the rest of the genre, and Kaitlyn, Merritt, and Toni each gave heart-wrenching performances. And seriously, WHO IS WATCHING CHERNOBYL?!
☆ Another year where the best actor in a musical/comedy was from a musical biopic. I love Taron Egerton, but if he was going to win for anything it obviously should have been Kingsman. It takes great talent to play a character named Eggsy without laughing.
☆ The presenters. As I mentioned earlier, they were all kind of nothing-burgers. Was Tom Hanks passing around his cold medicine at the pre-show?
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood winning multiple awards, proving once again that Hollywood loves nothing more than to jerk itself off.
That Pierce Brosnan’s sons, this year’s Golden Globe Ambassadors, were nowhere near as hot as Pierce Brosnan.
The length. Over 3 hours?!?! Did I spend 11 hours binging the entire season of Spinning Out just yesterday? Yes, but what’s your point?
At that’s all folks! Have a good day! As Ricky says, get drunk, take your drugs! Happy New Year!
Images: Jackmacdfb ,sbstryker, lightscamerapod, eiffeltyler/Twitter; enews, betches/Instagram; Giphy
Today marks Leo DiCaprio’s 45th birthday, and it’s only right that we celebrate such a Hollywood icon. Leo’s given us so many amazing performances over the course of his career, and for that I am thankful. But when it comes to his dating life, things have been a little bumpier, and Leo has never really settled down. Leo has a type, and that type is basically just “young and hot.”
These days, Leo is in a relationship with 22-year-old model and actress Camila Morrone, whom he started dating last year. I’m honestly impressed they’ve made it this far, but Camila is just the latest in a long line of young, hot women that Leo has huge out with. Let’s take a look back at some of the Leo DiCaprio exes you may have forgotten about, and some that I really just want to bring up again.
Okay, so most of you probably remember this, but it will never not be wild to me. Back in early 2015, Rih and Leo were spotted together numerous times over the course of a few months, starting with New Years in St. Bart’s. Naturally, everyone assumed that something was going on, but there was never solid confirmation that they were in a relationship. Personally, I feel like Rihanna would’ve hooked up with Leo just for the story, and I really support that.
I truly, truly forgot that this happened. At this point, it’s bizarre to imagine a time when Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds weren’t a package deal, but we all had to start somewhere. And for Blake Lively, that meant a five-month relationship with Leo in 2011, when she was just 24. Their relationship obviously didn’t last that long, but some weird info leaked about their habits. Reportedly, Blake traveled with a doll and sent Leo pictures of it at all the places she went, which is…cute? Nope, I tried, but it’s weird.
Israeli model Bar Refaeli is probably the longest relationship Leo has had. They dated from 2005 to 2010, when she turned 25 and officially became too old for him. Sad, but true. They were quite serious, and one time Leo met the Israeli Prime Minister while visiting her in her home country. Since dating Leo, Bar has done pretty well for herself, investing in a bunch of Israeli businesses that have given her a net worth of $20 million. Good for her.
Ah yes, a true early 2000s power couple. Like Bar Refaeli, Gisele dated Leo for around five years, from 1999 to 2004. Despite Leo being notoriously private with his relationships, he even took Gisele to the Oscars one year, so you know it was serious. In 2018, Gisele finally opened up about the relationship, saying that she started suffering from panic attacks near the end, and needed to change her lifestyle of heavy drinking and smoking cigarettes. Obviously, she ended up with Tom Brady, and I feel like she’s probably okay with that decision.
We don’t really know any details of this, but it’s widely reported that Naomi and Leo had a “fling” in 1995. You know this was a super long time ago, because Naomi is actually four years OLDER than Leo. He might’ve been into her back then, but she’s literally 25 years too old for him now. Sad for him, because she’s still stunning.
Amber Valletta is a super famous model, or you might know her as the sister of Scheana’s ex Rob from Vanderpump Rules. Either way, Leo and Amber were only together for a brief time, but the story is…a lot. Apparently, Leo saw a picture of Amber in a magazine in 1998, and had his people track her down for him. And then they hooked up. Sounds really romantic!
Demi and Leo dated for a hot minute back in 1997, and she was older than him, too. This isn’t really surprising to me for some reason, but I definitely didn’t know that it happened. Demi would then go on to marry another younger guy, Ashton Kutcher, but Leo wouldn’t really do the older woman thing for much longer.
Leo DiCaprio has had many more exes over the years, but most of them are models who are basically only famous because they dated Leo. It’s truly been a wild ride. Happy birthday, Leo!
Images: Getty Images; Giphy (6); Tenor
As most people do, I have a love-hate relationship with Coachella. Every year, I find myself scrolling through Instagram, complaining about how Coachella is basically just Disneyland for influencers, and a way for Vanessa Hudgens to cling to relevance for two weeks a year. Instead of flying across the country and lighting all my money on fire, I prefer to celebrate Couchella. For those wondering, “Couchella” is the fun way of saying “eating a ton of junk food and wallowing in self-loathing as I scroll Instagram and half pay attention to reruns of The Office.”
As much fun as Couchella is, it can get a little depressing by weekend two. But don’t worry, because now we’ve turned Coachella into an opportunity for comedy and drunkenness, with a special game of Coachella Bingo. Tell everyone in the group chat to come over, because you have some serious Instagram stalking to do. Let’s get to the game.
- To play, don’t bother printing out the Coachella Bingo card. Save the trees and yada yada yada, but also I don’t know a single person who owns a printer anymore. Just screenshot the sheet and use the markup feature on your phone to put X’s on the spot.
- Take a shot every time you finish a line. This will almost make it feel like you’re at Coachella, except you have cell phone signal, and you also don’t have to share a bed with six other people in an Airbnb.
- When you get blackout (both on the bingo card and from drinking), the prize is that you don’t have to risk sharing a toilet seat with Bella Thorne or Jax Taylor, you don’t have to deal with creepy dudes trying to proposition you for port-a-potty sex, and you don’t have worry about being in shape for a half-clothed Insta for at least two more months. It’s the small things in life.
Just some quick notes on squares that may cause some confusion:
- Someone who is too old to be at Coachella: any Real Housewife, or any guy who is actually old enough to be your father.
- Changing into a bikini does not count as an outfit change so long as you don’t wear it to the festival, but it counts if you change into an outfit after.
- Villains from The Bachelor who the rest of the cast refuses to hang out with do NOT count as seeing a girl gang from The Bachelor. They will, however, fall under the umbrella of fake Revolve sponsorship and/or Diff Eyewear.
- Leonardo DiCaprio’s ex-girlfriends only count if he bought them a hybrid car or dated them during his Oscar campaign to make it seem like he will get married someday to pander to the Academy. Leo sleeps with everyone, so knowing which flavor Juul pod he uses when he vapes during sex does NOT count as being his girlfriend.
- Getting wayyyy too tan can count as cultural appropriation if you need it to.
- Pretending to be sponsored by Boohoo, VICI, or Fashion Nova counts as pretending to be sponsored by Revolve
And that’s it! Happy hate-stalking, and see you next year!
A few months ago, I came across an article from The Cut about the potential mental health benefits of infrared saunas. Even though I was in Los Angeles at the time, the sun was still setting at 4pm, and my mood levels had definitely been suffering for it. At that point, I’d tried exercising six times a week, meditating, and gratitude journaling to keep my Seasonal Affective Disorder at bay, and frankly, sweating it out in a sauna sounded like a way more appealing option. Once I was back in my beloved NYC, I promptly booked an appointment with HigherDOSE, an infrared sauna spa with locations all over NYC, New Jersey, and Connecticut. It’s also the preferred spot of celebs like Leonardo DiCaprio, Michelle Williams, and Bella Hadid, if you’re into that. Read on to find out the alleged benefits of infrared saunas, and what I thought after my 60-minute session.
What Do Infrared Saunas Do?
Simply put, infrared saunas claim to make you hotter in every way (obviously, pun intended). Not only does an hour of intense sweating knock off some water weight, but infrared heat may actually help boost your metabolism. According to Dr. Frank Lipman, who spoke to The Cut, just half an hour in an infrared sauna could help you burn up to 600 calories. (That’s like, one million squats or an hour on the treadmill. If this is what celebs have secretly been doing instead of working out, I will never feel okay again.)
For those of you less obsessed with losing weight (tell me your secrets), infrared saunas also have major skin benefits. Again per Dr. Lipman, infrared heat boosts circulation, blood flow, and collagen production, giving you an immediate post-sauna glow, as well as long-term benefits from regular use. Lipman, along with HigherDOSE’s co-founders, also hype up the detoxing capabilities of infrared saunas. Co-founder Lauren Berlingeri claims that infrared pulls “heavy metals, environmental pollutants, and radiation” from your system, and the instructional pamphlet inside the sauna room advised that some of your sweat may come out as black from all the toxins being released. (Sidenote: I’m still not sure that I believe “detoxing” is a real thing, but I really want it to be.) Other potential benefits include pain relief (from sore muscles to chronic headaches) and a boosted immune system.
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Currently sweating it out at an infrared sauna place. If you don't know about infrared saunas GET ON BOARD! I love it so much. It's not like a regular sauna where I can only sit there for like 10 mins and then I feel like I'm melting. infrared saunas are great for deep muscle relaxation, detoxing, cardio vascular health and your skin! Michelle told me it helps skin heal faster – I don't know about that but it does feel great! But you know, obviously, I'm no doctor(right @steveagee??)
Finally, the mental health benefits: a 2016 study showed that whole-body hyperthermia (whole body heating, specifically to 101.3º F, for the non-scientists among us), could have antidepressant effects lasting up to six weeks. Claims have been floating around for years that infrared heat can influence serotonin levels or release endorphins, but evidence is tenuous. The 2016 study, however, focuses on the “stress” aspect of sitting in a sauna—the extreme heat—and how these bursts of stress can better train your brain to deal with non-sauna stressors, like anxiety or depression. Again, no one’s claiming that this is rock-solid science, but these studies, along with the fact that everyone seems to feel f*cking amazing after leaving one of these saunas, was enough to make me desperate to try it for myself.
So, What’s An Infrared Sauna Like?
I visited the 11 Howard location of HigherDOSE, and was immediately thrilled by the spa-like room I entered. Each sauna room has a private bathroom (with a nicer shower than the one in my apartment), a Bluetooth speaker system, water, chilled eucalyptus towels, and of course, the sauna itself.
You’re given a chromotherapy menu, which tells you the different light therapy colors available to you, and the benefits of each type of light. It’s pretty intuitive (yellow and orange are more activating, blue is more relaxing), but given that I’m a type-A weirdo, I spent the first half hour cycling through all of them anyway. The first 20 minutes felt like sitting in a colorful, less-hot-than-normal sauna. I was warm, but I didn’t have that slowly-being-cooked feeling I get after about 10 minutes in a regular sauna. At the 20-25 minute mark, things got really satisfying, by which I mean sweat started pouring down my entire body. Again, in regular saunas, I’ll notice a drip here or there, then walk out and be surprised at how sweaty I actually am. In the infrared sauna, there was no doubt that I was coated in sweat, and steadily producing more.
I also have a pretty short tolerance for regular saunas; I’d say 20-30 minutes and I’m begging to leave. With the infrared sauna, I was happy to stay in there a full 50 minutes (I left 10 minutes to shower), and honestly could have stayed a bit longer. Promptly after showering, I noticed a few things. My skin was baby-soft, the dull full-body ache from yesterday’s boxing class was greatly improved, and while I didn’t suddenly feel an all-around calm or “mental high,” my anxiety was noticeably tamed. I know this because my face, which is highly sensitive to many things, including heat, got some crazy red blotches about ten minutes post-sauna. But the last time I’d gotten blotches like this, I locked myself in a bathroom for two hours, crying furiously and sending my dermatologist selfies. This time, I washed my face, said “f*ck it,” and moved on with my day. See? Anxiety calming.
I’m not including a description of my blotchy face to alarm you. Any discoloration was gone within the hour, and I trust that if you have skin like mine, you already know that heat is a trigger. But it was truly remarkable to look in the mirror at something that would have typically ruined my day and be able to let it go. In terms of a mental boost from the infrared sauna, I was expecting something like a runner’s high (which I’ve also never achieved, possibly because I’ve never run long enough to get there). But the mental boost I got instead was actually way more valuable to my life—for the next few hours, at least, I didn’t get derailed by minor sh*t. As far as superpowers go, I’ll take it.
So, the only real major con of infrared saunas? The price tag. HigherDOSE sessions cost $45 and up for solo sessions, or $30 and up if you go with two people. As a one-time expense, it’s not bad, but given that many of the benefits are unlocked by regular use, I wish the experience were slightly more accessible. Given my experience, I’d love to go more often, but until my wellness influencer career really takes off, I’ll likely have to limit it to a once-monthly treat.
Images: Keziban Barry; @higherdose (2), @busyphilipps / Instagram;
It’s hard to keep up with all the celebrity news these days. There are countless feuds between singers who hate each other that we are all aware of (hi Cardi B and Nicki Minaj). But there are some celebrities who hate each other that do so in a more
tasteful private manner. Ever think actors really aren’t that good at their job? Well, there are a bunch of co-stars who can’t stand one another and you’ll be shocked when you find out. I apologize in advance for possibly ruining your favorite movies or shows when you learn about these celebrities who hate each other. Whoops.
1. Rachel McAdams Ryan Gosling
This one broke my heart. Apparently, when they first started filming The Notebook the chemistry was not there. Gosling even asked the director to replace McAdams but instead, the two were forced into a couples therapy session. LOL. This ended up working because their acting in the movie is v compelling and the two even went on to date on and off for four years after filming.
2. Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes
During the filming of Romeo + Juliet, Danes found DiCaprio to be immature and avoided him at all cost when they weren’t in scenes together. DiCaprio was 21 while Danes was 17 at the time. She didn’t like that he would prank others on set, while he reportedly thought she was uptight. I guess it’s true when they say girls mature faster than boys.
3. Mariah Carey and Everyone
Carey has a reputation of being a diva. And the celebrity feuds she is involved in are endless. The list includes Nicki Minaj, J.Lo, Demi Lovato, and probably continues to grow as we speak.
4. Kelly Osbourne and Christina Aguilera
This one is rather one-sided. After Osborne said, referring to Aguilera, “Maybe she is just becoming the fat b–ch she was born to be. I don’t know.” Fat shaming is never cool. Although this duo has a long history of snarking comments to one another, Aguilera stayed quiet in this specific instance. Only time will tell if this feud will continue.
5. Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall
Ugh. It’s v depressing to know that your fav BFFs on TV are actually part of the list of celebrities who hate each other. That said, Parker and Cattrall have been pretty public about their *lack of* friendship. In February, Cattrall posted to her Instagram (see post here) to call Parker out for being a fake friend and to tell her to leave her alone after her brother’s death. Ouch. Fans, including myself, were devastated to learn about this feud, especially since that meant no third Sex and the City movie.
Images: Giphy (3)
Leonardo DiCaprio is getting engaged. Okay, I’m getting ahead of myself. Rumor has it that he’s planning on popping the question soon, and I’m v upset about it. After 43 years of being the ultimate bachelor, Leo might be settling down with his new model
of the week, Camila Morrone. An insider told Us Weekly that he has “never loved a girl like this.” Aw, that’s sweet. Of course, there’s not really any way to judge the accuracy of “insider” reports, but let’s assume this is true. Is Camila Morrone the future Mrs. DiCaprio?
Need a recap on who Camila Morrone is? As we’ve discussed, she’s a 21-year-old Argentinian model and actress. Yes, you read that correctly, she is 21. Half his age. Actually, NOT EVEN HALF. The two have been dating since
her high school graduation December 2017, and have been photographed around the world together. It’s no surprise Leo fell hard for her since she falls perfectly into his “type” (model, younger than him).
So yeah, it makes sense that Leo is very into Camila, because literally who wouldn’t be? I’m happy for Leo, but also some of the details in the Us Weekly report are a little cringey. The source talks about how Leo is finally ready to settle down, which is not that shocking considering that he’s been an adult man for a quarter of a century. Apparently Gisele Bündchen, whom Leo dated from 2000 to 2005, wanted to get engaged, but Leo thought he was too young. Okay, first of all, if you’re dating someone for five years and not willing to discuss marriage, what are you doing? Second, Leo was 31 in 2005. If 31 is “too young” for men to get married now, just throw me in front of a moving train.
In the Us Weekly article, the source also says that Leo is “ready to have kids,” and that ” loves having little kids around and wants to have kids with Leo.” She also apparently wants to get married first because she’s “very traditional in that way.” I believe that all of this is true, but I’m still not sure I can imagine Leonardo DiCaprio having children. Whatever, I guess anything can happen.
Will Camila Morrone be Leo’s lasting love? Maybe! To date, neither of them have ever confirmed or commented publicly on their relationship, but time will tell. Soon, we might get some sort of announcement, or see Camila in public rocking the largest ring we’ve ever seen. Sorry ladies, but the chance to get with Leo might be gone. I’m not crying, you’re crying.
Image: Giphy (1)
Leonardo DiCaprio is like, the king of the dad bod. Sure, he had a pretty good run as one of the hottest guys in the history of ever, but unlike the other regulation hotties in Hollywood (I’m looking at you, Brad and George), Leo has kind of let himself go. I mean, nobody was expecting him to stay Jack Dawson-level perfect forever, but he did date a Spice Girl in the ‘90s, and that kind of feels like the closest thing this world has to a dip in the fountain of youth.
Before you go and turn into the nice police on me, let it be stated that I’m not trying to tear into Leo for his physical appearance. I’m just investigating what exactly happened that made us look at photos of him and think, “Oh no,” instead of, “Fuck yeah.” I’m also kind of calling for a little social action here. Leo’s obv out here living his best life, doing shit like watching Salt Bae cook for him and partying with models. He’s just doing it with no fucks given, and everyone is pretty much just nodding their heads like, “Yeah, this is fine!” All I want is for that kind of support if I decide to let myself go, you know? Like, if I want to run around belly out while squirting a water gun, I would hope that the general consensus would be the same semi-hesitant support Leo gets. That’s really all I ask for in this life. Anyway, let’s look into this further.
In 2013, Leo was definitely still a fox. I know this because he starred in The Great Gatsby AND Wolf of Wall Street that year. If you can look good rolling down steps while tripping on quaaludes in a pair of sweatpants, you are untouchable.
In 2014, TMZ started calling him Leonardo DiFlabrio and said that even though he had boobs, he was still hot, because he’s Leo DiCaprio and bangs models. This was also the year of the infamous water gun photos.
In 2015, Leo was rocking a man bun and a beard that was a little Trader Joe’s cashier-y, but it worked, because he was busy being like, an environmentalist or something.
In 2016, Leo finally won an Oscar and looked really good. That is all.
2017 is a shitty year, but Leo made it better by hanging out with Kate Winslet in Saint-Tropez. This moment was really too good for all of us, and honestly, I think the world (or at least the internet) would have ended if he had been super jacked for this occasion. It would’ve been too much to handle, so Leo basically did us a favor by keeping the scales balanced.
Most recently, DiCaprio was spotted whipping around in a Volvo. He looked pretty decent. Maybe we’ll never get peak Leo back, but I’m feeling optimistic about the future.
When it comes to relationships, Leonardo DiCaprio has a very clear type: model, hot, and significantly younger than him. This has been true for literally as long as we can remember, and it doesn’t look like he’s changing his ways anytime soon. Last weekend, he was seen leaving 1Oak New York at 5am holding hands with his ex-girlfriend Toni Garrn, who (you guessed it!) is a model. It definitely seems like things are back on between the two of them, because why else would you be holding hands and then getting in the car together at 5am? In case you’re wondering, Leo is 42 and Toni is 25, but age is just a number or whatever.
While we’re here, let’s take a walk down memory lane, and look at some of the highlights of Leo’s dating career. This could take a while.
1. Emma Bunton, aka “Baby Spice”
That’s right, way back in 1997 when you were a small child, Leo dated a real life Spice Girl. Emma is Baby Spice if you’re wondering, and apparently he didn’t wannabe her lover bad enough to stick around.
2. Helena Christensen
Helena was one of the big supermodels of the 1990s, and she was also one of the original Victoria’s Secret Angels. She’s also five years older than Leo, but apparently that didn’t disgust him in 1997. After that, she started dating the guy with the dead eyes from The Walking Dead, and he…fucked a bunch more models.
3. Amber Valletta
The year was 1998. Amber was another one of the major supermodels of the 90s. Leo reportedly saw her in a magazine and had his people call her people, which is the most romantic thing we’ve ever heard.
4. Bijou Phillips
Back in 1998, Leo dated 18-year-old Phillips, who had a famous dad or something and was trying to be an actress. It didn’t last, and she ended up marrying Hyde from That 70s Show, but she did credit Leo with helping her get a movie role.
5. Gisele Bündchen
This just makes us feel really fucking old. In 1999, when Tom Brady was still playing college football, Gisele and Leo started a relationship that would be on-again-off-again until 2005. In a really eloquent interview from 2009, Gisele said “we were just not meant to be girlfriend and boyfriend.” Deep shit, man.
6. Bar Refaeli
After Gisele was gone, Leo quickly moved on from a Brazilian Victoria’s Secret model to an Israeli Victoria’s Secret model. Tough transition. They were together from 2006 until 2011 (minus a six-month break in 2009), and we really thought she might be the one after she introduced him to the Israeli prime minister. But it wasn’t meant to be, and now Bar is married to an Israeli man.
7. Anne V.
We mentioned that Leo and Bar took a six-month break in 2009, and Leo spent that break on a beach with Anne V, a top model who also dated Adam Levine back in the day. Seriously, these guys shuffle models around like a deck of cards.
8. Blake Lively
We almost forgot about this, and we still can’t believe it really happened. In the six months they were together, they were spotted in Cannes, Italy, New York, LA, and Australia. Okay, maybe Blake was just in it for the frequent flyer miles.
9. Erin Heatherton
If you’re keeping score, Erin is the fifth Victoria’s Secret model on this list. Casual. Like Blake, Erin was busy traveling the whole time she was with Leo. They were seen together in Sydney, Mexico, Hawaii, LA, and New York in the year they were dating.
10. Toni Garrn
Remember her? Toni (yes, that’s really how her last name is spelled; I didn’t just sneeze on the keyboard) and Leo originally dated from May 2013 to December 2014, during which they took beach vacations in at least four different countries. In case you were wondering, this means Toni was 21 and Leo was 38, so I’m calling the police. Looks like old habits die hard, because they’re definitely not done with each other. Oh, and Toni is also a Victoria’s Secret model.
11. Kelly Rohrbach
In 2015, Leo ditched the VS models for a Sports Illustrated model, and they spent most of the summer hanging out together in New York. There was a rumor that he proposed to her, but that was obviously false because he is clearly never getting married.
We’ll be clear: We don’t know for sure that they dated, but it really looks like they did. He helped plan her birthday party in 2015, and they were later seen meeting up at a club. Let’s just say, Leo doesn’t seem like the kind of guy you meet at the club just to say hi and go your separate ways.
13. Nina Agdal
Before the reappearance of Toni Garrn, Leo’s latest model was Nina Agdal, who can proudly say that she’s done both Victoria’s Secret and Sports Illustrated. She also previously dated Adam Levine, because of course, but she and Leo broke it off in May.