In news of the world that isn’t horrible and depressing, Lauren Conrad has given birth to her first child. She and husband William Tell welcomed a baby boy, Liam James, on July 5th, and he probably already has better style than any of us. They definitely don’t get any bonus points for a creative name, but originality is overrated. Honestly, the fact that this baby has just a regular bro name (I feel like I met 15 Liams on Bumble in the past week alone) is more interesting than if they’d followed in other celebs’ footsteps and named him “Ichabod” or “Appletini”. If Lauren taught us anything, it’s that you’ve always got to be subverting expectations. She did it when her career lasted past the early 2000s, and she’s doing so now by naming her baby something so normal that he’ll have to add like, a thousand numbers to all of his social media handles. Congrats, LC. You passed your first test as a mother.
In the years post-Hills, LC has mastered the art of being famous and still leading a classy, drama-free life, and her baby announcement was no different. She Instagrammed a picture of a needlepoint design with the whole family (dogs included), with a simple caption about how happy they are. So cute! So normal! So not cringeworthy! Rob and Chyna, take note.
LC joins Kristin and Audrina in the moms club, with Whitney and Heidi also expecting their first babies sometime later this year. So yeah, I guess we’re all old now. If you had asked us 10 years ago, we honestly would’ve expected more of them to become messes, but they’ve come a long way since fucking around with Brody Jenner and co. Good job ladies, keep it up.
Congrats to William and Lauren on their new arrival, but they probably shouldn’t let him be on a reality show while he’s in high school.
Think all the way back to January 1st. We were all hungover, we thought things couldn’t get worse after 2016, and Lauren Conrad announced to the world that she’s pregnant for the first time. Now fast forward to last week, when Whitney Port announced she’s also pregnant. If you’re a fan of The Hills, you know that Whitney was the nicest, most drama-free character on the show. We realize that makes her sound like a boring nicegirl, but for some reason we all still wanted to be her (and Lauren, but that goes without saying). If her behavior on the “reality” show is any indication of how she’ll be as a mother, we have high hopes for her. In honor of her pregnancy, we’ve compiled a list of her most profound quotes from the show.
“We’re all just trying to find out who our true friends are. It sucks sometimes, but what can you do about it?”
True, but in this case does it really suck that they’re not friends with Heidi anymore?
“First dates are exciting but first dates can also be really uncomfortable.”
This straddles the line between incredibly profound and incredibly obvious. It could also be Bumble’s new tagline. Nice job, Whit.
“Jeans can be really addicting. There’s, like, always new ones.”
Yeah… I hope her baby is a girl so she can use her mother’s own quote against her when they’re shopping at the mall together.
“People just waste so much time being angry at people.”
Is this a nicegirl’s way of saying people should just not give a fuck about anything?
“Honestly, I have no expectations whatsoever in guys”
Really not bad advice for finding a guy these days. Is that how you met your baby daddy?
“I don’t wanna be attached to anyone. I just wanna like, enjoy myself.”
If only she could see herself now…
Anyway, congratulations to Whitney. She really was a refreshing character on the show and we hope she passes that down to her child. Luckily when the kid is old enough to watch The Hills, Whitney won’t have too much to be embarrassed about besides the fact that she was on the show in the first place. Now that Lauren, Audrina, and Whitney are all going to be moms, we’re fully expecting Heidi to announce her own pregnancy any day now—though we seriously pray she and Spencer never reproduce. They should just stick with their adopted actor neighbor/son, Enzo.