2019 has been a long year, and personally, I’m ready for a nap. Between work, maintaining a social life, and staying caught up on seven different Real Housewives franchises, there isn’t much room in my brain our brains for miscellaneous info. Because of that, random pop culture happenings tend to leave our collective consciousness as fast as they enter (except Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello kissing, sadly we can’t unsee that).
You probably remember a lot of the highlights of this year, from Miley and Liam’s breakup to approximately seven million celeb weddings, but that’s not all that happened in 2019. This year came with lots of random moments in pop culture, from relationships to babies to memes that were just too easily forgotten. Here are all the 2019 moments that you definitely already forgot about.
1. Fiji Water Girl
As we all embrace Peleton bike girl, I have to ask, what happened to Fiji water girl???
— Logan Again (@sloganagain) December 7, 2019
Does the name “Kelleth Cuthbert” ring a bell? Honestly, probably not, and that’s okay. I’ve worked hard to purge the word “shook” from my vocabulary, but I was 100% shook when I realized that the Fiji Water Girl was from the 2019 Golden Globes. As in, the one that happened this year. Kelleth, whose Instagram bio somehow doesn’t mention Fiji, has 200k followers, and her modeling career seems to be going well. After the Golden Globes, she actually sued Fiji, claiming that they were using her image without properly compensating her. They sued her back, and that was basically the last anyone heard of it. And somehow, all of this has been within the last year. Weird.
2. Psalm West
At this rate, Kim and Kanye are gonna name their fourth kid Deus or some shit
— Betches (@betchesluvthis) May 10, 2019
Oh yeah, Kim and Kanye did have a baby this year! Their fourth child, Psalm, was born via surrogate in May, and while none of our name predictions were exactly right, we did guess that they would go with something religious. And if you can’t remember if Khloé and Kylie had their babies this year, nope, that was 2018. There really are too many Kardashian babies to keep track of, but god damn it, we can try our best.
3. Andy From Fyre Festival
Lots of weird things have happened in 2019, but nothing else was weird in the same way as Netflix and Hulu releasing competing documentaries about Fyre Festival literally one week apart. While it was fascinating to get an inside look at the f*cked up planning of the event and the even more f*cked up mind of Billy McFarland, the most important thing to come out of this whole cultural event was a meme. Specifically, Andy King saying that he was prepared to suck d*ck for water. You just can’t make this sh*t up.
4. Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper’s Oscar Performance
Remember that three-week period where everyone couldn’t stop talking about how Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga definitely wanted to f*ck each other? That was 2019, baby! They already looked like they were in love during their A Star Is Born press tour, but the rumors reached a fever pitch after their, um, passionate performance at this year’s Academy Awards. Every body language expert in the world scrambled to analyze Irina Shayk’s reactions, and it wasn’t surprising when she announced her split from Bradley just a few months later. Now, it really does seem like Bradley and Gaga were just friends (and compelling actors) all along, but a little part of all of us will always be… far from the shallow.
5. Pete Davidson & Kate Beckinsale
the fact that pete davidson has dated kate beckinsale and is now dating kaia… is this a fucking mad lib
— a (@septimbers) November 19, 2019
Okay, let’s straighten out the Pete Davidson timeline for a second, because he’s been a busy man for the last couple of years. The whole thing with Ariana Grande happened LAST YEAR. 2018. My coworker really thought it happened in 2019, and I had to double check to make sure I wasn’t in the Sunken Place. This year, Pete was busy dating a wide variety of women, but most notably Kate Beckinsale. Their public romance only lasted a couple months, but boy, was it strange. These days, Pete’s moved on to the barely-legal Kaia Gerber, and Kate’s moved on to… well, IDK, I don’t really keep up with her. I hope she’s doing well!
6. All The Jordyn Woods Drama
Okay, let’s be real, you probably didn’t forget about this, but it really deserves one more moment in the spotlight. Basically, the entire world collectively lost its mind after Kylie’s BFF Jordyn was spotted leaving a late-night hangout with Khloé’s baby daddy, Tristan Thompson. To be honest, I don’t know if there’s ever been a more scandalous story. Jordyn moved out of Kylie’s house, Khloé dumped Tristan’s pathetic ass, and we all actually got tricked into watching Red Table Talk. I still can barely believe all of this actually happened.
7. The Starbucks Cup In ‘Game of Thrones’
You be minding your own business then you suddenly remember game of thrones left a Starbucks cup in a scene of the final season. Day ruined.
— ☥K (@ItuByNature) November 22, 2019
And now, onto the other biggest scandal of the year. Okay, not really, but people were basically acting like the Starbucks cup left on set in Game of Thrones was the end of the world. As an avid GoT-non-watcher, I didn’t really care about this when it happened, and now, eight months later, I certainly don’t care. In fact, I barely even remember this happening. I don’t know if anyone got fired over this, but let’s hope not, because who f*cking cares. But maybe this is why the show got snubbed at the Golden Globes?
8. #FreeBritney
Am I the only one who forgot what a giant sh*tshow Britney Spears’ personal life was for a second this year? After canceling her Vegas residency to focus on her dad’s health, there were reports that Britney Spears was being held against her will in a mental facility. And then, when she did resurface on social media, we weren’t really sure whether she was posting what she wanted to, or just doing what someone else was telling her. As far as I can tell, we never really got answers about any of this, but I guess our attention spans are too short to keep caring. Love you Brit, hope everything is good!
9. Area 51
At this point my only hope for finding a guy who will text back is to raid Area 51
— notanothertruecrimepod (@NATCpod) July 15, 2019
I didn’t really realize Facebook events were still a thing, except for my extra AF friend when it comes to her Ugly Sweater Party, but apparently I was wrong. This summer, millions of people RSVP’d to a Facebook event promising to raid Area 51, with the logic that if everyone tried at once, someone would be bound to make it through and find the top-secret government info about aliens. Of course, the vast majority of them didn’t show up, which is probably why there hasn’t been any crazy news about aliens. The truth is out there!
10. Bella Thorne’s Poetry Book
Surprise, bitch! Bet you didn’t remember this, but Bella Thorne released her first book of poems, The Life of a Wannabe Mogul: Mental Disarray. The Amazon page features rave reviews from celebs such as Zendaya, Snoop Dogg, and Lena Dunham, so it’s really a shame that I haven’t gotten myself a copy yet, but Bella, if you want to send me one, let’s get in touch. And don’t forget that this was also the year Bella Thorne made her directorial debut in porn, proving that she really can do it all.
What pop culture moments topped 2019 for you? Please tell me what I forgot that I forgot in the comments, because it really has been a long year.
Images: sloganagain, septimbers, itubynature, natcpod / Twitter; Netflix; britneyspears, bellathorne / Instagram
We’ve barely made a dent in 2019, and we’ve already had some major sh*t thrown at us. Aunt Becky is a hardened criminal facing jail time, A-Rod gave J.Lo an engagement ring big enough to make her forget the cheating rumors, and now Kim Kardashian is apparently going to become a lawyer without ever attending law school. And if that wasn’t enough to process, we’ve also had some major celebrity breakups of 2019. It turns out even celebrities just want someone to face their racist grandma with at the holidays, and then they want to drop them as soon as the honey baked ham goes cold.
Unfortunately for me, this does not apply to my crush who is currently cruising the Caribbean with his girlfriend and her family and probably enjoying the all-you-can-eat buffet or proposing or something equally horrifying. I’m totally handling it well, and not at all writing this article from my darkened room where my only companion is a bag of Doritos. But I digress. Let’s forget about my tragic reality, and instead take a look at the celebrities that have broken up so far this year, and TBH we’re lucky a few of them didn’t end in murder-suicide.
Emma Roberts and Evan Peters
You would think that the first time Emma was arrested for assaulting Evan these two would have broken up, but you’d be wrong. Young love is strong as sh*t you guys, hormones are no joke, and they clearly had a strong hold on Emma’s brain in her early days. The couple remained on and off for another SIX years after that, assaulting each other in private, I assume. They finally broke up in March of this year, and Emma immediately appeared out with Garrett Hedlund, who most recently played a sexy Special Forces dude in a Ben Affleck movie, which in my opinion is a major upgrade to the guy that played a nerd in Sleepover.
Lady Gaga and Christian Carino
So apparently Lady Gaga was engaged to her manager, Christian Carino, and they broke up right before the Oscars. Did literally anyone know about him? I’m sorry, she is LADY GAGA, singer, actress, dancer, mother monster, meat dress wearer, the great bambino, and I had to google his last name. I can not even picture his face. Does he even have a face? This all seems very off-balance to me. It’s definitely right that they broke up, because Gaga needs to be with someone more on her level, like say, Jesus Christ or Bradley Cooper. We all saw that mad chemistry in A Star is Born, unless you’re my mother and slept through the whole thing except the part where he pees himself at the Grammys, and you could cut that sexual tension with a knife. Now Bradley, just ditch that model girlfriend and abandon that adorable child of yours (she’s so young she won’t even remember you!) so that world can have the couple of our dreams. We deserve it.
Demi Lovato and Henry Levy
Demi Lovato and “fashion designer” Henry Levy broke up this March after dating for five months. I’m using air quotes here because I’m more familiar with Forever 21’s spring line than anything this man has ever created. I think this breakup is for the best; should Demi really have been dating only a few months after relapsing? I think they say if you’re in treatment for substance abuse you shouldn’t date someone for at least a year, and yes I did get that from a Sandra Bullock movie. I think it’s probably best she focus on her recovery anyway, because I need her to be happy and healthy so she can put out another banger like “Skyscraper”. Am I right?!
You got this, girl
Jeff Bezos and MacKenzie Bezos
I know you youths out there probably don’t care about this one, but come on, Jeff Bezos is the richest guy in the world, and he just ditched his wife to send “u up” texts to his mistress. Kidding, he actually texts her, “I love you, alive girl. I will show you with my body, and my lips and my eyes, very soon.” Excuse me while I go pour acid into my eyeballs. Needless to say, the couple finalized their divorce a few weeks ago, with MacKenzie receiving 25% of their Amazon stock.
Jeff Bezos is 55 years old, ladies, so I can confirm men do not, in fact, get better. At least MacKenzie has that $35.7 billion to keep her warm at night instead of his body, his lips, and his eyes. I think we’d all prefer that anyway.
Khloé Kardashian and Tristan Thompson
We all know Khloé and Tristan broke up. I’m sick of talking about them but I also didn’t want anyone in the comments to call me a moron for leaving them out. I’m emotionally fragile right now. So here they are! Tristan is a cheating cheater that cheats, and Khloé puts up with it only until she can get the most publicity out of the breakup. You can find many articles about it on this site alone, including the one I wrote, which is the only one I’m going to pimp out here because I’m the worst. You can’t say I’m not self-aware. Enjoy!
What’s been harder & more painful is being hurt by someone so close to me. Someone whom I love & treat like a little sister. But Jordyn is not to be blamed for the breakup of my family. This was Tristan’s fault.
— KoKo (@khloekardashian) March 2, 2019
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth
Really, truly the most shocking of all. This weekend, we got the news that Miley and Liam are dunzo after less than a year of marriage, because we just can’t have nice things. Miley was then seen making out with Brody Jenner’s ex Kaitlynn Carter in Italy, because we really can’t have nice things.
So those are the major celebrity breakups of 2019. In the next three quarters of this year, prepare for many more breakups *cough* Emma and Garrett *cough* and I hope you’ll all pray that my crush and his girlfriend are also one of them. Thanks!
Images: Giphy (3); ddlovato/Instagram; khloekardashian/Twitter
It’s been less than a week since the Oscars, and I’ve already forgotten pretty much everything that happened. This year’s ceremony was far from the most exciting, but the one big story we were left with was the alleged love connection between Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper. For months, they’ve had palpable sexual tension at every red carpet and interview, and their Oscars performance just heightened everything. Well, Lady Gaga wants you to know that she’s heard the rumors, and that there’s nothing going on between her and Bradley.
Lady Gaga went on Jimmy Kimmel’s show this week, and she didn’t shy away from addressing the many memes about her alleged relationship with Bradley. When asked about the Oscars performance, she said “People saw love, and guess what, that’s what we wanted you to see! This is a love song, ‘Shallow,’ the movie A Star Is Born, it’s a love story!” She also added “I’m an artist, and I guess we did a good job. Fooled ya!”
Okay, so maybe I’m like way off-base here, but this doesn’t actually sound like the strongest denial that they’ve ever hooked up? Like, she mostly just talked about how they’re actors and artists and it’s a love story and blah, blah, blah, but this is exactly the kind of pretentious artist stuff I expect Lady Gaga to say. If she really wanted to shut everyone up, she could’ve been like “Bradley is in a committed relationship with the mother of his child, and I’ve never seen his penis.” But that’s not what she said!
As I stressed earlier this week, I’ll reiterate that I have no idea if anything is going on between Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga. They might not even like each other as friends! But I’m just saying that Gaga’s comments here feel weirdly wishy-washy to me. Idk, it’s just a feeling.
Gaga also had some harsh words for social media, calling it “the toilet of the internet.” She also said that what “it has done to pop culture is just, like, abysmal.” Okay, I love Lady Gaga, I really do, but she just sounds like the least fun person imaginable. Girl, the whole internet is social media! It’s not the toilet, it’s the whole damn house. Also, if you hate it so much, then get off Instagram and stop complaining!
So, moral of the story, Lady Gaga went on Jimmy Kimmel and said some annoying things that don’t actually prove anything about her and Bradley’s relationship. At this point, we might never know the real truth, and I guess I’m okay with that.
Images: Shutterstock; @ladygaga / Instagram
Ever since Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper started doing press for A Star Is Born last fall, it’s been clear that they have a very special connection with each other. They both respect the work that the other does, and it also really seems like they could be f*cking. Or at least, it really seems like Lady Gaga wants to f*ck Bradley Cooper. The internet has been full of memes and jokes about them being in love for months now, and I’m here to look at what actually might be going on. Of course, I don’t actually know anything about any of this, so please don’t attack me in DMs. I’m just your average person with two eyes and access to the internet.
100 People In A Room
anyone:
lady gaga: THERE CAN BE 100 PEOPLE IN A ROOM AND 99 DON’T BELIEVE IN YOU BUT ALL YOU NEED IS ONE WHO DOES AND BRADLEY WAS THAT ONE FOR ME— ⭐️ (@soulcondition) October 23, 2018
I start my dissertation with the Lady Gaga line heard ’round the world. And that’s because she’s literally said it in interviews and speeches around the world. For someone who has become a global icon for writing her own songs, you’d think she could get a little more creative here. The analogy is that Bradley Cooper has always truly believed in her, even when everyone else didn’t, and no matter how canned this line is, I think Gaga really believes it. She seems like a pretty sincere person most of the time, and I don’t think she would fake her admiration for Bradley.
Body Language
I won’t pretend to be some sort of body language expert from Criminal Minds, but I’m familiar with social interaction. Watch that video compilation above, and tell me with a straight face that Lady Gaga does not want to see that man naked. Well, I would bet money that she’s already seen him naked, even if it was in a platonic scenario, but she wants him. I just know it! This whole awards season, Gaga has interacted with Bradley like he’s some kind of god, and I’m kind of over it. Like, girl, you’re so talented and successful, who cares about this decent-looking white dude! But I’m not here to judge, just to analyze, so let’s continue.
The Tattoo
If you haven’t seen A Star Is Born, fyi that I’m about to spoil something that happens in the first 20 minutes of the movie. You’ll live. The first time Jackson (Bradley Cooper) sees Ally (Lady Gaga), she’s singing “La Vie En Rose” in a drag bar. They lock eyes during the performance, and they’re basically in love from that moment on. Earlier this month, Lady Gaga celebrated Valentine’s Day by getting a “La Vie En Rose”-inspired tattoo down her spinal cord. Gaga obviously has a deep connection to this song, and it seems like it would be closely intertwined with her and Bradley’s relationship. The choice to get the tattoo on Valentine’s Day is especially important, given my next point…
The Breakup
Until recently, Lady Gaga was engaged to agent Christian Carino, but they announced their breakup earlier this month. Speculation began after Gaga appeared without her engagement ring at the Grammys, and her publicist confirmed the news last week. I won’t pretend to know what went down between Lady Gaga and Christian, but we know for sure that the engagement is over. That means Gaga is free to do whatever she wants, but Bradley Cooper is still going strong with Irina Shayk, who is the mother of his child. Sad!
The Oscars
At last night’s Oscars, Lady Gaga was easily one of the biggest stories to follow. As expected, she won her first Oscar for Best Original Song, though A Star Is Born didn’t win in any of the bigger categories. Gaga and Bradley walked the red carpet separately, so Lady Gaga got her diva moment, and Irina Shayk got to keep Bradley on an appropriately short leash. During the actual show, Irina was seated right in the middle of our two alleged lovebirds, which is shady as hell and I’m here for it. However, the most important moment of the night was when the two of them performed “Shallow” together, and it was everything I was hoping for. The performance was great, but the way she looked at him at the end…I can tell you right now homegirl was wet under that gown. There were way more than 100 people in that room, but Bradley was the only one in Gaga’s heart.
The Verdict
The way I see it, it seems extremely likely that Lady Gaga has feelings for Bradley Cooper. Literally all the signs indicate this, and I don’t think she’s that good of an actress. Don’t @ me. To me, the bigger question is whether Brad and Gaga have acted on their forbidden love connection. I won’t make a prediction, partially because I don’t want to get sued, but also because I truly can’t figure it out. This could be a love story for the ages, or they could never be seen together again after last night. Only time will tell!
Images: Shutterstock; @soulcondition / Twitter; Betches / YouTube; @ladygaga / Instagram; Giphy
