LaCroix: a magical calorie-less elixir developed by (I assume) Swedish supermodels who wanted to pass along their skinny hotness to us in the form of flavored water. Obv, we’re all about LaCroix (and pronouncing it La Croo-whaaa to sound bougie AF) and its betchy flavors, but figuring out how to up this glorified seltzer with alcohol is a precious skill. Since we’re, like, really nice, and want you to have the best ever low-cal drinking adventure, here are the actual best LaCroix and alcohol pairings as decided by us.
LaCroix Coconut + Rum
No fucking brainer here—we’re throwing it back to the days of chugging Malibu in our dorms before stumbling into our Friday night shenanigans. LaCroix Coconut may have a slight sunscreen flavor, but mixing it with rum will remind you of the days when it was warm and winter didn’t rule our lives.
LaCroix Berry + Rosé
It’s like the wine spritzers of our youth, fam. The berry flavor plays beautifully with a nice, lush (yes, I said lush) rosé. Plus, the lil happy bubbles make this a low cal and low alcohol choice if you’re looking for a summer sippin’ and not so much a blackout adventure. But if you’re looking for a blackout adventure, pair LaCroix Berry with Three Olives rosé vodka, and we’ll see you on the other side.
LaCroix Cran-Raspberry + Vodka
Remember when we used to order cran-vodkas and never look back? Let this combo take you back to that magical time and experience the subsequent blackout that comes with it.
LaCroix Peach Pear + Tequila
If you’re all about tequila—and we can’t blame you, what with Cinco De Drinko on the horizon and all—pair your shots with LaCroix’s Peach Pear flavor. For some reason, this combo works and reminds us of a really cheap margarita, which, respect.
LaCroix Pamplemousse + Gin
Gin, what with its pine tree flavor and potential to make you a psycho, pairs well with the most beloved LaCroix flavor, Pamplemousse. It also plays well with Mure Pepino, the elusive berry and cucumber flavor. If you’re boring, though, it works with Lime, too. Duh.
LaCroix Cerise Limón + Whiskey
Whiskey is on my no-no list, but it doesn’t have to be on yours if you pair it with the right shit. Think of a whiskey sour or an Old-Fashioned—this cherry lime LaCroix is going to be great with a sweet and smoky whiskey.
LaCroix Apricot + Prosecco
If you like piña coladas mimosas and brunch, this is the combo for you. Instead of sugar-heavy fruit juice, mix your Prosecco or Champagne with LaCroix Apricot.
LaCroix Mango + Reisling
Sweet, summery, and tropical, the combo of a sweet (or crisp) Reisling and LaCroix’s Mango works like a poor man’s white sangria. It’s perfect for sippin’ on the beach or while you’re pretending to enjoy the summer heat.
LaCroix Tangerine + Limoncello
Limoncello is already sweet enough to drink on its own, so combining it with some LaCroix Tangerine for an orangey twist will bring the citrus to the next level. It’ll cut the syrupy sweetness of the Limoncello, too, if that isn’t your thing.
LaCroix Lemon + Lemon Vodka
Don’t have lemon vodka? Whatever. Vodka works with literally everything because it’s the best alcohol ever bestowed upon us. This is literally a more bougie vodka soda, so, you’re welcome.
Images: Chris Abney / Unsplash; Amazon (10)
So, according to my calculations (and Wikipedia) LaCroix was made as a down-to-earth alternative to the “snobbish” Perrier. I’m pretty sure calling it LaCroix was their first mistake in trying to establish an accessible brand, mainly because LaCroix is the only word I have in my French vocabulary besides fromage. Cue DJ Khaled, because LaCroix really played themselves. Just like your alcoholic drink of choice tells me everything I need to know about you and more, so does your favorite LaCroix flavor. These personality predictions are 100% true and backed by science, and by science I mean I DM’d Bill Nye on Twitter to get his seal of approval and he hasn’t responded. Drink on, betches!
Pure
The Zodiac Killer is your role model. Your favorite pastime is sipping on an ice cold can of Pure LaCroix after murdering every blonde girl in your sorority. You use your iPhone without a case because you are truly disturbed and have nothing to lose.
Coconut
You take your shoes and socks off on flights and clap when the plane lands. Your go-to workout shirt says “Your workout is my warmup,” and you call Gatorade flavors by their real name. Probably a cop.
Lemon/Lime
You never forget a birthday and check in with your grandparents on a semi-regular basis. You won’t sign me into that 8am no matter how many times I offer to Venmo you $10. NARC.
Tangerine
Whoever said tangerine is the new orange was seriously disturbed.
Orange/Cran-Raspberry
You’re not totally sure how to pronounce La Croix but can definitely vouch for “how pretty the cans are”. You were raised in a household of Polar Seltzer and are scared to try different flavors cause, idk, they might kill you or something.
NiCola
I get that you’re embarrassed to drink soda in public, but I think getting caught with a can of NiCola is arguably worse. I’m impressed that LaCroix was able to bottle the exact taste of a McDonald’s fountain Diet Coke that’s been sitting in a hot car for 5 hours.
Cerise Limón Cúrate
If I hear you talking about your semester in Barthelona one more time, I am going to call the cops.
Passionfruit
The Cosmopolitan Snapchat feed is your main source for world news, and you’re still praying that Drake will answer your DMs. Maybe start wearing less and going out more?
Berry
You are constantly having an existential crisis because Mercury is in retrograde. And no, don’t get bangs.
Peach-Pear
One time you lost ‘Odds Are’ and had to drink bong water, and uh, actually kind of liked it.
Pamplemousse
If you were a character in The Office, you would definitely be a part of The Finer Things Club. Conor Kennedy tried grinding on you once, but you willfully declined because you didn’t want Taylor Swift’s sloppy seconds.
Apricot
Ah, pamplemousse’s annoying vegan cousin. You watched What The Health once and won’t shut up about it. Seriously, stop. No one likes the bitch at brunch who makes a hangover worse by scolding others for getting eggs benny. Let me and my hollandaise sauce be.
