If there’s one thing the pandemic has illuminated, it’s that celebrities really aren’t just like us, and people are growing sick and tired of the rich and famous trying to pretend otherwise. Just take your tubloads of money and chill in your mansions and sit this one out. Well, perhaps the only thing worse than, say, a celebrity lamenting how they got bamboozled into buying a $13,000 bottle of wine (when they are worth about $75 million) is a celebrity trying on life as a regular person for sport—which Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott did as a fun little family bonding activity, when they got Stormi a yellow school bus for her birthday.
On Tuesday, Kylie Jenner shared some pictures of Stormi to her IG Story (as she does). In the first slide, Stormi seems to be hugging a yellow school bus—yes, a regular ol’ yellow school bus, like the ones we took to school. Not a euphemism or anything. Not even a school bus that’s been modified by Xzibit. Anyway, Kylie wrote over the picture, “All Stormi has been talking about is riding a big yellow bus. Daddy surprised her.”
The next few images show Stormi walking, alone, down the aisle of the bus. I would like to reiterate again that this bus has those big maroon leather seats we were all tortured with on hot days, where you and 1-2 friends would cram yourselves in (because the seats were not separated), legs sticking to the fake leather. Why am I explaining this, we all remember what school buses were like! Kylie isn’t reading this.
We don’t know if Travis bought or rented the bus (although I’m hoping he rented it, because what the hell would they do with a school bus after this photo opp—donate it to a school maybe?), but the appropriately named website bus.com cites that renting a school bus can cost from $389-850 per day. Buying a bus can range from $90,000-290,000. I already broke my brain trying to figure out what a $13,000 bottle of wine is worth in layman’s money to a person worth $75 million, so there is absolutely no way I am going to sit here and figure out how many fractions of a penny it would be like for Travis Scott (who is worth $50 million) to buy or rent a school bus—but just know that it was probably worth less to them than the gum stuck underneath the seats of the bus.
Now, you can’t put a price tag on a child’s happiness, but what’s truly priceless is this entire situation, which I can’t decide between being deeply hilarious or profoundly sad. Probably a little bit of both.
First, as many Twitter users have pointed out, it’s absurd that Kylie and Travis would spend any amount of money to get their child an experience most of us peasants got for free (minus the cost of property taxes, I guess). And the experience they bought for fun was a largely unpleasant one, no less!
Also, seeing Stormi wander down that big, yellow bus alone is kind of just sad. They couldn’t
rent invite along any friends for her to sit with? Did she go anywhere in the bus or just take pictures, the way wannabe influencers can pay a small sum to pose in front of private jets?
Also, was it ever about the physical vehicle of the bus, or was it more about what the bus represents? I clearly don’t live in that house (a fact I am reminded of via court order… just kidding) but, seeing as Stormi has evidently never been on a school bus before, she probably learned about it from TV and movies. I kind of have a feeling it’s not about the bus, but about the regular-person experience of going to school. You know, waiting at the stop with your friends. Sitting next to your friends. Chatting about the day ahead with your friends. Having friends to whom you are not related by blood. The fact that her parents heard this desire and interpreted it in the most rich-person way possible is like a discarded plotline on Arrested Development, or Marie Antoinette building a fake village at Versailles so she could “escape from the drudgery of royalty.”
I guess it’s true that the grass is always greener, something I will whisper to myself when I’m crammed into a stranger’s armpit on the M60. Now have Stormi cosplay that she woke up late and needs to ask her mom, who is still in pajamas and hasn’t had her coffee yet, to drive her to school.
Images: kyliejenner / Instagram (2)
This weekend was one of the biggest events of the year, and no, I’m not talking about the Super Bowl. Saturday marked Stormi Webster’s 2nd birthday, and in true Kardashian-Jenner fashion, Kylie Jenner threw her what is possibly the most over-the-top party in history. Last year, Kylie and Travis Scott set a pretty high bar for ridiculous birthdays with the original Stormi World, but they managed to completely outdo themselves this year. Basically, Stormi World 2 makes all of Gatsby’s parties look like lame backyard barbecues.
This year, instead of just one lavish themed area, we got three. Of course, there was the terrifying Stormi World, but party guests also got to explore Trolls World and Frozen World, which were all 10 times fancier than any party I’ve ever been to. Obviously, most Kardashian-Jenner parties aren’t exactly normal, but this one feels especially ridiculous. I’m positive they spent more than my annual salary on this party, and Stormi probably still won’t remember anything. But anything for Instagram! Let’s go through some of the more absurd parts of Stormi World 2.
The Stormi Slide
The giant inflatable Stormi entrance tunnel? So last year. This year, they added a giant inflatable slide, complete with a massive inflatable Stormi at the top. These slides are fun AF, but the Stormi head is really giving me horror movie vibes. Like, if this party was Us, this would definitely be the cursed area where your tether attacks you.
The Wearable Stormi Head
The nightmare continues with a smaller, yet even scarier Stormi head. This one is like a mascot/bobblehead that someone is wearing, and it’s honestly horrific. I practically need therapy from seeing this, so I shudder to think what all this is doing to Stormi. Also, I need to know who is under the giant Stormi head, and how much they’re being paid. I really hope all the people working this event made a lot of money for putting up with this rich BS.
In Kylie’s Instagram stories from the party, you could clearly hear that they were playing Travis Scott music in the Stormi World section. We heard bits of multiple songs, so it seems like that was pretty much the playlist. Now, I love me some Travis Scott (I have Astroworld saved on my phone), but I wouldn’t say that it’s the most appropriate music for a two-year-old’s birthday party. It’s like every actor has certain movies they’re not going to show their kids until they’re older—Stormi should probably steer clear of her dad’s music until she’s at least 15. My mom confiscated my Usher CD when I was 10, and I turned out okay.
The Stormi Claw Machine
Are those… whoopee cushions with Stormi’s face on them? I don’t think they actually are, but that’s kinda what it looks like. But really, what are they? Little pillows? Non-helium balloons? Regardless, it’s super f*cking weird to have people play an arcade game that involves snatching your daughter’s face with a metal claw. Just put some of the Toy Story aliens in there and call it a day, Kylie—not everything has to have Stormi’s face on it!
The Stormi Shop
Of course, any kid’s party worth attending has party favors, but usually they’re like… little bags of candy. Not at Stormi World!! This party had an entire merch tent called the ~Stormi Shop~, which had t-shirts, hoodies, slinkies, and more of those things that look like whoopee cushions (pretty sure they’re pillows??). Guests could tie-dye their own Stormi World merch, or they could probably have a servant do it for them if they didn’t want to get their hands dirty. This is extremely extra, but I’m not gonna lie and say I wouldn’t love one of those tie-dye sweatshirts. You can never have enough hoodies!
The Giant Trolls
This is not the first time Kylie has hired giant Trolls to come hang out with Stormi, as Poppy stopped by the house on Christmas Eve. I guess Stormi likes them, but at two years old, I would’ve been scared sh*tless of these big-ass Trolls. Let’s be real, they would make me uncomfortable even now. The Frozen area of the party also had character appearances from Olaf and Elsa, but somehow the Trolls feel so much weirder.
The Environmental Impact
Okay, so I don’t know exactly what went into putting on this event, and maybe (hopefully) some of this stuff was done using sustainable practices. But I’m not so confident about that. And no matter what, it can’t be that green to basically build Disneyland for one night and then tear it all down the next day. It’s pretty depressing to think about how much waste was probably created from this event, because I’m pretty sure the all the props in the Trolls World jungle aren’t recyclable. My childhood birthday parties at the bowling alley might not have been this cool, but at least those parties didn’t have the environmental footprint of a small country.
At the end of the day, Stormi World 2 was obviously ridiculous, and I kind of feel like that’s the whole point. The Kardashians have set a precedent for throwing these wild parties, and now it’s like they just do it because it’s their thing. If they’re going to keep doing this year after year, the least they could do is send an invite my way. I’m really good at tie-dye!
Images: kyliejenner / Instagram
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It’s been over a month since we first found out about Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott’s breakup, and I’m finally ready to admit that it’s probably real. Even though I was highly skeptical about the timing of the split with Travis’ new song, things between them have been pretty quiet lately. It seems like they’re still on good terms when it comes to parenting Stormi, but that’s all that’s going on. Fine, I’ll accept that I was wrong, and the breakup wasn’t just a publicity stunt.
But now that the dust has settled from Kylie’s split with Travis, there are already lots of rumors about who she is seeing these days, and uh, they’re saying it’s Drake. That’s right, Kylie Jenner has been spending time with Champagne Papi himself, and I really don’t know how to feel about it. On one hand, this isn’t that shocking, because Drake has known the Kardashian-Jenner family for a long time, and he’s obviously Kylie’s type because he is a rapper. But on the other hand, why the f*ck would Drake, who has worked with Travis Scott in the past, want to start seeing Kylie just weeks after she broke up with his friend?! That seems messy, even by these people’s standards.
But let’s back up a little, because we don’t know for sure that anything is really going on here. There are a lot of contradicting sources happening here, so let’s go through what’s being reported on both sides. The one thing that’s not in question at all is what kicked off these rumors: Kylie attending Drake’s birthday party. The party took place in Hollywood a couple weeks ago, and at the time it was mostly notable because Adele was there looking extremely hot. But Kylie was there too, and she also attended his Halloween party last week, where, according to a People source, she stayed “super late.”
People spoke to at least three sources about the pair, with one confirming that Kylie and Drake “have been spending time together recently,” and adding that “They’ve been friends for a long time and Drake is very close to the family.” This we already knew, and both Kylie and Kendall attended Drake’s New Year’s party at the beginning this year. But another People source claimed that things have change, saying that they’ve been seeing each other “romantically” since Kylie’s split with Travis last month. And I go half a year in between dates…
But wait! There are a bunch of anonymous sources here, and they’re not all in agreement over what’s actually going on. One source told People that Kylie and Drake are “just friends,” and a second also denied that they’re dating. So basically, there are way too many anonymous sources talking about this, and no one knows what’s actually happening. We know that Kylie and Drake are friends, and it seems pretty certain that they’ve been hanging out recently, but this could be platonic, a full-blown relationship, or basically anywhere in between.
Whatever is happening, Us Weekly spoke to yet another anonymous source, who commented on Travis’ feelings about this. When asked about the Drake situation, the source said, “Travis harbors no ill will to any of Kylie’s friends,” which is pretty vague, but okay. If Travis was actually super upset about this, he probably wouldn’t say anything about it, and this source doesn’t confirm things one way or the other.
Honestly, I would be surprised if Kylie and Drake are anything more than friends with benefits, but you never know what crazy sh*t is going to happen with this family. I mean, there was a time when it seemed like a crazy rumor that Kim Kardashian might be dating Kanye West, and now they’re married with four kids. You truly never know with these people. For now, I guess we’ll just enjoy what the 750 anonymous sources have to say, and try to make some sense of things. I’m sure Kris Jenner is working overtime leaking information to all of these press outlets, making sure that we have absolutely no idea what’s going on. Can’t wait to see the
manufactured real truth five months from now on Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
Earlier this week, the celebrity world was rocked with the news that Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott are taking a break from their relationship. This wasn’t the kind of breakup that prompted whiney tweets about how “love is dead,” but it did come as kind of a surprise. Despite rumors that Travis cheated earlier this year, he and Kylie have recently seemed like one of the more stable Kardashian Kouples. When the sources started saying earlier this week that they were on a break, it didn’t necessarily seem like things were over for good.
But then. On Tuesday night, Kylie was spotted hanging out with none other than her ex, Tyga. To help express my unbiased journalistic take on this development, I’m going to employ the help of a gif:
Kylie, WHY? Personally, I’m not sad about her breaking up with Travis Scott, as long as they can still do whatever is best for their daughter. But Tyga? Kylie really needs Jesus, because this is just not the way.
According to E! News sources, Kylie and Tyga have stayed in touch since they broke up in 2017, but they haven’t been super close. That probably has something to do with the fact that Kylie was basically married to Travis Scott for the last two years. On Tuesday night, Kylie was hanging with her friends (Stassie was there, Jordyn obviously wasn’t), and Tyga invited her to come out with his friends. They hung out for a while, and then Kylie was apparently seen showing up to his recording studio later that night.
The sources are saying that nothing “romantic” happened, but honestly, why else would you be at your ex’s recording studio at 2am? They also added that Kylie seeing Tyga wasn’t “an intentional jab at Travis,” but like, come on. No matter what kind of terms Kylie and Travis are on right now, there’s no way that you don’t consider the optics of hanging out with your ex 24 hours after your breakup goes public. Kylie may not be a Rhodes scholar, but even she is not that obtuse.
Currently, Kylie and Tyga don’t follow each other on Instagram, but this family is always weird about who they do and don’t follow. But if they start following each other in the next few days, we’ll really know something is up. Also, let’s not forget that Tyga has a kid with Blac Chyna, who also has a kid with Rob Kardashian, who is Kylie’s half-brother. I forgot about that until like 10 minutes ago, and now I’m even more upset with the possibility that Kylie and Tyga might get back together.
Obviously, it’s not my job to make Kylie’s relationship choices for her, no matter how much it should be my job, but I really feel like she should probably take some time for herself. She obviously has her huge family to support her through a breakup, and jumping into a rebound usually isn’t the right call. Sources close to Kylie say that she really just wants the traditional married life, and to have more kids, but she just turned 22, so there’s no reason she needs to hurry into another relationship.
Whatever is actually going on with Kylie’s love triangle, I’m sure Kris Jenner is working overtime behind the scenes to make sure it’ll be a compelling TV narrative in four to six months. This is what they do best, and obviously I’m watching Kylie’s every move. Just please, please don’t mistake Tyga for husband material! It’s a trap!!
Y’all, it’s been a wild few weeks for the Kardashians, what with Jordyn Woods being excommunicated from the family and Kylie calling out Travis Scott for cheating. Kris has been working overtime, and honestly, I applaud her efforts. It’s no secret that Kris Jenner will do literally anything for a buck, so I would not be surprised if the recent blast of Kardashian scandals in the media, in fact, originated from one of Kris’s chardonnay-induced fever dreams. As someone who prides herself in Keeping Up, I like to think that I can spot a true scandal from a Kris Jenner-scripted scandal. That said, lately it’s been hard to tell what’s real and what Kris had her intern pull from their MFA short story collection. So put on your tinfoil hats, betches, because I’m about to deep-dive into every scandal I believe Kris Jenner concocted for PR purposes.
Let’s start with the most recent development on the KarJenner front: #JordynGate. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the scandal, then IDK what to tell you other than I’d like to throw spoiled fruit at you in the town square because MY GOD how can you not have heard about this by now? Basically, Kylie’s BFF/Stormi’s live-in nanny, Jordyn Woods, hooked up with Khloé’s baby daddy, Tristan Thompson, and the internet promptly lost its sh*t over it. They hooked up two weeks ago at a house party and the tea is STILL being spilled. In the midst of all the drama, the Kardashians have closed rank around Khloé and have committed the ultimate act of petty: unfollowing Jordyn Woods on Instagram and making her lip kit collab more affordable than a Wet n Wild lip stain. To retaliate, Jordyn is taking to Jada Pinkett Smith’s talk show today (!!!) to talk about the scandal, despite the fact that she reportedly has an ironclad NDA with the fam. And while I absolutely called out sick today to watch said tell-all, that doesn’t mean that I don’t on some level think that this entire thing was orchestrated by Kris Jenner for better KUWTK ratings. Let’s examine the evidence!
EXHIBIT A: The infamous hookup took place at a house party where CONVENIENTLY there is no photographic evidence of said hookup, just the word of a guy who thrives on messy drama. Also, what is the motive for Jordyn hooking up with Tristan? A half a million more Instagram followers? I would argue that Jordyn was already gaining fame as Kylie Jenner’s BFF. Wouldn’t it be easier to ride the coattails of your BFF’s fame through lavish paid vacations and lip kit deals rather than fake an orgasm with the Cavalier’s bench warmer? No, sh*t isn’t lining up here…
EXHIBIT B: The scandal CONVENIENTLY broke before the newest season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians aired, which is suspicious AF because last season had historically low ratings. Are we really to believe that this hookup would take place right when the show is desperate for a much-needed PR stunt and everyone is just supposed to chalk it up as a happy coincidence? Are we??
I 100 percent believe Kris could be the mastermind behind this scandal. Think about it. The show is pretty irrelevant at this point. We have 24/7 access to these people via social media; why do we need to tune in every goddamn Sunday when we could watch the exact same storyline play out in real time via Kim’s obnoxiously long Snapchat stories? Nah. I’m calling bullsh*t on this one.
2. Stormi’s Birth Announcement
We all remember the year Kylie had
the best kept secret in Hollywood a teen pregnancy and then CONVENIENTLY announced the birth of her child via an 11 minute long YouTube video on one of the most important days for PR/marketing: the Super Bowl. Once again, the Kardashians claimed this was just “convenient timing.” It’s not like Kris was poking holes in condoms or hiding her daughters’ birth control so she could have three grandbabies in three months, right? And she certainly wouldn’t have Kylie induced early so they could announce the secret baby on a day when millions of people would be on social media so they could capitalize FOR FREE on media coverage that other companies paid millions for. Yeah, that doesn’t sound like Kris at all…
3. Khloé’s Paternity
This was a long con to run, even for Kris. The mystery behind who fathered Khloé Kardashian is still being investigated to this day. It’s been a longtime rumor that Robert Kardashian Sr. isn’t Khloé’s father, and tbh, if you have working eyes then it’s not hard to see that there might be some truth to that rumor. Some people think Kris had an affair with OJ Simpson, while others believe Khloé’s dad is Kris’s longtime hairdresser Alex Roldan. But the speculation has not stopped once in the 10+ years since KUWTK first aired. Whenever things would get stale on KUWTK, Kris would suggest the family take DNA tests “just for fun” or a random “source” would all of the sudden come forward with new information regarding Khloé’s dad. Khloé’s paternity is like Kris’s trump card. Whenever she’s bored or the media hasn’t run a story about her spawn for five f*cking seconds, she whips this scandal back out for old time’s sake.
4. Kim’s Sex Tape
And to bring this full circle, let’s bring it back to the very first Kardashian scandal to ever grace our television screens: Kim’s sex tape. The sex tape is
arguably objectively what put Kim Kardashian on the map. Before the sex tape, Kim’s biggest claim to fame was being third in line to be Paris Hilton’s best friend and first in line to organize her Juicy tracksuit collection.
Never forget where you come from, Kim.
After the sex tape, she had her very own show on E!, magazine spreads, and people actually started shopping at Dash. Now, Kim is dining at the f*cking White House, and all of this happened because of A SEX TAPE. There’s no arguing that Kris Jenner spun PR gold out of what should otherwise have been a stain on their family name, but I have a deep suspicion that Kris Jenner leaked the tape to begin with. It’s public knowledge that the porn company Vivid Entertainment released Kim’s sex tape Kim Kardashian, Superstar, but who sent the tape to Vivid Entertainment?? It could have been Ray J, Kim’s boyfriend at the time and co-star in the video, or maybe it could be the woman who’s idea of “success” is landing your first Playboy cover. I’m just saying.
So, there you have it, Betches. Everything that you’ve ever loved about the Kardashian’s messy AF personal lives has actually been scripted by one Kris Jenner herself. Kris, if you’re reading this, you’re doing amazing sweetie!
Images: Giphy (3)
There’s something in the water in Calabasas. After an entire week of dealing with the sh*t storm that is the Jordyn Woods/Tristan Thompson scandal, TMZ reports that Travis Scott cheated on Kylie Jenner. To be fair, Travis’ rep denies the cheating rumors, but you really have to wonder…
So apparently Travis postponed his concert in Buffalo on Thursday night due to “illness,” or as the rest of us call it, “the crushing realization that you will have to spend time in Buffalo.” But TMZ is reporting that’s not the case. According to their sources, Travis flew back to LA on Wednesday night (see: my earlier explanation), and it’s there that Kylie discovered evidence that Travis cheated.
Last week, news broke that Kylie Jenner’s long-time best friend, Jordyn Woods, had reportedly made out with Tristan Thompson, Khloé Kardashian’s boyfriend and baby daddy, at a house party. The Kardashians have reportedly cut Jordyn off, but except for a handful of cryptic social media posts, have yet to officially comment on the situation.
Meanwhile, Jordyn is expected to give an interview with Jada Pinkett Smith tomorrow at 9am PST.
We don’t yet know what this evidence is real, or if it even exists. We only know that the men close to the Kardashians cannot he trusted. Kanye, WYA?
More to come…
Images: Shutterstock; Giphy
If you’re in a relationship, Valentine’s Day is really the one day of the year when you have a free pass to be obnoxious on social media. As a single person, it’s fun to complain about everyone posting their flowers and chocolate, but I get it. But while you were posting a throwback photo of you and your SO with a cheesy caption, some of our favorite celebrities were out here getting truly wild yesterday. Here’s a rundown of some of the most extra celebrity posts this Valentine’s Day, and most of them are exactly who you’d expect.
Less than one week after Stormi World broke the internet, Kylie Jenner is back with another over-the-top holiday display. Travis Scott is currently away on tour, but that didn’t stop him from arranging a series of heart-shaped rose arches that probably cost more than I make in a year. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if Kylie coordinated these herself, because she seems like the kind of woman who would want to be in control of her Valentine’s Day. It’s unclear if there was a gift or something waiting at the end of the display, but it was probably something else I can’t afford.
If the name “Randall Emmett” still doesn’t ring a bell for you, he’s Lala Kent’s fiancé, thus he’s better known as “Rand” or just “My Man.” As we know, Lala is currently filming a new movie, and she got surprised on the set with a very large vase of flowers. Like, she’s sitting in the courtroom set in costume in full WWII Germany-era clothing, and they bring the flowers in. I guess this is romantic, but I’m pretty sure you’d get fired for pulling this sh*t if your man wasn’t the one financing the movie.
We can always count on BachelorNation’s most annoying couple to bless us with dumb content. Earlier this week, we learned that Jared and Ashley are writing a children’s book (yikes), and if Ashley’s V-day caption is any indication, we’re in for a real treat. While posting the sappiest photo of her and her fiancé, she writes a nice caption about how if you’re a lonely loser, you should still have hope! Thanks so much Ashley, your support really means the world. Can’t wait to preorder the book!
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To the single people who are feeling lonely, left out, or longing for a special someone while scrolling on Instagram today. I promise you will be with your right person when it’s meant to happen and then you’ll realize you shouldn’t have stressed so much about it because the wait so worth it! I know this is cliche, but it’s also true and it take from someone who was single for almost 30 years. It just takes one person to change everything! I love you more than I could ever express, @jaredhaibon.
Considering that Kanye West rented out an entire baseball stadium to propose to Kim Kardashian, it makes sense that he goes way too far for Valentine’s Day. First of all, if I went anywhere near that room, there is a 100% chance that I would accidentally shatter all those vases. Cute gesture, but I’m f*cking clumsy. Also, where is all of their furniture? Did Kanye have a moving company take away all the furniture just for the afternoon? Also, Kim K loooooves Kenny G, and I can’t think of anything that turns me on less.
NO BIG DEAL KENNY G IN MY LIVING ROOM!!! Happy Valentines Day ??? pic.twitter.com/A1GD0UlEwu
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) February 14, 2019
There’s nothing more eye roll-inducing than a Valentine’s Day engagement, and it’s no big surprise that it came from Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom. They’ve been together for a long time (not counting the period when they were broken up), so it makes sense for them to finally be engaged. I’m not so sure how I feel about that ring (actually, I’m sure, it looks like a Ring Pop), but I’m definitely not feeling this weird closeup angle or Orlando’s greasy-looking hair. Whatever, I’m happy for them I guess.
Images: @kyliejenner / Instagram; @randallemmettfilms / Instagram; @ashley_iaconetti / Instagram; @kimkardashian / Twitter; @katyperry / Instagram
This Sunday is Super Bowl LIII, and I’ve spent this week desperately searching for any reason to care. I may not know much about the teams, or the rules, or literally anything else, but of course I’ve managed to pinpoint the one Kardashian connection to this whole thing. If I have one talent in this life, it’s spending way too much time thinking about the Kardashians. This theory could actually be bigger than Kylie announcing Stormi’s birth during last year’s Super Bowl, because fans think Travis Scott will propose to Kylie during this year’s halftime show.
As you may know, Maroon 5 is headlining this year’s Super Bowl halftime show. While my mom is very excited about this, I’m prepared to chop my ears off if I have to hear “Girls Like You” one more time. Luckily, they’ll be joined by Big Boi (of Outkast fame) and Travis Scott. If I have to hear “Sugar,” at least I’ll also get to hear “Sicko Mode.” You win some, you lose some. But in this situation, Travis Scott might be bringing more to the table than just his music.
From the second I heard he was performing, I was hoping that Kylie Jenner would show up at some Super Bowl-related events. While we don’t have confirmed details of anything yet, or even proof that Kylie will be in the same state as Travis, there’s a major theory gaining steam that Travis Scott will propose, and he and Kylie might get engaged during the big game. As long as they’re not already married, this honestly seems very possible, and I’m prepared to tell you why *dusts off laptop, opens up Powerpoint*.
First of all, Travis Scott recently told Rolling Stone that when he proposes to Kylie, it needs to be amazing: “We’ll get married soon. I just gotta sturdy up—I gotta propose in a fire way.” If I were Travis, I would buy an island in the Bahamas and propose in a ~fyre~ way, but I guess he’s not as into true crime documentaries as me.
Besides the Super Bowl being a massive occasion with tens of millions of people watching, it’s also a day with personal significance for Travis and Kylie. Last year, after basically going into hiding for the better part of a year, Kylie chose Super Bowl Sunday as the perfect time to drop the pregnancy reveal heard ’round the world. I personally remember crying while watching this video on a Subway platform, because that’s where my priorities are. Judge me all you want, I’m at peace with my life choices.
If you’re like me, this is potential Super Bowl proposal is the most exciting sports news you’ve heard in years. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. People are even betting on whether the proposal will go down on Sunday. I’m no expert at gambling, but right now the odds are +180 YES, and -220 NO, according to Monster Roster, an algorithm-driven betting service. My sources tell me that this means you should bet YES, because then you’ll win more if you’re right. Or you can just say f*ck it and get in on your boyfriend’s actual Super Bowl betting pool, because I don’t really know how any of this works.
We’ll be on high alert this Sunday for any proposal shenanigans, and you should be too. This year has already been stressful AF, so I really need this to happen right now. Come on Kylie, don’t let us down!
Images: Shutterstock; Giphy; Kylie Jenner / YouTube