It is Day 54 of quarantine. I haven’t showered in a super long time. I’ve read everything on Betches, AND Buzzfeed, AND all of my social media feeds. I’ve watched basically all of Netflix and settled on The Office yet again. Also, have you seen Never Have I Ever? It’s fantastic but needs like, 30 more episodes. Times are dark, guys. As I obsessively scroll Instagram for literally any *ANY* new information, I see a little something from our dear Photoshop Fail Friend, Kylie Jenner.
Now, Kylie has been in some hot water recently because she went out in public without her paid paparazzi, and the photos were very normal. I’m pretty confused as to why people were surprised by this. Guys, NO ONE is a 24/7 thirst trap. It takes a lot of makeup and posing to look like Kylie Jenner, and it sounds exhausting tbh. We’re all in quarantine anyway, let her buy her chips in peace.
The way that Quarantine has turned Kylie Jenner back into a white girl pic.twitter.com/FQjlTEY95F
— B. Velvet (@BeyonceLeague) April 20, 2020
If anything, I love this, because it shows what we’ve been saying with this article series all along: celebs, they’re just like us! And it takes a ton of Photoshop, Facetune, creative angles, and contours to look like a celeb.
Of course, Kyle couldn’t just let it go and be cool, and has been desperate ever since to remind us that she’s actually super hot when she tries. I think it would have been a way better power move to just let it be. But as a Kardashian/Jenner they always need to look supernatural, so she’s been posting pretty frequent thirst traps since.
So then she posted these:
She’s all, “Look at me, you poors! I am rich and thin and have a pool!” However, Kylie’s new house seems to have super f*cking weird pool.
Because in every photo, the structural integrity of the pool seems to completely fall apart whenever it’s near Kylie. Also known as the Kardashian Vortex.
Here’s the thing. Yes, water warps perspective, but it definitely does not warp the portion of the pool structure clearly OUT of the water. I thought these were pretty bad, guys. First, it gives me secondhand shame to picture Kylie posing all over her pool with probably her housekeeper taking 4,000 snapshots of her so she can prove she’s sexy to undo the chip pics. It’s just embarrassing. Like, enjoy your life and chill out. But it makes it even more embarrassing that she then painstakingly dragged her pics around in Facetune in order to get Barbie proportions and messed her pool up in the process. But then it gets worse.
Because this is actually her second post of said photoshoot. The first post included this image that was cropped differently:
Kylie you are the worst using photoshop pic.twitter.com/eoGOsG0BqA
— Leo (@wichocantu98) April 28, 2020
Where you can clearly see THERE IS A GIANT CHUNK missing from her pool, that also surrounds her ass. I mean, what the hell was she editing for this to happen?
So there you have it. At least Kylie’s grotesque editing of her body is the one constant in our lives in these uncertain times.
Did you notice Kylie’s messed up pool immediately? Are you now a pro at spotting these Fails now? What other Photoshop abuse have you seen lately? Do you agree that Kylie should be allowed to buy chips without having a posed photoshoot? LMK!
Images: kyliejenner / Instagram; beyonceleague, wichocantu98 / Twitter
Kylie Jenner, Resident Photoshop Failer, is at it again. We’ve watched Kylie transform from normal, pretty, cool teenager to a plastic surgery butterfly. But somehow after thousands of dollars of surgery, Kylie still feels the need to majorly warp her body. Guys, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, money does not buy self-esteem. I highly recommend Kylie puts down the Facetune and invests some cash in a really great therapist. Seriously, therapy is amazing, I think everyone needs therapy, tbh.
But anyway. Kylie posted these gorg photos where she looks like a literal Barbie doll. Or wax figure.
When I see photos like this, right off the bat I assume they’re Photoshopped. It’s just not a realistic body option. And then, if somehow it isn’t, (like Kim K at the Met Gala last year), then it’s 400 pounds of Spanx and glue and God knows what else to keep this body together. Which sounds hard and pointless considering she’d be just as gorgeous with a realistic waist size (and probably a lot more comfortable).
But don’t worry guys, because someone sent me receipts.
This is from the same evening, in the same dress. This looks like an Instagram story of some sort? Unclear. Her face looks totally different, but also, it’s not a fair comparison since this photo is clearly not posed. But I can’t help noticing—her body looks great. She’s clearly in awesome shape. But you know what else? IT LOOKS LIKE A NORMAL BODY. This is a girl who works out (I’ve seen her at my gym, actually), and has great curves. Sure, some may be surgically enhanced, but it doesn’t look bad or crazy.
So why do this to your photos?
Here’s my shortlist of edits she made: thinned her face, thinned her neck, amped up the color, added makeup/eyelashes, blew up her lips, shrunk her shoulder width, left her boobs as is (hey, she’s only 21, they’re still upright!), majorly cinched in her waist, blew out her hips, thinned out her arms.
It’s clearly not just an angle issue, both photos are completely straight on body-wise. It’s just another example that if someone’s body on Insta looks too over-the-top to be real, it probably is. Does anyone actually think the insanely thin waist looks good? Every celebrity or Instagram model that looks like this, all I say in my head is, “Wowwww she’s had a lot of work done”, or “Facetuned, next”. I’ve never once seen someone’s body like this and assumed it was real, or even goals. It looks like a Betty Boop cartoon character. But I know that a lot of people on Instagram don’t think the same way I do, and they may feel sad about themselves because they don’t look the way a celebrity appears on Instagram (even when THAT CELEBRITY THEMSELVES DOESN’T EVEN LOOK LIKE THAT).
Do you guys find these types of edits attractive? I still don’t really get why they exist. Especially because a lot of these celebs are on TV, where we can clearly see this isn’t their body. Not to mention, plenty of paparazzi photos that reveal the truth. Is this goals to anyone? Why? Do you feel like anyone really gives a sh*t about your waist size? Everyone is generally too obsessed with their own bodies to care about anyone else’s.
I would love to see the original unedited photo—I’m sure it looks just as pretty and there’s no need to promote unrealistic body image to the millions of people that support her.
Images: Kylie Jenner / Photoshop