It is September of 2017 and there is only one thing on everyone’s mind: the collapse go global democracy Kylie Jenner’s supposed pregnancy. Is she pregnant? Who’s the father? Was this all a publicity stunt? Is there a God and if there is, why does he let his creations live in such uncertainty? Well, thanks to Caitlyn Jenner, we may have the answer to at least one of those questions. Caitlyn told The Sun on Monday, “All I can tell you is that it was some time ago.”
Okay so not exactly a due date, but what is the “it” Caitlyn is referring to, if not Kylie’s supposed pregnancy? What could have happened “some time ago” if not one of Kylie’s eggs being successfully fertilized by Tyga’s Travis Scott’s sperm?
Apart from Caitlyn, the only other member of the Kardashian clan to give us any clue as to the status of Kylie’s womb is her momager, Kris Jenner, who told Ryan Seacrest “Kylie’s not confirming anything.”
Honestly, this is some pretty shady and secretive behavior from a family that is literally famous for exposing their every poo to a national audience. Why all the shadiness? Is it because their love and respect for Kylie during this time outweighs their need for media attention?
Lololololol nah.
Stop everything and take a fucking Xanax immediately because I have some disturbing exciting news: Kylie Jenner, the 20-year-old Bratz doll come to life, is reportedly pregnant with Travis Scott’s baby. Yep, that’s right. While her ex Tyga is slumming it with a Kim K lookalike, Kylie went and got herself knocked up. Mazel tov, I guess.
According to TMZ, Scott has been telling everyone and their drugged-out stepmom that he and King Kylie are expecting a baby girl, and that the pregnancy is going to “change his life.” I mean yeah, Travis, you’re probably right about that one. Couple this news with the fact that Kylie’s recent instas have been from the chest up, and her apparent lack of impulse control, and this all seems pretty plausible.
Also, she was recently photographed in public looking like this, which could be due to either pregnancy, or a hangover. Sometimes it is hard to tell:
Still not convinced? Well, yesterday she posted this truly demented looking fan art of herself and…herself as a baby? Is this a nod to the rumors, or just a nod to the fact that she wishes she could hang out with herself as a baby? Both are likely:
I feel like it is important to note here that Baby Kylie is holding a Kylie Lip Kit, because not even as a baby would Kylie Jenner miss a branding opportunity.
Of course, as TMZ notes, this could all be a weird prank they’re playing on their friends, or a desperate attempt to drive up Life of Kylie ratings. KUWTK season 10 premieres on Sunday, and I would not put it past Kris Jenner to drum up a fake pregnancy scandal before the premiere.
If this baby is real, then I emphatically welcome her to the Kardashian/Jenner empire, and eagerly await the lip kit/highlighter pallette that will be released in her name.
