The first half of 2020 has officially come to a close, and it’s safe say it’s been a struggle. And you know what? Times are tough for Kim Kardashian too. All she wants is to be able to brag about being rich, but this week, she just can’t catch a break from the trolls.
On Tuesday, Kim shared several photos from North’s 7th birthday celebration in Wyoming. Kourtney and her kids were there, along with some other children. It looked like a great time, with lots of leather pants, go-kart racing, and horseback riding.
Speaking of horses, Kim tweeted introducing the world to “North’s Freesian horse”, adding that they have “14 gorgeous Freesians on the ranch”. That might be the fanciest combination of words I’ve ever heard, and Twitter wasted no time trolling Kim for her failure to read the depressing room that is 2020.
Meet North’s Freesian horse. We have 14 gorgeous Freesians on the ranch. pic.twitter.com/TO87I25YKJ
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) June 29, 2020
First of all, it’s actually spelled “Friesian”, which the good people of Horse Twitter pointed out as evidence that Kim might not actually know that much about horses (or spell-check). She also got called out for other horse-related inaccuracies, like the kind of bridle on the horse and North’s lack of proper riding attire (read: Ugg boots). But on top of those technical faux pas on Kim’s part, she also got dragged for the tone of the post in general.
Kim might not know much about horses, but I’m sure she’s at least vaguely aware that the last few months have been an extremely tough time for a lot of people. With an unemployment rate higher than it’s been in decades, it seems like the exact wrong time to be bragging on social media about how many gorgeous horses you can afford. Everyone knows the Kardashians are rich, but a post like this is over the top even for them.
Honestly the fact that you chose a moment in time when our unemployment rate is the highest it’s ever been since the Great Depression to brag about having too many fancy horses and then couldn’t even spell the breed correctly is a perfect illustration of America in 2020
— ✨eva✨ (@midwest_monster) June 30, 2020
In one more personal response to Kim’s tweet, a woman claimed that she used to work for the Kardashian family, and could barely afford groceries at the time. On top of that, she was reprimanded for picking up freelance work to supplement her wages.
I had to buy groceries at the 99 Cents Only Store when I worked as an editor on the Kardashian-Jenner Official Apps ❤️ and got reprimanded for freelancing on the side ❤️❤️ https://t.co/E4crddQo7i
— Jessica DeFino (@jessicadefino_) June 30, 2020
Here’s another one, for good measure. The emojis really help bring it to life.
Kim Kardashian really looked at everything that’s going on right now and said “damn that sucks…..anyway this is our $30K horse & guess what? we have 14 more😍🐎 also this is our ranch which includes a go kart track🤠 BILLIONAIRE TINGZ🤪🥰”
— J☆DE (@foxijade) June 30, 2020
Speaking of billionaire, Kim posted her horse tweet on the same day that news broke of a major deal which will see her sell a portion of her KKW Beauty Brand. In the deal with Coty, they will buy a 20% stake in the company for $200 million, giving the company a total valuation of… wait for it… $1 billion. It’s a similar deal to the one Kylie made with Coty last year, except that Kim will retain majority ownership of KKW Beauty. With the news of the deal on Monday, it was widely reported that this meant Kim was officially a billionaire. Even Kanye toasted Kim’s 10-figure financial status with a bizarre tweet featuring a photo of some vegetables.
I am so proud of my beautiful wife Kim Kardashian West for officially becoming a billionaire
You’ve weathered the craziest storms and now God is shining on you and our family
So blessed this is still life
So I made you this still life
We love you so much pic.twitter.com/Vvtgzodnah
— ye (@kanyewest) June 30, 2020
But just like Twitter trolled the hell out of Kim’s horses, Forbes popped up to troll the hell out of Kim’s newly-minted billionaire status. Back in May, Forbes published a bombshell report about Kylie Jenner, stripping her of her billionaire designation, and alleging that she made false statements and even forged tax documents. Clearly, Forbes is done with this family’s bullsh*t, and after Kim’s Coty announcement on Monday, they wasted no time knocking her down a peg.
While Kanye was busy writing a poem about his billionaire wife, Forbes published a report headlined “Kim Kardashian Is Worth $900 Million After Agreeing To Sell A Stake In Her Cosmetics Firm To Coty.” According to Forbes, though the deal values KKW Beauty at $1 billion, Kris Jenner actually owns eight percent of the company, leaving Kim short of the coveted billionaire mark. Honestly, this means almost nothing in the grand scheme of anything, because Kim can still buy as many gorgeous horses as she wants, but you know that she must be dying to officially be called a billionaire.
I’m sure if Kim Kardashian keeps working hard and pulling herself up by her bootstraps, she can eventually make it there, but in the meantime, maybe she should refrain from bragging about her wealth on social media. Much like mask-less concerts and white people waving guns at protestors, it’s just not what we need to see right now.
Images: Tinseltown / Shutterstock.com; kimkardashian, midwest_monster, jessicadefino_, foxijade, kanyewest / Twitter
ICYMI, Kim Kardashian dropped the now sold-out KKW BEAUTY Concealer Kits last Thursday. The kits cost 80 bucks (or $18 for each individual item) and include concealer, baking powder, brightening powder, and two brushes to help achieve Kim’s signature three-step concealing method that she developed with her OG makeup artist Mario Dedivanovic. Beauty bloggers are calling it the “conceal bake brighten” method, and just like anything Kim does, conceal bake brighten is extra but it supposedly really works.
“The three-step process is what Mario and I have perfected after working together all of these years. It’s been our routine, so I wanted to introduce to people how I really do my concealer to cover up my dark circles and spots, which helps me feel and look my best.” Kim said in a press release. Speaking of Mario, the KKW Concealer Kit launch came right before the duo announced that they’re set to drop even more KKW BEAUTY products on April 5th with the KKW x Mario collection.
If you’re sitting there wondering how one could have a three-step process just for concealing, take a look at the bright, blank canvas underneath Kim’s eyes at all times and you have your answer. Then go take a nap because even the thought of requiring three separate steps just to conceal is exhausting. To properly use the kit to cover up even the most sleep-deprived eyes, first, apply the liquid concealer under the eyes and blend with the sponge end of the Concealer Brush I. Then, again using the sponge end of Concealer Brush I, apply the baking powder to set the under eyes and then brush away the excess powder with the fluffy brush end of that same brush. At this point, you may consider popping an Adderall to get through a regimen that is more complicated than my current diet and exercise routine.
To brighten, use the fluffy brush end of Concealer Brush II to apply the brightening powder under the eyes, and finally, use the rounded brush end of Concealer Brush II to apply a more concentrated amount of brightening powder to the inner corner of the eye for optimum brightness. Then go take another nap. JK, you’ll ruin that concealer you just spent hours applying. It is at this point that you wonder if it’s even worth it, before concluding that it probably isn’t but you’ll do it anyway, just because Kim is doing it.
We know what you’re thinking: yet another Kardashian-Jenner beauty product invented for the sole purpose of making that family even richer and you even poorer?? What is money to them at this point anyway? After you get a few million, doesn’t any amount of money after that just feel like an abstraction? Okay, so maybe only I was thinking that. You’re probably wondering if you actually NEED Kim Kardashian’s concealer kit. I mean, we’ll let you Google what Kim looks like without concealer versus with full glam and let you decide for yourself if the products really work.
So if you’re sold on the idea of going from raccoon eyes to bright-eyed and bushy tailed, you can add your email to the waiting list on KKW Beauty’s site so you can be notified when the kits are back in stock. The kits offer a decent range of shades for most skin tones (though it’s no FENTY beauty): 16 liquid concealers, four baking powders and four brightening powders.
However, if you want to channel Kim’s brightly concealed eyes while still having money for happy hour this week, we’ve rounded up a few cheaper dupes below that work just as well.
NYX Hi Definition Photo Concealer Wand
The key to concealing like Kim is to go with a concealer with heavy coverage (she doesn’t hide those dark pigmented under eye circles with light coverage), so opt for a medium-full coverage concealer like NYX’s. This creamy $4 formula goes on smooth so it is buildable without the flakiness.
Cover FX Illuminating Setting Powder Mini
The difference between the baking powder and the setting powder is the baking powder is a silky, lightweight loose powder that is slightly more pigmented, and the brightening powder is an illuminating, velvety pressed powder. For a baking powder to create that smooth, bright under eye at a fraction of the KKW cost, reach for Cover FX’s Illuminating Setting Powder that will leave you with a radiant finish for just 10 bucks.
E.L.F. Prime & Stay Finishing Powder
For a pressed pigmented setting powder with a velvety finish like KKW’s, E.L.F.’s Prime & Stay brightens your look while locking in your makeup. What’s more? This dupe for the final step to makeup Mario’s magical three-step process will only put you back $2, so you’ll have plenty of money leftover to actually show off your flawless face on Saturday night.
Images: Courtesy of Full Picture (3); NYX; Cover FX; e.l.f.
Now that Pretty Little Liars is officially over (right, Marlene King? Because I can’t take one more sets of fucking twins) there’s not much I have to live for these days. Like, do you expect me to stop wasting my youth watching 30-year-old high schoolers get psychologically tortured by a deranged Regina George wannabe and, like, actually live my life? That’s asking a lot of me. But I’m doing this new thing where I try to work on my personal growth so I guess it’s time to obsess over something else in life. Like makeup. And slowly going into credit card debt. Lol this will be fun. So here are eight beauty products that just launched and will help you live your best Instagram life this summer. You’re welcome.
1. Urban Decay Naked Heat
Urban Decay just dropped a new version of its cult-favorite basic bitch-endorsed Naked Palette, and it is the reason my rent check was late last month because priorities. The new launch includes 12 warm red-toned shades that I was SURE would make me look hideous but in fact make me look flawless like a very unknown celeb on a good beauty day.
2. Drybar Detox Whipped Dry Shampoo Foam
This product is the key to making you look less hungover at work like you don’t drink on days that end in Y. It’s a mousse, which I’m always skeptical about because usually when I wear mousse products I look less like an Herbal Essences model and more like I have dandruff. But this stuff is the real deal because it absorbs oil and doesn’t leave behind any of that powdery shit. I guess we really can have it all. Plus it gives off Drybar’s signature Blanc scent, so instead of your hair smelling like bars and fuckboys it’ll smell more like vanilla and cupcakes.
3. Milk Makeup Blur Spray
This product might be the best thing to happen to me since Seamless fucked up my order that one time and gave me extra egg rolls. Seriously, that was the gift that kept on giving. Anyway, the Milk Makeup Blur Spray is a setting spray that acts like an Instagram filter in that it makes you look like a better, more airbrushed version of yourself. Furthermore, it gives your complexion a soft-focus finish so no one will be able to see the “real” you underneath all the makeup. Blessings.
4. KKW Beauty Contour Kit
So earlier this month Kim Kardashian West broke the internet with something other than soft-core porn a super classy nude photo shoot. Shocking, I know. Kimmy launched the KKW contour kits, which I will be buying for a number of reasons but mostly because of the pure shade that went into launching a makeup line that’s in direct competition with her younger—and most fame thirsty—sister. Never change, Kim. Other than being an avid supporter of shade throwers, I’ve also always wanted to look like a Kardashian but since the only thing I have on call is the Domino’s guy and not a reputable plastic surgeon I guess I’ll have to settle for this shit. Sighs. This product has been sold out since like, the minute it launched but I’m sure you could sell a liver on the black market or something in exchange for one. Though, if it’s a liver, I might be out. Unless they want one that’s been extensively partially used 3-5 days a week for the last six years? Anyways, best of luck to you!
5. Coconut Melting Tanning Balm
If you, like me, are horrified by your summer body because you a) do not remember what sunlight looks like as it’s been your personal life’s mission to rewatch all one million seven seasons of PLL in preparation for the finale or b) have used winter as an excuse to let yourself go in all aspects of the word, then this shit is about to save your life. It looks and smells just like a standard solidified coconut oil, but when you apply it to your skin, it makes you look glowy AF while also hydrating your skin. Similar to my Bumble profile, it will give off the illusion that you’re fun and outgoing and actually leave your house to do things outside by giving you super natural-looking tan skin. Tbh there’s not much more I can ask for in this life.
6. OUAI Rose Hair & Body Oil
Jen Atkin, a coveted member of the Kardashians’ beauty slaves team, just released this restorative hair product that’s about to be an essential part of your summer beach beauty plan. It’s silicone-free and includes oils that help multitask, like absinthium oil to help hydrate your hair, rose hip oil to heal scars and redness, and shea oil to moisturize dull, dry hair. Plus it smells like a fucking dream. Seriously, it’s advertised to smell like “you own a yacht” which is a literal dream of mine.
^a deleted scene from my dream
7. Too Faced Hangover Rx 3-in-1 Replenishing Primer and Setting Spray
We’ve talked about this one before, but that’s because it saves lives makes you look less hungover on Mondays. This product just came out in June and like its primer predecessor, it’s loaded with coconut water and antibiotics to add hydration and nourishment to your dehydrated af complexion. Praise. Plus it smells like a coconut dream, which will come in handy when you’re trying to disguise the fact that your downed vodka sodas like water last night and drunk called your ex.
8. Bare Minerals Statement Matte Liquid Lip Color in Fire
I know this summer is all about the nudes—lip color and otherwise—but if you’re looking for a pop of color, this product is about to be your go-to. The color itself is your classic red with an orange twist. Tbh if you told me last month that I Elle Woods would be supportive of an orange-colored beauty product I’d say you were seriously disturbed, but now I’ve changed my stance because this color is actually chic AF. And because it’s super pigmented you don’t have to layer it on for the color payoff, THANK GOD.