Definitive Ranking Of The Trump Officials Getting Yelled At In Restaurant

The worst thing at a restaurant is when your in the middle of a heated convo and the waiter comes up to see if you need another refill, clearly interrupting a private convo and you just have to quickly pretend everything is fine, when it’s not. You fake a smile and say check please, then turn back to whatever Brad/Chad is across from you, but now the fight is ruined and you didn’t even get to say your final zinger. Now take that experience and multiply it by a thousand, and you might know what it is like to be a Trump official trying to waste money eat out these days.  There is a new trend of people confronting Trump’s staff and trusted advisors while they are out to dinner, and we are here for it. Some of these confrontations are super awk and some end in drama. Here’s a ranking of the confrontations from worst to best.

Nikki Haley

U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley claimed via twitter that she and her son were booed out of a restaurant in New York during the Pride Parade last month. If you think way back to 2013 and think about bathroom drama, you may remember that South Carolina had laws forcing trans people to use the bathroom for the gender they were assigned at birth. Nikki Haley opposed an amendment to that law, and people are still booing her for that five years later. (Probs has more to do with her being Trump affiliated, but whatever.) This gets a low ranking because there isn’t a video to go along with it and she didn’t even type out the word including in her very short tweet. Also nothing came out of this so it’s a weak 4/10.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders

The official mouth piece of the Trump Administration got shut up pretty quickly when she and her family were asked to leave a restaurant by the owner moments after being seated. According to Facebook Russia the owner thought Sanders morals conflicted with her own and asked her to leave, so she and her fam did. This is a 5/10 in my book. Seriously people no video? Even 2 year olds have an iPad with them at restaurants now and not one person in this restaurant caught this on camera! Who wouldn’t love to see a frazzled Huckabee Sanders struggling for words to make sense of an awkward situation? Oh, I guess we can just watch every press conference she’s ever held. Nvm can totally picture it now.

Kirstjen Neilsen

Remember that whole “separating children from their families at the border” thing that is still low-key not resolved? Well, right at the height of that bs,  Secretary of Homeland Security Kirstjen Nielsen decided it was appropriate to dine at a Mexican restaurant. No bueno. Not only was Kirstjen-with-a-j booed out of the place, but people also started yelling shame at her like an episode of Game of Thrones. We even wrote about this one at the time because it was so crazy. This is a solid 7/10 because one there is a super awk video of people booing her while she pretends like nothing is happening. And I mean, she is being protested over the separation of immigrant families at the border while eating Mexican food. You just can’t even make that shit up. The restaurant was chill enough to acknowledge that immigration issues affect a lot of their staff so they allowed the protest to continue. Safe to say her guac was def extra and a half.

Scott Pruitt

Dirty Scott Pruitt of the Environmental Protection Agency is/was prob the most scandalous person in the Trump Administration. Pruitt has gotten a lot of heat for his outrageous spending on private air travel, a $43k soundproof booth, trying to finagle his wife a job a Chic-Fil-A and honestly so much other bizarre shit paid for by our taxpayer dollars. In addition to that, he is a climate denier in charge of the EPA, so it’s basically been the Environment Destruction Agency since he was appointed. Pruitt was confronted by a mother with her child on her hip and they got a video! It doesn’t show the whole encounter, but according to the woman she felt the need to tell Scott he was ruining the planet for her son and all future generations. True.

The best part of this story? Pruitt literally resigned just days later. This gets a 10/10 for having both results and a video, praise be. If publicly shaming people while they eat to get better political policy is a trend that works, then Trump may want to start paying for everyone’s Uber Eats to avoid anymore resignations.

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Watch Kirstjen Nielsen Get Booed Out Of A Mexican Restaurant

On this week’s episode of Game of Thrones White Houses, the Secretary of Homeland Security got the Cersei Lannister treatment and was booed while trying to enjoy her marg. Her and some colleagues thought after a tough week of immigration policy what’s better than enjoying the cuisine of those you don’t want to stay in America! Not pretentious at all. She pretended like nothing was happening and ignored the protestors who went on for more than 10 minutes. Meanwhile expecting a largely hispanic waitstaff to make her some guac and not thinking about the fact that some of them may know people effected by the policy she is carrying out. Besides her being part of the Trump Administration, the reason for her being booed was because she stood in favor of the separation of families at the boarder. How a woman stood for this I will never understand.

Who TF Is Kristjen Nielson?

Kris “with a J” Nielson has been around since Bush Dub’s administration. Nielsen is was the Principal Deputy White House Chief of Staff to President Donald Trump and before that the chief of staff to John F. Kelly during his term as Secretary of Homeland Security. The on December 5, 2017, the v republican Senate confirmed her as the Secretary of Homeland Security, and was sworn in the next day. The reason you are just hearing about who TF she is, has to do with the the zero tolerance immigration policy… and some of these tweets. Trump must be hosting weekly twitter workshops, most likely called “The Art of the Tweet.”

I will work tirelessly until our broken immigration system is fixed, our borders are secure and families can stay together.

— Sec. Kirstjen Nielsen (@SecNielsen) June 20, 2018

Okay So Show Me The Video

Okay okay, we’ll show you the goods. TBH I can’t wait for technology to get to a place where you can get a full body tattoo of a video, because as soon as that happens I’ll be getting this permanently inked onto my back:

Part one of a video of @mdc_dsa @DC_IWW and others shouting DHS Secretary Nielsen out of a restaurant. She doesn’t need to be kidnapping #immigrantchildren to deserve this treatment. Don’t give the regime a moment of rest. #KeepFamilesTogether pic.twitter.com/B3RfraOk1E

— Smash Racism DC (@SmashRacismDC) June 20, 2018

If you want to know who to thank for this precious gift of a protest, it’s the Metro DC branch of the DSA – aka the Democratic Socialists of America, and the DC branch of the Industrial Workers of the World (IWW). Leftists truly have no chill, and I mean that in the absolute best way possible.

WTF Is Happening With Family Separation Now?

On Wednesday, Trump signed yet another executive order, which kept the zero tolerance policies in place but directs families to be jailed together, rather than separately. Yay?

You can read our full breakdown of the executive order and what it means here.

Find out how to help migrant children and their families here.

Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!

5 BS Ways The White House Is Defending Separating Children At The Border

Move over Kellyanne, there’s a new psychotic blonde taking over press meetings and raising the bar on how terrible this administration can be. Kirstjen (not a typo) Nielsen, the Secretary of Homeland Security, answered questions last night regarding migrant families being ripped apart at the border and we needed to call a doctor immediately because wherever that woman’s heart should is a block of cold ice instead. So what did we learn from this medical anomaly’s press conference about Trump’s zero-tolerance immigration policy?

It’s All Democrats’ Fault

As is the case with everything in the Trump administration: if you love it, thank Trump, if you hate it, the Democrats are being stubborn! Let’s be very clear, Trump could end this policy on his own at any moment he chooses. He just gets off on pitting Congress against one another and has never learned what personal responsibility is in his 72 terrible years on Earth. Also, casual reminder that Republicans are literally in charge of every branch of government, and can pass any laws they want.

She Has No Idea What Cages Are

Unlike, salads, which have a very loose definition (a garden salad is a distant distant cousin from a chicken salad, say) cages are pretty cut and clear what they are. But Kristjen can’t say for sure if migrant children are being kept in them (they are) or if there are even any photos of children in said cages (there are.) This is a job for Merriam Webster’s social media manager, STAT!

She Doesn’t Know Where The Girls Are

One savvy reporter noticed that all of the images being released of children were of young boys and wanted to know where the girls being ripped from their families were. Kristjen couldn’t give him a straight answer and was like “blah blah blah I don’t know where they are but they are safe” and it’s like, this isn’t a final exam you can try and skate through, honey. You’re a monster and you’re failing the test.

This Is Obama’s Fault

Besides blaming Congress, Trump’s spokespeople must get like a raise every time they say this is Obama’s fault. Kristjen tried to say that this horrific human rights violation was in place during the previous administration, which is a lie. While Obama had strict immigration laws, as did Bush, neither separated children from their families.

She Really Has No Heart

Homegirl started off her talk by saying it was a pleasure to be there. Anyone who has felt “pleasure” in the last 48 hours regarding this situation can go bite an ice cube and get a permanent brain freeze. Also wtf kind of name is “Kristjen”?? I’m sorry but if you’re going to be policing people’s American-ness and accusing immigrants of not assimilating, you can’t be spelling Kirsten with a damn J. You just can’t.

Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!