I stopped following all the Kardashians on social media when Khloé used “anorexic” as a compliment in 2018. It was the final nail in the coffin (shaped nails) of their toxic behavior and hindrance to the positive body image movement of which they once fancied themselves as champions.
But you don’t have to be following them to be keenly aware of their most recent content catastrophe, all provoked by an unfiltered, unphotoshopped, and by all standards very nice photo of Khloé in a bikini. It doesn’t look like the Khloé we know from TV and Instagram. It looks like the Khloé that may actually exist.
The photo is said to have been taken on a recent family vacation to Palm Springs, and was either leaked by an assistant or her grandmother (whose grandmother hasn’t taken a photo of us we don’t approve of?). But it’s not the photo for once that’s making headlines: It’s the aftermath.
After its initial posting, the offending bikini pic was removed faster than an accidental like on your ex’s Instagram, with the family allegedly working overtime to scrub any traces of it from the internet forever (a gargantuan feat, even for a family with such a firm grip on the media and its inner workings). Sister Kim herself even got involved, allegedly direct messaging people to request its removal, citing the image, taken in broad daylight, as being “doctored”, taken “in the worst lighting”, and a “copywright infringement” as opposed to the truth, which is that it’s just not an image Khloé has carefully curated for the world to see.
On its (contoured) face, this is just another effort on the famous family’s part to control their narrative and image, but dig a bit deeper and it’s all just extremely sad. The Kardashians, what with all their yacht-loads of external validation (a combined 80 gazillion Instagram followers and “likes,” a slew of homes, so much money, access to any and everything) are no further along—and in fact, they seem frighteningly behind—people without an ounce of their resources, money, and fame to find a shred of self-worth. The timing of the incident, right before news also broke of Kim Kardashian officially becoming a billionaire, pretty perfectly drives home that sentiment.
The sadness I feel about Khloé, who has spent years (and, as she laid out on Instagram on Thursday, her entire life) publicly striving to achieve a version of herself that she finds “worthy” is twofold. Look at that photo and you’ll see what we have been conditioned by society and media to believe is the ideal body: a flat stomach, curves in the exact right places. These are things that I—and most people—don’t have! And yet she is so ashamed of it, writing on Instagram that it “doesn’t capture your body the way it is after working so hard to get to this point” with its non-Barbie doll smoothness (thank you, Diet Starts Tomorrow for that analogy) that her sister—who, by all accounts, has plenty more to do with her time than reach out to random people on social media—is doing everything she can to hide it.
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It’s equally as sad to learn that Khloé has obviously not found her own version of self-acceptance and has not done the internal work necessary to love, or at least make peace with, the external. The message being sent to millions of young (and not-so-young) women who look up to her and her sisters is that this more-than-acceptable body is simply unacceptable.
Even her response is sad, going on Instagram Live to prove that “this isn’t photoshopped” when in reality the only difference in the Palm Springs image is a bit of skin texture. It’s impossible to comprehend what it’s like to be ridiculed by the media for the way you look, but the reaction—one that can only be compared to that of a leaked sex tape as opposed to simply acknowledging that it’s a bad photo and moving on—speaks louder than a caption could.
It’s also impossible not to examine this incident as it pertains to her clothing brand, Good American, whose Instagram bio literally reads “representing body acceptance”. Often heralded as “expensive but worth it” by legions of fans on TikTok and actually impressive in terms of size offerings compared to most other fashion brands, here we see a true inability for Khloé to practice what she preaches.
Whereas many of the models in Good American’s marketing materials represent a more realistic body image, a recent campaign image of Khloé looked more like one of those Stretch Armstrong dolls of the ‘90s, all elongated limbs and a distorted body shape. She wants to be a champion of body diversity—just not when it comes to her own body.
Looking at the images Khloé did choose to share drums up toxic feelings, too. Despite knowing that they’re likely doctored, despite knowing everything I do about feeling good in my skin and the pitfalls of comparison especially on social media,, there’s a small part of my brain that’s jealous of the woman in this image, with her flawless skin and exposed rib cage. As long as we continue to glorify images like this one, and these women in general, the longer it will be before shifting beauty standards and healthier relationships with our bodies will trickle down to us, the masses.
If nothing else, perhaps this might be a moment of reckoning for anyone who still views these women as body image role models. It’s high time we all realize that the Kardashians, with their weight loss tea spon con and usage of skinny as the ultimate compliment, are anything but.
Images: Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images; khloekardashian / Instagram
Welcome to another day in quarantine, where every day is the exact same thing. Like that movie Palm Springs on Hulu (cannot recommend enough, BTW). In keeping with every single day being the exact same, guess what also hasn’t changed? Khloé Kardashian posted a face to Instagram that was definitely not her own.
But before we get to today’s aberration, I just want to point something else out. Remember a couple months ago when Khloé posted a *literally unbelievable* photo of “herself” aka the scary cyborg she morphs herself into via Facetune and claims is real life, and I broke it down for you? Amazingly, there were still some people that thought the photo was real life. Wellllll. Unfortunately, because Khloé seems to be unaware that she is extremely famous and on an extremely famous TV show, Keeping Up With The Kardashians themselves provided receipts for said photo.
S/O Dylan Hafer for the comparison and best commentary ever.
It turns out the only real thing about this photo was the boob highlight. Which hopefully if you’ve been reading these articles, you spotted from a mile away. Does she forget that she is ON TV and everyone knows exactly what her face looks like? This isn’t like models or influencers where the risk of us catching them in the wild is minimal. We see her real face every week on our TV screens!
It just could not be more different, these are not the same people?! Also, why is she removing her signature mole? But that’s not why we’re today, kids. Because yesterday, Khloé posted this.
WHO is this? What’s so weird is this isn’t even the same person in her other edited photos. Legitimately, every picture she edits completely differently which really sells herself out.
I cannot stress this enough, this looks nothing like her real life face OR her previously edited face. Her eyes are big and stretched out, her skin looks like plastic with no shape under her eyes, her nose is slimmed out, her face is angled into a point, and her neck has a strange bulge in it from trying to sharpen her jawline. And her face does not match the skin color on her hands AT ALL. I honestly would have no idea who this even is.
But don’t worry, we also got THIS today:
I would say this is maybe another angle of the chick from the last picture, but once again it does not match up. And it looks nothing like real life Khloé. I know the angle is different, but even still:
It’s not the same person. Her eyes are at least double the size, her nose is a totally different shape, her lips are enormous, she thinned her jaw and her neck, and even her eyebrow shape has changed. Once again, these features make you look LIKE YOU, you cannot just change them at random!
Here is my problem with this amount of editing. Khloé is beautiful on her own without it. Not to mention, although we hate to admit it, the Kar/Jenners are fashion/societal icons and, for a lot of people, role models. As problematic as they are, they’re a huge part in why being curvy came back into style—but then they consistently undo any positive influence they had on beauty standards when they perpetuate this scary cyborg puppet version of women as if that is what is or should be considered attractive. And the most toxic part is that, in actuality, they don’t even have it themselves and can only achieve these looks through plastic surgery, expensive treatments, and then polish it off with complete bullsh*t photo editing. It is the definition of toxic and I hope that one day Khloé will feel good enough about her REAL face and REAL body and REAL mole to truly own who she is. I’d way rather see Khloé be herself than continue to see these many changing faces and bodies that she thinks are cute but in real life are SCARY.
Do you guys agree that you’d rather see the real Khloé than these many edited versions of her? When does Facetune go too far to you? Why do you think people do this to their photos when we can easily provide receipts? LMK!
Images: Vivien Killilea/Getty Images for Abyss By Abby; dylanhafer, khloekardashian / Instagram
Wow, guys. It’s been quite a week in the world of Photoshop and Facetune fails. I’m sure you’ve seen today’s post because it is EVERYWHERE. That is how bad it is. Because here is what I—and I feel like, everyone?—do not understand. The idea of editing your photos is to get rid of flaws and make you look better, right? When I edit photos, it’s because there are unnecessary flyaway hairs, backne, or dirty dishes on my counter in the background that no one needs to see. There are totally reasons to make edits to photos. Most of our tiny dark apartments are just not equipped for professional photoshoots, so we understandably need to edit the lighting and add a cute filter to hide the horror-movie style bags under out eyes that our one sad lamp give us. This kind of stuff makes sense to me. But what really makes zero sense to me is removing your entire face and replacing it with a new face.
Do you remember that super strange Nicolas Cage movie where he gets a face transplant? Honestly? I don’t really either, besides the extremely vague premise. Turns out, Khloé Kardashian is a HUGE fan. In fact, she took that movie for her inspiration for her new look!
Khloé posted this a few days ago to show off her new hair:
Which, love it. It’s a great color for her! Except people had a problem with it. Not the hair, mind you, just a little teeny issue that this photo is not of Khloé’s face. In fact, it actually kind of looks more like her bestie Malika?
I mean did Khloé really, really, Facetune herself so hard that she just gave herself a whole new face? Well, there’s an easy way to check. Because unfortunately for Khloé, there are real pictures that exist of her. Not to mention, we get to see her real face on TV, and that isn’t it.
And in case you’re basically blind and somehow do not see the difference, don’t worry. Here is a nice little comparison of Khloé’s human face vs. that of the woman she has created in her laboratory:
Where to begin? The biggest offense is of course, this is just NOT YOUR FACE! But if we really want to get into it, this photo is also riddled with errors. I kinda just wanted to circle the entire thing and write “NO” across it.
So clearly, Khloé gave herself an entirely new head/chin. That just is not her jawline. This resulted in some SUPER WEIRD dimpling/lines on the left side of her face. In her quest to give herself new eyes and smoothed-out cheeks, she accidentally made one eye bigger than the other and somehow managed to shove it higher up than its counterpart. As you can see, her face is completely straight-on and level (and actually?? It’s unnaturally symmetrical), except for the one eye floating away. You can’t just move your eyeball placement, you would have to tilt your head to have your eyes at this angle. There’s a similar issue with her shoulders. She shrunk her right arm sooo much that it doesn’t seem to match up to be attached to her body at this angle anymore. And the rest of the arm is squiggly.
Further more, in smoothing out her neck, she removed half of the necklace chain she was wearing. This whole edit reeks of creepy cyborg vibes AND is crooked everywhere. Also? In addition to this not being her head or face, this is definitely not her skin tone.
You guys, I cannot stress this enough. Facetune should not be used like you’re Mr. Potato Head selecting all these different pieces for your face. It’s sad and creepy and makes you look really insecure. Remember, we all know what you actually look like. You don’t need to be a scary cyborg Barbie doll! Khloé, you will always be my favorite, but it would REALLY AWESOME for women everywhere (and probably your own self-esteem) if you’d lay off the editing. Seriously, you don’t need it.
Khloé on Facetune:
Were you horrified when you saw Khloé’s picture? Do you think her Facetune usage is getting worse? What do you use Facetune for? How do you feel about people giving themselves unrecognizable digital makeovers and trying to pass it off as real life? Do you think Malika is kind of scared? Let me know!
Images: Giphy (3); Instagram (@khloekardashian); Getty Images
Hello! And welcome back to your regularly scheduled Kardashian news breakdown. It’s like The Sup, but about butts and Photoshop, and is far more judgmental. Fun! For those of you who don’t have working eyes and ears and thus haven’t been following along, Khloé Kardashian has had a rough couple of weeks lately with the media. This is in part because we’ve been savagely roasting her ass for the Photoshop abominations she’s been trying to pass off as legitimate Instagram posts and, like, we’re not going to apologize for that. It’s called investigative journalism, sweetie, look it up!! And, look, the articles don’t all come from a bad place here. Khloé’s been my favorite Kardashian ever since Kim and Kris started gracing our screens in their matching Juicy tracksuits with their delusions of grandeur, but MY GOD, Khloé, I can’t see one more lumpy arm or a butt with missing chunks on my IG feed or I’m going to have to start reporting your posts to Instagram HQ for offensive material. Consider this your last warning, Khlo! But Khloé recently just came for all her photoshop haters, and let’s just say it was a petty masterpiece.
The clapback went down in Khloé’s IG comments, because apparently the comments section on Instagram is destined to be our generation’s courtroom. Here’s the sitch: last Friday Khloé posted a selfie to Instagram in which people in the comments section heavily implied that she had tampered with the photo. I’m not sure what gave her away: the millennial pink overlay or the fact that her face in this photo is entirely different than the one she was born with? Khloé wrote “Good vibes only” as her caption, which is pretty much an invitation for people to troll her photo—at least that’s what I tell my sister every time she thinks she can get away with using that caption (it’s for your own good, sis!). Judge the photo for yourself:
Look, I’m no Photoshop expert (you’ll have to slide into Holly Gobetchy’s DMs for that), so I’m not going to blast Khloé for what could be another photoshop fail or just a really good
plastic surgeon “filter.” But my feelings are apparently too nice about the matter because fans WENT IN on Khloé for Photoshopping her selfie, to which Khloé responded with more passive aggression than I use to email HR about our lack of a summer Friday policy. Let’s look at the comment, shall we:
Wooowww the kissy face emoji, Khloé? Really? That’s the emoji I usually reserve for commenting on any sorority sister’s IG post thanking people for birthday wishes when I did not in fact wish her a happy birthday, but okay.
Let’s break down the comment real quick, shall we? We have one commenter @missdingledobbs, who thinks that Khloé photoshopped her selfie because in the photo we can’t see the mole that Khloé was born with on her face. We also can’t see the nose, lips, or cheek bones, but sure let’s focus on the mole. We have another commenter, @asmarsmi, defending Khloé by saying: “I have 3 on mine. Ahh the miracles of foundation and laziness of taking it off with a q-tip in those spots.” That’s the comment Khloé responds to with three kissy face emojis, effectively shading her hater and saying without really saying that this photo is the result of a sh*t ton of foundation and not photoshopping. K.
But Khloé’s not done yet! Another commenter said: “your eyes got pulled back too much.” To which Khloé responded with:
“@mari_888_sol so now my eyes are pulled back? Lol oh man… you guys are really reaching. But sure, whatever you want to believe. I’m good with whatever babe much love sent your way.”
Tbh I think Khloé has a fair point here. This photo was clearly not photoshopped so much as it was sculpted by her plastic surgeon in a remote Calabasas location 8-12 months prior. Come on, anyone can see that. Get your facts right, @mari_888_sol!
Well that’s your daily dose of Kardashian news. I’d love to say “that’s all for today” or even “that’s all for this hour” but knowing Kris Jenner and also Khloé’s passion for FaceTune, I’m sure you’ll be hearing from us a lot sooner than that. Until then!
Images: @khloekardashian /Instagram (3)
This is a PSA: Khloé Kardashian, for the love of God, will you (and your entire family for that matter) put down the poorly made editing apps? I already did an entire article on Kardashian Photoshop fails alone, and honestly, it took every ounce of self-restraint to not make that article 500 entries long. The Kardashians are just so bad at Photoshop! And I don’t even get why?? Number one, they are one of the most gorgeous families in America, and they should really be happy with the way they look. Two, they have (I assume) full-time teams of makeup artists, stylists, trainers, and plastic surgeons at their beck and call to deal with their dissatisfaction—they should not have to take out their issues on editing apps. Number three, and I said it before (but I’ll say it again), they have enough money that they could easily hire experienced graphic designers to manipulate their photos before they post. I mean, if you’re gonna erase chunks of your body (why? you all look amazing), at least do it the right way.
A short while ago, Khloé caught flak for making herself took tiny and her head look huge. This weekend, she was back at it again with a monstrosity of an Instagram post that’s going to take me several suitcases to unpack. You think the bad Photoshop can’t get worse and then you see something like this:
Here is what I do not understand. Khloé looks amazing rn. This pic is adorable. I’m sure the original picture required zero edits, but especially such poorly done ones.
Me to Khloé, but like, replace Britney with “YOUR PHOTOS”:
As a Photoshop expert and digital artist, I’m going to go ahead and tell you everything that makes this photo seem a bit off. Hopefully you’ll learn something and won’t make these mistakes when editing your own photos. Or, even better, get some self-esteem and stop pretending women are supposed to be freaky, blurry demogorgons with no fat!
Problem 1: Skinny Arm
More like too skinny arm. Let’s just dive right in here (no pun intended). Okay, this is the first thing I noticed wrong with the photo. I’ve blown it up, so it’s pixelated everywhere, but you’ll notice it is VERY blurry around the edges of Khloé’s upper arms. In fact, part of her bicep has a bit of a tumor (?) that is threatening to leave and join the grass behind her.
In fact??? Her whole arm is wavy and has chunks missing from it?
Girl, you might need a doctor to check that out. It looks to me like the arm was pushed in on either sides, thus the extreme blurry edges, to look thinner. You can especially tell because the shadow on the bottom side of the arm is missing RIGHT where most woman get some arm fat. She forgot the bulge which is either probably where the real arm was, OR it was too difficult to do on the app, because of the grass shadow behind it. It also looks like she smoothed out the entire top part of the arm. It looks weird all around.
Problem 2: The Pool Edge Is Wavy
In Khloé’s attempt to thin her arms, she did the *BIGGEST* editing giveaway ever. She messed up the lines around her. When Khloé moved the background to squish in her arms, she also further indented her armpit area, pushing the pool up to make it all look smaller. However, the pool is unaware a Kardashian is in it/in front of it, and therefore would not move its concrete edges to accommodate them. The pool wall should be straight across, not suddenly jumping half a foot higher into Khloé’s armpit.
Problem 3: Rib Cages
Did Khloé have that same surgery that we somehow all heard about in 8th grade, where Marilyn Manson had to remove a rib so he could suck his own dick? 1) Why did everyone hear this rumor? 2) Whoever started it deserves a medal. I went to four different schools that year, and in different states, and somehow it made it to all of them. Anyway, Khloé forgot to leave room for internal organs and ribs in her editing, as many a Kardashian does. Sorry, it doesn’t matter how thin you are, your body would not be a perfectly smooth (and very blurry) line in this position. You can see the difference in the ripples and hard lines where she stopped editing where her bikini bottoms fit and below. She cut her rib cage clean off for this edit and also made the following mistake in the process.
Problem 4: The Water Is Not Wavy
In Khloé’s attempt to make herself a lumpy-armed, ribless beauty, she forgot that water moves. I think she edited her waist/arms by smearing the pool around her, which is how the pool edge became uneven *just* under her arm. This also created a problem, in what is really the Bermuda Triangle of Photoshop Fail in this picture. Water moves, guys. I don’t know if you knew that, because Khloé somehow did not. In fact, you can see the uneven water ripples everywhere around them, except the part of the pool in the Bermuda Triangle of Photoshop Fail. There, the lines are *perfectly* parallel. Too perfectly, actually. This is what happens when you destroy the background by using a cheap editing app and not hiring a pro. Though, given how badly their professional photos are edited, I can’t blame her for not wanting to spend the money.
Problem 5: A Chunk Of Her Ass Is Missing
This one I have no explanation for. What exactly were you trying to do, woman? Is this a result of blurring the background so poorly? Did you try to make your ass bigger and missed an entire section? Unclear, but definitely a huge fail. Good job creating yet another unrealistic expectation for women’s bodies.
In conclusion, what could have been a totally cute photo got massively f*cked up due to Mommy’s vanity. Khlo, u ok? I know you’re going through some sh*t right now, but please remember you’re some kind of f*cked up role model for women, and you have to remind them that it’s totally okay to have stomach rolls, arm fat, unflattering poses, blemishes, cellulite, and ribs. Also, this of it this way: if you just left your photos alone, you would not have tumor arms or chunks out of your ass missing. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Images: Giphy; khloekardashian / Instagram
There’s no better part of Halloween than getting the chance to judge everyone’s costume choices. Who’s going as a basic slutty cat and who will wildly offend everyone at the party? But of course, the most intriguing and expensive costumes come from celebs. So who better to judge than the Kardashians? Year after year, the Kardashians tend to go all out—especially Kim. At press time, Kim has not yet posted a picture of her Halloween costume, but we’re sure it’s going to be iconic. Some of her best past looks were Jasmine from Aladdin, a mermaid (but like, not in a basic way), and Poison Ivy, so we can’t wait to see what she’s going to do this year. But the other Kardashians posted their Halloween costumes, so we get to judge those. Who did it best? Here is our ranking of the Kardashian Halloween costumes.
1. Kylie And Stormi
Obviously, first place must go to the butterfly duo of Kylie and Stormi. If this isn’t mommy-daughter goals, IDK what is. Ky went full-out and DIYed had someone make her beautiful wings. Of course, her mini-me had to look just as ~fly~ with her own set of baby wings. In true Kylie fashion, the base of her outfit (a skin-tight bodysuit) is understated but still serving major MILF vibes. Points for attention to detail with Stormi’s hairclip, perfectly matching her attire and Kylie’s butterfly details on her shoes.
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2. Khloé And True
A very close second place goes to the Mama Koko and True! These two went for the matching bodysuit tiger look. Initially, we were disappointed by Khloé’s lack of creativity (a unicorn is basic, sorry), but she really one-upped herself. Khloé’s makeup is also fantastic and really makes her look like a
YouTuber sexy tiger. But can someone please tell her The Lion King is about lions, not tigers. So like the circle of life lift doesn’t totally apply…cute pic either way though.
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3. Khloé And True
In third place, below themselves, are Khloé and True in their unicorn outfits. Just when you thought True couldn’t get more adorable, she literally became a stuffed animal. Her cheeks might be the most perfect things I have her seen. I just want to pinch them! Wait, who am I? Anywho… Mama Koko kept it cute with her matching onesie, but still managed to glam it up with some jewelry and a matching manicure. Also, a special shout-out to Chicago for making an appearance in her own unicorn headband.
Back on the list in third place is Kylie for her solo Barbie look. Although the costume on its own wouldn’t be that impressive, Kylie went for it and added in the whole f*cking box. You also KNOW she didn’t wear that sh*t out, so that was totally for the Insta. That’s what Halloween looks like when you’ve got 900 million followers, I guess? Points also go to her for the slightly ironic caption, because truly, her life in plastic really is fantastic.
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Not gonna lie, Saint’s costume was kind of lame, but he’s too cute to be in the last place. According to Kim’s caption, Saint is supposed to be a pumpkin, but like, maybe a Yeezy baby pumpkin? I’m all here for the minimalist Halloween looks, but I feel like Saint is for sure capable of producing a more extravagant look. Perhaps there’s more to come…we’ll be waiting!
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Our bottom of the list is, unfortunately, Kendall for her basic AF Austin Powers sex-doll costume. Usually, this would be fine and totes creative, but it looks like she bought it from Dolls Kill and put literally no money effort into her look at all. Listen Kenny, when your job is basically to post Instas, at least give us something with a little more wow. But I mean, if you want to dress up as Kendall as a fembot, you can go buy it on sale.
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Images: kendalljenner, kimkardashian, kyliejenner (2), khloekardashian / Instagram
For those of you who have been living under a rock, spent your Sunday hungover, or just came out of a coma, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian are in a huge fight. Kim and Kourtney’s fight is convoluted and figuring out WTF was going on honestly killed some of my brain cells. Luckily you have me to fill you in so you don’t have to do all the research yourself.
To recap, in last night’s season premiere of KUWTK, Kim and Kourtney had a major disagreement over the scheduling of their family’s Christmas Card photoshoot (this episode was shot in November, before you start @ing me in the comments). While Kim was putting a lot of effort to avoid conflicts with the whole family’s schedules, Kourtney didn’t seem to GAF. Kim then called Kourtney the “least exciting” to look at, which tbh is kinda true but super harsh and not really material to the scheduling issue at hand. Understandably Kourtney stormed out, and to make matters worse, it appears no one ran after her.
Khloé then called Kourtney on speaker to try and make peace, but Kim made like Trump on Twitter and basically blew up any chance for a productive resolution. Kourtney called Kim an “evil, distraught” human being and announced that she will “move to another state at some point, or another country.” She then later said that she “cannot wait for that day and hopefully just won’t have to have these fake relationships.” Wait, hold up, Kourtney said WHAAAT? These relationships are FAKE????!!!! What else has Hollywood been lying to me about??
While some viewers believe Kris Jenner orchestrated the whole feud to generate more ratings (probable), others are convinced their feud was genuine as Kourtney refused to attend Kim’s baby shower for Chicago. Kim hoped that Kourtney would put the feud behind her for the family event, but when she didn’t, Kim said, “So, I don’t think she’s big on family because if she was, she would be at my shower.”
Kourtney upon hearing this, probably:
Even though this feud happened months ago, it seems feelings are still raw, as the sisters went at each other last night on Twitter while reliving the fight on TV with the rest of us. We would be shocked to learn that this was just a PR stunt to get KUWTK ratings up and prefer to believe that Kourtney is, in fact, the sole Kardashian that slightly resembles a normal human, even if it makes her the most boring.
At the end of the day, we can’t feel that bad for any of the Kardashians as they’re making millions of dollars to fight with their siblings. The rest of us just do that for free.
It’s been a few weeks since the news of Tristan Thompson cheating on Khloé Kardashian broke, and I’ve thought about it a lot. Mostly I’ve hoped that Khloé locked him in a dungeon and was only letting him out for basketball games, but Khloé and Tristan were spotted together over the weekend, which means everything in this world is still wrong. Khloé, honey, I know you love him or whatever, but this man is a grade-A asshole! Why are you not on the first private jet back to Calabasas?? Everything about the saga of Khloé and Tristan is depressing, but let’s go over the newest developments.
Last week, there were reports from some lovely anonymous sources that Khloé is “leaning on Kourtney” to get through this tough time. KoKo responded in a cryptic/joking way, but it was the first time she had actually broken her silence. Now, she’s not saying anything, but she’s making it pretty clear that she’s still with Tristan. On Friday, Khloé and Tristan were spotted together at a restaurant in Cleveland. In a grainy paparazzi photo that was clearly taken from 300 feet away with a fucking telescope, Khloé wears giant sunglasses while looking like she just ate an entire lemon, and Tristan just stares at his phone. WHY YOU STILL TEXTIN’ BITCHES, TRISTAN?
They were at a restaurant called TownHall that has a Paleo Night every Wednesday, so at least we know Khloé is still in charge of picking where they go to eat. Is it technically a revenge body if you’re still dating the man you need revenge on? I can’t decide. Also, whose arm is that across the table from Tristan and Khloé?? Is it a body guard to make sure Khloé doesn’t poison Tristan’s food? I need answers. Unfortunately, we didn’t get any more information about Khloé and Tristan from their awkward-looking dinner, but then Khloé made another appearance at the Cleveland Cavaliers game on Saturday night. I have mixed feelings about this.
So I understand that basketball is, like, really important to Tristan, and he’s in the middle of the playoffs right now. It’s nice of Khloé to go and support him, but also what the fuck has he done to earn her support at this time? Also, the entire cheating incident went down when he was traveling for a basketball game! Khloé should fucking hate basketball at this point! Maybe she’s really just at the game to keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t get too friendly with any of the cheerleaders. From the pictures, I can’t tell how big of a purse she was carrying, but it must have been big enough to fit Tristan’s balls inside.
So it seems like Khloé and Tristan are pretty committed to making it work at the moment, and I guess I can’t really blame them. Khloé has wanted a baby for a long time, and it’s obviously a huge life decision to break up with the father of your child. That being said, get your shit together Khloé. This man is a proven douchebag, and if there’s anyone who has the resources to make it work as a single mom, it’s Khloé fucking Kardashian. You know Kris Jenner is basically doing nothing and would love nothing more than to raise another child.
Images: @enews / Instagram; Giphy