I’ve always said that being hot is really 75% just proper hygiene. Just looking clean and polished ups your hotness ratio by a lot. (I mean, except if you’re a guy living in LA, and then somehow you’re allowed to look filthy and still be considered hot because it’s “grunge”.) Celebrities have the means to push this further. Even without the plastic surgeons, they have access to the best hair stylists, very expensive extensions and wigs, the most skilled makeup artists, personal trainers, personal chefs, and the list goes on and on. Meanwhile, looking my best as a regular person means putting on makeup in 10 minutes and poorly curling my hair—maybe putting on jeans instead of leggings (but usually not, jeans are formal wear, everyone knows that). But really, if we all had Kardashian money and access, how much better looking would we be?
Well, I decided to put that question to the test. Not by somehow becoming an overnight billionaire, but by taking a look at what the Kardashians used to look like before all the money and the fame. The Kardashian-Jenner clan were always rich, let’s make that clear, but once they got in the public eye, they started really shelling out cash for their appearance. So what does being rich and having access to the the best of the beauty world do to your face? Let’s take a look.
Kim went from styling her makeup like Jafar to a “natural” look. (I put “natural” in quotes because it still probably takes her a ton of makeup to get there.) Kim talking about makeup was the first time I had even heard the word “contour,” and say what you will, but she heavily influenced the way all of us think about makeup. She really does look like an entirely different person from her past self, and for some reason, also stopped smiling in photos. Is that a rich person thing or from the Botox?
I really thought that Khloé would look the most different due to her dramatic weight loss, but really, she was actually pretty thin before she was mega-famous. Now she’s just super ripped and in shape. In addition to the obvious hair color change, Khloé got a tan, is no longer subject to normal human problems like oily skin, enhanced her lips, and is “contouring” her nose differently. I will say, the makeup is definitely better! Why did we all think having shiny lips was a good look?
I always felt like Kourtney had the least amount of work done of her entire family, but this photo makes her face seem pretty significantly different. One thing being that she looks super miserable in every single photo now. Is that part of being “high fashion”? Or is that just proving what they say about money not buying you happiness? IDK. What I do know is that years of the best makeup artists got Kourt to grow out her brows and stop with the heavy-handed black liner. I say, from my high horse, although this was my *exact* look in middle school, too. Complete with the hoop earrings! It was just of the times for a regular person. But the money definitely changed Kourt from being subjected to us regular people trends (and, from the looks of it, also changed her nose).
Kris was always cute, and now she’s still cute, but she kinda looks like an entirely different person. Since her early days, Kris grew out her hair, got lash extensions, a new nose, and thicker eyebrows. She also lightened up the makeup, which makes her look way younger, but somehow has less wrinkles in the recent photo than the before thanks to her documented facelift and Botox.
Kendall and Kylie are harder to show because they were literal children before they started their cyborg transformation. But I tried to find photos of them in their late teens. I always thought Kendall looked the most natural out of all of them, with most of her changes being to her makeup, nose, lips, and learning how to serve ~lewks~. Seriously, can Kendall teach me how to pose? I’m sick of looking awkward in every photo. I will say that her lips definitely look fuller, and not just from overlining them, but that’s neither here nor there.
In a correlation that is definitely related, Kylie has the most money and has changed the most. Aside from being a child in the original photo, clearly there is a lot going on for this total glow-up. Surgery/fillers aside, the biggest changes to Kylie’s face really look like they’re from just having the best of the best makeup and hair people. Before, she did her makeup like every other 14-year-old. Now she looks like a true celebrity, with perfectly filled brows, contour, super long lashes—the works.
This goes to show, with enough money, we could all look like these celebrities. It’s been said before, but I’ll say it again: nobody’s ugly, just poor.
Images: Tinseltown / Shutterstock.com; Jeff Vespa/WireImage; Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for Sean Combs; ANDREAS BRANCH/Patrick McMullan via Getty Images; Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images for UCLA; Michael Caulfield/WireImage; Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Dior Men; Ron Galella, Ltd./Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images; Erik Voake/Getty Images for ThinkBIG!, Nazarian Institute; Michael Tran/FilmMagic via Getty Images; Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images; Stefanie Keenan / Getty Images; Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic via Getty Images