It’s a sad day in Bachelor Nation, as Bachelor In Paradise alums Kendall Long and Joe Amabile announced their breakup. Excuse me for a moment while I go collect myself. On a scale of one to Bachelor-couples-we-actually-care-about, I’ve gotta say, this is up there. As a quick refresher, Joe appeared first on Becca’s season of The Bachelorette, where he got famous as Grocery Store Joe, despite being sent home on night one, because he was so cute and pure. Kendall made it to the final three of Arie’s season, but honestly, she probably dodged a bullet there. Just think, she could be married with a baby and flipping houses in Phoenix right now!
Kendall and Joe met on season 5 of Bachelor in Paradise, and they kind of seemed like they were meant to be from the beginning. Kendall got cold feet about how fast their relationship was moving, and Joe left Paradise, but they got back together shortly after when she visited him in Chicago. Kendall is from LA, and Joe moved there when he went on Dancing With The Stars in the fall of 2018. That feels like it was 200 years ago, but I also literally don’t know what day it is right now.
Things seemed to be going well, but Kendall and Joe surprised everyone by announcing their split on Wednesday. In a joint statement to Bachelor Nation, they gave us some insight on why they’re splitting: “We have decided mutually to go our separate ways. Joe has made the decision to move back to Chicago while Kendall will be remaining in her hometown of Los Angeles. Our family and friends have always been an extremely important element to who we are as people. We can’t imagine continuing our lives without them closer, especially when thinking of starting a family of our own one day. We both respect each others’ decision and still have a great deal of love for each other. We appreciate all the love and support everyone has given us throughout our relationship.”
So basically, Joe wants to be closer to home in Chicago, and Kendall isn’t down to leave LA. Tale as old as time. It’s a logistical issue that’s led to countless breakups, so it kind of makes sense, even though I am incredibly bummed. I hope that’s really what happened here, because I hate to think that anything messy could’ve happened with this couple. They were posting happy pictures with each other as recently as a few weeks ago, so I don’t think we’ll be getting any Jordan and Jenna level drama here, thank god.
Really, the biggest question here is whether Joe and/or Kendall will return to Bachelor in Paradise this summer, because I could see either of them thriving if they came back. Like, no pressure or anything, but I would love to get some more shirtless Grocery Store Joe footage on my TV. ABC producers, please take note. But while this breakup is definitely sad news, I would also like to make it expressly clear to Joe that my DMs are wiiiiiiide open. Just saying!
Images: Morgan Lieberman/Getty Images; keykendall88 / Instagram
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Happy Thursday! I’ve woken up in a world where recent Bachelor in Paradise reject, Leo Dottavio, had a very public meltdown on Twitter last night. You know, the guy who gaslighted the sh*t out of Kendall, threw a drink in Joe’s face, and otherwise trashed whatever goodwill he’d earned on The Bachelorette. Over the past 24 hours, Leo has tweeted what some perceive to be attacks on former friends, threats of violence, and messed-up views on masculinity. While we expect this kind of behavior from our government, it’s much more unsettling when it comes from a Bachelor in Paradise contestant. Let’s take a look at how this spiraled out.
Apparently, things kicked off with this tweet from previous contestant Amanda Stanton.
Just got a lovely DM from Leo calling me a “piece of shit” & that my tweet about him last night is going to “come back to haunt me”…so i guess he can never blame “editing” #BachelorinParadise
— Amanda Stanton (@amandastantonnn) August 29, 2018
Oh, and in case you were wondering the HEINOUS tweet that sparked his outrage:
Catching up on #BachelorInParadise from last week. Thoughts: 1. I’m glad Jacqueline went home. She was too good for this show. 2. I love seeing @JubileeSharpe1 face on my TV! 3. Leo scares me.
— Amanda Stanton (@amandastantonnn) August 28, 2018
There was also, reportedly, a comment about Leo’s place of employment. The Daily Mail reported that Amanda said, “Slightly off topic but Leo did get fired from WaterWorld, right? Need to make sure before I take the kids…”
Apparently Leo has some sort of Jonathan Cheban-level radar for his name (as one commenter pointed out, she didn’t even tag him).
Original tweets have been deleted from this point on, but luckily US Weekly has done some detailed reporting, and Instagram account @thebachelorbanter is here with the receipts. Leo reportedly fires back with the following:
If you’re unclear what this is about, please see Bekah and Leo’s interactions from earlier this month. Basically, Bekah got some DMs from women alleging Leo had sexually harassed them. He denied everything and had his lawyer send Bekah a letter demanding she retract her statements and issue an apology. He insisted, as he still does, that the harassment claims are false.
At this point, Tanner (another former contestant), suggests that Leo needs help. Leo responds with a joke about being a narcissist, then tells him he wants to fight him. Again, I’d recommend reading this in full, but he really gets into the masculinity politics with the ending: “When I knock you out can I stand over you and call you a beta?” I can only hope this is a joke and real men don’t call each other “betas” and “alphas”, except I read enough Reddit to know that there are absolutely people out there who use those terms in earnest. I just can’t be sure if Leo is one of those people.
With that tweet, Leo sets off Nick Viall’s spidey senses for when a sensitive male Bachelor contestant is needed. Either that, or he felt an interaction involving the Bachelor franchise had just gone on too long without him. He chimes in with the following tweet:
Breaking news: Self proclaimed Alpha suggests Charity boxing match with someone they have a clear physical advantage over as means to inflate their own ego all while further demonstrating their deep insecurities. https://t.co/EyyR0qC6xZ
— Nick Viall (@viallnicholas28) August 29, 2018
Look, Nick Viall’s never been my favorite person. But someone if someone is going to call out toxic masculinity, the guy who cried in every episode of The Bachelor seems like a good candidate. Again, Leo deleted his responses, but US Weekly reports the following response: “Hey nick how about you and tanner at the same time vs me?… For allllll the marbles let’s goooooo.” Nick’s response to this is still up—as are the comments.
Wait … you can beat us both up at the same time? … that’s like sooo cool https://t.co/TNcyTnUBnS
— Nick Viall (@viallnicholas28) August 29, 2018
Now, maybe there’s some fun new youth lingo I’m missing out on, but I truly had no idea where Leo was going with the “marbles” comment. So I have to say that Dean’s responses are my absolute favorite here. NO, NOT JUST BECAUSE HE’S SO PRETTY. (Hi Dean!) Look how funny this is:
Are marbles still a thing? Why would anyone want ALL the marbles. Honestly, that seems like a burden.
— Dean Michael Unglert (@deanie_babies) August 29, 2018
A BURDEN. Dean. I’m laughing, I’m crying, I’m gazing into your blue, blue eyes…ugh. This brief moment of lightness is interrupted by Leo’s now-deleted tweets back at Nick, reportedly saying the following:
“Jesus your forefathers would frown at your weakness my friend…This kind of adherence to physical altercation is what makes high school kids turn to guns. Be a good example and stand up to a cyber bully like I am… in person.”
I don’t think Leo knows what “adherence” means or how to use it. But I think he meant to say that refusing to engage in physical violence is the reason why kids shoot up schools…? It’s not the guns that are the problem; it’s the fact that boys are no longer beating the sh*t out of each other on a regular basis. Someone call Betsy DeVos and get mandatory fight clubs in school across the nation.
Finally, I happily don’t have to deal with his “forefathers” comment, because Nick Viall did it for me:
Apologies for the delayed response. I went to a WaterWorld to look for you but you weren’t there.
To be honest, my forefathers might have frowned at my support of feminism and gender/race/sexual orientation equality too …so like, it’s fine https://t.co/iAPuaRg8CP
— Nick Viall (@viallnicholas28) August 29, 2018
For those of you who have lives outside of this, the WaterWorld dig is a reference to the fact that Leo reportedly works or worked there. And look, I hate to give Nick Viall the “feminist hero” title he’s so blatantly vying for, but if the gender-neutral cape fits…
Even Deanie Babies, who in all other instances wins me over, was a little off the mark with his response. He commented “I would have forgotten we’re living in the 1920’s without it,” which misses the point that sadly, this kind of garbage is as prevalent in 2018 as it ever was.
Leo ended the feud with a very confusing comment that amounts to “real men don’t shoot up schools”. No, I’m not sure how he got there, either, or if he watches the news. What I’m also not sure of? How many brain cells I lost in following this feud.
Mostly, my feelings from all this are outrage toward ABC. ABC, you need to screen your contestants better before you give them a national audience. First of all, for the safety of ALL contestants, and second of all, to give our eyes a break from this guy who is, at best, woefully inept at successfully pulling off sarcasm. 2017 me is shocked to hear me say this, but praise be for Nick Viall and Deanie Babies—the true heroes of last night’s saga.