Guys, we made it to 2021. After the complete bullsh*t that was last year, I really hope this year is better. Although so far it’s not super great. I mean, wtf, I thought when the new year hit, everything would be magically fixed, I’d suddenly have the will to exercise again, and the world would make sense. Is that not how it works? But the good news is despite the world literally going up in flames (at least in the U.S.) and a global pandemic, we will always have some consistency in our lives. And that is the fact that Kim Kardashian (no longer West) has no idea what her face looks like. She also really has no idea what a human face looks like. As we know, Kim is the guiltiest of guilty when it comes to Facetune/Photoshop, second only to her sister Kylie. Let me tell you, at this point I’m partially convinced they’re just lizard people trying to pose as humans because why else must they edit their faces so much in every single pic? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, GUYS?
So my editor sent this pic:
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And I was like, “K, cool, who is this?”
Which. Do you know how many articles like this I’ve written about Kim? Do you know how many valuable hours of my life I have spent staring at her stupid face(s)? And still, this edit is so bad that I legit did not know who it was until I looked at the name. And even then, I was like, “Wait did they use some model? IS SHE JOKING?” But no! She was not joking. Kim thinks this is passable for her own face (and don’t even get me started on the body).
So, why doesn’t it look like Kim? Well. For starters, it looks like Bella Hadid.
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Who, let’s be real, doesn’t seem to look like herself (or human) anymore either. (What the f*ck is happening to these people???) Look, if you’re going to be editing your pics (which, I highly suggest you don’t, because I think it ultimately harms your self-esteem, aside from fixing just small things like acne or lighting), keeping your face proportions consistent is the most important. I’ve said it a million times, and I’ll say it again: These slight differences are truly what gives you your own face. The Kardashian Krowd does not do this, and that is why every pic of them looks like different people.
Here’s a close-up of Kim’s pic:
What, and I cannot stress this enough, THE F*CK? She looks like her face is made of playdough. The entire left side is stretched out and it looks like she realized this and tried to smush it back together, resulting in a nose that is literally melting off her face. Her eyes are pulled into a super sharp angle (very common surgical procedure too—see above, Bella Hadid), but she pushed it even further and now they don’t even match. Her lips are also smashed and blown up way bigger than even her injections would allow.
Casual reminder that this is Kim’s normal (well, for all the work she’s had done) face, as of February 2020.
And in case you want to try to tell me It’S tHe AnGle, here ya go.
Here you can really see how bulbously stretched out the left side of her face is. She’s looking almost totally straight forward with a slight head tilt, and yet her nose is all shoved to the side. It gets harder and harder to line these pics up the more she warps her face. I did this one based on her head size and lining up her nose position and lips. Girl, put the Facetune down!
Kim, I know times are tough, super sorry to hear about the divorce, but I really don’t want to know what kind of men you’ll attract with this smashed out head and face look you are going for. Maybe you could try just being yourself?
Images: Karwai Tang/Getty Images; kimkardashian, bellahadid / Instagram; Tenor
2020 was an absolute garbage year, and I am sooooooo happy to see it go. If there is anything positive about the disaster that was this year, it’s that we will never take small things like going out with friends, drinking at a bar, or even going to work in an office for granted again. You’d think with everything going on in the world, our favorite celebrities and influencers would have better things to focus on than editing their photos to oblivion. You would think. But in 2020, being at home more just meant more time for them to Facetune out their rib cages, warp some walls, and give themselves Voldemort noses. Figures. There are sooooo many bad celeb photos that could have made this list, but I cut it down for you to just some of my absolute favorite Photoshop fails. Let’s use this as inspiration for what NOT to do in 2021. Maybe our positivity from owning our real faces and bodies will manifest a better year. That’s how that sh*t works right? And then you buy some crystals or something? IDK?
Anyway, let’s get to it. Here are *some* of the worst Photoshop Fails of 2020:
Khloé Kardashian
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This year, my reigning Photoshop Fail Queen is Khloé Kardashian. Every single photo of her is a different woman—none of which are Khloé! Khloé has always been my favorite and I would looooove if she realized she’s a badass bitch and doesn’t need to mutilate her face in every photo. Khloé had a lot of faces this year, but my favorite is for sure this one. It was just sooooo poorly edited and looked nothing like her, and she tried to play it off like it was just her new hair color, which was hilarious. Even better was when Keeping Up With The Kardashians aired and gave us receipts. I definitely think constantly editing your pics heavily affects your self-esteem in a negative way, since you’re essentially just telling yourself repeatedly that you aren’t good enough naturally. Khloé, leave your cheating man and put the Facetune down! In both instances, you can do better, girl!
Kim Kardashian West
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This is the KarJenner section of our worst Photoshop fails, because obviously they dominate any of these lists. Kim is also guilty of having a new face in every single photo, but this one really made me laugh. This edit was so sloppy that not only are Kim’s sides completely scooped out (like what? How is this supposed to be natural?) but they forgot an EXTRA HAND in her hair! Thanks, Kim, for reminding us just how heavily your photos are retouched.
Here’s a close-up:
Kylie Jenner
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Could an article on the worst Photoshop fails be complete without Kylie Jenner? Like her sisters, every photo of her looks NOTHING like she does in real life. Sidenote: I actually ran into Kylie at my gym a few years ago and did not recognize her at all. This was especially bad because I watched KUTWK then. Like, I knew what she looked like—or so I thought. It didn’t click until I saw her car. But anyway, Kylie is more like a work of art than a real person in her photos at this point. When she was showing off her new pool at her house, though, she gave away her Facetune use by leaving alllll the pool lines wavy AF. If you can’t see it, you can find my draw-overs here.
‘The Bachelor’
lol did the editors use MS paint to add more of a bikini bottom to Victoria F’s butt? #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/jYOHFZB8u3
— Fiona (@fionasimone) February 4, 2020
This is one of my FAVORITE things all year, and not just in the Photoshop Fail world. The Bachelor decided to forgo their previous method of using a black box over tiny bikini bottoms and just have some intern use MS Paint to color in some full-coverage bottoms. I mean, HOW was this the solution? Also, what’s with the black boxes anyway? What part is supposed to be so offensive? Butt cheeks? I think everyone who watches this show has seen that before. I really don’t understand this kind of censorship, but I do love a sloppy coverup attempt like this. Like look at these screengrabs from TMZ:
Yeah guys, that looks much, much better than just women having bodies.
Tana Mongeau
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Can I just post Tana’s entire Instagram? She is so bad at editing her photos, I can’t take it. If you just saw that face pic, you would have NO IDEA who this even was! Especially considering she doesn’t look like this in real life. Here she is on YouTube:
Also, in the second photo, those railings and wall are the wobbliest things I’ve ever seen. Just let it go, girl. You don’t need it.
NeNe Leakes
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NeNe Leakes and Lisa Vanderpump were my favorite Housewives for a very long time. However, when I follow NeNe on Instagram, I just keep seeing this random 19-year-old girl instead of NeNe! I’m not really sure why someone as confident as NeNe feels the need to airbrush herself within an inch of her life and erase her nose from every photo, but it is a HUGE bummer. Especially as such a strong, badass, Black female role model, it’d be really cool to see NeNe own more of who she is instead of perpetuating the anti-aging, plastic-faced rhetoric women get shoved down their throats at every turn. Like I’d expect this kind of sh*t from Ramona Singer, but not you, NeNe! Do better in 2021, please.
What do you think were the worst Photoshop Fails in 2020? Who are the worst culprits that you see on Instagram? What accounts do you follow that make you feel better about Instagram? Let me know in the comments!
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Images: Vivien Killilea/Getty Images for Abyss By Abby; dylanhafer, kimkardashian, kyliejenner, tanamongeau, neneleakes / Instagram; fionasimone / Twitter; TMZ; Tana Mongeau / YouTube
With the world falling apart in a global pandemic, a lot of things are uncertain right now. But don’t worry friends, we have one constant that will never change in our lives. And that is Kim Kardashian West’s insistence on warping her face with Facetune. It’s one comfort we can always count on. I know she’s a regular feature of this column, but Kim has actually impressed me quite a bit lately with her legal advocacy work and studying to become a lawyer. It’s nice to see someone with that much power and influence using it for good. But despite her having a priority change, Kim is still messing with her face worse than ever. Because Kim likes to use quick-fix apps like Facetune, her face often turns out looking different than it did before. In fact, half the time she’s straight-up unrecognizable, such as in this post she did a few days ago:
Really, though? Who is this? It looks a hell of a lot different than the person she posted four weeks ago:
Do these not look like two completely different women? Sidenote: super happy to see Kim posting about supporting children’s hospitals right now, so she gets brownie points for that. At least her selfies are being taken (and edited) for a good cause.
But I just can’t get over how different she looks in every single picture, and I think this is why: every time she warps her pics, she does it slightly differently. In the new picture, for instance, she made her eyes, eyebrows, and lips humongous.
Do you see the drastic difference, even though both pictures are clearly edited? I had a field day trying to get these to line up because of the difference in features, but I lined them based on her head size and nose (even though her nose in both of them is almost completely erased). In the newer picture, her eyes are about 1.5 times the size of her eyes in the older one, even though they’re half-closed! Her eyebrows are literally double or more. And her lips are doubled, too!
I say this a lot in these articles, but the biggest problem with face editing is that your features make you look like you. ANY amount of messing with the size of your features will suddenly make you look like another person. This is why I don’t like or approve of these types of edits—it can only hurt your self-esteem by making you feel like your own features are not good enough. Like, cleaning up broken-out skin doesn’t change what you really look like, but erasing your nose and giving yourself anime eyes sure as hell does.
If you’re having trouble seeing the difference, I traced the new picture’s features:
And then laid it over the old picture:
It’s like Kim is Mr. Potato Head—all her features are just swimming all over her face in different places!
Kim on Facetune:
You cannot just go rogue on all your proportions in every single picture and then wonder why nothing looks like you. Which one is the real Kim? Well, Kim posted a video of herself doing her makeup:
And this Kim looks completely different than the previous two also! Kim, you’re a master of disguise, but I highly recommend lightening up on Facetune. You claim to be so body positive (debatable, given the types of products she shills for) and yet you are constantly playing Jenga with your own face. And I’m sick of the super weird massive eyeball trend!
Girls on Facetune:
You all look scary.
Did you notice how Facetuned the new Kim pic was? Could you tell what was off about it? Why do people give themselves giant alien eyes? Do you do this kind of editing of your photos? If so, why and do you think it affects your self-esteem in real life? LMK in the comments!
Images: Instagarm (@kimkardashian) (3); Giphy (2)
Guys, sometimes I have a hard time finding good Photoshop fails. Like, everyone uses Photoshop or Facetune, and sucks at it, but it’s not fun unless there is some egregious error that we can all laugh at together. But every now and then, the universe pities me and just hands me the perfect image on a silver platter. And with that, I bring you Kimberly Noel Kardashian West. Like, the Kardashians honestly own these articles. They are by far the worst Facetuners and body modifiers we’ve ever seen. But despite their giant asses, tiny waists, giant eyes, airbrushed skin, warping vortexes, melting walls, crooked floors, even they can hit a new low. And that came this week in the form of a Halloween picture.
So, Kim K had a bunch of costumes this year. My favorite was her Legally Blonde video, which is nothing short of iconic.
Then they did this weird random alien thing:
Saint is like, “get me out of this family.”
They also did this, and I don’t know what’s going on here:
Also, why is Kanye exclusively wearing full GIANT bodysuit costumes now? It just seems super aggressive and hot to wear when it’s 90 degrees out, which it was all month here in Southern California?
But then they had a super cute idea where they’re all Flintstones characters. Also did you guys know it was FlinTstones? Because I swear, I have been saying FliNstones for my entire life and I had no idea there was an extra T in there.
I actually LOVE these costumes. This is a super cute idea, I love Kim as Betty (except WHAT the f*ck is her waist size?), the kids look great, and my only issue is Kanye as Dino, which is the stuff of nightmares.
But whatever, aside from that, it’s a great costume idea. I don’t even like kids, but I will say Kimye’s brood is actually really cute. UNTIL. UNTILLLLLL.
Hey Chi? You okay?
Kim admitted in the caption that Chi was so scared of Dino (I’m with you there, sister), that her photographer edited her in. She even shouted it out. As if he did a good job. I mean… WHAT? Who is this photographer? This is literally the worst edit I have ever seen, ever. Like, they just used the soft brush erase tool, erased her out in 30 seconds, left all the edges fuzzy, and slapped her in??? KIM, WHAT are you paying these people for this sh*t? The lighting doesn’t even match. The size doesn’t even match. That kid is gigantic compared to her siblings, and she’s the second youngest. Are you kidding me?
Also, her POSE doesn’t make any sense? She is clearly sitting on something, but it’s not the ground. The perspective doesn’t match. She doesn’t even have a shadow. What, is she a vampire??? Wait, actually, do vampires have shadows but just don’t have reflections? I should ask Kim, she seems like she’d know.
Kim, this is a garbage photo edit job. You can afford to get a decent retoucher. This isn’t even a hard problem to fix. All you’d do is position Chi with the family. Then take a photo of Dino the Monster by himself in the correct position. And splice them together. SO EASY. A basic Photoshop 101 class teaches this. Who. Are. You Paying. For this garbage?
Also, I can’t believe any photographer looked at this photo and said, “Yep. Looks amazing.”
But at least I can thank you for the laughs, because yikes.
Did you see how insane this photo is? Have you ever seen such a sloppy edit in a “professional” photo? I feel like the entire photo is ruined by this—like, you can’t unsee it or focus on anything else. I also think this is just proof that their photographer sucks at retouching in general. See you next week!
Images: kimkardashian / Instagram
In my lifelong search for Photoshop fails, I was originally going to do a more recent photo, but then I found this one, and I was like, oh my God, how, why, etc. I can’t just let it go. It’s too weird and funny. In today’s effort to leave Khloé alone (for now), we’re going to explore the Kardashians as a whole. Except, even they cannot be blamed for this one. Because today’s Photoshop fail is definitely the work of a professional. And by that, I mean the really bad work of a professional. This fail goes way beyond regular FaceTune bullshit. It’s the Kardashian/Jenner 2018 Christmas Card.
CHRISTMAS 2018.
? pierresnaps pic.twitter.com/TmwGeKS6QR— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) December 24, 2018
I remember seeing this photo on Instagram and thinking it was super cute. All the kids, excluding the less interesting family members (bye Kendall, Rob, etc). It’s a great photo and Christmas card idea. I also like when they actually smile in photos with their kids. Usually they are trying too hard to look high fashion and it looks like they f*cking hate their children.
Exhibit A:
Like, doesn’t Kim just look like she’s thinking, “Don’t you dare spit up on me, this is a Chanel”? And North is like, “They don’t pay me enough to deal with this shit.”
But the Christmas card, so cute. Everyone happy. (Well, actually except North, now that I looked at it. I guess she wasn’t paid enough for this one either. Or Penelope and Reign.) Loved it. I didn’t even notice anything wrong with it.
At first.
But then.
These are Khloé’s feet:
But…. they are also Kylie’s feet?
And…actually…one of Kim’s feet, but with a darker skin tone?
And Kourtney’s foot…
Is somehow… also… Kim’s other foot?
They wouldn’t, like, swap out their feet? Right? In fact, Kylie’s feet even look like the same foot flipped. But we could check that. They wouldn’t do that right? Like, what if I flipped them all in the same direction?
This is all the same foot, rotated, stretched, sliced, and warped a little so it looks like the angle is different. Then they blurred or repainted some of the toenails. And Kim’s foot is toned a little darker.
And Kourtney and Kim’s other foot:
Again, this is the same foot. The toes were just warped over so they are more squished. The warp tool kind of smushes things to move or drag them out. This is a CLEAR usage of it for the exact same foot. To prove it, let me do a quick edit to warp the first foot to match the second:
See? Now the toes are in the same position. This took me literally three seconds. From there, I would just erase part of the toes so they’re a little shorter, blur the nails, and erase out part of the foot. It would match the Kim K foot identically. And that’s how the photo editor tried to get away with disguising it as a different foot. But not different enough!
Sooooooooo, what the actual f*ck? Are the KarJenners just like, ridiculously insecure about their feet? Why would anyone do this? I wonder if they even knew this happened, or if the photographer did it without telling them they have ugly feet. What mostly likely happened is that feet just look super weird in photos. I don’t know if you’ve ever had this happen, but especially when you’re sitting back and your feet are closer to the camera than you are, a weird perspective thing happens where your feet look gigantic. That was probably the case here. But like, just leave it? It’s a normal photo thing?
The photographer decided to fix it by most likely just taking a stock image of a foot model and copy-and-pasting the same foot as many times as needed and then warped/sliced/blurred them to make them a little different. This is dumb on so many levels. I would have left it alone, or if I noticed their feet were huge while shooting, I’d move the camera. And I’m not even a photographer.
If he didn’t notice until later and it looked really bad, I would have shrunk their real feet and replaced them. If for some reason that isn’t doable, and they have crazy hideous feet (maybe it’s a Megan Fox toe thumb situation?), then AT THE VERY LEAST, use several different stock foot images for each person. Copy and pasting the same image over and over is like the easiest way to out an edit. It’s Photoshop 101. You don’t leave distinct repetitive marks. Especially not entire appendages!
I don’t even blame the Kardashian/Jenner clan for this disaster. This was definitely the work of a sloppy-ass professional and they should get their money back. Or hire a true pro that knows how to do this correctly (HI). Most people edit to hide acne, skin imperfections, body fat, bags under eyes, etc. But their feet? I mean, they’re all beautiful, can’t they be allowed to have ugly feet? Even that has to be a stock model? However, I will give the photog some credit. They all at least have the correct number of fingers in this one.
Omg, real quick. I was literally done with this article but I looked at the photo again and I’m pretty sure North’s face is Photoshopped into it. I have no proof, it just is a v awkward angle. Like it seems like Kim was covering her too much so they used a different photo to stick her miserable little head back in.
Doesn’t this just look off? They could have at least put one where she looked happy. Okay, that’s all. Byeeee, more Photoshop fails coming soon!
Images: @kimkardashian / Twitter; @kimkardashian / Instagram
Due to your love of Photoshop fails, we’ve decided to give you a WEEKLY Photoshop fail analysis by yours truly. Fo’ free. You’re welcome. I’m so proud to be able to contribute so much to society. That said, I was on the lookout this week for some new, f*cked up images, and I was like, “you know what? I’ve really been dragging Khloé Kardashian lately, I’m going to stay away from her.” She is actually my favorite out of all of the Kardashians, and I am 100% Team Khloé in the Tristan/Jordyn scandal. But like. Who isn’t? It’s very clear who f*cked up in that situation. That said, I was really, really planning on giving Khloé a break.
But then I saw this.
And. I just cannot let this one slide. Khloé, please, for the love of God, stop giving me material. Did you do this one yourself or did you pay someone for this? Because if so, slide into my DMs. I will edit your photos PERSONALLY.
Time for our favorite game, class. What is wrong with this photo?
Well, to begin with, it’s a totally gorgeous photo of the most relatable Kardashian sister. Apparently her look is inspired by Diana Ross and some people are screaming cultural appropriation, but I’m a white, privileged half-Jew (but on my mother’s side, so fully Jewish where it counts), so I can’t really comment on that. However, we definitely did learned that was not okay from RHONY, right, Luann?
Anyway, back to Khloé’s photo. She definitely edited the lighting, putting the pink fuzzy haze all over. The floor looks a bit warped but not too bad, that could have just been the angle of the camera. Her face has a ton of makeup on and is also super smoothed out like a plastic doll, so definitely some editing there. Again, a little overboard IMO, but pretty typical.
But then.
Hey Khlo.
What are you doing.
Are you. Are you okay?
Guys. Let’s crowdfund to get the Kardashians into an elementary level anatomy class. How many fingers do we have on each hand, children?
I honestly don’t understand how Khloé even did this, tbh. In an attempt to shrink her thighs, she must have used the stamp tool to move her hands over. Which. Is not how that works. Also, you can see, her thigh on her left side is a complete lumpy mess (yet again). I can’t believe she did it on both sides and was like, “this looks great! No one will notice I turned into a misshapen claw monster.”
The correct thing to do would be to accept your thighs and stop messing with your body for absolutely zero reason. She is in great shape! Let it go! But if you must Photoshop, you never, ever stamp entire limbs. Stamping works if you are covering something small, like texture or acne or something, so you stamp clear skin over the problem spot and it’s seamless. She should have left her hands completely alone, duplicated the layer, moved the background in to conceal part of her thighs, and erased the hands out so they’re in the original position. And that, my friends, is the difference between an amateur and an expert.
Or like, the difference between someone who knows how many fingers are on a hand and a Kardashian. So really, a kindergartner and a Kardashian. Also, can we have a moment to cry that women would rather be seen with 9 fingered claw hands than with slightly larger thighs? More unrealistic expectations for women, yet again!
Khloé, I can assure you, the original photo looked much better than the scary monster hands. You’re not good at this, so please just stop.
What other Photoshop articles would you like to see? Do you want tutorials on how to do Photoshop correctly? Should I fix some of these Photoshop fails for them? Do you need a basic anatomy course because you were also unaware that we have 5 fingers on each hand, not 9? Have you seen a Photoshop fail that you want me to write about? LMK. See you next week!
Images: khloekardashian, countessluann / Instagram; Giphy
Hello! And welcome back to your regularly scheduled Kardashian news breakdown. It’s like The Sup, but about butts and Photoshop, and is far more judgmental. Fun! For those of you who don’t have working eyes and ears and thus haven’t been following along, Khloé Kardashian has had a rough couple of weeks lately with the media. This is in part because we’ve been savagely roasting her ass for the Photoshop abominations she’s been trying to pass off as legitimate Instagram posts and, like, we’re not going to apologize for that. It’s called investigative journalism, sweetie, look it up!! And, look, the articles don’t all come from a bad place here. Khloé’s been my favorite Kardashian ever since Kim and Kris started gracing our screens in their matching Juicy tracksuits with their delusions of grandeur, but MY GOD, Khloé, I can’t see one more lumpy arm or a butt with missing chunks on my IG feed or I’m going to have to start reporting your posts to Instagram HQ for offensive material. Consider this your last warning, Khlo! But Khloé recently just came for all her photoshop haters, and let’s just say it was a petty masterpiece.
The clapback went down in Khloé’s IG comments, because apparently the comments section on Instagram is destined to be our generation’s courtroom. Here’s the sitch: last Friday Khloé posted a selfie to Instagram in which people in the comments section heavily implied that she had tampered with the photo. I’m not sure what gave her away: the millennial pink overlay or the fact that her face in this photo is entirely different than the one she was born with? Khloé wrote “Good vibes only” as her caption, which is pretty much an invitation for people to troll her photo—at least that’s what I tell my sister every time she thinks she can get away with using that caption (it’s for your own good, sis!). Judge the photo for yourself:
Look, I’m no Photoshop expert (you’ll have to slide into Holly Gobetchy’s DMs for that), so I’m not going to blast Khloé for what could be another photoshop fail or just a really good plastic surgeon “filter.” But my feelings are apparently too nice about the matter because fans WENT IN on Khloé for Photoshopping her selfie, to which Khloé responded with more passive aggression than I use to email HR about our lack of a summer Friday policy. Let’s look at the comment, shall we:
Wooowww the kissy face emoji, Khloé? Really? That’s the emoji I usually reserve for commenting on any sorority sister’s IG post thanking people for birthday wishes when I did not in fact wish her a happy birthday, but okay.
Let’s break down the comment real quick, shall we? We have one commenter @missdingledobbs, who thinks that Khloé photoshopped her selfie because in the photo we can’t see the mole that Khloé was born with on her face. We also can’t see the nose, lips, or cheek bones, but sure let’s focus on the mole. We have another commenter, @asmarsmi, defending Khloé by saying: “I have 3 on mine. Ahh the miracles of foundation and laziness of taking it off with a q-tip in those spots.” That’s the comment Khloé responds to with three kissy face emojis, effectively shading her hater and saying without really saying that this photo is the result of a sh*t ton of foundation and not photoshopping. K.
But Khloé’s not done yet! Another commenter said: “your eyes got pulled back too much.” To which Khloé responded with:
“@mari_888_sol so now my eyes are pulled back? Lol oh man… you guys are really reaching. But sure, whatever you want to believe. I’m good with whatever babe much love sent your way.”
Tbh I think Khloé has a fair point here. This photo was clearly not photoshopped so much as it was sculpted by her plastic surgeon in a remote Calabasas location 8-12 months prior. Come on, anyone can see that. Get your facts right, @mari_888_sol!
Well that’s your daily dose of Kardashian news. I’d love to say “that’s all for today” or even “that’s all for this hour” but knowing Kris Jenner and also Khloé’s passion for FaceTune, I’m sure you’ll be hearing from us a lot sooner than that. Until then!
Images: @khloekardashian /Instagram (3)
This is a PSA: Khloé Kardashian, for the love of God, will you (and your entire family for that matter) put down the poorly made editing apps? I already did an entire article on Kardashian Photoshop fails alone, and honestly, it took every ounce of self-restraint to not make that article 500 entries long. The Kardashians are just so bad at Photoshop! And I don’t even get why?? Number one, they are one of the most gorgeous families in America, and they should really be happy with the way they look. Two, they have (I assume) full-time teams of makeup artists, stylists, trainers, and plastic surgeons at their beck and call to deal with their dissatisfaction—they should not have to take out their issues on editing apps. Number three, and I said it before (but I’ll say it again), they have enough money that they could easily hire experienced graphic designers to manipulate their photos before they post. I mean, if you’re gonna erase chunks of your body (why? you all look amazing), at least do it the right way.
A short while ago, Khloé caught flak for making herself took tiny and her head look huge. This weekend, she was back at it again with a monstrosity of an Instagram post that’s going to take me several suitcases to unpack. You think the bad Photoshop can’t get worse and then you see something like this:
Here is what I do not understand. Khloé looks amazing rn. This pic is adorable. I’m sure the original picture required zero edits, but especially such poorly done ones.
Me to Khloé, but like, replace Britney with “YOUR PHOTOS”:
As a Photoshop expert and digital artist, I’m going to go ahead and tell you everything that makes this photo seem a bit off. Hopefully you’ll learn something and won’t make these mistakes when editing your own photos. Or, even better, get some self-esteem and stop pretending women are supposed to be freaky, blurry demogorgons with no fat!
Problem 1: Skinny Arm
More like too skinny arm. Let’s just dive right in here (no pun intended). Okay, this is the first thing I noticed wrong with the photo. I’ve blown it up, so it’s pixelated everywhere, but you’ll notice it is VERY blurry around the edges of Khloé’s upper arms. In fact, part of her bicep has a bit of a tumor (?) that is threatening to leave and join the grass behind her.
In fact??? Her whole arm is wavy and has chunks missing from it? 
Girl, you might need a doctor to check that out. It looks to me like the arm was pushed in on either sides, thus the extreme blurry edges, to look thinner. You can especially tell because the shadow on the bottom side of the arm is missing RIGHT where most woman get some arm fat. She forgot the bulge which is either probably where the real arm was, OR it was too difficult to do on the app, because of the grass shadow behind it. It also looks like she smoothed out the entire top part of the arm. It looks weird all around.
Problem 2: The Pool Edge Is Wavy
In Khloé’s attempt to thin her arms, she did the *BIGGEST* editing giveaway ever. She messed up the lines around her. When Khloé moved the background to squish in her arms, she also further indented her armpit area, pushing the pool up to make it all look smaller. However, the pool is unaware a Kardashian is in it/in front of it, and therefore would not move its concrete edges to accommodate them. The pool wall should be straight across, not suddenly jumping half a foot higher into Khloé’s armpit.
Problem 3: Rib Cages
Did Khloé have that same surgery that we somehow all heard about in 8th grade, where Marilyn Manson had to remove a rib so he could suck his own dick? 1) Why did everyone hear this rumor? 2) Whoever started it deserves a medal. I went to four different schools that year, and in different states, and somehow it made it to all of them. Anyway, Khloé forgot to leave room for internal organs and ribs in her editing, as many a Kardashian does. Sorry, it doesn’t matter how thin you are, your body would not be a perfectly smooth (and very blurry) line in this position. You can see the difference in the ripples and hard lines where she stopped editing where her bikini bottoms fit and below. She cut her rib cage clean off for this edit and also made the following mistake in the process.
Problem 4: The Water Is Not Wavy
In Khloé’s attempt to make herself a lumpy-armed, ribless beauty, she forgot that water moves. I think she edited her waist/arms by smearing the pool around her, which is how the pool edge became uneven *just* under her arm. This also created a problem, in what is really the Bermuda Triangle of Photoshop Fail in this picture. Water moves, guys. I don’t know if you knew that, because Khloé somehow did not. In fact, you can see the uneven water ripples everywhere around them, except the part of the pool in the Bermuda Triangle of Photoshop Fail. There, the lines are *perfectly* parallel. Too perfectly, actually. This is what happens when you destroy the background by using a cheap editing app and not hiring a pro. Though, given how badly their professional photos are edited, I can’t blame her for not wanting to spend the money.
Problem 5: A Chunk Of Her Ass Is Missing
This one I have no explanation for. What exactly were you trying to do, woman? Is this a result of blurring the background so poorly? Did you try to make your ass bigger and missed an entire section? Unclear, but definitely a huge fail. Good job creating yet another unrealistic expectation for women’s bodies.
In conclusion, what could have been a totally cute photo got massively f*cked up due to Mommy’s vanity. Khlo, u ok? I know you’re going through some sh*t right now, but please remember you’re some kind of f*cked up role model for women, and you have to remind them that it’s totally okay to have stomach rolls, arm fat, unflattering poses, blemishes, cellulite, and ribs. Also, this of it this way: if you just left your photos alone, you would not have tumor arms or chunks out of your ass missing. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Images: Giphy; khloekardashian / Instagram
