HBO, the unspoken hero of late 2020, knew that in order to survive the remainder of the year, we needed the most binge-worthy content, which they delivered in the form of a number series (The Undoing, anyone?). Aside from that and Murder on Middle Beach, one of their heavy hitters that got me through the year was The Flight Attendant starring Kaley Cuoco. It’s about a flight attendant (Cuoco) who wakes up after a layover in Bangkok to find a dead man next to her… and no idea of wtf happened the night before.
Contrary to popular opinion (aka that of my close friends) I wasn’t a huge fan of The Flight Attendant right off the bat. The flashbacks, though obviously the main plot of the show, irked me, and 99% of the time I wanted to shake Cassie for her irrationally bad decision making. I later realized that is literally the entire point of the show, but until I got there, I was not a fan.
Disclaimer: Spoilers ahead, so here is your chance to exit this piece while you can.
It wasn’t until Max got hit by a car that I started REALLY getting into The Flight Attendant. I was on the edge of my couch waiting to see how it all ended, and while the episodes leading into the finale were fun and exciting, the finale not only fell a bit flat for me, but also left me confused. Here are 5 things I’m still questioning days later.
1. All Things Megan
Megan’s character is a tricky one. Presuming you’ve watched the show if you’ve made it here, you know that Megan is Cassie’s coworker, self-proclaimed best friend, and… a spy stealing corporate secrets and intel from her husband and his job for the North Korean government. This plotline seemed juicy and fun, and I was excited to see how it tied into Cassie’s disastrous situation, because I ASSUMED it would. But you know what they say about assuming things…
Turns out Megan’s subplot was just that: a mostly unrelated subplot. There was no exciting twist that she was secretly working for (or stealing from) the Sokolov family. No finding out that this project is all a figment of her imagination and she’s actually losing it. No nothing. Just a train ride to nowhere, kind of like this plot point.
While the writers did throw in the ~twist~ of Shane working undercover for the CIA to keep tabs on Megan it didn’t really matter? Because he drunkenly reveals his true identity to Cassie (???) after saving her life (???) and doesn’t catch Megan. Shane tops it off by letting Cassie know the CIA wants to hire her (which is normal for someone who wakes up next to a dead body, lies to the government about it, is on the verge of liver failure, and only makes it out alive by continuing to fail upwards). I really needed more from this mess.
2. The Injuries
Now I don’t know about you, but my understanding when it comes to being shot or brutally stabbed is that one doesn’t typically walk away and carry on with their day. Apparently this rule does not apply to most of the characters in The Flight Attendant, and while I understand that TV magic is a thing, I can only suspend my disbelief so far.
For starters, Miranda. We first see Miranda get shot in the leg in a parking garage. Ouch. Luckily, Miranda has superpowers and is able to ignore her injury, kill Victor, and drive off to the airport. I literally can’t function when I stub my toe, but ok. Miranda’s superpowers continue after arriving in Rome (after figuring out a way to get on the plane despite the airport staff fully noticing she was shot and trying to stop her). After Cassie arrives in her hotel room, she faces a not-so-fun surprise when she finds Felix and Miranda hiding in her shower. Miranda looks dead in the tub, but, she’s not. In fact, she finds a way to escape yet again! Miranda has an almost-happy ending, escaping with the Sokolov money and even sending Cassie a departure gift of Alex’s book. Nobody is looking for her and she’s not wanted for murder (until season two, that is). All around, super realistic!
Next up in the injury department, we have
Joe Goldberg from You Felix/Buckley. This man survives quite the takedown in the Rome hotel room. Cassie first slashes his leg with a knife and then follows up by shooting him in what appears to be the upper leg/hip area. To finish the job (or so we think), Shane busts down the double-locked door and shoots Felix right in the chest. He’s somehow not dead, though. Buckley gives them a wave on his stretcher ride out and Shane remarks “son of a b*tch is lucky you only hit him in the leg,” which is confusing, because Shane just shot him in the chest (stomach?) five minutes ago.
Finally, Enrico. I’ll keep this one short and sweet. He takes a nasty stab wound to the stomach, gets KOed via Felix’s knee, and then survives. I’m not saying you can’t survive the above injuries, but, what? Max’s car accident was slightly unrealistic (really, he’s on a morphine drip after getting hit by a car and has no visible bruises or scratches?) but at least they put him in a hospital bed.
3. The Realization that Cassie is in Love with Alex
Now, I’m not here to tell you that you can’t fall in love with someone after a one night stand. People on The Bachelor fall in love after a lot less. That being said, I needed more of a reason for Cassie to feel so attached to Alex after one drunken night that she doesn’t even remember. In the book (yes, of course it’s based on a book), Cassie is pregnant with Alex’s child, which makes things a bit more complicated, but also a lot more understandable. When I was watching the show, I needed more of an explanation, because her coming to terms that she was in love with a figment of her imagination never quite added up. You can blame it on her past trauma, her drinking, her desire to break the habit of reckless behavior, but there was never a clear-cut explanation here and that is what I need from a finale—answers.
4. The Uneventful Ending of Hammond and White
First of all, if you’re reading this wondering who Hammond and White are, you’re not alone. While I was super familiar with the two FBI agents on the case, I genuinely had NO idea their names were Kim Hammond and Van White. But hey, the more you know. Anyway, aside from the obvious lesson learned (douchebag male agent thinks he’s right because of white male privilege and belittles Black female agent, only to be proven wrong in the long run), these two don’t serve a huge purpose in the end. After being cleared of Alex’s murder, Cassie arrives back in the states and goes to lunch with Annie like nothing ever happened. The show glazes over the aftermath of Cassie’s wild night (like the fact that she still woke up next to a dead body and lied to the FBI, the fact that she was a murder suspect and needed to be formally cleared, the fact that she witnessed like… five stabbings and shootings in an hour) and we never get to see her final interaction with Hammond and White. Given that their entire purpose was to find her and prove whether or not she was innocent, it felt like a missing piece to the puzzle skipping over the final details.
5. Stalker Felix
There’s a lot to unpack when it comes to the Felix/Buckley saga, but there were still some things that simply did not add up to me. In the finale we find out Felix was stalking Cassie, following her around the world using her license as a way of tracking her (?) He half professes his love to her, half wants to kill her to complete the job Victor assigned him, and it’s a bit of a confusing mess. Despite having like 100 chances to kill Cassie, he did not follow through—but he still stalked her like prey during their non-intimate moments.
My confusion stems from Cassie’s first time meeting Alex. Felix is on the flight (because he’s hired by Victor to kill Alex and get the money) but then tells Cassie that he was stalking her. So which one is it. Both? That is too messy. And then Cassie and Alex, his two prey, just happened to end up having a one night stand? That’s convenient. Maybe I’m not picking up what the writers were putting down, but I’m deeming this plot point a miss.
All that being said, I did enjoy the show. It was fun, different, and I thought Kaley Cuoco was perfect for the role. I just have two final questions. One, how did Cassie not even flinch when taking shots of that cheap-ass airplane vodka? Two, how did Cassie escape the scene of her father’s deadly drunk driving accident with no one questioning the fact that a drunk little girl, covered in cuts and blood, who was related to the drunk driver, was at the scene of the accident? Hopefully these questions get answered in season 2, which let’s be real, I’ll still be watching—confused or not.
Images: Colin Hutton (2), Karolina Wojtasik, Phil Caruso
So we guess Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson read our article about how they’re pretty strange as a couple, but kind of work well together. (Come on, Ariana Grande is definitely the kind of girl who Googles herself.) Anyway, it sounds like they took that article to heart and decided to get engaged. Um…okay. But before you judge them, check out some couples that dated for only a hot minute before getting engaged. Sure, almost none of their marriages lasted. But still, at least they got some (short-lived) marital bliss!
1. Lamar Odom And Khloé Kardashian
Khloé Kardashian and NBA basketball players go together like Adderall and double vodka Red Bulls. Sure, it’s a euphoric buzz at first, but that buzz will eventually devolve into some fucked up shit. Khloé and Lamar knew each other for 30 days before they got married. And you know what? They were actually really sweet together—until he started cheating on her all the time and developed a horrific drug addiction. The four year relationship lasted longer than we thought it would. Khloé is easily the most likable Kardashian and the one we root for the most, so it broke our hearts a little to see her get screwed over, but at least we never have to hear her talk in that cringeworthy baby voice to “Lam Lam” ever again.
2. Nick Cannon And Mariah Carey
Mariah Carey is the ultimate diva, and while we may worship her for that, I’d imagine that it’s got to be kind of hard to put up with that as a husband. So we gotta hand it to Nick Cannon for giving marriage to Mariah Carey a shot. He seriously said they listen to her music while they had sex. Usually I want to inject crazy celebrity sex myths into my veins, but even that was a bit difficult to stomach. But did you know they were only dating for six weeks before they got engaged? That’s kind of a short time to get to know someone and get a sense of how difficult and high-maintenance they can truly be. So maybe that explains why he married her to begin with.
3. Russell Brand And Katy Perry
Katy Perry has a history of doomed relationships. She dated playboy John Mayer on and off for a couple of years. And honestly, in spite of his sketchy history (remember when he dated Scheana from Vanderpump Rules?) we understood. Have you heard his music? You have two ears and a heart, don’t you? Then she moved on to Riff Raff and Diplo, who both look like what you would find at the bottom of your shoe after a bender at Electric Daisy Carnival. But Russell Brand was the man who lead the revolving door of fuckboys that come in and out of Katy’s life. Russell Brand. He’s a comedian (red flag because of their emotional issues), admitted sex addict (red flag because emotional AND commitment), and spokesman for PETA (red flag because, again, emotional issues). After dating for two months, the couple went on to have an over-the-top wedding in India. We all know that how expensive the wedding is is directly proportional to how expensive the divorce will be. Russell reportedly ended his 14 month marriage to Katy over—get this—a text message. So wait, the guy shits on people who eat steak and Chick-fil-A because it’s heartless, but ends his marriage via text? Okay then. He actually said a while back that he wants to be friends with Katy again. LOL sure.
4. That Tennis Player And Kaley Cuoco
Kaley Cuoco, star of The Big Bang Theory, married Ryan Sweeting, that tennis player who you don’t care about, after three months of dating. They ended up getting married on New Year’s Eve, which in and of itself is a red flag. Not because all holiday marriages are doomed for divorce, but because the only thing tackier than a holiday marriage proposal is a holiday wedding. They actually lasted for two years. Getting divorced so publicly sucks, but being on a show as terrible as The Big Bang Theory is still a much more embarrassing burden to bear in spite of the million dollar paycheck.
5. Kevin Federline And Britney Spears
Britney Spears has done some pretty shocking things in her career. How can we forget when she made out with Madonna or performed with an actual snake at the VMAs? Well, when she ended up making out with human snake Kevin Federline, that’s when we threw our hands up and stopped believing in Britney. I mean, he had a pregnant baby mama when he started up with Britney. They dated for only a couple of months before getting engaged. The day of their wedding, the bride and groom parties had their own Juicy Coutoure sweatsuits. The ladies wore pink tracksuits with “The maids” bejeweled on their backs, while Brit had “The Bride” on hers. The gentlemen (and we use that term very loosely here) wore white tracksuits that said “Pimps” in black cursive. Literally the only sign worse than the groom having a pregnant baby mama when he first met the bride is wearing a tracksuit that says “Pimp” on it. We’re sure they served Mountain Dew cocktails and a buffet of McDonald’s at the reception. Still, Britney and Kevin lasted a surprisingly long time. Well, they lasted three years, but that’s still a surprisingly long time for them.
6. Ken Todd And Lisa Vanderpump
Who would’ve thought the healthiest relationship on Vanderpump Rules was a couple that only knew each other for six weeks before getting married? They have been married for almost 40 years. My flirtation with the bartender at Make Believe has lasted longer than that engagement. My fake tan from Sugared + Bronzed has lasted longer than that engagement. Hell, my vibrator’s battery power has lasted longer than their engagement. This almost makes us think Brittany isn’t a total idiot for moving from Kentucky to L.A. after meeting Jax once in Las Vegas. She’s just a total idiot for turning a blind eye to the fact that he’s a manchild who will probably never change and getting engaged to him anyway.
7. Emily Ratajkowski And Sebastian Bear-McClard
Emily Ratajkowski is one of the sexiest women in the world, according to any men’s magazine, any guy, and, well, anyone with a pulse, really. So it totally shocked us when she got hitched to Sebastian Bear-McClard. First off, she had just broken up with her long-term boyfriend approximately five seconds prior and only knew Sebastian for several weeks. Second of all, he proposed to her at a restaurant with a makeshift ring made out of a paper clip. And lastly, they got married at city hall with the Fat Jewish as their witness. You know it’s a bad sign when your husband’s best friend’s job is highjacking memes and writing captions in caps lock. Sebastian is kind of cute because he’s like Landry from Friday Night Lights, if Landry was a first-string quarterback who never got friend zoned by Tyra instead of a nerdy benchwarmer. But still, they deprived us of the fairy tale wedding that Emily deserved. Who the hell wears a mustard suit instead of Vera Wang?
Images: Giphy (3)