You’ve definitely been there: scrolling through your Instagram feed, seeing more people than you can count talking (or posting) about celery juice. The green concoction has had quite the moment over the past two years, and there are no signs of the trend slowing down anytime soon. But why?
There’s a lot of skepticism surrounding both the celery juice trend and juicing in general—and rightfully so. You might be asking yourself, is it worth it? Why should I even consider drinking this? Granted, if you don’t love celery, then it might be difficult for you to get on board with this from the start. Celery juice has been credited with helping everything from bloating to psoriasis, which is a lot for a first-time juicer to take in and trust. I bet you’re wondering whether any of this is true, what the benefits are, and if making this an addition to your lifestyle is actually worth it.
Well, don’t worry. I’m here to break it down for you from A to Z. Before sipping on a glass of celery juice, read this.
Consuming any kind of green juice—not just celery juice—is great for your overall health. If you feel like you’re struggling to get the right nutrients with your meals, then it’s time to consider regular juicing. Rather than replacing your go-to meals with a glass of green juice or celery juice, add juices to your regular meal plan instead. Greens are loaded with vitamins and minerals, and can only be beneficial to your diet. One of the biggest benefits gained from juicing is the ability to slow down the aging process by preventing free radical cell damage to the skin. For example, Vitamin A, found in kale and spinach, promotes healthy and glowing skin, hair, and nails.
I will add, though, that juicing your fruits and vegetables means that you’re losing out on some of the benefits you get from eating them. Fiber, for example, is not as strongly present in juices as it is in whole veggies. With that being said, juicing is a great way to add more fruits and vegetables to your diet, but that doesn’t mean it’s a replacement for eating them.
What does this green liquid even do? The truth is, celery is loaded with a ton of benefits to begin with. These include digestion support, anti-inflammatory effects, a ton of antioxidants, and even hormone balance. If you’re looking to de-bloat, trying celery juice wouldn’t hurt. If you’re aware that you have a hormonal imbalance, I’d suggest trying it out and seeing how it affects you.
One thing that people like to note is that celery contains the cancer-fighting chemical compound luteolin, but I wouldn’t call it a “miracle food” myself. A 2017 study found that luteolin has anti-tumor and anti-inflammatory properties. And a 2019 study found that luteolin also has anti-diabetic properties, working to maintain blood glucose levels and improve the sensitivity of our cells to insulin so that they’re encouraged to work properly. The thing is, though, that there’s not enough research to officially declare that celery has these healing effects.
Making Your Juice
Since celery juice is only made with a single ingredient, it’s super easy for you to make at home. Making it at home rather than stocking up at your local juice bar is also a great way to save some cash. If you have a juicer at home, great—but you don’t need one to do this in the comfort of your own kitchen. A high-speed blender works just as well and will give you that refreshing, crisp taste everyone loves.
If you don’t shop organic, you absolutely must wash your celery before juicing it, because it’s one of the vegetables with the highest amount of pesticides if non-organic. When making your juice, throw in an entire celery bunch (with the stalks included) to get the most benefits out of it. You’ll just need to strain it afterward (a nut milk strainer bag works great) to remove the pulp.
To wrap this all up, I’ll say that I think any green veggie juice is amazing. You can’t go wrong with it. But do I think it solves everything when it comes to health? Not really. It actually seems unlikely at all, to be 100 percent honest!
We don’t want to get carried away. We should be eating these foods regularly to have a balance of all nutrients in our diets, but juice is just an added boost that won’t hurt us. If you do decide to take on juicing, but have a poor diet and aren’t active, then it’s not going to do as much as you hope. Your overall lifestyle and nutrition habits will always be the number one thing to affect your health, and you’ll have to put in the work to see the results.
Image: Sophie Mikat / Unsplash
Betches have long been drinking green juice after a drinking bender to feel healthy. Unfortunately for us when we’re already suppressing our gag reflex, veggie juices can be hella disgusting. Unless you’re a crunchy wook-vegan-nature-loving-tree hugger, don’t spew that shit at me about how you can feeeeeeel the toxins draining from your body while you try not to chew that yam and carrot concoction you call a juice. Spare me. We both know you’re miserable. Of course, if a betch needs a lil detox boost, some veggie juices are better than others. If you don’t own a fancy juicer and aren’t likely to drop the bucks on a $600 machine you’ll use on and off for a month before giving up, here are our favorite veggie juices so you can look fetch in your bikini this summer.
1. ZÜPA NOMA Organic Tomatillo Jalapeño
At just 80 calories for the whole bottle, you’re going to want to stock up on these. As far as a green juice goes, it’s totally different, and the whole gang of ZÜPA NOMA drinks are actually classified as drinkable soups, not juices. Stick with us even though it sounds gross. Instead of an oddly sweet vegetal concoction, this shit is like drinking the finest green bloody mary mix known to
man betch. Plus, all the other flavors (like organic cucumber avocado fennel, organic tomato gazpacho, etc.) are savory and delicious.
2. Jamba Juice Great Greens
If you’re someone who still, for whatever reason, goes to Jamba Juice,
go finish the 8th grade getchu a Great Greens smoothie. A small will deliver three servings of veggies to your hungover body, including cucumber, kale, and spinach. Plus there’s like, fiber and shit, so you’ll feel full and less likely to reach for a cheeseburger later.
3. BluePrint Green Juice
Kale, apples, ginger, romaine, cucumber and more come together for this shit which isn’t as sweet as other green juices. The $9 price tag may turn you off, but the lack of sugar, additives, and gagging make it a welcome addition to the list. Plus, it’s only got 130 calories and is 100% real juice.
4. Juice Press Mother Earth
This one from Juice Press blends celery, cucumber, kale, chard, and more for a really, really, really veggie-blasting drink. It may be a little extreme in taste (like, there’s NO sweet factor), but it’s not bad and is only 70 calories, so…grab this.
5. Evolution Fresh Sweet Greens
If you just looooveeee the taste of veggies, grab this off the shelf. Apparently, Evolution Fresh were some of the first green juice makers, so they’re totally legit. There’s a lot of parsley and lemon in this one, though, so if you’re not all about that herbal life, skip.
6. O2Living Green Vitality
A 16 oz bottle of this shit has 140 calories and only 6 grams of sugar. It isn’t super sweet, has cucumber and fennel which we fucking dig, and will help keep you full. Blessings.
7. Odwalla Groovin’ Greens
If you crave sweetness to cut the chugging of green juices, opt for Odwalla. Yah, there’s 36 grams of sugar, but you can blame the tropical pineapple, mango, and apple juices for that. It’s also only 150 calories for the bottle, which, honestly, counts as a meal when I’m struggling.
What greater holiday is there than a day that celebrates the strong, beautiful women who raised us? Go ahead, try to think of one, I’ll wait. 4th of July you say? Okay. Anyway, Mother’s Day really does serve as a reminder that we should be really really nice to all the moms in our lives because we too may be mothers some day and we don’t want a bitchy daughter who doesn’t appreciate us. So it’s good karma to get them a gift, right? A betch’s mom is the most important lady in her life. She’s given us endless words of wisdom on fuckboys, she’s reluctantly allowed us to borrow steal her clothes, and she always picked us up from school when we were feeling “sick”. She’s molded us into the betch we are today, and for that we are forever grateful. To show her how much you love her, we’re giving you a list of all our favorite brands/gift ideas that are perfect for every type of mom in your life. Welcome to the Betches Mother’s Day Gift Guide 2017.
FOR THE MOM WHO STILL GRABS CANDY FOR HERSELF AT THE CHECKOUT COUNTER
Hats off to this mom, she still answers to her sugar cravings and DGAF. Elevate her candy standards with Sugarfina’s Sweetest Mom Candy Bento Box and watch it disappear within 20 minutes of her opening it. If she’s into the juicing craze like any betchy mom, feel free to gift her a bottle of Pressed Juicery x Sugarfina’s green juice gummy bears. It’s the perfect candy she can eat while convincing herself that she’s healthy AF. These are the chicest and yummiest candies ever, and I’m sure this mom won’t mind if you steal a few for yourself…maybe…
FOR THE ZEN AF MOM YOU CAN ALWAYS VENT TO
This mom is amazing because she has the patience to listen to us talk shit about irrelevant shit for hours and somehow make us feel 10 times better in the end. Philosophy is a fave brand of ours, not just because of their amazing products, but also because of their values. It’s the wellness brand version of the mom who always sends you inspirational articles and makes sure you never leave the house without food in your stomach. To reward this woman for putting up with your crazy ass, give her the Moments of Grace box—the perfect set of shower, fragrance, and moisturizing products.
FOR THE MOM WHO KNOWS HOW TO MAKE A HOUSE A HOME (AND WON’T LET YOU EAT ON THE COUCH)
This mom might have come off as a little strict and slightly neurotic due to her strict house rules you lived under as a young betch, but you now understand it was all worth it for the image of a perfect home. She’s classy, she’s elegant, and she’s not afraid to tell you to fuck off when you deserve it. Giving her a Venus Et Fleur box is not just giving her cliché flowers for Mother’s Day, it’s giving her a centerpiece for her precious home. These are the most beautiful flowers and they last for an entire year. There are several colors to choose from so you can def find one to match the living room couch. PS, they’re having a pop-up shop at Saks specifically for Mother’s Day, so go with your siblings and get her the most Instagrammable flowers ever.
FOR THE MOM WHO WANTS TO BE INA GARTEN’S BEST FRIEND
This mom spends half her life watching the Food Network and the other half begging her husband to agree to redoing the kitchen. As such, she takes great pride in all her kitchen essentials, and each time you come home there’s a new blender or toaster. Although you have barely any space for a wooden spoon in your apartment’s kitchen and deem it acceptable to microwave water for your tea, this mom would rather be caught dead than without at least 25 different spatula options. Cuisinart is the perfect place to find the best and newest kitchen products that this mom will die over, like the QuicKettle and the PrepExpress. If you get her any of their products, I foresee massive amounts of free food in your future.
FOR THE MOM WHO’S NOT AFRAID TO BLACK OUT AT FAMILY DINNERS
This mom is always invited to hang with you and your friends whenever she’s in town. As a betch who can single-handedly create a party out of thin air, her Mother’s Day gift needs to suit her hostess needs. Kim Crawford Wine is the perfect bottle to whip out on any given occasion, and with summer around the corner, it is officially rosé season. Their website has tons of amazing recipes, including frosé, so…this mom will def exploit a bottle of Kim Crawford rosé for all it’s worth. If she also happens to be an Insta whore, we’re sorry in advance.
FOR THE MOM WHO GIFTED YOU YOUR WITTY SENSE OF HUMOR
This mom has passed on her good genes of having no filter and always has the entire family in tears at Thanksgiving dinner (like, the good kind). We were always afraid of what kind of backhanded bitchy comment she might make at our frenemies when we were younger, but we loved her anyway and secretly enjoyed it. If she’s begging you not to get her anything this year, at least get her the perfect card from Shop Betches.
FOR THE MOM WHO’S PUTTING OFF BOTOX FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE
This mom has had perfect skin her entire life and is now in overdrive doing everything she can to keep it that way. Washing her face isn’t just something she does a couple times a day, it’s now an insane obsession. To make sure this mom is getting the most out of her incessant face cleansing, get her the Soniclear brush from Michael Todd Beauty. The antimicrobial brush stays cleaner and fresher for longer, and cleans deep into your pores. Let’s be real, you’re probs going to get one for yourself as well. Also, since she’s probs big into blending, you should get her the Sonicblend brush to apply her makeup flawlessly.
FOR THE MOM WHO WON’T LET YOU ANYWHERE NEAR HER KITCHEN
This mom has a panic attack whenever there’s too many people in the kitchen (which for the most part means if there’s anyone in there besides her). She’s a firm believer in “a place for everything and everything in its place”, which as a betch you can only relate to on the level of your apartment’s bar cart. Joseph Joseph has the perfect modern organizational kitchen shit that will perfectly encourage this mom’s obsessive compulsive habits, but at least the kitchen will look sleek AF so who cares. We love their Nesting Bowl Sets and their super chic Worktop Savers.
FOR THE MOM WHO ALWAYS FALLS ASLEEP WITH HER IPAD ON HER FACE
This mom can’t get enough of her Facebook feed and loves to send you videos of dogs at all hours of the night. She probably thinks she’s squinting at all her screens because she’s old, but really it’s because no one’s eyes should not be staring at this shit all day. Felix Gray glasses are v trendy-looking and protect your eyes from the blue light emitted from all our electronics’ screens, so mom won’t have to fight through the headaches to continue scrolling through Insta anymore. Our office’s fan favorites are the Turing and Nash frames.
FOR THE MOM WHO JUICED BEFORE IT WAS COOL
This mom has been a juice drinking yoga freak since before you were born, and she’s always looking for new ways to show the world that she’s healthier and has more of her shit together than anyone else. Daily Harvest delivers fresh soups, smoothies, chia parfaits and overnight oats to your door on your schedule. This way, mom can get her fav smoothies delivered at 3pm just in time for her to consume before her 5pm spin class. If you didn’t think eating healthy could be convenient, neither did we, but here we are.
FOR THE MOM WHO HAS EVERYTHING YOU NEVER KNEW YOU NEEDED
This mom may seem like a hoarder, but in reality she’s just a collector of random shit that will impress people. Totally different. Also, we are not ones to talk about hoarding as evidenced by our closets. Anyway, Tovolo is the perfect place to shop for this mom because while it’s super fun for us to look through all the fun kitchen gadgets they have, it will be that much more fun for her because she’ll know exactly what to do with whatever you get her. “OMG, skull ice molds?! This will be perfect for Debbie’s divorce party!” We love their Clear Ice System and Stainless Steel Cocktail Shaker.
FOR THE MOM WHO ALWAYS LOSES SHIT
As a young mom, this one relied on her children to remind her of her dentist appointments or whenever she accidentally left the stove on. Though she’s the most scatter-brained person you know, she’s so lovable you’ve never (really) faulted her for it. Plus, her lack of having her shit together taught you how to be a proactive, multitasking betch. To make this mom’s life a little easier as her brain is only getting worse with age (sorry but it’s true), get her Tile for Mother’s Day so you never have to get another phone call about her missing keys again. All she has to do is attach the little Tile to whatever it is she loses every day and connect it to her phone through Bluetooth and voilà, when she needs to find either thing she can make ‘em ring (I did not do that on purpose but I apologize).
FOR THE MOM WHO REALLY WANTS TO LOSE 3 POUNDS BUT HATES THE GYM
This mom might sound very familiar because she is all of us. She would much rather spend an hour at book club talking shit than hitting the gym, but the thought of showing up to Southampton for the summer in her current state is freaking her out. Do her a favor and buy her HUM Nutrition’s Skinny Bird, a natural weight loss supplement. If you’re feeling really generous, they also have a “Turn Back Time” supplement that helps with skin cell protection. Time to pop some pills!
FOR THE BRAND NEW MOM
This mom has been MIA because she is now with child and a real human and also struggling to get more than 4 hours of sleep at night. Brighten up her day by getting her little Betch In Training a baby onesie from Shop Betches.
FOR THE MOM WHO IS ALWAYS ON THE GO
This mom has always been your business betch inspiration, as you’ve admired her for balancing her work and home life so well. Despite being super important at her company, she somehow found the time to proofread all your high school papers and prepped you for every job interview you’ve ever had. Soap & Glory is the perfect cheeky and empowering cosmetic brand that this mom absolutely NEEDS in her life. Since she’s always running from mandatory family breakfast to business meeting, get her some of our favorites like their Rushower Dry Shampoo and their Hand Food hydrating hand cream.
FOR THE MOM WHO ALWAYS KEEPS IT SIMPLE
This mom is a woman of few words, but always knows what to say. You can find her in the yoga studio in the morning and hosting a charity dinner party by night. She’s the one who taught you that doing things for others is like, important. Not one for flashy things but a lover of the arts, this mom would love a piece from Adam Marc Jewelry. Our favorite pieces are the Kim Star Choker and the Rafaeli 14k Gold Bar Necklace. Use code BETCHES20 for 20% off—your mom will never have to know you didn’t pay full price.