The odds of being a famous superstar are like, one in a million. Trust me, my own parents would kindly remind me of this every day back in grade school when I would try to sing Hilary Duff singles for them in the car. But that being said, it’s crazy to imagine that any given family could be so blessed as to have TWO superstars among them. Like, I just need one succcessful person in my family to hook it up here and there when I want to go to a cool party or something, I don’t need to be a Cyrus or anything. Anyway, here’s a list of celebrities that are related, but that you probably didn’t know are related. Some of these pairings you may have had no clue about, while others you may just have never taken a minute to stop and make the connection. Either way, now you have a few fun facts to bring up to your coworkers and completely derail your next meeting with, so you’re welcome!
Lily Allen & Alfie Allen
I’m not the biggest music connoisseur. I only know Lily Allen from her famous single, “Smile” which was a classic high school jam. In a seemingly random pairing, she is apparently siblings with Aflie Allen, who you may better know as Theon Greyjoy from Game of Thrones. But wait! The plot thickens! And no, not because I’m about to tell you their father is actually Tim Allen, that’d be great. But no, it thickens because Lily Allen actually has a song called “Alfie”. Uh, are you guys confused? Because I am. I don’t know about you, and I’m not a famous singer-songerwriter, but personally, I wouldn’t write a song about my brother. It just seems kind of weird. But I guess I’m not here to judge, I’m just here to let you know about the fact that they are siblings.
Snoop Dogg & Brandy…& Ray J?
Uhm, yeah, like that’s a lot to digest. Not necessarily because I didn’t know Snoop Dogg and Brandy are cousins, but because I just found out that Brandy and Ray J are siblings. Fine, I recognize I’m probably behind the times with this one. Honestly, what’s probably even more shocking than that is the fact that I’m even mentioning the name Ray J in 2019. And now I just can’t help but wonder, what does Snoop think of Ray J and Kim’s sex tape??? Has he seen it? I mean, I feel like he’s had to have gotten high at some point and gotten curious. What does he think of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s marriage? I need someone to conduct a very intensive interview with Snoop Dogg about all things Kardashian related.
Al Roker & Lenny Kravitz
Okay, this one is silly. Yes, you read that correctly. Al Roker of, “that’s what’s happening around the country, here’s what’s happening in your neck of the woods” is related to rock ‘n’ roll legend Lenny Kravitz. Okay, so they’re not like directly related per se. It’s like, you have your cousins, then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins…and then you have that situation when your grandfathers are cousins, which is the deal with these two. I’m not a family tree expert and I don’t know what that actually makes them. Any genealogists, feel free to chime in and educate me in the comments! Still, I think that my life has been enhanced by knowing Al Roker and Lenny Kravitz are distantly related, and not just because I can bring it up as a fun fact at parties. But, okay, I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t a big part of it.
Jenny McCarthy & Melissa McCarthy
I feel like this one should be obvious but like, it’s not. Or maybe I’m just the idiot who never made this connection. But, regardless, Jenny and Melissa McCarthy are cousins. I wonder if Jenny McCarthy is jealous that her cousin is so much funnier than her??? Or if Melissa is embarrassed that her cousin is an anti-vaxxer? I feel like we all have that one crazy anti-vaxxer cousin, but at least mine isn’t famous and does not have the power to actually influence people. I bet McCarthy family reunions are fun.
Jonah Hill & Beanie Feldstein
This celeb relationship has recently come to light due to Beanie Feldstein’s star rising in Hollywood. They’re siblings, which is fitting because they’re both hysterical. And also it makes sense if you just looked at a picture of the two of them together, they literally look the same. For the uninformed, Beanie Feldstein was one of the stars of Booksmart, and she’s also Jonah’s younger sister. I would seriously buy tickets to the Feldstein/Hill family dinners, I don’t know about you guys.
I truly apologize if you read this list and thought, “wtf I already knew that.” But like, relax—and also, kudos to you on your wealth of obscure celebrity knowledge. In my defense, when I did research on this article one of the Google results for “celebs you didn’t know were related” was Beyoncé and Solange… so the bar was pretty low.
Images: GIPHY (5)
As I sit in my flannel, jeans, and black ankle boots, I can happily confirm that the fall season is upon us. True, it’s still mid-70s and I’m only dressed this way because there was a tick advisory for my workplace today (working in TV is all glamour, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise). But I’m sure we can all agree that it feels like fall. In other words, it’s time to curl up in front of your TV and forget the words “crop top” for another nine months. While you probably spent all summer bingeing Office reruns (same), fall is the time for new, highly anticipated TV. In order of when they come out, here are the new and returning TV shows that will dominate your life for the next few months. Please set your DVR accordingly.
‘You’ – September 9, Lifetime
I should qualify at the start of this list that not every show will be what’s traditionally considered “good.” For example, most of the dialogue in this particular show makes me want to throw myself through a window. But like, in the BEST way. This show is about Penn Badgley playing a stalker freak who becomes obsessed with a slightly vapid blond and immediately starts doing psycho sh*t like
writing about her on an anonymous website breaking into her apartment and messing with her life. So basically, a dark yet accurate glimpse into Dan’s future. (Extremely self-aware of Penn Badgley to take this role.) This is my new favorite guilty pleasure show, and if you’re a fan of Lifetime at all, I can’t recommend it enough.
The first of many red flags he displays in this show:
‘Maniac’ – September 21, Netflix
Okay so polar opposite of the last show, but also about mental health. Can’t imagine why that’s trendy right now when we have such a stable genius in the White House! Anyway. This whole season dropped on 9/21, and it stars Jonah Hill and Emma Stone. Even in this ~Golden Age~ of television, that’s a pretty high-end cast. I won’t tell you much about the plot beyond the fact that they both have a sh*t-ton of baggage and sign up for a pharmaceutical trial. The plot is less important than the vibe, which so far is like every episode of Black Mirror smushed into one world. This show is good for an all-day binge when you’re up for actually thinking about what you’re watching. Invite over your artiest friend so they force you to pay attention through the first 3 episodes, it’s kind of slow to start up.
‘Dancing With The Stars’ – September 24, ABC
Have I ever watched this show before? No, and I probably won’t again. But who could resist seeing Grocery Store Joe flit across the stage! I give you permission to stop watching as soon as he’s cut.
‘This Is Us’ – September 25, NBC
You all know what this one is for. This is the show you come to when you need a really good cry, or when you want to ignore all your problems and pretend Mandy Moore is your mom for a while. Also, to get your weekly Sterling K. Brown fix, which is right up there in terms of importance with drinking water and getting enough sleep. It’s just a fact of life. This season, we’re going back to Jack and Rebecca’s first date—and Randall’s daughter, Tess, all grown up. Few things are as pure as my love for this show.
Anyone else need to watch this on repeat to cleanse from this week’s news cycle?
‘Modern Family’ – September 26, ABC
Did we all kind of get over Modern Family five years ago when it won every award? Yeah, maybe. But this is likely the final season, and they’ve been teasing a “significant death,” so I’m planning on riding out the show until the end. It’s the least you can do for something that gave you a few good years, like when you loyally wear your favorite black leggings until they’re completely sheer in the crotch. Watch out of loyalty, watch because Phil is still funny AF, or watch because you’re hungover and it comes on next on Hulu. Up to you.
‘The Good Place’ – September 27, NBC
Very few shows like The Good Place have come around in the past few years, and I’m deeply grateful when they do. It’s from the creator of Parks & Rec, and has the same soothing effect of all your fave 25-minute comedies. Kristen Bell has spent the first two seasons figuring out that she’s in (SPOILERS) Hell, aka the Bad Place. Season 3 opens up with her and her 3 companions having been redeposited on Earth to give things another try. Will they f*ck it up in a largely similar way to the first time? Probably, their memories were erased so IDK why they wouldn’t. But it’ll be fun to watch them try to fight their baser instincts for a while.
‘How To Get Away With Murder’ – September 27, ABC
This is another show that’s sadly nowhere near as good as it used to be. But at its best it was so iconic that I still can’t look away. No matter how ridiculous the rest of it gets, Annalise is still the epitome of boss b*tch goals, and Laurel still has an annoyingly good lingerie collection for someone with such a terrible personality.
‘Riverdale’ – October 10, CW
Of course the show I’m most excited for doesn’t come back until October 10th. OF COURSE. Season 3 of Riverdale is about to be f*cking lit. We’re dealing with the aftermath of Archie’s arrest, an all-out war with Hiram, more screen time for Cheryl and Toni, and some weird cult stuff with Betty’s sister. The promo shows Archie shirtless, more milkshakes at Pop’s, and what appears to be a ritual sacrifice of two babies. Exactly what you’d expect and get more than you dared hope, in classic Riverdale fashion. And obviously we’ll be recapping it.
Me all season:
The best part of these fall shows? Since they’re all newly released, you’re basically engaging in a cultural activity with every binge. Some people go to museums; you binge artful new storytelling techniques. Or at least that’s what you’ll tell yourself as you order Seamless the sixth time that week. Happy watching!
Images: The CW; Giphy (4)