We found out last night that Robby didn’t win JoJo’s heart on this season of The Bachelorette, and while some may be disappointed by that fact, let’s not forget what a testament to modern science it is that a robot such as himself was able to even make it as far as he did.
In fact, after months of a grueling competition fighting against real human men to win the affection of JoJo, he looked as refreshed as ever on the After the Final Rose ceremony, no doubt due to the fresh battery pack he got installed just moments before entering the stage. With his metal skin aglow, Robby amazed viewers around the country who refused to believe that artificial intelligence could ever take on such a blatantly metrosexual air. And if you could overlook the hair glued so tightly to his scalp that it could resist winds at 100 MPH, or his teeth painted so artificially white that the front row audience members were given sunglasses, you could see just how lifelike a machine can look in this day and age.
I don’t want to presume that a better upkeep of Robby throughout the season could have won him JoJo’s hand in marriage, but who knows how her feelings towards him may have changed had he not nearly electrocuted himself in the pool due to faulty wiring, or been able to finish any of his conversations without short-circuiting. What we can say is that Robby exceeded everyone’s expectations by landing a spot as the runner-up, and with a few more years of tweaking, Robby 2.0 has a fantastic shot at becoming the next Bachelor or at least a prototype for Life-Size Ken.