She can sing, dance, act, and make going on 50 look like going on 30. Is there anything Jennifer Lopez, aka Jenny from the Block, aka J.Lo, can’t do?! Honestly, probably not. Just like I haven’t stopped gawking at her ginormous rock of an engagement ring, I also haven’t stopped zooming in on her selfies to look for any signs of aging either. She somehow doesn’t have a single wrinkle. and also maintains the most toned, insanely fit bod I’ve ever seen. I’ve been begging for years: TELL US YOUR SECRETS, WOMAN. Since her engagement with A-Rod broke the internet, I’ve been reminded of her technically good physique and ageless beauty. For all of us who are wondering how in the world she does it, I’ve dug up every detail behind J.Lo’s diet and workout. Spoiler: There is no Fountain of Youth involved, as I had begun to suspect. It’s all diet and a lot of intense exercise (lame, I know).
For starters, J.Lo’s diet is entirely free of caffeine and alcohol. She is so dedicated that she resorts to drinking decaffeinated coffee. Yes, I want a six-pack, but I also don’t think I’d make it an hour without having caffeine and alcohol withdrawals. She is like, very obsessed with water (think Kourtney Kardashian level), and keeps a diet that’s full of protein and veggies. For lunch, she’ll have something like salmon and broccoli, or some sort of zucchini salad. For dinner, she’ll do something equally as healthy, but maybe with pork, chicken, or quinoa instead. I’m already craving carbs and sugar, but let’s continue.
After having a full eight hours of sleep—I’m lucky if I get a solid five, but okay—J.Lo will start her day off with a workout at home, or with trainers like Tracy Anderson in Los Angeles, or David Kirsch when she’s in New York. She apparently does this three to four days a week, and I like, can’t even go two days without having a pound of pasta. Major. Props. While she enjoys a range of intense solo routines, she also likes to include her new fiancé. They’ll participate in weight lifting, bike riding, and Pilates classes. So, all the things you plan to do with your friends, but you usually choose bottomless brunch instead.
It’s no secret that in addition to her toned core, J.Lo has some very sexy curves that she embraces, and her butt is legendary. David Kirsch says the best workout to enhance it is the Platypus Walk: a low squat technique that works your inner thighs and tones your butt at the same time. To strengthen her core, she loves using a stability ball, doing side planks, and lots of Spider-man pushups. Kirsch even shared her full-body express workout with People, and my god, my body is sore from just reading it.
Here’s a quick preview of what it entails:
Wide Stance Squat: Stand in a squat stance with your legs a little wider than shoulder-width apart (duh). Holding a medicine ball, bend into a squad while bringing the medicine ball straight out in front of you, then over your head.
Reverse Lunges: Instead of stepping forward into a lunge, step backward into the lunge. When you stand back up, bring your knee up and then back down before returning to the starting position.
Plank on a Medicine Ball: Rather than doing a plank with your elbows on the floor like a mere peasant, place a medicine ball on the floor, put your hands on the medicine ball, and hold the plank for 30 seconds.
Lateral Lunge: Start with your feet shoulder width apart, then walk your foot out to one side, squatting down into a 90 degree angle on that side.
Dumbbell Row to Tricep Extension: From PEOPLE, “Using dumbbells, start off in a plank pose and bring your left elbow (the hand holding the weight) up toward the ceiling and extend toward the back.”
Shoulder Taps: Get into a plank position. Tap your left shoulder with your right hand, put your hand back down, and alternate sides. J.Lo does this for five minutes. I could probably do about 30 seconds.
Side Planks: Lay on one side with your forearm on the ground in front of you. Lift up and hold, keeping your opposite arm up.
Overhead Slams with Medicine Ball: Lift a medicine ball straight over your head, keeping your legs apart. Then, slam the medicine ball down on the ground. It’s harder than you think.
Torso Rotation with Resistance Band: Holding onto a resistance band, bend your legs, lock your knees, keep your arms straight out, and rotate. No, I don’t have a clearer picture of what this looks like—sorry.
Squat with Row and Bicep Curls with Resistance Band: Stand with your feet stepping on a resistance band, holding the other end in your hands. Squat down into a squat, and as you come up do a bicep curl.
Tricep Extensions with Resistance Band: If your gym doesn’t have resistance bands, I don’t know what to tell you. You’ll need to stand with your back towards them, hold the resistance bands, then bring them straight over your head.
Medicine Ball Sit-ups: It’s a regular sit-up, but you’re holding a medicine ball.
Weighted Jackknives: Lie down while holding a medicine ball. Then, crunch up, bringing your arms and legs together.
Russian Twists: Sit in a V-shape with your knees bent and feet slightly off the ground (if you can manage it). Hold the medicine ball in front of your chest. Twist your body and tap the ball to the floor on one side, then twist to the other side and repeat.
Push-ups with Glider: Get in a push-up position with a glider under one hand. As you do the push-up, bring that hand out to the side. Repeat with the other hand.
Pike-up Planks: Don’t put away those gliders. Get in a plank position with your feet on the gliders. Holding the plank position, slide your feet in towards your chest, then bring them back out.
From reverse lunges to Russian twists, you should do 20 reps of each move unless otherwise directed and hold planks for one minute.
It turns out that even as a rich and multitalented celebrity, obtaining ripped abs requires a f*ck ton of hard work, commitment, and dedication. Three things I can’t seem to keep up when I’m in a gym. I will say that reading about J.Lo’s diet and workout routine personally inspired me to put down the chips I’m snacking on, but it didn’t stop me from scrolling through Postmates. Sorry, not sorry.
Images: @jlo (2), @arod, @davidkirsch / Instagram; Giphy
UPDATE: In a move that honestly surprised me, Jennifer Lopez decided to address the cheating rumors publicly this week. On Wednesday, J.Lo went on The Breakfast Club, where she responded Jose Canseco, and everyone else saying A-Rod cheated on her: “”I mean, it doesn’t matter, I know what the truth is. I know who is. He knows who I am. We’re just happy.” While she didn’t outright say that there was no cheating, she made it clear that her relationship isn’t affected by the rumors.
After addressing the infidelity rumors, she went on to say some pretty great things about her relationship with Alex: “I’ve never been with somebody who lets me be the ‘full shine J.Lo’ and all the sides of me, that makes me really happy…he’s like, ‘Just go baby, just go.'” Honestly, considering all the high-profile relationships J.Lo has been a part of, it’s so nice to hear that she feels better than ever. She looks incredible, and she’s clearly doing great on the inside, too.
Going back to the cheating rumors, Jose Canseco’s accusations aren’t looking to0 credible. His ex-wife Jessica, who supposedly slept with A-Rod, vehemently denied the rumors, and said that she is friendly with both Alex and Jennifer. I’m currently breathing some deep sighs of relief, because I need this couple to be okay.
March 11: In my mind, Alex Rodriguez and Jennifer Lopez have seemed like the perfect couple ever since they got together. They’re both sexy, they’re around the same age, and they both have adorable kids from previous marriages. I was excited to see them finally get engaged this weekend, because it really just feels like they were meant to find each other. Also, that ring is f*cking stunning, obviously. But, because we really just can’t have nice things, there might already be trouble in paradise. There are new rumors that A-Rod has cheated on J.Lo, but what do we really know?
The source of these rumors is Jose Canseco, who was also a majorly successful baseball player. If you’re not a big sports fan, Jose Canseco stopped playing baseball in 2001, and is pretty infamous for being involved with steroids. He admitted to using the drugs in 2005, and claimed that 85% of pro baseball players were using them. This was obviously controversial, and his reputation isn’t the best because of it. Okay, now I’m done done pretending to care about baseball, so let’s talk about the rumors.
Canseco is saying that A-Rod cheated on J.Lo with his ex-wife, Jessica Canseco. I hate this already. I’m not really sure why Jose is getting involved, other than being thirsty for attention, but he took to Twitter on Sunday night with lots of thoughts.
Watching World of Dance watching J.Lo text Alex Rodriguez little does she know that he is cheating on her with my ex-wife Jessica poor girl she has no idea who he really is
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 11, 2019
Jose started off with “Watching World of Dance watching J.Lo text Alex Rodriguez little does she know that he is cheating on her with my ex-wife Jessica poor girl she has no idea who he really is.” This tweet is a wild ride, and not just because of the total lack of punctuation. Honestly, I don’t doubt that this could be true, because if Jay-Z cheated on Beyoncé and Future cheated on Ciara, anything is possible, but can we not refer to Jennifer Lopez as “poor girl”? She’s almost 50 years old, cut it out with that infantilizing bullsh*t. But yeah, Jose also said he was with his ex when A-Rod called her, and he also literally tweeted “Alex Rodriguez stop being a piece of shit stop cheating on Jennifer Lopez.” Lol, this dude is gonna get destroyed in his DMs.
Alex Rodriguez I challenge you to a boxing match or an MMA match anytime you want
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 11, 2019
Never have my eyes rolled harder than reading this tweet: “Alex Rodriguez I challenge you to a boxing match or an MMA match anytime you want.” K. Definitely not thirsting for fame, bud. Literally nobody cares to see this fictional match. Hey @ straight men, can you please not?
Jose must have sensed some skepticism after hurling these accusations out with absolutely no evidence, so he then upped the ante by offering to take a lie detector test. “I am willing to take a polygraph to prove that what I’m saying about Alex Rodriguez is 100% accurate.” Oh Jose, haven’t you ever seen an episode of SVU? Polygraphs are not admissible in court of law, my dude! It’s a nice gesture, but that is not going to convince anyone of 100% accuracy.
I am willing to take a polygraph to prove that what I'm saying about Alex Rodriguez is 100% accurate
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 11, 2019
Okay, so all of these steroid rage-induced tweets have left me with a lot of questions, and more than a little bit of doubt. But as our luck would have it, our favorite celebrity gossip source has officially weighed in on the rumors. This morning, Crazy Days and Nights posted a new blind gossip item that can really only be about one thing:
“I have been telling you for forever that this former A+ list athlete has been cheating on his A list everything in her mind significant other with a variety of people,” Enty writes. “Last night, one of those many people was brought into the light. Probably not good timing with that life event announcement.” This is about as close to confirmation as we’ll get for the time being.
God bless Enty, forever lighting up our lives. Obviously, all of this is still alleged and we don’t have a lot of evidence to go on, but these blind items usually turn out to be true. Only time will tell, but now I unfortunately have some mixed feelings about this engagement.
What are your thoughts on A-Rod and J.Lo’s engagement, and the ensuing cheating rumors? Can Jose Canseco be trusted? All of this is taking years off my life right now, and it’s still Monday morning. Gonna be a great week!
Images: Shutterstock; @JoseCanseco / Instagram (3); Crazy Days and Nights
