If you’re the kind of person who follows a lot of pop culture accounts on Instagram, you already know it was a busy weekend. Kourtney Kardashian is reportedly officially dating Travis Barker, Erika Jayne is apparently Armie Hammer’s neighbor, and the Gen-Z Disney Channel stars are still feuding. But all of that is just some light messiness compared to the pure chaos of whatever the f*ck is going on with Jay Cutler, Kristin Cavallari, and Southern Charm star Madison LeCroy. I realize that sounds like a 2021 pop culture Mad Lib, but this crossover is actually happening, and it’s kind of messy.
Before we really dive in, let’s set the scene and get our bearings. As you probably know, former Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari and former NFL quarterback Jay Cutler were married for several years before announcing their separation last spring. For the last few months, they both seemed to be living their best single lives, with rumored flings and new relationships. But then, Kristin and Jay flipped their entire relationship situation on its head on Friday night, when they posted identical photos together, which a cryptic caption that suggested they may be back together.
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With almost no context to go on, these posts obviously stirred up a million rumors, but unfortunately it looks like Kristin and Jay will be remaining tight-lipped about what’s really going on with them. So that’s where the drama ends, right? LOL, if it were, we would not be here. This is where Jesus takes the wheel and makes a complete left turn, because it’s where the Southern Charm cast comes into the picture. On the show this season, one of the main storylines has been Austen Kroll and Madison LeCroy’s struggle to fully pull the plug on their toxic relationship. They hate each other, but they love each other, and we all know how that goes.
Since Southern Charm finished filming over the summer, it seems like Austen and Madison’s breakup has become more final, but the toxic behavior between them has carried over onto social media. And somehow, aside from shady comments and #spon for Budweiser (a slight to Austen’s beer company), Kristin and Jay have become the main weapons in their Instagram war.
In December, Austen and his castmate Craig Conover went to Nashville to hang out with Kristin and her hairstylist BFF Justin Anderson (one of the thirstiest people alive), and the entire weekend was documented on Instagram. This included an instantly classic Instagram Live, where the obviously intoxicated crew danced to Taylor Swift’s “Mean” while Kristin was on Craig’s shoulders. On a subsequent appearance on Watch What Happens Live, Austen revealed that the friendship with Kristin started when she slid into Craig’s DMs, and they all got dinner together while she was visiting Charleston. He also clarified that while they enjoy each other’s company, nothing romantic was going on. But while things stayed platonic between Kristin and the Southern Charm boys, that was apparently not the case with their respective exes, Jay and Madison.
According to a People source, Jay “reached out to Madison” in early December, and “she flew out to see him after filming the Southern Charm reunion.” Yes, this is right around the time that Kristin was hanging out with Austen, adding another layer to this cake of confusion. Considering that Jay and Kristin are objectively more famous than Austen and Madison, this whole love-rectangle situation feels like some complex revenge equation, but it’s not clear exactly who was trying to get revenge on whom. Either way, it’s a damn mess. Though Madison was never splashing her time with Jay all over Instagram, she made comments suggesting they knew each other, and when asked about Jay in her own WWHL appearance, she coyly replied that she wasn’t “kissing and telling.”
So while there was some chatter about Madison’s possible relationship with Jay, it wasn’t until last week that she really threw her hat into the ring of messiness. In an Instagram Live on Thursday night, she and Southern Charm castmate Venita Aspen recreated Kristin and Austen’s infamous Taylor Swift IG Live, and in the same video she spoke vaguely about Austen, Kristin, and Jay. Kristin and Jay made their matching posts the next day, raising speculation that the posts were targeted at Madison. On Jay’s version of the post with Kristin this weekend, Madison commented, “I told you it would all workout ,” and later added that she couldn’t wait to “clear this up.”
After a day of eagerly awaiting further developments, Madison finally fired up her Instagram stories on Sunday afternoon, and she decided to drop some receipts regarding her relationship with Jay. There are two screenshots of their text conversation, one of which appears to show him trying to make arrangements to come visit her. In the other screenshot, Jay chastises Madison for bringing his name into the situation. There are no dates on the screenshots, but it seems likely that the second set of texts came after Madison spoke about Jay on Thursday’s IG Live. Madison pushes back, saying she respects him and his family, and says “if you weren’t interested in something real you shouldn’t have slept with me.” And I OOP. She followed that up with a selfie of her and Jay in hunting gear, so at the very least, we know they’ve spent some time together.
Kristin and Jay haven’t said anything about Madison’s involvement, but Kristin’s BFF Justin (the thirsty one) has had no problem speaking out. In a TikTok comment, he accused Madison of “making stuff up for attention,” and said that she’s “created all of this nonsense.” Justin posted many more similar comments, also confirming that nothing happened between Austen and Kristin, and again accusing Madison of wanting “fake TV drama.” Later on Sunday, Justin posted some more Instagram stories, where he said that posting private text messages is “f*cking low,” and that he’s only involved in this situation because he wants to stick up for his friend.
Honestly, I kind of love the fact that Kristin and Jay dropped a bomb with their photo together, then immediately disengaged from the situation. They knew they would get their headlines and reposts, and now the real thirsty people (Justin and Madison) are left to duke it out in the social media trenches. Austen, for his part, was posting about his golf outing over the weekend, seemingly ignoring the drama completely.
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It’s unclear what’s really going on with Kristin and Jay—I have my doubts that they’re really back together. But it’s even more unclear what Madison is trying to do here. Prove to the world that Jay Cutler knows she exists? Okay, sure, mission accomplished. Maybe the texts suggest that he was the one pursuing her, and maybe he was an asshole, but nothing here is rock-solid proof. And even if they did have some kind of relationship going, did she think this technically-still-married father of three was her soulmate? If so, then maybe there is hope for my crush on Timothée Chalamet. She’s already pivoted to posting vague, shady captions on Instagram, so she’s definitely going to be milking this for a while.
And as for Justin, I understand the urge to jump in when people are talking about your friend, but I’m not sure what Madison is doing even really affects her? If anyone is unbothered by this whole situation, it’s probably Kristin. At the end of the day, everyone in this story is going to go their separate ways, and the thirsty will stay thirsty.
Images: Timothy Hiatt/Getty Images; kristincavallari, madison.lecroy / Instagram
Remember way back in April, when days of quarantine were still filled with random activities, and the biggest story in the news was Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler’s shocking divorce? Well, here we are five months later, still in quarantine, and still talking about Kristin Cavallari. What a f*cking year. Back in April, we didn’t get much information about the split, other than their initial Instagram posts, and some messy legal details that were seemingly resolved pretty quickly. This was all just weeks after the fam returned from their never-ending trip to the Bahamas, so the whole timeline was very confusing. But his week, Kristin spoke to People, and while she was mostly there to promote her new cookbook (random, but sure), thankfully she also spilled some much-needed info on WTF happened between her and Jay.
Unsurprisingly, she says that the split “didn’t happen overnight,” despite whatever happy façade fans saw. She continued, saying “We tried really, really hard for years and years,” and that the split “was the hardest decision I’ve ever made.” I think most of us assumed their divorce wasn’t just a split-second decision, because that’s not how divorces tend to work, but Kristin and Jay were definitely a couple that managed to keep most of their drama private, despite the fact that they did a reality show together for three seasons.
Speaking about the public perception of her marriage, Kristin told People, “I always thought it was interesting when people would refer to us as ‘couple goals.’ I was like, if you guys only knew.” Maybe I’m in the minority here, but from watching Very Cavallari, it never actually seemed like things were that perfect in Kristin and Jay’s relationship. They weren’t having huge fights or anything, but Jay never seemed that thrilled to be there, and Kristin was almost constantly annoyed with him. Kristin admitted that things were not going well during filming for the show’s third and final season, but that “we definitely kept a lot of stuff private. Producers saw stuff, but they didn’t put it in the show—which is good, because I don’t want my kids to ever .”
When asked about the actual reasons that led to the breakdown of her marriage, Kristin kept things pretty vague. And by that, I mean that she definitely did NOT reference the cheating rumors that have persisted about Jay Cutler since before the split was even announced. Instead, she painted a broad picture, saying, “Every relationship has their stuff. I met Jay when I was 23. I was a baby. Jay and I had so much love for each other, but we grew up. When you work at something for so many years and nothing’s changing, I think you have to just make a decision. We all want to be happy.” Amen, sister… but what about the cheating rumors?
But rumors aside, it sounds like Kristin and Jay are in a pretty good place now. After those initial legal issues immediately following their split, they came to a co-parenting agreement, and Kristin was able to buy her new house in Nashville. She shared that “I still care so much about and talk to him almost every day. We have three kids together. He’s going to be in my life forever.”
She may be stuck with Jay, but she seems happy with her decision to leave reality TV in the past—for now, at least. When she began Very Cavallari three years ago, the focus was mainly on her business, but the spotlight shifted to her personal life in more recent seasons. She says that she’s “relieved” the show isn’t coming back, because “I just knew I was going to have to talk about everything, and I didn’t want to. Thinking about filming was giving me anxiety.” Kristin maintains that her current focus is on what’s best for her three kids, and that’s “Probably not doing a reality show, having to talk about divorcing their dad.” Fair enough. Honestly, Very Cavallari was not that entertaining to begin with, so I’m happy to find something else to watch.
Along with the cheating rumors, I’m also a little disappointed that Kristin didn’t address that photo she posted with Stephen Colletti this summer. Like, I know in my heart that they’re not back together, but I still need to hear it directly from her. Kristin says that she’s “really excited about the future all around,” but who’s to say that future can’t include a fling with her old flame? For now, I will continue to hold out hope, because it’s really all I have left at this point.
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Images: Timothy Hiatt/Getty Images
UPDATE: As this week has gone on, there have been about a million anonymous sources popping up, claiming to have some insider info about Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler’s divorce. It’s hard to know which of these stories are true, but now we finally have a concrete look at some of the alleged “misconduct” that Kristin included in her filings. According to new documents obtained by Us Weekly, Kristin is accusing Jay of withholding money from her, and the situation sounds pretty rough.
According to the court papers, things weren’t good in their marriage for a while, and Kristin started looking for her own house way back in November 2019. She even had a house under contract at one point, until Jay “informed her that his attorney was going to stop her from purchasing the house she wanted” and that the attorney “was going to tell their business manager to not release the funds” for her to buy the house. Yikes.
For a normal couple, buying a second house would be a huge financial strain, but considering that Kristin and Jay have an estimated net worth of over $60 million, this feels a little petty. In addition, an Us Weekly source says that Kristin “always knew that Jay was trying to keep some of his money from her,” and the house situation was just the proof that she needed. If their marriage was already on the rocks, this kind of situation definitely wouldn’t have helped things.
Fast forward to April, after they got back from their extended Bahamas trip, and the money disagreements continued between the couple. As they decided to separate, the documents show that Jay offered Kristin an initial settlement amount. Kristin’s filing says that she “refused to accept the settlement,” finding it “unfavorable,” because she has made “significant financial contributions to the marital estate.” We don’t know any specifics about the amounts here, but obviously Kristin has her own money on top of whatever Jay made playing football. No one is broke here, and any settlement should reflect that.
Kristin also alleges that Jay filed divorce papers as quickly as possible “as a way of punishing her” for turning down the settlement offer. Of course, Kristin’s filing is only one side of the story, but if she’s telling the truth, there was definitely some financial manipulation happening here. I’m sure we’ll get more details and context in the weeks and months to come, but there was clearly more going on in this marriage than we ever knew about.
ORIGINAL ARTICLE: Let’s face it: most divorces are messy. While not every marriage ends with a dramatic scandal or betrayal, most people don’t wake up and decide to get divorced just because they’re bored. When Kristin Cavallari announced on Sunday that she and Jay Cutler were splitting after 1o years together, the tone was positive—a little too positive. She wrote that their relationship had reached a “loving conclusion”, and that she and Jay have “nothing but love and respect for one another.” That’s all well and good, but of course, we wanted to know what really happened here. If things were really so loving, would they be filing divorce papers?
Well, that “loving conclusion” didn’t last long. On Monday morning, less than a day after Kristin Cavallari’s divorce announcement, Kristin filed legal papers that suggest there’s a lot more to this story than her initial claim of “two people growing apart.” Color me shocked. Kristin’s filing, obtained by TMZ, is in response to Jay’s original divorce filing, and it’s clear that they are not on the same page when it comes to any of the details surrounding their split.
In her legal filing, Kristin Cavallari accuses Jay Cutler of misconduct, stating that he “is guilty of such inappropriate marital conduct as renders further cohabitation unsafe and improper.” There have been some cheating rumors surrounding Jay Cutler in the past, but “unsafe and improper”? That sounds serious. Her filing also claims that “any misconduct alleged or implied against in the complaint for divorce” was only a result of Jay’s original misconduct… but Jay didn’t make any misconduct allegations in the divorce filing. I’m not a lawyer, but something’s not adding up here, and I want answers.
Unfortunately, the consequences of divorce are often harshest on young children, and it looks like Cavallari and Cutler are gearing up for a custody battle. While Cutler is seeking joint custody of their three children, Cavallari wants primary custody, with Cutler only having visitation rights. Both Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler are claiming that they have been the “available at-home parent and primary caretaker” during their marriage, and since two people can’t be the primary caretaker, I have a feeling this is going to get messy.
While the new filings bring up a lot of questions, and not too many answers, we are getting a clearer picture of the timeline here. In Jay Cutler’s divorce filing, he listed a separation date of April 21st. That was just last week, but this is another spot where Kristin disagrees. In her filing, the separation date is listed as April 7th—the day after the family returned from their month-long Bahamas vacation-turned-quarantine. I really need to know what the hell went down on that trip, because it sounds like it was far from paradise.
Images: Dfree / Shutterstock.com
While we were all mixing our quarantinis, cleaning our apartments, or just generally lazing about this rainy Sunday, Kristin Cavallari took to Instagram to announce that she and Jay Cutler are getting a divorce. To be perfectly clear, I haven’t thought about Kristin Cavallari since approximately 2009, but I still didn’t see this one coming. I’ve honestly been waiting for more celebrities to announce divorces once the effects of being quarantined together started kicking in, but I still wouldn’t have predicted that Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler would be the first ones to bite the dust. They have been together for 10 years and have three children together, Camden, 7, Jaxon, 5, and Saylor, 4.
In an Instagram post that depicts the now-exes with their backs to the camera, Kristin wrote, “With great sadness, after 10 years together we have come to a loving conclusion to get a divorce.” She added, “This is just the situation of two people growing apart,” and if you ask me, the whole announcement smacks of “conscious uncoupling.” Still, it’s better than a Notes App screenshot.
News of Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler’s divorce comes just a few weeks after the couple returned to Nashville after being “stuck” in the Bahamas on vacation with Kristin’s friend and hairstylist, Justin Anderson. On March 15, the group traveled to the Bahamas (despite there being a confirmed case of coronavirus in the Bahamas that same day). In the days that followed, they would complain about being “stuck” on the island despite there being no travel restrictions at the time; later, on March 24, they would remain on the island even after the U.S. Embassy urged travelers to return home. After catching some flak online for remaining on vacation while almost everyone around the world was staying home in an effort to flatten the curve, they all returned home on April 6.
In light of recent events, this trip to the Bahamas is raising even more eyebrows. Was it a last-ditch attempt to save their marriage? Were they trying to escape more than the reality of coronavirus? Or was being stuck on an island together the straw that broke the camel’s back? God knows I’ve returned from a family vacation wanting a hell of a lot more than a legal separation. With Kristin asking “everyone to respect our privacy”, we’ll probably never know. But I’m predicting that this won’t be the first seemingly solid celebrity marriage to crumble under quarantine, and we’re going to be seeing a lot more of this verbiage the longer we’re stuck inside.
Images: Timothy Hiatt/Getty Images; kristincavallari / Instagram
Unless you’re a homeschooled jungle freak with no access to the Internet, you know that last week Beyonce announced the names of our new saviors her newborn twins as Sir & Rumi Carter respectively. Tbh I’m not that impressed. I know she’s a queen and a visionary and blah, blah, blah, but I just expected more from the woman who made an entire fucking album roasting THE HUSBAND SHE’S STILL MARRIED TO. I, mean, Rumi? What’s next, Yahtzee? Trouble? Wait, I’m actually on board with that last one. Trouble Carter. Iconic. Are there any take-backs with birth certificates? Because if so, Bey, have your people call my people 3-4 loyal readers and we can work on trademarking that shit. That said, I do love a good celebrity baby name. And what better way to celebrate the birth of the Beybies than by ranking other celebrity babies based on the names their parents gave them when they were 100 percent hopped up on Xanax? I’ll leave Sir and Rumi off the list… for now. Because I have to draw a line somewhere so I guess I’ll draw it at skewering newborns barely out of the womb. But get ready kids, because one day soon when it’s socially acceptable to make fun of infants, I’ll be coming for ya. As for the rest of you, good fucking luck. Now onto the betchiest baby names in Hollywood:
10. Dusty Rose (Behati Prinsloo & Adam Levine)
I shouldn’t have expected much from the child of a Victoria’s Secret model and a former-boy-band-star-turned-desperate-reality-TV-vocal-coach, but I one hundred percent did not expect that they’d name their firstborn child after Behati’s right nipple (I assume). And this is why I have trust issues right here. Behati, let’s blame this one on the language barrier, shall we? Perhaps you didn’t realize that “dusty” and “rose” are two descriptors usually used to describe shitty bridesmaid dresses or, as I demonstrated earlier, a woman’s nipple. Adam, you get no such fucking excuses. I have a feeling childhood won’t be fun for this one, you know, aside from the model good looks and millions of dollars she’ll inherit. I’m not bitter, you’re bitter. Last place for you, Areola Dusty Rose.
9. Boomer Phelps (Michael Phelps & Nicole Johnson)
I don’t know what’s worse, naming your child after the shade of your wife’s right nipple or naming your child after the family dog that died when you were 12. When I first heard that the son of the world’s greatest athlete was named Boomer I thought it was a literal joke. Like that one time someone started a rumor that Michael’s girlfriend had a penis. Btw that was v creative, Ryan Lochte, v creative. But apparently, the name Boomer is not a joke but rather a well-thought out decision made by two adults one adult and someone who’s clearly been poisoned by chlorine.
^ How I imagine Boomer’s going to feel when he gets to middle school and realizes that daddy did indeed name him after a household pet.
8. Kal-El Cage (Nicolas Cage & Alice Kim)
Wait. I know what’s worse now, naming your child after fucking Superman. Seriously, Nicolas Cage? Seriously? I saw every shitty spinoff of National Treasure and this is how you repay me? BYE. I’m giving little Kal-El here eighth place because I have a feeling he’s going to have a hard enough time in life dealing with all the Internet trolls (hi) and Nicolas Cage memes out there, so I’ll give him a pass here. That said:
7. Dream Kardashian (Blac Chyna & Rob Kardashian)
Rumor has it that Rob Kardashian came up with the idea for Dream’s name based off of—get this—a dream he’s always had of having a child. God damn, we have a visionary on our hands here people. Real talk though, how pissed do we think Kris is that she has to not only spin revenge porn but also the name “Dream” into some sort of dynamic branding plan?
6. North West (Kim Kardashian & Kanye West)
We get it, it’s a direction and a play on the last name West. You’re so fucking creative, Kim. But little Northie is barely mid-list for me. I can’t give my exact reasoning for the placement of North West’s name on this highly esteemed list, but I have a feeling it’s the same reasoning that went into my decision not to follow Kim on Instagram (even though I check her feed 5-7 times a day)—I just don’t want to give her the satisfaction, ya know?
5. Saylor James Cutler (Jay Cutler & Kristin Cavallari)
SaYlor Cutler (not Sailor because Kristin is still extra AF) is the daughter of Jay Cutler, a football player (?), and Kristin Cavallari, aka the star Laguna Beach and reason I rocked a short, chunky haircut from the age 18 through 20. It’s also the reason every photo from those years has been untagged on Facebook. Once again, Kristin must insist on taking normal words and names and butchering their pronunciation. Is this why we never saw her at actual school on Laguna Beach? I’m worried that perhaps she never went and now her daughter is paying the price. MTV, can we please confirm? Whatever. Saylor is one of the better, more creative names I’ve heard this year so I guess congrats, Kristin, like my haircut, I’ll keep this name on my Pinterest board for the next 2-5 years.
4. Wyatt Kutcher (Mila Kunis & Ashton Kutcher)
As someone whose mother also wanted to punish her by giving her a boy’s name to walk around life with, I’d just like to say to little Wyatt: good fucking luck with it. And spoiler: my real name is not actually It’s Britney, Betch—shocking, I know. My actual, legal given name is loads of fun because it’s a traditional boy’s name and it’s spelled weird and watching my Bumble dates try and process that information is more of a train wreck than watching them process the words “what are we?” Thanks for that, mom! But back to Wyatt, she’s number four on my list because I feel a sense of camaraderie with the kid. Like, we’re both in this together, except she’s a toddler that hit the genetic jackpot of good looks, personality, and money, and I’m just a girl with an Internet pseudonym and savage jokes. You know, similar but different.
3. Liam James Tell (Lauren Conrad & William Tell)
A normal name, imagine fucking that. Once again, LC wins at life by giving her child a classic fuckboy name and we’re into it. This kid is going to be a player, I can already see it. Picture the year 2034, the location is Cabo, and little Liam James is calling Saylor a slut for dancing on the bar. MTV, if you’re reading this, I can’t wait for Laguna Beach: The Next Generation.
2. Penelope Disick (Kourtney Kardashian & Scott Disick)
Leave it to Kourtney to come up with a name I’d be obsessed with. I was skeptical when she named Mason (it sounded too similar to a fuckboy I dated in college, in the sense that it is same name as the fuckboy I dated in college) and I can’t even with the name Reign. Clearly, Scott was blackout when he got to name that one. But I’m obsessed with Penelope. It’s unique but still adorably normal. It’s nice that she has a good, strong name to get her through life because reading about how daddy fucked a washed up Disney star Bella Thorne while she was home with Khloe is going to be a tough pill to swallow in middle school. Good luck, girl!
1. Jack Pratt (Anna Faris & Chris Pratt)
I know what you’re thinking, “Jack? But it’s so basic, so common, and it’s not even, like, spelled with an X.” And thank fucking god for that. I’m so over celebrities and their batshit baby names. Just think about it: there’s going to be an entire generation of children named Apple and Bear. APPLE AND BEAR. Seriously, during my research for this article the 3-5 hours I spend a night googling useless information, I discovered that in the past few years there have been FOUR celebrity children named Bear. And in my opinion, that’s four too many. I, mean, what’s next? Offred? Ofglen? Wait, nvm, I don’t like playing this game anymore.
Yep, I stand by my decision with Jack. Plus, any offspring of Andy Dwyer’s is someone I’ll stalk on social media a winner in my book. And if you don’t believe me, go check out Chris Pratt’s Instagram account–but only if you want your ovaries to melt from the cuteness.
Chris Pratt: *casually mentions son on social media*
Me:
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