If I say the name “Jamie Lynn Spears,” I can pretty much guarantee that the same thing will come to mind for almost everyone reading this: Zoey 101. It’s been over a decade since the Nickelodeon show was canceled on the heels of Jamie Lynn’s teen pregnancy, but it’s still her most memorable role by far. But last week, she added a new role to her resume, and I’m basically f*cking obsessed. To use TMZ’s phrase, Jamie Lynn proved herself to be a “sandwich shop vigilante” when she broke up a fight at a Louisiana fast food restaurant. I know you need more details, so let’s get into it.
The incident took place late at night at a Pita Pit in Hammond, Louisiana, which I guess is where Jamie Lynn Spears lives these days. I lived in New Orleans for four years, and I can tell you that Hammond is…super random. It’s basically a college town in the middle of nowhere like, an hour outside of NOLA, so I’m not really sure why she’s there, but I digress. She wound up at Pita Pit for a late night snack, and things quickly went south.
By the grace of god, TMZ obtained the security camera footage, which I’ve put at the end of this article for your viewing pleasure. For the first half of the video, it’s clear that some kind of brawl is going down in the corner of the frame, but you can’t really tell what anyone is doing. Then, like a Patronas charm coming out of nowhere to ward off an enemy, Jamie Lynn makes her move. She runs behind the counter, and grabs what I can only describe as the biggest knife I’ve ever seen. Really, why does Pita Pit even have a knife that big just lying around?
final clue guess : jamie lynn spears, with the knife, in the pita pit
— p?nk (@andrewtstep94) May 28, 2019
Though the guy working at the restaurant is obviously on the phone with the cops, Jamie Lynn has this sh*t handled. She waves the
machete knife in the direction of the fight, and suddenly it’s all over. Honestly, should we just send Jamie Lynn Spears to North Korea and see if she can defuse that whole thing? I stan a queen who brings peace wherever she goes.
TMZ initially reported that the fight broke out when Jamie Lynn’s friend got hit over the head with a bottle, but they later corrected that, saying that the bottle incident “happened the night before the knife incident.” Wait… excuse me? What is happening in Hammond, Louisiana, and why is Pita Pit apparently the spot where all the fights go down? Suddenly, going to get falafel sounds a lot more dangerous.
Instead of the bottle situation, this particular fight apparently had nothing to do with Jamie Lynn, and she only got involved when her friend was knocked over by the guys who were fighting. Basically, Jamie Lynn saw her friend getting messed with, and she went from 0 to 100 real f*ckin’ quick. Go off sis. TMZ reported that police showed up to the scene soon after, but Jamie Lynn’s friend decided not to press charges against the guys. Wait…so Jamie Lynn wasn’t in any kind of trouble for running behind the counter and brandishing a
sword knife at the patrons of a restaurant? I’m not saying she didn’t do what she had to do, but I still feel like that should be against some kind of law?
Hopefully Jamie Lynn Spears doesn’t have any more Pita Pit incidents in the near future, because she’s about to be busy with a new Netflix series that was announced earlier this year. It’s a romance/drama, so sadly she probably won’t get to show off her knife technique, but at least we’ll always have this video of her being a bad bitch:
God bless Jamie Lynn, god bless Pita Pit…what a time to be alive.
Images: Getty Images; andrewtstep94 / Twitter; TMZ / YouTube