Amanda Seyfried is a married woman now, and the rest of the Plastics definitely weren’t invited. In fact, no one was invited. Seyfried’s new husband Thomas Sadoski confirmed to James Corden (carpool Karaoke guy) on Thursday that the couple did, in fact, elope. Because when you’re as famous as Amanda Seyfried you don’t even need a wedding to make people pay attention to you for a year, because everyone already is.
“We just took off into the country with an officiant and just the two of us, and we did our thing,” Sadoski told Carpool Karaoke Guy. While “doing our thing” with an officiant sounds vaguely inappropriate, it really sounds like they decided not to do a wedding at all.
To be honest, its not surprising that Seyfried would do this. She’s always been pretty low-key (see: her sad excuse for an engagement ring), and having a giant wedding doesn’t seem like something she would be into. She’s also pregnant, and not that many women have a fantasy wedding scenario that involves a baby bump. Also, it’s probably hard for her to have a winter wedding. What if it rained? Her boobs would go crazy.
And if you’re wondering who tf Karen’s Amanda’s new hubby is, he’s a mildly successful actor from those John Wick movies your boyfriend is obsessed with, and he’s nine years older than her. He’s decently cute but like, not a Hemsworth or anything.
^Eh.
All in all, the two seem like a pretty normal couple, aside from the fact that Amanda has been famous for like, her entire life. Like, did you know she modeled for Limited Too with Leighton Meester back in the 90s? You’re welcome.
They probably didn’t get many wedding gifts, considering no one was invited, but Amanda has four movies coming out this year so they should be able to afford a mixer and some wine glasses on their own. We wish the happy couple all the best, but it is kind of sad that the only chance we’ll have to see Amanda Seyfried in a wedding dress is to re-watch the last scene in Mama Mia. Or like, all of Mama Mia. Brb actually. Gonna go do that now.
Another year, another nine nominations for Beyoncé. This year’s Grammys show touched on everything we expected it to: the subtle Trump jokes, the Adele vs. Beyoncé debate, and America’s attempt to think of what else James Corden does aside from Carpool Karaoke. In case you missed the biggest night in music (and the one time a year rappers decide to bring out their religious sides), we’ve recapped the night’s epic moments and the tragically bad ones. Here’s the lineup:
The Best
1. Beyoncé Giving No Fucks By Not Memorizing A Speech
Bey’s whole Multi-Cultural / Spiritual/ The Last Supper/ Mother’s Day Came Early themed performance was a bit confusing and very overwhelming, but we can’t judge the queen. She literally read her acceptance speech off of a golden pamphlet and gave no fucks that you’re supposed to memorize a speech. Do you think Queen Bey has time to run lines before the show?
2. The Fake Tweets Line
James Corden had a pretty minimal amount of solid jokes throughout the night, but we have to admit we were a fan of his “fake tweets” line when he started getting hate tweets from randos. We’re usually not that amused by all the political undertones in every punchline, but this one was subtle enough to be clever.
3. Chance The Rapper Winning Everything
TBH we weren’t that into Chance’s whole “in the name of the Lord” theme going on with his acceptance speeches, but we’re pretty happy about his triple win. Aside from the fact that “No Problem” is literally the pregame song of 2017, we were ready for a break from Drake and Rihanna winning every rap and hip hop award. We approve of Chance being artist of the year.
4. Carrie Underwood’s Dress
We honestly weren’t blown away by many of the fashion choices this year, but Carrie Underwood looked unreal in her hot red Elie Madi gown. We’re obsessed with the edgy cutout and bold color, and her makeup and new highlights looked unreal on top of it all. Her performance was alright too.
5. Bruno’s Performance
We’ve gone back and forth on our opinion on Bruno Mars. I mean, on one hand, I could throw my phone out of the car every time “Uptown Funk You Up” comes on the radio, but on the other hand, his songs are ideal for those blurry Ubers on the way to the club when you’re still convinced you’re in for a good night. We were hoping for “24K Magic,” but his “That’s What I Like” performance actually made us forget for a quick second that he’s literally 5’3″.
Related: The Best Moments From Beyoncé’s Grammy Performance To Make You Feel Unworthy
The Worst:
1. Twenty One Pilots Dropping Their Pants
I just wish I were in the room to shut down that idea the second one of them said, “If we ever win a Grammy, we should receive it just like this.” Like, Twenty One Pilots creeped me out already before this situation, so the second they dropped their pants, it just confirmed the creepiness. I mean, I get that their lesson was some “anyone can do this” bullshit, but did we need to see your scrawny hairy legs to get the message?
2. No One Knowing The “Sweet Caroline” Lyrics
That Carpool Karaoke joke actually had potential considering it literally is the one funny thing James Corden does. Why couldn’t anyone sing “Sweet Caroline”? I mean, I get that it’s an old song, but ask any kid at a bar mitzvah and they could belt that shit out from memory, so why couldn’t a bunch of professional singers do it??
3. Adele’s Tribute Fuck-Up
Adele, you’re the queen and you’re dramatic as fuck, but did you really need to restart the whole song that no one wanted to listen to in the first place? I guess it’s kinda respectable that you wanted to get the performance perfect in George Michael’s memory, but like, next time just sing better the first time around. We’ve seen you do it before.
4. James Corden’s Parents Bit
We’re not gonna deny that James Corden had some funny lines throughout the show, but the whole “parents cheating on each other” bit was cringeworthy AF. It was bad enough to see Heidi Klum on your dad’s lap. We didn’t need to suffer through your mom’s bad acting skills with Nick Jonas. This idea probably sounded better on paper.
5. Metallica’s Mic Fiasco
Lady Gaga obviously killed it at the Super Bowl last week, so it didn’t really bother us that she sang with Metallica, but once James Hetfield’s mic was clearly broken, we just wished she was up their solo. We’re not into heavy metal or anything, but we felt kinda bad for him watching him desperately try to share Gaga’s mic. I mean, it’s just sad that Adele got her do-over but he didn’t. Moral of the story? Sucks to be anyone that’s not Adele.
