This Resort Will Actually Let You Get Married For Free

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear “destination wedding?” If you didn’t think insanely expensive, well then, I just can’t relate to you. Yes, the idea of jet setting somewhere warm and tropical seems incredible but all I can feel when I think about it is crippling anxiety.

It appears Sandals Resorts has heard my cries and those of people everywhere and as a result created a free wedding package. Yes, you read that correctly: a FREE wedding at a 5-star luxury resort. So how does this seemingly too-good-to-be-true hookup work?

Here’s the deal. When you book three nights or more at the property, Sandals will provide you with a totally customizable wedding for free. This includes a ceremony venue (your choice from multiple locations on site), a bouquet and boutonniere, two-tiered white fondant cake, personal wedding planning team, preparation of marriage documents, pre-recorded music, table setting (including center pieces) with white linens, silverware, and crystal, and the cocktail reception. And you don’t even have to sell your soul to the devil! Sometimes you really can have it all.

For argument’s sake, we’re going to look at prime time wedding season to see what the bare minimum would be to qualify for a free wedding. To stay at Sandals Negril from July 30, 2020 through August 2, 2020, in the standard Caribbean Deluxe room, it will cost a grand total of $1,547 for two adults for three nights. One thousand five hundred and forty seven dollars. FOR TWO PEOPLE!!!! WTF??! Why didn’t someone tell me this as myself and my fiancé my dad wrote a five-figure check out to our wedding venue?? Moving on…

Even better, the luxuries don’t have to end there. If you want to go above and beyond what is provided for you, you can work with the devoted team at Sandals to bring your dream wedding to life and believe me when I tell you, anything is possible. Think: professional island trained dancers at cocktail hour, a vegan menu for those who need it, synchronized swimmers to perform a customized routine, a live band or DJ, upgrades on linens and centerpieces, and whatever else you could possibly imagine.

If three nights sounds a little short to you (like it does to me), you can get additional benefits if you stay six nights or longer, including: $500 decor credit toward extra sweets, a theme bar, or wedding cake; marriage officiant and marriage license fees waived, or up to $500 room upgrade credit; $200 photography credit; $200 videography or anniversary stay credit; and $100 scuba diving course, beach/pool cabana credit, or candlelight dinner credit.

But you’re not the only one benefiting from this package—your guests will too. If it’s not enough that you have given them a great excuse to take off work and go on vacation, they can enjoy perks like spa treatments, room upgrades, and catamaran cruises. And the more guests you have, the more perks you all will receive—which is RARELY the case when it comes to weddings, especially when it involves traveling to a destination.

Guests won’t think twice before booking their flights since Sandals offers a full service Red Lane spa, sushi (and any other food you’d want) on demand, personal white glove butler service, and even Maldivian inspired over the water bungalows to stay at. Chances are your guests will likely stay at the resort days beyond the wedding and really who could blame them?

But the real icing on the free cake is that since it’s an all-inclusive property, so you don’t have to worry about spending any actual money once you’ve arrived. Basically all of your nearest and dearest will be living it up in the sun, with food and booze constantly flowing. Sounds like a wedding I’d love to attend. Should I get married again?

3 Instagrammable Winter Getaways To Take With Your Friends

Much to the dismay of single people around the globe, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. The holiday gives the green light to couples to partake in romantic dinners, excessive PDA, and dry humping in the corner of da’ club (pls don’t). This year, why not escape the chaos with a Galentine’s Day trip with your single friends? We rounded up three great options—perfect to escape Cupid, his stupid arrow, and your annoying friends who are coupled up. Even if you can’t get your sh*t together in time for Galentine’s Day, these destinations make for amazing getaways during any season—but especially during winter. Oh, and by “getaways” we mean “Instagrams”.

Wake Up In the City That Doesn’t Sleep

If you are brave enough to weather the elements, why not take a bite out of The Big Apple for your getaway? NYC is the city that never sleeps and there is always the opportunity to get turnt all the way up with your besties. The Moxy Times Square, nestled right outside of Times Square, is offering a fun and affordable Galentine’s Day package that includes a night in one of their quad bunk rooms, 2 bottles of prosecco, and priority access to a tips and tricks seminar with their resident sex expert. Traipse around NYC, sport your winter wardrobe best, and sip bubbly—what better way to shield yourself from the cold?

Bar Moxy

Namaste, Nah…I’m Gonna Go To Hawaii

There is no better way to find your Zen with your besties than a trip to Hawaii. Consisting of eight islands, Hawaii boasts diverse scenery, tropical climates, oceanic splendor, active volcanoes and plenty of gorgeous, luxurious resorts. And who doesn’t love a good tiki cocktail? Check out The Fairmont Orchid—they have everything you need to find inner peace during your Galentine’s Day trip. And for what they may not have, there is a Mai Tai everywhere you turn in Hawaii. If fitness is your thing, kick off each day with Flo-yo (Floating Yoga) at 7am. The yoga takes stand-up paddle boarding a step beyond just trying your best to be like Jennifer Aniston. It provides a total core workout and definitely earns you a mimosa or five afterwards. Following your workout and a few shots of 151 proof rum, why not indulge in a spa treatment? YOU DESERVE IT!

Jamaican Me Crazy, Winter—Let’s Flip Some Tables in Ocho Rios

Why not escape the winter woes this Valentine’s Day and jet off to Jamaica for some R&R with the besties on a trip inspired by New Jersey’s fave Real Housewife? Iconic reality star and bodybuilder extraordinaire Teresa Giudice recently rung in the New Year in Jamaica and we got ALL the deets on her tropical getaway. We highly recommend mimicking her trip, but please, people—keep the table flipping stateside. The NY Times best-selling author relaxed for several days on the beach with her daughters and father at the Moon Palace Resort located in Ocho Rios, Jamaica. In between her dead lifts, squats, and application of self-tanner, Teresa squeezed in some mother-daughter massages at the spa, which has hot and cold plunge pools (perfect for a hot head like Tre). The Giudice crew also enjoyed some time on kayaking, swimming with dolphins, and a trip to Dunn’s River Falls. Thankfully, sprinkle cookies, Caroline Manzo and Melissa Gorga were not spotted in Jamaica during Teresa’s getaway.

Image: Frankie Cordoba / Unplash