The dressing room – it’s either your favorite place on Earth or your literal nightmare. Okay so, 9/10 times it’s going to be the latter. Let’s face it, since the dawn of online shopping (aka buying things you’re not sure will fit so that you can try them on in the comfort of your own home) the dressing room has lost a lot of its glamor. At this point, you’re really only in a dressing room when you’re at a store that’s too boujee for online shopping (congrats) or you’re just like, killing time in a Forever 21 before your next Bumble date (opposite of congrats.) Given that you’re almost always alone in the dressing room, it does provide you with some valuable time to reflect. You’re just alone with your thoughts (and 10 pounds of clothes) in there, so it is a time for some deep personal evaluation. What is “fashion?” Do I look amazing in this peplum top, or do I look totally insane? Is this a skinny mirror? What if I take this home and see it in my regular mirror and home lighting and hate it? Should I just like, get into shoplifting? Whatever your thought process is, there’s one thing that is clear: the dressing room is boring af. Check out our latest video and our new signature online-shopping-only collection at Shop Betches below:
Ah, salad. You know it’s good for you. You understand it’s life changing benefits. In theory, it is food. But in practice? Hard pass. Any time you order a salad for lunch, you go through four stages. The first is wondering how the fuck something made entirely out of things you can grow in your windowsill costs fifteen dollars. Like, excuse me but don’t mushrooms grow on shit? No bueno. The second, which lasts for about 30 seconds until you actually sit down to eat the thing, is immense personal pride in your good life choices. Are you a health and fitness guru now? Probs. Third is regret. Why did you do this to yourself? Is there anyone on Earth who actually enjoys eating this way? What could have possibly possessed you to get a salad, when a wrap would have been totally acceptable. Never again. Never forget. The final and most critical stage of salad eating usually comes once you realized you ate all of the croutons and there’s nothing left in your shiny plastic bowl but regret. This is the stage where you throw the entire thing in the trash and end up going to Chipotle. At least that shit is worth the $15.
Watch our video, “Internal Thoughts While Eating A Salad,” below!
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