There is literally nothing worse about summer—I mean, besides the heat, tourists, and children everywhere—than taking unflattering photos. It doesn’t matter how hot you look in your bikini IRL, at the wrong angle you could gain 50 pounds or look like an entirely different person. So since we are wearing less, you have to plan ahead to put your best foot forward (literally), and look hot af in every photo you Instagram all summer. Here are some sneaky ways to look better in pictures.
1. Don’t Stand Straight On
Unless you’re somehow perfectly spherical, you’re probably smaller in profile than straight on. A trick to get the perfect angle is to stand sideways first, then rotate a little to face the front, so you’re at the perfect 2/3 angle. See? Don’t even bother dieting, you just lost 10 pounds.
2. Hold Your Core (Don’t Suck It In)
No matter what size you are, anyone could look like they have a gut if their posture isn’t right—so with good posture, you’ll automatically look better in pictures. Having good posture is putting your shoulders back, straightening up, holding up your head, and holding in your core. It’s more like flexing your muscles than sucking in—if you don’t know what I’m talking about, go take a yoga class. You’re actually supposed to be always engaging your core, as it’s better for your posture. I mean, I accidentally hold my breath sometimes because I forget to breathe, so I don’t really do this, but you are supposed to. It makes your ab muscles hold your stomach in so you look less squishy, and it will show more definition. You know, if you have it. If you just suck in, you will probably look like you’re sucking in, which just makes you look 10 times worse. There is one horrible picture of me in high school where I was feeling kind of bloated so I sucked in really hard for a photo and I ended up making my ribs stick out. I looked like a starving child from a third world country, when I just wanted to look like 1998 Britney. It still haunts me to this day.
3. Point Your Leg
Don’t stand with equal weight on both feet in some kind of WWE pose. Shift most of your weight on your back leg and point your toe a little with your front leg. This will make you have the same definition you get when you wear heels (even if you’re barefoot).
4. Angle Your Face
It’s all about angles, are you catching on? Your face also looks better at a 2/3 view. It’s just a general rule, fight me. If you’re worried about a double chin, try pushing your head forward a little to stretch it out. Otherwise, just try not to look completely straight on at the camera. It also helps to open your eyes a little wider than usual, but not like crazy eyes or a serial killer.
5. Stand Away From The Camera
This is basic perspective. The closest things to the camera look biggest (plus have the worst warping from camera angles) so try to get further from the lense if you’re taking a group pic, or find someone to take it for you with you all standing equally as far.
Are you really trying to get ab definition in your beach pics? Wellll, if you really care about this, you can emphasize the abs you already have by contouring the same way we do with our cheekbones. Just put bronzer in the parts of your stomach you want to go in (like the sides and the ab crack), and highlighter on the “pack” muscles. When you take your photos, the light will catch highlight and push back the darker parts, so it’ll make you look more ripped. But please note, this only works if you already have some ab definition. I don’t think if you don’t have abs at all you can just like draw it on with makeup and have it look legit, but idk, maybe you’re super good at makeup, so you can give it a try?
Images: Giphy (5)
Summer is upon us, which means it’s time to start watching everyone live their best lives on Instagram. A favorite pastime of mine. Tbh I low-key stalk Instagram thots year-round; summer is just the season that’s coming up currently. I’m also intrigued by the batty AF trends people will try out during fall, winter, spring, Coachella, and Ariel Winter’s weekly cry for help. Basically I just watch a scary amount of Instagram stories. It’s v healthy. That being said, my newest obsession is following beauty bloggers on Instagram aka the people that make me want to like the unicorn trend. *shudders* But there’s a lot of basics out there rn claiming they’re beauty “influencers” when really they’re girls with an iPhone and a MAC palette. Which is why I’ve put together this comprehensive list of beauty bloggers you need to follow, like, right now.
There’s two reasons to follow MaryamNYC: one, she’s a sorceress when it comes to eye makeup tutorials and she is the reason I don’t leave the house looking like a street urchin (most) mornings. The second reason you should follow her is because she’s self-taught. As in, no one taught her shit about makeup she just, like, knows how to do it. I’ll just let that sink in for a moment. I stand by my earlier sorceress comment.
Ugh I hate when boys are prettier than me. For those of you who’ve been
productive members of society living under a rock, James Charles was the first male ambassador for CoverGirl and he’s only 17. SEVENTEEN. When I was 17 I was wearing chunky belts from Wet Seal, meanwhile this kid is on fucking billboards in Times Square. But that’s neither here nor there. I suggest following him if you want to feel bad about your wasted youth.
When this bitch isn’t slaying at beauty, her side hustle is being a permanent member of the Kardashian/Jenner glam squad. So, respect. Idk what intrigues me more about her account, wanting to know all her beauty secrets—like how tf she gets her cheekbones to look that good—or if she knows wtf actually happened at Kourtney Kardashian’s bday party. So. Many. Questions.
We’ve mentioned this betch before because her feed is legit Coachella goals and she’s getting an honorable mention from me again because dammit I cannot stop looking at this girl and all her glittery boho vibes. Keep doing you, boo.
It could be the pink hair or the pouty selfies that I’m sure only have 50% to do with makeup, but this girl is giving me some strong Kylie Jenner vibes rn. But instead of, like, whispering incoherent shit in her Snap story, this girl is actually helpful. Her YouTube videos are v instructive, plus she’s got a brand with Urban Decay so you know she knows her shit.
Once again, another man who has better cheekbones than me. *internally screams* Though he’s new to the beauty world, this kid is kicking ass and working with some top beauty brands like MAC Cosmetics and Michelle Phan’s Ipsy. Plus he’s seriously making be want to dye my hair electric blue so that’s where I’m at rn.
K, I’m just going to go backwards stalk myself now to see where it all went wrong for my blossoming career as an Instagram beauty blogger. Though if I had to pick a moment in time it would probs be the year my mother forced me to get bangs. Just saying.
If you have trouble explaining to your parents what the Kardashians do, try answering the same question about Jonathan Cheban. I mean, don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with being famous for being Kim Kardashian’s tag-along bestie who jets around the world trying the four-cheese lasagna dish at Italian restaurants and making random appearances in the Fountainebleau lobby, but let’s not pretend he does anything more than that. We’ve been following our favorite barely-out-of-the-closet foodie on Instagram for a while, but now that Keeping Up is back on air and we get to see Jonathan’s spray-tanned face every Sunday night, we decided to go through his Instagram feed and write down some of the questions we have for him. Here we go:
Why are you still trying to make ‘Foodgōd’ happen?
We’re gonna need the full story about how you stumbled upon the nickname “Foodgōd,” and whether or not you stole it from a chubby 9-year-old boy’s Snapchat username. We understand that being rich and bored can cause anyone to travel around the globe trying churros in Paris and truffle pizza in the South of France, but don’t you think the name kinda ruins the glamour of it all? Like, did you think you were pulling a “Lord Disick” move, but in the foodie world? Were you hoping a Cooking Mama-style video game would be named after you? Was your intention to be the next Guy Fieri, minus the greasy hair and impending heart attack? Also, what the fuck is with the accent over the O? You’re from New Jersey.
Why are you so obsessed with The Kardashians?
So, we obviously understand they’re the reason for your fame/existence, but are the constant references completely necessary? Jonathan is constantly advertising for the Kardashians’ products, whether it be their show, their app, Khloé’s denim line, or Kylie’s holiday palette. Are they paying you to promote their brand? Like, are you gonna start writing #ad on selfies with North and P? Plus, when you post clips of you on the show, it’s just awkward because you’re literally there to fill space. The Kardashians don’t actually care whether or not you think Kris’ new botox looks natural, and they don’t think it’s cool that you have a Yeezy Season 3 poster hanging above your bed. I mean, how many times have you taken the “How well do you know the Kardashians” quiz on Buzzfeed?
Who goes to this many fucking basketball games?
The Kardashians have gotten a lot of shit about their basketball player obsession over the years, but they’ve gotten over it, so why haven’t you left the stadium? We understand it looks somewhat cool to be sitting front row at a Heat game once in a while, but you’ve taken it to new levels, and it’s weird. Has the American Airlines Arena just become somewhere you spend time when you’re early to your Makoto reservation? Is this your attempt to look equally sporty and chic while catching a glimpse of Gabrielle Union? Or is this something deeper? Maybe you’re trying to make up for some childhood insecurity about being picked last in gym class? Please send over an explanation as soon as the game’s over and you get your selfie with Chris Bosh.
Who is taking all of these solo shots?
The amount of solo shots on Jonathan’s Instagram is honestly mind-blowing, and it’s not like they’re selfies or paparazzi shots that he’s reposting. They’re clearly taken on an iPhone, and we need to know who the fuck is willingly taking them. Do you ask the pilot on your private jet to snap a pic of you before takeoff? Do you give the Nobu waiters a bigger tip if they snap a candid photo of you eating your spicy tuna sashimi? We understand that you’ve taken #EatingForTheInsta to new heights, and we’re not judging you for wanting to document every luxury massage and hotel suite you’re being paid to promote, but we’re gonna need to know who is agreeing to take these pics.
There is more, but we don’t have all day and we don’t want to overwhelm Jonathan. Clearly, his Instagram creates wayyyy more questions than it does answers and will require significantly more investigation before we are able to come to any conclusions. But before we go, there’s just one final question Cheban fans (do these exist?) need answered: Are you okay? Like, seriously.