10 Fashion Trends That Look Cool On Instagram But Stupid IRL

We all know Instagram is a mere facade in comparison to actual reality. Even still, that doesn’t stop us from coveting the clothes, homes, and lifestyles of our favorite influencers. The thing is, just like most of the overly Facetuned Insta models on our feeds, a lot of what we see on Instagram looks significantly better in a curated and filtered post than it does in real life. Case in point: a lot of the “fashion trends” that are popular on social media don’t translate well to real life. I mean, just think about it. For the amount of girls in berets on your Insta feed, have you ever actually seen someone just casually wearing a beret to CVS on a Tuesday? Makes you think…

There are a few Instagram fashion trends right now that look cool on the ‘gram but would you make you look like a fool in real life. And don’t get me wrong, I wholeheartedly support the aesthetic of these trends on my feed; I just need to point out how dumb they would look out on the streets.

1. Ankle Purse

Ankle purse? Anklet bag? I legit don’t know what else to call it, so lmk if you have suggestions. This trend looks very G.I. Jane cool-girl vibes on Insta, but gives off very “is she or is she not on house arrest?” vibes in real life. The concept is actually a good idea in theory, because the bag itself is useful. As the friend in the group who is notorious for leaving my wallet at the bar, this could be a stylish alternative for bringing my ID and all my cards out in a foolproof device that even I can’t lose. Of course, we’re clearly not going out to the bars and getting wasted right now, so it’s all moot. Touch base with me this time next year, and fingers crossed life is back to normal and you may actually see me out and about, doing shots in these Kim Possible boots.


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A post shared by MOLLY-MAE (@mollymaehague)

Public Desire Intention Black Chunky Sole Pouch Ankle Boots, $52.99

2. Over-The-Top Skiwear

Not going to lie, watching the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City has made me long for a full Chanel ski suit… but then I remember I have -$14 in my bank account and am nowhere near a slope. Like, yes, Kylie looks cool in her full leopard print ski set, but try to imagine actually wearing this to your closest sh*tty ski resort. I’m just picturing my yearly ski outings with my family out in bumblef*ck Pennsylvania and me showing up in this high-fashion lewk, meanwhile, my twenty-something siblings are still wearing their childhood skiwear from Gap Kids. Unless you’re headed to Aspen or just buying the outfit solely for the picture, this is a trend I love to see on my feed, but that would make me cringe if I saw in the wild.


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A post shared by Kylie 🤍 (@kyliejenner)

ASOS 4505 Ski All In One 80s Printed Ski Suit, $190

3. Mesh Jumpsuit

I can’t even entertain this trend because I’m already annoyed imagining all the passive-aggressive comments I’d hear from the Boomers in my life. Again, this trend looks phenomenal on Instagram and everyone looks so hot, but its practicality is, well, nonexistent. That being said, we should probably just leave this one on Instagram — or just like, to the Kardashians and Kardashian-adjacents to handle.


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A post shared by Anastasia Karanikolaou (@stassiebaby)

Pretty Little Thing Green Marble Print Jumpsuit, $18

4. Long Sleeve One Piece Swimsuit

Long sleeve one pieces are the perfect swimsuit for Instagram and Instagram only. I guess they could also work if you’re Kim K and you take your inner circle to a private island after two weeks of multiple tests and quarantining — then you could pretend it’s normal to wear this there too. Personally, I just picture myself at my local Jersey Shore beach looking like I’m an extra in Free Willy in this wetsuit.


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A post shared by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian)

Gigi C Cici Surfsuit, $260

5. Bras as Tops

Honestly, I’m a big fan of this trend. It’s so chic and gives sexy pin-up vibes. I’m here for it — for Instagram. Or, like, a Miami club, then sure. But  I’m not going to CVS in a straight bra top and blazer. (Also, I know I bring up going to CVS a lot here, but nowadays that’s the only destination I leave my house for.) So if you’re not wearing it for Insta and not going to the clubs (which you shouldn’t be), then where on Earth are you wearing it? Just get a great Insta picture, rack up the likes, and then leave the trend there until we can go to festivals and sh*t again.


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A post shared by MAURA HIGGINS (@maurahiggins)

Tobi Liberated Diamante Crop Top, $38

6. Micro Purses

This trend has officially gone TOO far. Purses have continually gotten smaller, but lately they’ve become Polly Pocket sized. They are completely useless, so you’re literally just carrying them around to look trendy and cool. And tbh, you look stupid. Leave this trend to the celebrities who have people to carry all their actual sh*t for them.


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A post shared by THE bag (@lizzostinybag)

Forever 21 Top Handle Crossbody Bag, $12.99

7. Exposed Thong

Apparently this was a trend in the late 90s and early 2000s, but I had no idea, probably because I was in grade school at the time. Bella Hadid obviously looks cool on Insta (and I’m sure in real life too) with her thong casually exposed. However, I have a suspicious feeling that, unless you’re an edgy runway model like Bella, the rest of us would just look trashy.


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A post shared by Bella 🦋 (@bellahadid)

Garage Lace String Thong, $9.95

Coal N Terry Combat Pant – Sand, $90

8. Full Latex/Leather Outfit

Yeah, so remember that episode of RHOBH when they’re in Berlin and Erika Jayne wears that red latex top and almost gets hit by a biker because she can barely move? That was just her trying to navigate through the streets in a latex top, so imagine trying to wear a full latex or leather outfit. The head-to-toe latex/leather ensemble has become a signature favorite of the Kardashians but makes zero sense for the rest of us out here trying to live our lives, because you literally can’t move in them.


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A post shared by Kourtney Kardashian (@kourtneykardash)

Cath Paname Pants Charon, $102

9. Exaggerated Sleeves

My fellow Bravo fans will know that all Real Housewives live for an exaggerated sleeve interview look. It always looks fantastic on our TVs and Insta feeds but sometimes a bit absurd in person. If it’s too exaggerated, you instantly look like the most extra person in the room. Great camera look indeed, but I’m going to suggest you minimize the exaggeration factor to prevent all the hassle.


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A post shared by Olivia Pierson (@oliviapierson)

Nocturne Balloon Sleeve Wrap Top, $52.99

10. Socks With Sandals

’90s kids will know from Nickelodeon’s Rocket Power that a person wearing socks with sandals is a shoobie, and you do not want to be a shoobie. Maybe it’s this conditioning from my favorite childhood cartoon that makes me now unable to wear this trend. Of course, I love how it looks on all the cool go-with-the-flow beachy Insta girls, but in person? Ehh, not so much.


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A post shared by Federica (@valliifederica)

J/Slides Leighton Black Metallic Leather, $89

STAX Unisex Crew Socks, $16 

Look, I’m the first person here to raise my hand and admit that I have bought something exclusively to wear it for an Instagram picture, knowing full well it will never actually see the outside of my house. Which is also why I kindly provided you the products if you too need to up your IG game — no shame in that.

Images: Dmitry_Tsvetkov / Shutterstock.com; mollymaehague, kyliejenner, stassiebaby, kimkardashian, maurahiggins, lizzostinybag, bellahadid, kourtneykardash, oliviapierson, valliifederica / Instagram; Public Desire; ASOS; Pretty Little Thing; Gigi C; Tobi; Forever 21; Garage; Coal N Terry; Cath Paname; Nocturne;  J/Slides; Stax

Betches may receive a portion of revenue when you click a link and purchase a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.

9 Quarantine Trends You’ve Already Forgotten About

If you didn’t already think time was a social construct, the last six months have probably changed your mind. The movie you said you watched last weekend? That was two months ago. And the tweet you thought you saw last week? It was posted today. Since we’re all online literally all day and have nothing better to do than run a new meme into the ground hours after it’s created, new trends come and go faster than ever before. While the banana bread and sourdough baking phase is probably seared so permanently into your memory that you’ll be telling your grandkids about it when they ask about 2020, there are probably a few trends and moments that have already been erased. 

The Carrot Challenge

Approximately two days into quarantine, everyone was apparently already so bored that they resorted to an Instagram challenge where they tagged their friends to draw a carrot on their story. It is truly remarkable to look back at this moment in time and realize how naïve we were that we could have possibly thought that was the worst it was going to get.

Whipped Coffee

This feels like something from an entirely different time, back when there was still hope (aka mid March). Thanks to one of the first TikTok trends to pop up in quarantine, people everywhere were using the 20 minutes that they’d usually spend commuting to the office to whisk coffee into a froth. Given that I haven’t heard anything about this in a few months, it seems like people have now realized that time is better spent sleeping in.

“Until Tomorrow”

this quarantine is really testing the limits of what photos make the cut for a throwback post on instagram

— Betches (@betchesluvthis) May 8, 2020

Another long-forgotten trend is the “Until Tomorrow” era, a time when you couldn’t open Instagram without seeing a feed full of embarrassing photos, bad selfies, and baby pictures (that would be taken down the next day to avoid total humiliation). Personally I think taking your photo down is a weak move, since true Instagram baddies have had embarrassing photos up since 2010 and never took them down no matter how bad (and over-filtered) they were.

“First Photo” Challenge

As I’m sure all the other single people quarantining alone would agree, this challenge felt like a personal attack. Seriously, couples posting their first pics together? Like, did I ask for every other Insta story to remind me that I’ll be riding out a pandemic alone and getting dressed up for FaceTime dates for the foreseeable future? 

Instagram Live

Remember that week (or was it a month? Who knows) where you got a notification every five minutes that someone was going live on Instagram? Including the girls from high school “running their own businesses” showing you how to use their essential oils? My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who accidentally joined someone’s live where there were only two other people watching. Leaving one of those is almost as uncomfortable as the split second of eye-contact you make with your boss every time you exit a Zoom meeting.

Push-Up Challenge

“See 10, do 10?” Yeah, I’m good thanks. I haven’t done a push-up since I was forced to for the fitness test in elementary school, and I won’t be picking those back up because someone tagged me in an Instagram story.

Tiger King

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🍿🍿🍿 [twitter: ericonederful]

A post shared by By Sarah Merrill (@bigkidproblems) on

The memory of Tiger King feels like a fever dream. Like, we were really so desperate for entertainment at that point that we just ate that sh*t up and said “NEXT, PLEASE.” It’s kind of incredible that we got desensitized to the absurdity of every single event that happened in that series so quickly. But given how f*cked up everything has become since then, it was good preparation for coping with the rest of the year.

Zoom Happy Hours

if you're still scheduling 14 zoom happy hours every weekend you can chill, we all just want to sleep

— Betches (@betchesluvthis) April 24, 2020

Realizing that having a Zoom happy hour every night of the week does not make up for real-life interaction was a breakthrough that took longer than it should have. Playing drinking games at home is fun when you have somewhere to go afterward, not when you’ll just be sitting in your childhood bedroom, totally wasted, after you shut your laptop.

The “One New Thing A Day” Phase

I’ve been thinking a lot about the people who started quarantine by saying “I’ll be making one new cocktail a day!” or “Every day I’m going to make one new piece of art!” Where’d they go? Last I heard from them it was day 14 I think. Are they okay?

Instagram challenges and TikTok trends will come and go, but you know what will never go out of style? Wearing a f*cking mask.

Images: Mollie Sivaram / Unsplash; bigkidproblems / Instagram; betchesluvthis / Twitter 

Why The Celebrity Finsta Is The Best New Instagram Trend

Since Instagram first became popular several years ago, regular people and celebrities alike have put an insane amount of effort into keeping up their perfect grid. We all probably have about 42 editing apps on our phones, but it seems like we’re finally seeing a shift on Instagram. In 2019, people are finally focusing on authenticity over perfection, and certain celebrities are leading the charge.

The idea of the fake Instagram, or “finsta,” has been around for a few years, and it originated with regular people. Especially for young people concerned with their image, having a secondary (usually private) account is an easy to post more unfiltered content for close friends. But any good trend doesn’t stay hidden for long, and now celebrities are jumping on the finsta train. The concept of the finsta isn’t really new, but celebrities are now bringing the trend of secondary, less polished accounts to new and exciting places. I spoke with Charles Porch, Head of Global Creative Programs at Instagram, to learn about why the celebrity finsta is one of the most exciting things happening on the platform today, and how the trend signifies a larger shift in how we use Instagram.

While the celebrity finsta trend has picked up steam in 2019, some celebs have been more unfiltered on Instagram for a long time. Porch points to Cole Sprouse’s account @camera_duels as one of the earliest examples. For years, Cole has been taking pics of people taking pics of him, and the result is a hilarious behind the scenes look at what it feels like to be famous.

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Who would have thought, the mother with child, would have prioritized taking our picture over steadying her baby's carriage on a moving train? I did. I would have thought. Firstly, her child is too young for The Street Life of Shaq and Kobe, so we all know she was taking that picture for herself. Unless of course she was making a long term investment, banking on the baby enjoying the show when #it grows up. #ItsCalledInvesting. Trying to be sneaky, she made the number 1 rookie mistake, #Flash. My poor, helpless, innocent, virgin brother was caught in the middle of our duel. You can see the fear in his eyes and the determination in mine, both being trumped by the look of shame in hers. #cameraduels #BabyOnBoard #FamilyDrama #TheStreetLifeOfShaqAndKobe

A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@camera_duels) on

With these unfiltered photos, Cole Sprouse manages to poke fun at himself in a way that’s both hilarious and unquestionably authentic. While many public figures are meticulous about their social media aesthetic, accounts like this are actually more entertaining to follow. According to Charles Porch, celebrity content like this “brings us closer to them, and makes us love them even more.”

While Cole Sprouse has never cared much about his Instagram aesthetic, we’ve recently seen some more unexpected celebrities branching out from their standard posts. Last month, Gigi Hadid hopped on the celebrity finsta train with an account dedicated to photos from her disposable camera. While her main feed is mostly flawless shots from runway shows and ad campaigns, her second account is unedited and off the cuff.

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Me @ LV by @cullysmoller. Paris, France.

A post shared by Gi’sposables ? (@gisposable) on

One of Charles Porch’s favorite examples of the celebrity finsta is Lizzo’s account for her flute. Lizzo has had a meteoric rise this year, and her DGAF attitude on social media is definitely part of the reason why. Her main account already feels authentic and unfiltered, so her finsta is pure comedy. Here’s her flute wearing the outfit that Lizzo wore to this year’s Met Gala.

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Who wore it better? #metgala @marcjacobs @themarcjacobs

A post shared by Sasha Flute (@sashabefluting) on

Iconic. While some people will probably never hop on the celebrity finsta trend, Charles Porch sees it as a direct response to what’s happening in the current youth culture. Today’s teens have grown up with social media all around them, so they interact with Instagram and other platforms in a different way than millennials. Porch notes that many teens have multiple accounts to align with their various friend groups, and this is trickling down (or up?) to celebrities.

Porch has noticed that more and more, public figures are finding inspiration directly from regular people on Instagram, and this is more true with the finsta than anything else. With multiple accounts, celebs can “connect to different subcultures of fans, art, and causes” that are important to them. Porch says that secondary accounts are all about celebs “connecting directly to fans,” and that we finally get to “be part of the journey.” We all really want to feel closer to our favorite stars, and celebrity finsta accounts accomplish exactly that.

More than anything, Charles Porch stresses that “Instagram is a living, breathing platform,” so trends like the celebrity finsta are always coming and going. While Porch is confident that the celebrity finsta is here to stay for the foreseeable future, it’s far from the only IG trend that he’s excited about. He called 2019 the “Year of the Legends,” noting that famous actresses like Julia Roberts and Michelle Pfeiffer are finally making their way to the platform. Porch is also excited about the role that Instagram will play in the 2020 election, with political figures like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Elizabeth Warren utilizing the platform like never before.

With viral reports that the Instagram aesthetic is dead, and continued testing with disabling the number of likes on posts, there’s no doubt that it’s an exciting time to be on Instagram. Things are always growing and changing, and the celebrity finsta will be an exciting trend to follow.

Imgaes: camera_duels, gisposable, sashabefluting / Instagram

5 Fitness Products That Are A Total Scam

Nicole Nam has a Bachelors of Science in Public Health Nutrition Specialization and a Masters of Science in Kinesiology. She has a personal training certification from the American Council of Exercise, and has trained a variety of clients, including a contestant in this year’s Miss Nevada competition. Follow her on Instagram here.

Before we even get into the nitty gritty of this article, I want to really quickly touch on something that recently happened in the fitness influencer world. This past week, a huge IG fitness influencer, Brittany Dawn, made headlines for scamming her followers out of hundreds of dollars by selling them what was supposed to be “personalized” workout and meal plans but instead were just basically the standard fitness ebooks. A word of warning: please do your research on the person you’re “hiring” to become your trainer! Even if they’re online. Choose quality over appearance—some people look good and don’t have the certification or training themselves to be able to spot correct form or even guide you on proper movement.

That being said, I would love to tell you that every fitness product being promoted and sold on IG is legitimate. I get it, there are so many products that look so damn good, but they just don’t make any sense. Trust me, I’ve tried quite a few products myself out of curiosity. I’m here to give you the full review on some trendy fitness products that I’ve tried over the years and whether they work (spoiler: most don’t) and the “science” behind the products (or, more accurately, lack thereof).

1. Weight Loss Protein Powder

I’ll start with this: there was this one particular protein powder that was DELICIOUS. For fear of legal repercussions I can’t really, like, name-name them…but it was a UK-based company and every IG influencer was at one point promoting the living crap out of it. Good marketing, as we will come to learn, does not a good product make. I did further research on said product, and found out that their whole nutrition label was a potentially (most likely?) a lie. As in, their shakes allegedly contained wayyy more carbs, and less protein, than were disclosed on the label.

That said, I used the protein powder as a post-workout supplement and NOT as a meal replacement, and it provided a better alternative for a sweet tooth craving (because this powder did taste really, REALLY good). I do not suggest ever using protein powder as a meal replacement if the powder is considered to be a low-calorie, fat burning powder with a high caffeine content. Also, the FDA does not regulate these supplement claims, so whatever you see on the nutrition labels and the miracle working promises are all up to the discretion of the company…meaning they could easily bullsh*t the whole thing. This applies for ALL supplements for sale in the USA, like in your GNC stores and stuff, not just the products you see on Instagram. The more you know.

2. Waist Trainer

I truly blame the Kardashians for this trend. A waist trainer basically makes you sweat more in your midsection, which is great… but SWEAT IS NOT FAT. Sweat is water mixed with tiny amounts of ammonia, salt and sugar molecules. So just because you sweat more does not mean you’re losing fat. If sweating more motivates you to work harder (it happens), then by all means. Just know that that’s not fat that’s seeping out from your pores.


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#ad I’m really obsessed with waist training! Thank you @premadonna87 for my new waist shapers! #whatsawaist

A post shared by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

Now, I won’t lie…I do use a waist trainer, but not for the same reasons it’s being marketed for. I use a waist trainer as a back support for certain exercises such as squats, deadlifts, and certain abdominal exercises. If you want to use one, for whatever reason, I suggest using ones that do not have hard boning as that can restrict your movement and breathing.

3. Detox Tea

Good ol’ poop tea. That’s all that it is, and you could literally get it at an Asian supermarket for a fraction of the price. It’s called like, the Ballerina Dieter’s Tea or something like that, but I swear it’s been in Asian culture—or at least in MY Asian family’s culture—for ages. We whip it out whenever someone can’t, ya know, go.


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#ad using @fittea before my shoots is my favorite ☺

A post shared by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

So, yes, I use detox tea and I grew up around it (although the packaging was way less sexy)…BUT there’s something inherently very dangerous about people using laxative products to lose weight, because that’s actually a form of purging, so I advise caution. I think these teas are great for when you need them (aka when you are constipated), but do you REALLY need to detox everyday for 14 days as per most detox tea “instructions”? No, you don’t. I wouldn’t use them for 3 days straight, let alone 14. Using even a mild form of laxative for that long just cannot be good for your digestive system. At the end of the day, you want to still be able to go without any help, right? Don’t do it.

4. Appetite Suppressant Coffee Creamer

What a novel f*cking concept. So novel, in fact, I bought one at my local Gelson’s and I don’t even normally use creamer in my coffee (guess I was feeling spend-y that day). Remember when I talked about products that don’t make sense? This is one of them. So the creamer has ingredients such as hoodia and green tea extract that are in a lot of popular fat burner pills. The main ingredient is coconut oil, which is arguably better than your Coffee-Mate bullsh*t.


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Stay cozy this Saturday with our fan favorites. Hazelnut, Original, and Birthday Cake! Which is your favorite?

A post shared by Leaner Creamer Coffee (@leanercreamer) on

I stuck to the serving size which is a measly 2 teaspoons and the only difference it made was turn my coffee from black to a dark milky brown. I prefer my coffee black anyway, but there was literally no noticeable change in the taste of my coffee. I tried it three times and threw the bottle out, because it was useless. I mean, it barely made a change in my coffee so it’s definitely not doing anything for my body. Save your money, and learn to like your coffee without all the cream and sugar. All the caffeine without any of the crap.

5. Celery Juice

I swear, people are always trying to find a way to juice something. I can’t throw a bigger eye roll at this trend. This sh*t blew up on IG, and now EVERYONE is drinking neon green juice in the morning that is completely FIBERLESS and actually just like 90% water anyway. The dude who started off this trend is a health “guru” who is neither certified nor trained, btw, but claims to hear a voice that tells him about other people’s health status. He literally just started drinking the sh*t one day when he was 8 years old because he said a “voice” told him to. Is that who you want to take health advice from? Like, really?

celery juice

There is absolutely no science backing celery juice as anything else but mostly water, because duh, celery is made up of mostly water. Unless you’re drinking this because you enjoy the taste (and let’s face it, you don’t), I suggest you stop juicing celery and start eating it whole because the fiber is the most valuable part of the celery. And PLEASE PEOPLE, stop trying to juice everything like you don’t have time to eat the actual fruit or vegetable. You’re not that busy, sweetie.

Images: @rawpixel/Unsplash

5 Fall Instagram Trends That Are Officially Canceled This Year

Summer is almost over, and I know this because instead of feeling the need to go outside and actually do things with my life, my needs veer more towards re-watching old episodes of Veronica Mars and eating an entire sleeve of soft-baked cookies in one sitting. That’s a clear indication that it’s time for me to stop giving a shit about my summer body and layer the fuck up because it’s fall. And, honestly, thank God. IDK how much longer I could pretend to be excited about pounding vodka drinks in broad daylight and squeezing my bloated AF self into a bikini every other weekend. There’s only so much I’m willing to put up with for Instagram likes. So, yeah, I’m v glad about the fast-approaching fall season. And why shouldn’t I be? Fall is the one season that still involves heavy amounts of drinking (hello tailgates, cider season, Halloween, and forced family visits with your drunk cousin Steven Thanksgiving), and encourages you to drink in flowy, full-coverage clothing as God and my weekend bloat intended.

But where there’s a pumpkin patch there’s a basic fucking bitch just asking for me to kindly give her some life advice anonymously blast her on the Internet. It’s like once the leaves start to change, girls in riding boots and circle scarves start popping out of the fucking woodwork. Suddenly the streets of New York look like a Michael Kors flash mob is about to break out, except no one is dancing and everyone is posting selfies with the caption #OOTD. It’s v unsettling and these trends have to be stopped. So listen up, betches, because this is about to be a rude fucking awakening for some of you. Here are the 5 fall Instagram trends that are canceled forever. Brace yourselves.

1. Pumpkin Spice Anything

It’s like the only way I can tell if it’s fall anymore is when my Insta feed starts blowing up with PSL selfies and that shit has got to stop. I mean, pumpkin flavored beverages in the fall? Groundbreaking. And it’s always the same girl who juiced all summer and pretends like kale doesn’t taste like literal sadness that starts chugging PSLs like it’s her damn job come October 1st. I’m guessing she doesn’t know that her favorite fall beverage is 70 percent sugar, 30 percent pumpkin flavored fat that’s one hundred percent going to make her shit her leggings in 30 minutes or less? Tbh none of that shit is as offensive to me as when a girl orders her PSL as a skinny. I mean, have you no shame?? Skinny is Starbucks’ way of letting you know that your drink is fat and so are you and it’s the perfect amount of shame needed to start your morning. Now, do I myself also order PSL’s as a skinny? You bet your ass I do. But do I hate myself while I’m doing it? Only when I ask for a skinny latte with whipped cream. No, we’re all better than this. This shit is cancelled.


Pumpkin Spice Latte


2. Fall Themed Props

You know what I’m talking about here, the girls who pose with giant-ass pumpkins or throw piles of leaves in the air like assholes. Every single time fall rolls around it’s like they’ve never seen a goddamn leaf before in their life. I mean, you girls have college degrees, studied abroad in foreign countries, and you’re telling me the most interesting thing you’ve seen in your whole damn life is a leaf? GTFO of here. Whole trips are even planned around this Instagram shot, because before the days where you could get an easy 100 likes, you would never fucking consider spending an entire Saturday upstate in an abandoned field picking apples. It’s extra and so are you.

3. Thanksgiving Feast Pics

There’s nothing that gives me more of an urge to to set myself on fire like watching some size two thot post a photo of her Thanksgiving feast on Instagram. Like, you haven’t eaten a carb since 2009, don’t pretend like you’re going to gorge yourself on this most sacred day. At most you’ll “fill up” on salad and then spend the rest of the day saying insane shit like “I’m stuffed” or “I really couldn’t eat anymore.” You disgust me. Also, this person is 1,000 percent wearing some sort of skintight ensemble to her family’s Thanksgiving. Memaw did not slave away all day making sweet potato casserole from scratch just to watch you take selfies with the Thanksgiving turkey in a holiday club dress. No, Memaw doesn’t need that shit from you and neither do I, the person who came to the table dressed in my sister’s old maternity pants and ready to eat until she passes out party. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll cut that shit out before I have the chance to screenshot your offending self and forward it to my most savage group chat.

4. Inspirational Fall Selfies

Inspirational selfies are the reason I started my burn book. I don’t really have beef with selfies in general or, like, the girl that has her friend kneel in oncoming traffic so she can get the perfect shot of her brunch outfit. Whatever. Live your truth, ladies. What I hate is when one of those bitches pretends like she’s not a self-absorbed asshole and has to turn her selfie into a Lifetime movie message. And no season brings on that bullshit like the fall season. You know what I’m talking about here—she’ll take a selfie staring out into the distance or sitting on a patch of grass in the park and caption it with like, “the trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let the dead things go.” Which is a beautiful quote from a very smart woman but I’m pretty sure the girl who’s using it in her Instagram is thinking about the guy who ghosted her on Bumble and not, like, the state of our world. Just because the leaves are changing does not mean your basic ass is. Nope, BYE.

5. Slutty Halloween Costumes

Is it Halloween if your mother isn’t ashamed of the pictures you’re tagged in on Facebook? I think not. Slutty Halloween costumes have stood the test of time, and honestly who would we be if we weren’t mistaken for a prostitute at least once in our lives every October? But, y’all, it’s 2017 and we are way more evolved now so I think it might be time we retire our blatant display of daddy issues slutty Halloween costumes. LOL KIDDING. Slutty Halloween costumes will never go out of style and thank God for that. As a person who spends five days a week pushing the boundaries of “business casual,” it’s nice to know there’s still at least one day a year where I can just be a hoe me. Like, what, just because I’m 25, have a full-time job, and pay my own rent I’m supposed to be above dressing up in a bodysuit and cat ears? You’ve lost your damn mind.

Read: The Fall Accessory Trends You Need To Stock Up On Now
You And Your Enthusiasm Killed The Eyebrow Trend

This is why we can’t have nice things. Somebody on Instagram got bored and decided to start a new brow trend that makes your eyebrows look like Will Ferrell’s character from Zoolander. They’re calling it barbed wire brows, which isn’t exactly a sexy sounding name either. Sure, because we want to think of coarse and sharp metal when we think of our faces. What’s going to be next, freckles that look like stalagmites? Oh wait. We already have freckle tattoos, so pretend I never said that.


Just for fun the “barbed wire” brow inspired by @athenapaginton ! This photo is simply for brow appreciation, I used red glitter and clear gloss on the lid. . . . . . . . .

A post shared by Sara•Jean (@jeanxfoxx) on

Unfortunately the barbed wire brow isn’t the first brow of its kind. The feathered brow—literally separating your eyebrows down the middle so they look like two feathers above your eyes—has been making the Instagram rounds as well, and our first instinct was to look for Sarah McLaughlin so we could donate to the charity behind this “trend”. Because surely nobody would willingly make their eyebrows look like that unless they were born with some rare eyebrow deformity, right? But nope, there was no GoFundMe to speak of, just an overly confident makeup artist on the other end who is trying to ruin our lives with fugly brow trends.


note to self: when u make a joke about starting a funny brow trend people will take it seriously and…. well. start the trend anyways THANK YOU for all the love and hate on my last pic! i think we should call this #featherbrows so if you actually want to recreate this, pls use the hashtag and tag me in the picture skin: @maccosmetics strobe cream, face&body foundation c1, pro longwear concealer in NC15, fix+ highlight: @maccosmetics Double Gleam brows: glue stick + @anastasiabeverlyhills dipbrow pomade in Dark Brown eyeshadows: @maccosmetics Texture & Coppering lashes: @ardell_lashes Wispies lips: @lipsicosmetics Leros + clear lip gloss

A post shared by Stella Sironen (@stella.s.makeup) on

It’s like somebody watched The Hunger Games and saw how people in the Capitol dressed and thought that’s the epitome of beauty. We love Elizabeth Banks and all, but we’re not about to live in a future where the beauty standard is clown casual.

We can get down with thick brows, but brows that look like they belong in a Coachella headband are not a good look. Sorry, but those barbed brows make your face look like a 8-year-old’s science fair project. What’s next, wearing fake eyelashes on your eyebrows? Brow extensions? Beaded brows? Never mind, forget we even said that.

Freckle Tattoos Are The Latest Beauty Trend For Those Looking To F*ck Up Their Face

In case there weren’t enough terrifying beauty trends in 2017 already (see: Lisa Frank makeup and the comeback of spray tans via the Cheeto Dictator of the United States), now people are tattooing freckles on their faces and redheads all over the world are ugly crying over their unused concealer sticks.

When I first heard about this trend I thought it was maybe some sort of sick joke being played on Lindsay Lohan because we all know that girl spent half of her Mean Girls earnings trying to laser that shit off. But sadly this shit is very real and appears to be here to stay (at least until the next moronic Instagram beauty trend pops up).

Face Palm

Here’s the deal: for the low, low price of $250 AN HOUR people can ask tattoo artists and trained microbladers to fuck tat them up with fake freckles. Apparently people—real people, not characters in a Judy Blume novel—like, actually want permanent face spots? Idk. Guess so, because the hashtag #freckletattoo is casually breaking Instagram and our hearts.

What Is Microblading And Is It Worth It Or Nah?

Permanent Freckle Tattoo https://t.co/ggvn2UtDXq pic.twitter.com/JGzFONzU3l

— Jonathan van Dyck (@JonathanvanDyc1) February 23, 2017

I would bet the glass of wine I’m holding in my hand right now that some hipster model in Bushwick started this trend but now people like Khloé Kardashian are making it famous, and we are seriously disturbed. We aren’t sure when people stopped fucking up their skin the natural way by day drinking spending time in the sun and resorted to this expensive af “beauty” treatment, but yet here we are.

Users claim they’re getting freckle tattoos to cover up acne blemishes and other unmentionables but, you know what, so does FUCKING MAKEUP.


Today’s Freckle makeover!! Really love freckles on this actual doll face ! Thanks for the trust! Freckles lighten up a lot within a few weeks, this pic is immediately after ! #freckletattoos #cosmetictattoo #semipermanentmakeup #frecklesonfleek #frecklesarecute #freckleface #vancouvertattoo #pmuartist #pmu

A post shared by SARAH GRISDALE (@sarahgrisdaletattoo) on

Am I the only one who thinks this looks like the before picture of a blackhead acne commercial??

Just when you thought freckles were for redheads and poor people who can’t afford a Kylighter, suddenly 14-year-olds beauty bloggers on Instagram are there to slap you in the face with a harsh dose of reality. This beauty trend is def for try-hards, but people also get tattoos of infinity symbols so I guess there’s always worse shit you could tattoo on your body. Maybe. Is an infinity tattoo worse than permanent freckles?? The former says “I did molly once at Coachella and now dream of becoming a professional hula hooper,” while the latter says “I have the foresight of a goldfish and actively want people to cyber bully me.” What a fucking world we live in.

Real talk though, who wants to bet that LiLo is getting fucked up in some euro nightclub rn because freckles are in again?