5 Celebrities Who Need To Join Instagram

Since its launch, Instagram has evolved from an app where you posted grainy photos of your Starbucks drink for your 24 followers to a global platform that’s basically its own economy. I mean, just look at the number of thinkpieces about what will happen now that Instagram is hiding like counts. Of course, Instagram has created an entire world of influencers and semi-models who rely on their likes, but then you also have the real celebrities. Some do ads (even though they don’t need to), some just post whatever they want. There are entire Instagram accounts dedicated to what celebrities are doing on Instagram, and nowadays, something as simple as a like can turn into a newsworthy event.

While some celebs were early adopters of Instagram, more and more famous people have finally joined in the last year or two. More famously, Jennifer Aniston joined Instagram and promptly broke the app, and Matthew Perry just joined too. By now, it feels like almost everyone has taken the Insta plunge, but there are still some holdouts that have never tried it out. But if you ask me, every celebrity should be on Instagram. Give the people what they want!! Here are the top celebs who, surprisingly, have still not made an account.

1. Meryl Streep

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FALL 🍁🍂

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For a long time, it made sense that Meryl Streep wasn’t on Instagram. She’s older, she definitely doesn’t need social media to advance her career, and she just feels too classy for a platform that is rife with memes and dildo ads. But now, more and more legendary A-list actresses, like Julia Roberts, Glenn Close, and Candice Bergen, have joined, so Meryl would fit right in. While we wait patiently for her to make an account, at least we can follow @tasteofstreep, an absolutely delightful account dedicated to Photoshopping photos of Meryl onto photos of food. It’s weird, but it works.

2. Mary-Kate And Ashley

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Fun fact – Ashley used to be a brunette for a short while and looked AH-MAZING!!! When the girls were asked about their worst hair mistake by Allure magazine, Ashley menioned this, saying "It just really wasn't great!" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . #marykateolsen #ashleyolsen #olsen #olsentwins #fashion #highfashion #aesthetic #style #streetstyle #elizabethandjames #therow #hairgoals #outfits #bag #twins #mood

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It’s been a long time since our favorite twins have actually wanted to be in the spotlight, so it’s not really surprising that they’ve stayed off Instagram. But still, I feel like they should make an account just for the amazing throwback pictures they must have. In general, I just want to know everything about their lives, but that probably won’t ever happen. Mary-Kate and Ashley have numerous great fan accounts, and I guess that will have to do.

3. Kanye West

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Kanye and I celebrating @riccardotisci17 and presenting him with the Fashion Innovator Award at the @wsj Awards! First pic 📷 @slovekinpics/@shutterstocknow

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If Kanye West had Instagram, it would definitely be a mess, and he would probably get a ton backlash for half of the stuff he posted…but that just makes me want it to happen even more. What can I say, I’m a messy bitch who lives for drama. Actually, Kanye has had Instagram before, and it was a wild f*cking ride full of random art and children that are not his own. I’ve never felt more alive then that one year when Kanye was all over Instagram, and I kinda miss it. Except now, his account would probably just be Bible quotes. On second thought, let’s pass.

4. Amy Adams

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Happy Halloween everyone 🎃👻👸 (that's the heaviest costume you'll see today for sure).

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In a similar vein as Meryl Streep, Amy Adams is a serious actress who has never really dipped her toes into the world of social media, and it makes me sad. Amy is funny, talented, and she must have a ton of famous friends, so the fact that she’s not on Insta just feels like we’re missing out. She’s pretty private, and has said that she doesn’t even think of herself as a celebrity, so I doubt we’ll see her on Instagram soon, but maybe someday.

5. Anna Wintour

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Success is most often achieved by those who don't know that failure is inevitable. @chanelofficial #theannawintour#cocochanel#voguemagazine#condenast#thelook#style#fashion#runway#vogue#chanel#frontrow @condenast @voguemagazine

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Anna Wintour is one of the most influential people in the world, but when it comes to social media, she’s not into it. She’s famously said that she’s never taken a selfie, and I can’t imagine she has any plans to start, but her Instagram would be amazing. She knows basically every celebrity, her travel content would be fire, and can you even imagine the #OOTDs? I’d die.

Images: courteneycoxofficial, tasteofstreep, olsenmoodboard, kimkardashian, itsamyadams, theannawintour / Instagram

Jax Taylor Saw Younes Bendjima At The Gym And Had No Chill About It

As you can probably tell from 90% of the stuff I write on this site, I spend most of my waking hours thinking about celebrities. It’s just a way of life at this point. These days, there’s nothing that gets me more excited than an unexpected celeb connection. Lindsay Lohan hanging out with Tiffany Trump in Mykonos? Sign me up. Miley Cyrus’ little sister Noah dating a SoundCloud rapper whose entire persona is based on Xanax? I’m obsessed. But today, my friends, the celeb connection tea is exceptionally good: Jax Taylor and Younes Bendjima go to the same gym, and Jax has absolutely no chill about it.

And how do we know this? Of course, because Jax saw Younes at the gym and immediately posted an Insta story about it. Here it is, in all its glory:

Let me begin by pointing out that Jax has no clue how capitalization works or how to spell Fiji. Whether it’s the delicious artesian water, the island nation in the South Pacific, or the #1 try-hard frat in America, it’s just never spelled Figi. Also, just to be petty, Diamond Water is something completely different. AND it was started by one of the girls on Shahs of Sunset, which airs on the same network as Vanderpump Rules, so I’m just disappointed in Jax. (Also disappointed in Younes for not having a reusable water bottle #savetheturtles.)

All of my gripes about Jax’s limited knowledge of premium bottled water brands aside, I’m living for the messiness of this Insta story. Here’s the thing. Among real celebrities, I feel like there’s a sort of unspoken code about how you don’t roast your fellow famous people without good reason. Like, if you’re a reality TV star at the gym in West Hollywood and you see another person with over a million followers on Instagram, you’re supposed to just nod your head in their direction and go back to staring at yourself in the mirror. Not Jax Taylor!

Instead, Jax did what us normal people do: pretend we’re taking a selfie so we can actually creepily take a photo of someone more interesting. (Now I’m having a flashback to the time that I tried to take a stealthy photo of a couple going to second base on the subway and the flash was on. After several months of soul-searching, my embarrassment is starting to subside, thanks for asking.) I really don’t have a problem with the fact that Jax took the photo, but the caption is definitely kind of mean. Like, all Younes wants to do is waste a few hours scrolling through his phone at the gym, and Jax is fully making fun of him for getting dumped. I’m sure that Younes isn’t thrilled that he doesn’t get to use Kourtney’s beautiful private gym anymore, but just let him be.

Wait, why am I acting surprised that Jax did something questionable? I never learn.

Really, I highly doubt that Younes will ever see this Insta story. He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who’s into watching stories, and he probably has no clue who Jax Taylor is. Also, I’m sure he’s way too busy with…wait, what does Younes actually do? Sounds like another investigation for another day.

Images: @mrjaxtaylor / Instagram

Is Ariel Winter Getting Her Life Together?

After a few days of intense deliberation (with myself), I have something important to say. I think Ariel Winter might be getting her shit together. There, it’s out in the open now. Our favorite child TV star-turned-Instagram thirst trap (tied with Bella Thorne) is growing up right before our eyes, and dare I say, she doesn’t seem like a total disaster? In the past, there’s been plenty to talk shit about, from her X-rated outfits to her questionable relationship choices to just like, her life as a person. But now, things might be turning around for her. I know you’re probably mad at me right now but please, give me a chance to explain.

First of all, we have to deal with Ariel Winter’s age-inappropriate boyfriend. Just a refresher, he’s Levi Meaden, an actor who was recently in Pacific Rim Uprising (I know, what?), and they’ve been together for about a year and a half. At first, we were all pretty skeptical of their 10-year age difference, because it’s fucking weird for a 28-year-old dude to date an 18-year-old. Like, it’s one thing for the girl who got legally emancipated at age 13 to make some iffy decisions, but what’s his deal?? But as much as the age dynamic makes my skin crawl, they’re like, kind of a cute couple? He looks young, and she dresses like she’s 25, so I guess it’s not that much of a stretch? I mean, Selena Gomez and The Weeknd only lasted 10 months, and I never gave them any shit. I hate myself so much right now. Levi and Ariel have been living together for like a year, which is honestly low-key impressive. Considering I still hate spending the night with anyone unless there’s brunch involved the next day, I guess I’m not in a place to judge. Just kidding, I spend my entire life judging others.

I got them to the Greek (church)!!!!! Χριστός Ανέστη!!!!! ❤️????

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Okay, so Ariel’s love life isn’t a total disaster, I’ll give her that. Let’s discuss her school situation, because it’s a little murkier. Way back in 2016, Ariel got accepted to UCLA, and she was very excited. She decided to defer her enrollment a year, because reasons. She started school back in the fall, but she announced last month that she was taking a break. Now, it’s truly a choice to leave college after just six months. Ariel, wyd? She says she wants to focus on her acting career and have more free time, and like same. I would have loved to drop out of college after one semester, except the only career I had at that point was working at the front desk of the theatre department. I am Ariel, Ariel is me. As questionable as dropping out is, she’s already in an Emmy-winning show, so going to college kind of seems like going back to eat a meal after you already had dessert. Ugh, now I’m hungry.

This brings me to the most important part: Ariel’s outfits *shudders*.  Ariel Winter has made some very, um, intense fashion choices over the past few years, and we’ve roasted her many a time. Never forget the time she wore a fucking Vegas showgirl outfit to the Modern Family premiere, when everyone else was literally wearing jeans. I’m still suffering from secondhand embarrassment, but I think Ariel truly loved the attention. Last year at Coachella, the paper shredder casualty she called a T-shirt just made me sad, but it seems like she’s made some stylistic adjustments as of late. Look at me, acting like she’s a fucking art museum curator.

Coachella '17 feat. Bacon Llama & Cher #fbf #tb

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In her recent Instagrams, Ariel has been going for more of a sultry glam vibe, and I will begrudgingly admit that it’s really working for her. As Miley Cyrus once said (shortly before her own wild phase), it’s the climb. As much as I miss the latex bodycon dresses (mostly, the material they gave me for shit-talking in my group chat), it’s refreshing to see her in pretty outfits that can be sexy without needing NSFW warnings. Finally, I don’t feel like I have to take a shower after scrolling through her Instagram, and for that I am grateful. Did I just say I’m grateful for Ariel Winter? No, no I didn’t, stop twisting my words.

‼️

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The wavy hair and red lip is a seriously good look for her, and I’m exited to see how her style journey evolves next. Oh my god, I just read that back and immediately felt the need to take several shots of vodka. Someone send me a new Instagram thot to shit on ASAP, I can’t handle this. I’m not saying I’m like, obsessed with Ariel Winter or anything, but our favorite physical manifestation of daddy issues has come a long way, and it’s messing with my mind.

Modern Family is ending next year, but maybe Ariel isn’t destined to be forgotten in the graveyard of child stars that went wild? Maybe she’ll go back to UCLA and be a communications major or something boring, but maybe she’ll actually become a real actress that gets cast in things? Is “Academy Award Winner Ariel Winter” something that we’ll have to say in the future? Just shoot me now, this is the end. I don’t want to say I’m rooting for her, but I might be rooting for her. That is, until she shows up next week wearing like, a paper towel as a dress or some shit. This is a confusing time, and I’d appreciate your support while I’m on this soul-searching journey.

Images: arielwinter / Instagram (4)