Ever since AOC pioneered the art of going live while making mac-and-cheese and talking about the need for universal healthcare, young hot politicians have been dipping their toes into the waters of insta story to varying degrees of success. Usually they’re just copying AOC’s model of being cute and making food and talking to constituents in a direct, normal way, but sometimes…sometimes they go too far. And with that I give you 2020 hopeful/certified cutie-pie Beto O’Rourke’s latest story:
Beto is Instagramming his dental cleaning pic.twitter.com/BWyncSW3OK
— andrew kaczynski (@KFILE) January 10, 2019
This, I think we can all agree, is bad. I don’t even want to be at my own dentist’s appointment, let alone yours. You sir, have gone too far. You have strayed from the light, and now all politicians are in danger of going down this dark path. What’s next, Joe Biden posting a play-by-play of his prostate exam? Elizabeth Warren live tweeting her pap? We don’t need this. No one needs this.
And in case you’re wondering, yes, there was a political element to this story. Beto used much of the story to interview his dental hygienist Diana, who talked about her life growing up in El Paso as part of a series Beto has been doing about people who live along the border. And to that I say…okay? Can we not talk to Diana about this in the waiting room? Maybe take Diana out for a post-cleaning coffee? Who legitimately wants to look at this:
Happening now on @BetoORourke’s Insta story: “I’m here at the dentist, and we’re going to continue our series about people who live along the border. My dental hygienist, Diana, is going to tell us about growing up in El Paso.” pic.twitter.com/WsGZ9c9IBD
— Grace Panetta (@grace_panetta) January 10, 2019
Personally, insta story-ing from your dental cleaning and then using it as a chance to “interview” your hygienist about her life on the border feels like the posting a thirst trap but including an inspirational quote of political insta stories.
But don’t worry, Beto. You can totally still get it.
Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!
While Rudy Giuliani doesn’t understand how a link works, millennial congressional queen, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is giving us the Instagram stories our social-media addicted hearts desire. She used her Instagram throughout her campaign as a way to connect with voters, but most of us not in her constituency probably didn’t get hip to this until the other week when she really outdid herself. One blustery November night AOC, turned on some Janelle Monae, heated up some mac-n-and cheese, and went live. History was made.
You’ll talk to your kids about this they was Boomers talk about where they were when the moon landed or whatever. Mike Huckabee wishes he could utilize social media in such a charming way.
AOC has also been using Insta stories to document her first few weeks in Washington, which totally demystifies whatever is going on beneath the intimidating Capitol.
Like did you know that there is a congressional lottery to decide what offices people get each year? That’s literally how we did dorm rooms at my college.
Aside from being very fun to watch, these stories are connecting to younger voters and allowing for a new type of accountability from and connection with our representatives. Like, if I knew Congress gave out swag bags…maybe I would have run for Congress, ya know? AOC is reaching a whole new demographic with these stories and probably inspiring some smart middle school girl to one day get a swag bag of her own.
Check out the saved stories called “Congress” on her profile to watch all of what she’s posted so far. Next, I’d love to see all official voting done by Instagram poll, but this will do for now.
Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!
Anyone who has checked their Facebook App recently (aka everyone on Earth), probably noticed a “new” feature that was actually a fairly old feature for anyone who has ever used Snapchat or Instagram (again, everyone on Earth). “Stories,” otherwise known as the ability to update everyone in video format about every single thing that happens in your life—preferably with the addition of a cute filter or animal ears—have come to Facebook. And now that Facebook Stories are a thing, it is safe to say that stories are officially dead.
Well, maybe not like dead dead, but they are on life support. Like, you might want to make sure to call Stories up one of these days and see how they’re doing because they might not be with us much longer. Flowers could go a long way here, too. Like every good social media idea that has ever existed, once something comes to Facebook, that thing is no longer cool. It’s like, Newton’s 5th law or something like that. Once your mom is doing something, that thing is over. It’s just science.
Now Facebook obviously isn’t the first to steal Snapchat’s original idea. Instagram unveiled stories in the summer of 2016, forcing all of us to choose between Snapchat’s superior filters and Insta’s easier shareability. Like, on the one hand, you’re already taking photos in Instagram anyway, so all your life’s photos can be easily found in one place. On the other hand, Snapchat has the dog face filter.
Decisions, decisions.
This whole “Facebook Stories” thing may have come as a surprise to those of us who thought we basically knew everything Facebook was up to (we check it every day, after all). Turns out Zuck & co have been low-key testing the “stories” feature since August. And while Instagram at least had the decency to leave Snapchat its signature filters, Facebook has no problem fully stealing Snapchat’s idea and offering basically the exact same service Snapchat has offered for years via the Facebook app. So get ready to see your mom, great aunt, and racist uncle slide into your DMs wearing minion glasses, because that’s definitley already started happening.
So what does this mean for our beloved Snapchat? Well, it’s probably not good. TechCrunch reported that Snapchat’s growth slowed by a full 82% after the launch of Instagram stories, which, again, did not even have the fun filters going for them. So basically, greedy-ass Facebook may have just not only killed the “stories” feature, but it may have killed Snapchat entirely. RIP Snap stories. Though you only last 24 hours, you changed all of our lives forever.
