You’ve probably shoved yourself into a trendy pair of jeans, then looked in the mirror and thought, “Damn it, these looked a lot better on Kendall.” Not to make assumptions here, but you probs have a very different bod than a VS Angel, cause TBH, those aren’t that realistic. Honestly, though, it’s not even a matter of whether you’re supermodel-skinny or not. Different styles of jeans are just better suited for different body types. Your bestie might look amaze in one style of jeans, but when you try on that exact same pair… not so much. I blame The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants for setting up unrealistic expectations for trying on jeans. So, instead of beating yourself up, I’ve created a guide to help you figure out what style will flatter your body type the best. No more being personally victimized by the fitting room.
Hourglass
If you’ve been blessed with an hourglass figure, you might as well show off your tiny waist. The best way to do this is with a great pair of high waisted skinny jeans. This style will emphasize your waist and flatter your curves in all the right ways. Channel your inner Scheana Shay Marie and pair it with a crop top to really flaunt your bod.
AGOLDE Roxanne Freeway Super High Rise Skinny Jean
Straight/Rectangle
If you have a straight/rectangular body type, then your ideal jeans are a low-rise relaxed flare look with big pockets. The low-rise fit in combo with the flare will create an illusion of curves while also elongating your legs. To further the look, pick a style with big pockets to make your butt look rounder. In today’s dysfunctional society butt implants are totes an option, but I suggest you just get some big pockets. IDK, just seems a little easier to me. But to each their own, I guess.
Lovers + Friends Bailey Flare Moto Jean
Inverted Triangle
If you’re an inverted triangle shape, meaning you’re wider up top and slimmer on the bottom, then you should totally embrace the always-trendy boyfriend jean. This is one of the hardest styles of jeans to pull off, but luckily for you, you have the ideal body type for it. The baggier fit will balance out your top half. Boyfriend jeans are also an effortless way to make every outfit cooler, so get a pair of boyfriends ASAP.
Pear
If you’re pear shaped, meaning you’re bigger on the bottom and smaller up top, then you’ll look best in a wide-leg jean. The straight-line silhouette will elongate your legs and, when paired with heels, will give you that full legs-for-days supermodel look. Not to mention, these jeans are way more comfy than a pair of suffocating skinnies, so take this as a win.
Free People Martha Wide-Leg Jeans
Knowing how to properly shop for your body type is the determining factor for whether you have a pleasant and successful shopping experience or a soul-crushing, “I’m never eating carbs again” experience. It’s 2018, we’re embracing what we’ve got. I’m OMW to get myself the right pair of jeans and order that cheeseburger at happy hour tonight (and maybe some fries, too).
Images: Mike Von/Unsplash; South Moon Under; Revolve; Madewell; Free People
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Swimwear shopping is the fucking worst. Even Kendall Jenner has tried on a one piece unflattering enough to make her question her entire existence. (Okay, maybe not. IDK, I’m just trying to make us all feel good.) That’s why I hate that “how to get a bikini body” meme that’s like, “step one: put a bikini on your body.” That’s just not how life works. Unless you’re a celebrity that can somehow profit off of indecent exposure when suffering a wardrobe malfunction at the beach, getting the right swimwear for your body is important. Here are the best swimwear styles to outfit your next thirst trap flatter your body.
To Show Off Your Boobs Without Risking A Nip Slip
Rock a simple triangle bikini. Have you ever noticed that Kim Kardashian is almost always wearing a triangle bikini? It’s because it’s the most flattering style for anyone with huge boobs. Bandeaus and other strapless styles just won’t stay up (you lucky bitch). Triangles are also awesome because the classic ties won’t cut into your back the way a top with a clasp would. It kind of sucks to have to worry about potential back fat situations, but it’s what you get for not having to stuff your bra in middle school.
Becca by Rebecca Virtue Triangle Top
Definitely stay away from: Any style with underwire or padding. It will just create extra bulk that you don’t need. Even most triangle bikinis are loaded up with a bunch of padding that can make your boobs a super weird shape, so removing that is probs in your best interest.
To Get People To Comment The Peach Emoji On Your Instagram
Go for a suit with a high leg cut, duh. This silhouette basically does the same thing for your butt as a thong, but it’s a one piece, so it’s not as shameless… if you care about that kind of thing.
Definitely stay away from: Those bottoms that pretty much give you a permawedgie. You know, the scrunchy ones with ruffles and the elastic down the middle? They’re fugly and not even the most flattering design for your butt.
To Celebrate Your Spot In The Itty Bitty Titty Committee
Pick a really cool high neck top. High neck bikini tops can be so tough to pull off, but betches with small boobs can make them look better than anyone else. The tan lines are going to be totally brutal and I really have no way to sugarcoat that, so you’re just going to have to deal with it, I guess.
Rhythm Havana Floral Print High Neck Bikini Top
Definitely stay away from: Triangle tops. IDK, I barely passed geometry, but I’m going to guess that triangles are not the best shape for small boobs.
To Subtly Brag About Your Hourglass Shape
Wear a one piece. Literally almost every single one piece looks amazing on anyone who’s curvy and thankfully there are currently tons of one pieces available at the moment because designers have realized that everyone’s totally obsessed with them. If you have trouble fitting your boobs into one pieces, try one with lace up details or some kind of adjustable fastening down the middle, which will give you some control.
Aila Blue Spirit One Piece Swimsuit
Definitely stay away from: Suits with lots of cutouts. It’s so rare to find one with cutouts that actually reveal the bits of skin you’d like to show off. Opt for a suit with an interesting back design or a plunging neckline to keep it ~scandalous~.
