Scott Disick Is Coming For Chip & Joanna Gaines’ Empire

It’s been a very busy month for the Kardashian Krew (I say as if Kris Jenner doesn’t make damn well sure it wouldn’t be any other way). But while we were all out here paying attention to Kanye’s Sunday service or Kim becoming the next Elle Woods or even Khloe’s latest photo edit abomination, we missed a very big moment for another member of the fam: Scott Disick. I’ll be honest, I haven’t been paying much attention to The Lord lately. It’s like ever since he adopted Sofia Richie as an honorary fourth Disick child, he’s been re-focusing his priorities. Now he’s more of a family man, and less of a drunken f*ckup shoving $100 bills down innocent waiters’ throats. Boooooo. But we’re about to see a lot more from our boy Scottie because, this just in, he has a new real estate reality show coming to E! called Flip it Like Disick. Hold on to your empire, Chip and Joanna, you’ve got some real competition now!

According to E! News, the show is like Fixer Upper but for the stars, and it will showcase Scott Disick’s “passion for luxury real estate and house flipping.” That’s right, the man who once said “I’m a big star, I don’t need to be dealing with you peasants” is essentially going to take on the role of the help and fix up his famous friends’ houses. K.

And for those of you who thought Scott Disick’s talents were more in the realm of riding on the coattails of his ex-girlfriend’s fame and drinking on private planes than flipping houses, then you’re not wrong shame on you! Apparently The Lord has been dabbling in property development for years. And let’s not forget his brief stint as a handy man on KUWTK after Kourtney asked for more romance in their sex life, so Scott pretended to be Noah from The Notebook and almost destroyed the roof of her house.

Do we think they’ll include this scene in the series trailer?

But of course, Scott won’t be taking on this new business venture alone. He’s assembled a crack team to help him flip the homes of Kris’s least favorite famous friends. In addition to a man who refers to himself as the second coming of Jesus Christ Scott, the Flip It Like Disick team will also consist of Scott’s BFF Benny Luciano, contractor Miki Moor, veteran assistant Lindsay Diamond, and former pop singer-turned-interior designer Willa Ford. I’m going to save you all the Google search and let you know that none of these people are of any importance, save for Willa Ford, whose iconic song “I Wanna Be Bad” was featured in the Amanda Bynes classic What A Girl Wants, and was also the song 10-year-old me sang in the shower every damn day, much to my mother’s growing horror. This is the comeback we need in 2019. Just saying.

Not only will Scott and his team be taking on celebrity projects, but I’m told they’ll also be taking on the highly classified and v intense job of re-decorating his children’s playhouse! Tbh I love where he sets his bar. I mean, why make the stakes high for your first job when you can make the stakes somewhere around just being judged by children—and ones who are genetically obligated to praise you no less! I applaud your shamelessness, Scott. Bravo. 

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All the way up with my little reign

A post shared by Scott Disick (@letthelordbewithyou) on

While, on the one hand, I’m happy Scott will finally be getting out of the Kardashian-Jenner shadow, this sudden career move does make me wonder if Scott and Kourtney have somehow fallen on hard times? Do we think, like, they actually need the money from this show or something? I, mean, Kourt only makes a casual $35 million a year, and Scott makes whatever ends up in the tip jar after his club promotions. And we all know Poosh was a real Hail Mary for her to begin with! Scott, Kourt, anything you want to tell us??

All jokes aside, I’m thrilled we’ll be seeing more from the Lord Scott Disick. The memes I’ve been sending in my group chat were getting a little bit stale anyways. Flip It Like Disick will premiere sometime this summer, and will consist of 8 hour-long episodes, so feel free to mark your calendars, like, right f*cking now.

Images: Giphy (2); @letthelordbewithyou / Instagram

Sofia Richie Dumped Scott Disick For Reasons That Should Shock No One

Well, that took longer than I expected. After nearly a year of dating, Scott Disick and Sofia Richie broke up. Aw. Normally I’d pretend to be at least 10% sad for them, but I have a strong feeling everyone here is going to be fine. While this relationship burned bright, it flamed out exactly the way you probably expected: Scott Disick couldn’t keep his dick in his pants (allegedly). Sources say that Sofia finally broke up with Scott after numerous cheating allegations, including that he was engaging in PDA with another woman at Kanye’s album listening party last week. Oh Scott, you really never change.

The Kanye party thing might have been the last straw, but there was trouble in Calabasas long before Kanye invited the world’s most random assortment of people to Wyoming for an orgy listening party. Scott reportedly also cheated on Sofia in Miami, which is when she first found out about the infidelity. Homegirl was obviously not thrilled, but naturally her dad was the one who got really pissed. Lionel Richie has never been Scott’s biggest fan, and he was not fucking having it this time. A source said he threatened to cut Sofia off and write her out of his will if she didn’t dump him. Okay, so I have now decided that Lionel Richie is my idol.

Same, Lionel Richie, same

Sofia did the smart thing here and took the money. She could definitely support herself with her modeling work if she needed to, but honestly, would you want to? Lionel Richie’s net worth is estimated at $200 million, and Sofia would be an absolute idiot to give up her chunk of that. I really hope her big sister Nicole Richie left her an angry voicemail about this, but in the absence of any confirmation, I’ll just have to fantasize about it.

The split comes just a week after Sofia wished Scott a happy birthday on Instagram, but life moves fast when you’re in a Kardashian-adjacent relationship. In case you were wondering how Scott is doing, another anonymous source cleared that up for us: “Scott seems fine. He even thinks she might change her mind. He isn’t really taking it seriously.” Wow, good to know that Scott is still 150% that asshole we’ve always known he is. Honestly though, why does any girl in LA agree to go on more than three dates with him? Attention, ladies of Calabasas and the world: IT WON’T END WELL.

Happy Birthday babe! Thank you for being you. Love you

A post shared by Sofia Richie (@sofiarichie) on

I have a feeling Sofia is probably a little more upset about the breakup than our resident fuckboy Scott, but I have faith that she’ll be okay too. She’s still only 19 years old, and hot, and rich. Yeah, she’ll be fine by next week. If she really needs someone to talk to, maybe she and Bella Thorne can start a book club for underage Scott Disick exes. I would watch the fuck out of that reality show, @andycohen.

Images: Getty Images; Giphy; sofiarichie / Instagram