Healthy Post-Workout Snacks That Won’t Undo All Your Progress

I don’t know about you, but I literally always feel the need to reward myself with at least 36 burritos and 75 margaritas after a good, hard workout. Unfortunately, I have to force myself not to be the fat f*ck I truly am at heart, because I don’t want to reverse all of the time and energy I just put in at the gym. Instead, I save my money and keep my waistline at bay by fixing up some healthy post-workout snacks at home.

Here are four healthy post-workout snacks for when you’re super hungry after exercising but don’t want to eat anything that makes you feel heavy like you didn’t just bust your ass at the gym.

1. Avocado Toast

Avocados are the f*cking best, especially when they’re slapped on top of some carbs. My favorite avocado toast recipe is super simple to make. All you need to do is mash up half of an organic avocado, spread it on a slice of toasted 10-grain bread, then top it with red pepper flakes, sesame seeds, hemp seeds, turmeric powder, Himalayan pink sea salt, and fresh lime juice. Top it however you want to, but this is my number one go-to snack to eat after a killer class.

2. Protein Shake

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking… protein shakes are trash. Sure, some of them are gross, but they can actually be pretty damn good and nutritional if you use the right ingredients and protein powder. Mix an all-natural plant-based protein powder in vanilla or chocolate with fruits and veggies that complement the powder flavor you choose. I personally use less water in mine because I think thicker shakes are way more filling than loose, watered-down shakes, but you do you, boo.

3. Bananas With Peanut Or Almond Butter

Bananas are high in electrolytes, low in calories, and extremely delicious, making them a kick-ass post-workout snack. Just cut a banana in half and dress each side with 1-2 tablespoons of peanut or almond butter, which serves as the missing protein and healthy fat components that will replenish your body after sweating to death. If you’re feeling fancy, throw some granola on that b*tch.

Pro tip: Coat the banana with the nut butter of your choice and a dark chocolate drizzle, then throw it in the freezer before you head out to exercise. You’ll come home to a cold, ready-to-eat treat that feels like a magical dessert in your mouth.

4. Açai Bowl With Nut Butter

I didn’t realize how nasty the phrase “nut butter” sounded until I just wrote it. Anyway, açai bowls are said to be the perfect thing to eat after working out for many reasons. Although they’re high in natural sugar, because they’re full of fruit (duh), açai bowls are literally super-food bowls packed with antioxidants that boost your energy level. Depending on which type of nut you like best, top your bowl with some butter, and enjoy.

After eating any of these post-workout snacks, you should feel full enough to push back your taco and margarita cravings until cheat day. If you’re still hungry, make another serving of your healthy snack option or just say “f*ck it” and go reward yourself at your local Mexican restaurant. At least you worked out today. You can always try again tomorrow.

Healthy Snacks That Keep You Full Without Causing Bloating

Food—the cause and solution to all my work dilemmas. Keeping snacks on hand (i.e. stuffed into my mini fridge and filing cabinet) ensures that I’m less likely to hunt for free doughnuts or cookies once 2pm rolls around. Also, stashing them away allows me to snack in secret, leaving my coworkers wondering how I got so pretty and skinny when they never see me eat. You, too, can experience the excellence that comes with snacking without regret (and without being hungry in two hours). These are my favorite snacks that keep you full, but without making you feel bloated, tired, or all-around shitty afterwards. Time to head to your local grocery store and stock up.

1. Greek Yogurt With Berries

You’re really out of touch if you aren’t already singing the praises of Greek yogurt. When the 2pm hangries hit, go ahead and reach for a serving of Greek yogurt topped with blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, or some combo. The protein and calcium from the yogurt will keep you full while the berries provide antioxidants for your glowing complexion.

2. Hummus And Carrots

Duh. Keeping hummus and celery or carrots in your work mini fridge makes you seem fit and betchy. Hummus has lots of protein, and carrots have very few calories but lots of vitamins. It’s a solid mix of protein and fiber—perfect for keeping your fingers out of the free doughnut box.


3. Roasted Edamame

Eating this in the office may make you look kinda weird, but the full feeling and health benefits are totes worth it. According to Reader’s Digest (because I’m an 85-year-old man who loves puzzles and this shitty magazine), edamame contains calcium, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium, folate, vitamins C, E, and B6, plus a lot more shit that I don’t feel like typing. Plus, ¼ cup is only about 130 calories, 8 grams of fiber, and 14 grams of protein—all of which will keep you full until you can order Domino’s.

4. Almonds

Wasabi! BBQ! Soy sauce! Cinnamon! Your almonds don’t have to be shitty and boring—you can either flavor them yourself or grab a small serving pack of them literally anywhere. They’re nutritionally dense and will keep you hella full while you put off doing that spreadsheet for the fourth time.


5. Roasted Chickpeas

Are you too good for hummus? If so, try roasting your chickpeas instead of blending them into the betch food pyramid cornerstone we all know and love. They’re crunchy, you can flavor them however you choose, and about ¼ cup of them is only about 120 calories. You can also grab them from places like Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s where someone has already lovingly roasted them for you.

6. Jerky

I don’t care what you say, jerky is a fantastic food to keep in your desk when you’re hungry and sad. There’s quite a bit of protein to be had, and if you buy a good and bougie variety, there may be very little in the way of artificial flavors, additives, etc.

7. Hard-Boiled Eggs

Nothing says “I’m hopeless, but at least I’m fit” like shoving a hard-boiled egg into your mouth around 2:15pm on a Tuesday, LOL AMIRITE. But seriously, eggs are a great source of protein and are only about 90 calories each. So either eat a whole hard-boiled egg, or chop it up and put it on a piece of whole wheat toast for a more normal (and satisfying) midday snack that won’t result in hunger an hour later.

8. Dark Chocolate

Thank you, God! Three squares of dark chocolate (or even five or six dark chocolate Hershey’s Kisses) can help regulate your stress hormones, which, honestly, are probs part of why you’re hungry anyway. Plus, dark chocolate has antioxidants and usually lower sugar than the more common milk variety.

9. Pickles

Again, if you really want to just weird out your coworkers (sign me up), dive into a jar of pickles every day at the exact same time. They only have 16 calories per cup, which means you can def eat the whole jar or play “how many can I fit in my mouth” with three to six of them at a time. Since pickles are (spoiler alert) just cucumbers soaked in vinegar, the water content will keep you full and stop your salt cravings.

Images: Anastasia Zhenina, Unsplash; Giphy (8)