How Not To Be A D*ck When Coming Out Of Quarantine

After 95694845 days of quarantine (I lost count), our collective #QuarantineClub efforts have not been in vain. And now I’m actually seeing other humans IRL (yay!) out and about. We’re getting our lives back in this so-called “new normal” and cautiously doing all right in Phase 3 with non-essential businesses opening up. Parts of New York are allegedly even entering Phase 4, but that seems too good to be true.

The light at the end of the tunnel seems to be within our reach, but remember—it’s a marathon, not a sprint. All things considered, we can keep up our momentum so long as a few bad apples don’t f*ck over the entire cart. Unfortunately, parts of the U.S. are experiencing just that—sheer amounts of stupidity (i.e. COVID-19 parties… seriously, WTF Alabama??).

Extreme cases aside, I understand that at this point, you’re saying to yourself “omg, I’m so over COVID-19. O-VeR. IT.” And I get it. 2020 is canceled. The pandemic was not exactly what we wanted for summer. But think about how the frontline workers must feel? My close friend Mira MacLeod, a Registered Nurse who works in the COVID-19 ward of a major Toronto hospital (which was also the same converted facility used to treat the first SARS patients) said, “hell (lol) I’M OVeR IT. If anyone has COVID fatigue, it’s me, girl.” 

So for her sake and for every one of these caregiving heroes, when it comes to our collective health, reckless behavior is inexcusable. In fact, it’s NOT okay when you decide to be a d*ck by not wearing a mask in a shared public space and jeopardize the lives of others. Additionally, I honestly feel like the warm weather must be frying off some of the common sense in some people’s brains. I guess when you throw sunny skies and balmy weather into the mix, it’s like everyone suddenly forgot that there’s still a deadly pandemic in our presence which, may I remind you, still has the power to come back to bite us again (like it did to South Korea and their second wave) and force us back into our homes.

In light of people filling up their social calendars once again and taking to the city streets, the Department of Health released some guidelines on how we can all be safe when gathering together and dining out. However, what these documents neglect to state or inform us about is how the heck these rules will be consistently enforced. Mayor Bill de Blasio is essentially telling us all of this is based on “trust” and calling people out when you see them breaking the rules. Basically like “if you see something, say something.” While that’s definitely one way of approaching it, despite reporting the situation, the damage will have already been done.

Dr. Sidney Chiu, an emergency doctor at North York General Hospital, reminds us that we must each do our part and continue to take initiatives in safeguarding our community. Furthermore, we made it this far in flattening the curve—let’s not f*ck it up folks! Here are useful guidelines to keep in mind:

When In Doubt, Wear A Mask

MacLeod says that if you want to be safe, you should wear a mask indoors—even if the business doesn’t state that it’s mandatory. “You should be wearing one in confined spaces like at the grocery store, on the transit system, or at a retail store—places where you’re touching a lot of things.” You should be wearing disposable rubber and/or plastic gloves for this as well (think clothing items, transit railing, etc).

Wear A Mask When Walking On The Sidewalk

MacLeod says her major pet peeve is when people don’t walk around each other on the sidewalk: “It irks me that some just don’t care and/or take liberties. They walk by you in close proximity, and this is particularly troublesome when there are small children nearby.” As a mom of two kids, this is especially triggering for her. So she advises that when you see someone approaching, go around them, if you can. Remember, social distancing means you should be six feet apart, which is further than you think.

There Is Still NO Vaccine

“Just based on how I’m seeing some people behave, I think many believe that the pandemic has mostly passed—and that’s certainly not the situation. The reality is that although we’ve passed the first wave, we are constantly at risk of new cases,” MacLeod says. She adds that precautionary measures should be as routine as checking for your wallet, phone and keys before leaving the house. “A mask, disposable gloves, hand sanitizer (making sure that it contains 60-95 percent alcohol), and disinfecting wipes should all be a part of your ‘toolkit,’” which means that these items should be considered part of your “new normal” for the foreseeable future. If you’re forgetful, a good strategy is to set up a daily pop-up alert on your phone to remind yourself of these essential items. Or consider keeping it all in a stylish bag near your door. 

No Hugging Or Shaking Hands

“This is tough, understandably, because we are by nature, social creatures,” explains Dr. Chiu.  He adds that “in lieu of physical touching, air hugs/air high fives, or toe tapping is better than exposing any part of your body to someone else. You just don’t want to run the risk.” As a friendly reminder, he says that COVID-19 is spread through droplets and/or physical contact. “Just think that when you’re embracing someone and that close face-to-face, any number of things could happen: coughing, sneezing—even talking and breathing could aid in transmission.” He adds that what could then theoretically occur is that even though it appears that “nothing happened” during the hug, since you effectively touched that person, you could then absentmindedly touch your mouth, nose and eyes, thereby spreading the virus.

Just Because They “Look Healthy” Doesn’t Mean They Are

“We always assume there are obvious visual cues to someone being ill. However this is certainly not the case when someone is asymptomatic and can transmit the virus to you,” says Dr. Chiu, who adds that these individuals may not even be aware they have COVID-19. “So for your sake, it’s better to err on the side of caution and to wear a mask whatever the social situation may be.” Another scary and not-so-fun fact from him: “the chance of a test detecting COVID-19 is very low if you are asymptomatic, and it is unlikely to be helpful in determining if you have COVID-19 if you have zero symptoms.”

Invest In Anti-Technology For Your Sunnies

Dr. Chiu says that “I’ve heard some people complain about their sun/glasses getting fogged up due to the mask wearing.” To remedy this, he says to do the following: “mold your mask to the bridge of your nose, tighten the mask, or simply invest in some anti-fog spray or wipes which will do the trick nicely (and you should be prepping all of this before you leave your home).” This is an overlooked issue but an important one, and he explains that “you want to minimize the amount of time touching your face. If your glasses are fogged/smudged, etc and you’re constantly readjusting them, you’re increasing your chances of exposure.”

Invest In An Automatic Soap Dispenser

When returning home, immediately wash your hands with hot soapy water before doing anything else (the CDC advises you do this within 20 seconds of entering your home.). To avoid contamination, MacLeod advises people to get one of those automated hand soap dispensers.” Additionally, she says that bar soaps are a big no-no because bacteria and germs CAN survive on them (ewwww).

And in terms of venturing out in the world à la Oh, The Places You’ll Go Post-Pandemic (!), here are a few tips and best practices to be mindful of in the following social scenarios:

Restaurants/Patios

If available to you, always opt to use the restaurant’s QR code, which allows you to see the menu on your smartphone rather than touching paper. An exception to this is if you have a visual impairment and require a hard copy.

Wearing a mask while dining in a patio/restaurant space isn’t required (cuz um, how else can you eat that food if your mouth is covered?!); however, you should absolutely wear one when walking to your table and using well-ventilated washroom facilities (which are 99% of the time located inside of a confined restaurant space). 

Another food-related issue is regarding pick-up and take-out: you just grab the order and go. Don’t linger and/or congregate on the sidewalks.

Hosting Gatherings/Cookouts

The CDC recommends that if you’re welcoming people into your home for, say, a BBQ cookout (specifically an outdoor space like the backyard) to consider keeping a guestbook of attendees for contact tracing needs. Disposable but recycle-friendly cutlery, plates, and cups should be used in lieu of the silverware you have at home.

Parks/Beaches/Outdoor Venues

Both Dr. Chiu and MacLeod say that if you can, visit these spaces on a weekday when it’s less crowded. “Because it’s an outdoor setting, it’s technically safer than, say, a shopping mall because these types of places are conducive to offering more room and fresh air.” For any communal seating (such as park benches and beach chairs), use hand sanitizer and disinfectant wipes prior to use. 

Individual Appointments (Including, But Not Limited To, Dental And Medical Offices, Nail Salons, And Hair Salons)

Ensure that it’s not a walk-in situation, and whenever possible, book your appointment in advance. If you’re feeling uncertain, ask what sorts of protocols the business or service has implemented, such as adequate HEPA filters/ventilation, PPEs, and plexiglass barriers to minimize the risk of exposure. When you do arrive for your appointment, wait outside and arrange for the staff to text or give you a call when they’re ready for you. Lastly, if you know you have to fill out any documentation, bring your own pen—don’t use the communal ones supplied at the office/salon. 

Final Thoughts

With all the news and Karen-shaming, I’d like to think that the majority of us are better than that. However, we’re all human and can still be prone to slipping up once in a while. So I recommend screenshotting this handy color-coded infographic to act as your “pocket guide” if you are ever uncertain about venturing into a specific social situation. It’s nice that we can FINALLY see our loved ones IRL again, so let’s not take any of it for granted and remember to be considerate of each other by adhering to these practical and safe protocols.

Images: Gustavo Fring / Pexels; Giphy (2); Twitter / @saltymamas

The Absolute Worst Wellness Trends Of The Past Decade

It’s no secret that we live in a society obsessed with wellness. According to one statistic, the global wellness market is estimated to reach $4.75 trillion in 2019. And while some wellness trends are genuinely beneficial, plenty are complete and utter bullsh*t. Read on for some of the worst wellness trends over the last 10 years.

2010: The Shake Weight

It’s hard to believe that just ten years ago, millions of people thought they could outsmart common sense science and lose weight by remaining sedentary and holding an oscillating weight for a few minutes each day. *Sigh* a girl can dream. Despite the claim that the Shake Weight can provide a total upper-body workout “in only 6 minutes per day,” this is highly unlikely. What it will do is make the holder look like they’re giving a hand job to a disembodied robot dick.

2011: HCG Diet

The HCG Diet involves taking the hormone HCG, eating a 500-700 calorie diet (not a typo) and forgoing exercise altogether, all for almost a month. There’s way too much to unpack here. First, altering your hormones is far from casual and should be a larger decision made under the care of a doctor. But even without that element, the diet is absolutely insane. The average woman needs to consume 2,000 calories per day to maintain weight and 1,500 calories to lose one pound per week. While these figures are obviously not one size fits all, suggesting that a person should eat one-third or half that amount is not sustainable and frankly, is probably starvation. And no exercise at all? Something’s not adding up here.

2012: Raw Food Diet

Not even Smith Jerrod could convince me to try this farce of a diet. Adoptees eat a diet, usually only plant-based, consisting of completely raw (that is, never heated over 104-118°F or 40-48°C) and unprocessed foods. I could eat 100 pounds of raw carrots and still be starving, so I do not understand how this diet is sustainable for more than one meal. If that weren’t unappealing enough, experts say that all of the slicing and dicing required to prepare raw foods actually strips them of many of the nutrients that proponents of the diet claim are lost to traditional cooking methods. Hard pass.

2013: Open Bar Gyms

I’m not here to ruin your good time on this one. In fact, I’m the first person to crave a cold, hard glass of Chardonnay after a moderately difficult grueling workout class. So why not save yourself the trip and have a one-stop shop in your gym? The issue is that alcohol decreases the level of glycogen in your muscles, which creates the energy the muscles need to repair and strengthen themselves, not to mention increase your metabolism. I guess there’s a reason most gyms don’t have a vodka fountain, and it’s because alcohol basically sabotages your workout. So as tempting as it might be to toss one back immediately after barre, opt for some water instead.

2014: Hot Exercise

We all have that one friend who swears by hot yoga and insists that she “doesn’t feel like she’s getting a real workout” unless she leaves the class in a pool of her own sweat. Unfortunately, these hot classes can do more harm than good. While many hot exercise classes turn the heat upwards of 100 degrees, the American College of Sports Medicine recommends temperatures between 68° and 72° F degrees for athletic facilities. In other words, there’s really no reason to make the room that hot, except for the false perception that you got a great workout because you sweated out half your water weight. Then there’s the risk of dehydration, heatstroke, and heat exhaustion. I’ll stick with my normal temperature yoga, TYVM.

2015: Vaginal Steaming

This list wouldn’t be complete without an entry from our favorite pseudo-medical professional wellness expert, Gwyneth Paltrow. In 2015, she recommended that women steam their vaginas, claiming “It is an energetic release—not just a steam douche—that balances female hormone levels.” The hormone claim is patently false. But that’s the least of the troubles with this bogus trend. First and foremost, the vagina doesn’t need help regulating itself. Second, steaming raises body temperature, opening the door for unwanted bacteria and yeast and poor lubrication. No thanks. And finally there’s the risk of, you know, burning your cooch. As with most things Gwyneth says, you should probably ignore this one.

2016: Detox Teas

Detox teas are yet another product of dubious efficacy shilled by celebrities and, in this case, Bachelor rejects, Kardashian-Jenners, and Real Housewives. Funnily enough, none of the #ads promoting these products show the user sitting on the toilet, even though that’s where these teas will take you. As we’ve explained before, detox teas are essentially liquid laxatives, and prolonged use can cause diarrhea, cramps, dysfunction of the bowels, and dependence on the laxatives. Yikes.

2017: Activated Charcoal

I’ve never really understood this one. The idea of drinking a black smoothie, or worse, brushing my teeth with black toothpaste never really held much appeal. I can kind of see where we went wrong with thinking this would be a wellness product, since activated charcoal is most commonly used in the case of an overdose because of its ability to absorb toxins. But as far as its detoxing properties go, there’s no need to use it to filter out toxins because we have kidneys and a liver to do exactly that. There’s also no clear evidence that it whitens teeth, clears acne, or controls odors. Even worse, it can reduce the effectiveness of certain medications. So basically, it makes you look demonic in pictures and that’s about all we can guarantee.

2018: Colonics

Continuing the theme of completely unnecessary detoxing procedures is colonics, popularized by, you guessed it, the GOOP-meister herself. Colonics are procedures that flush your colon with water in an effort to detox the body. As we’ve covered above, our bodies are more than capable of purging themselves of toxins without any outside help. In addition, colonics can cause cramping, vomiting, electrolyte imbalance, rectal tears and even death. Just a few more reasons to spare your butthole.

2019: Vaping

Despite the douche factor, as vaping began trending, it was thought to be a healthier alternative to smoking. And when used as a means to quit cigarettes and other tobacco products, it may be effective, though it hasn’t been approved by the FDA for this purpose. We are, however, starting to see its risks. Just a month ago, a study found that Juul e-cigarettes deliver nicotine similarly to regular cigarettes. Considering that teenagers are some of the biggest users of e-cigarettes, this raises the concern that e-cigarettes are creating a whole new customer base of nicotine addicts, some of whom will eventually either turn to regular cigarettes or supplement their vaping with smoking. Then there’s the potential link between vaping and lung disease, and the instances of people who have ended up in the hospital because of vaping. While there’s still a lot we don’t know, it’s safe to say that vaping is far from the miracle it was originally thought to be (and still incredibly douchey).

If this list is any indication, our collective obsession with wellness, no matter how absurd, will continue for many decades to come. What other ridiculous wellness trends have you noticed over the past decade? Sound off in the comments!

Images: Shutterstock; Giphy (10)

A Personal Trainer’s Guide To Staying Fit While Traveling

If you guys have stuck to your resolution to stay fit/get healthy/tone up/etc. for THIS long… congratu-f*cking-lations. You’ve outdone probably 95% of the general population. I am here to help you stick to this resolution, because let’s face it: you still have 10 months to go. While sticking to healthy habits get easier over time… life, like a horrendous mother-in-law, will always try to find ways to make things hard for you.

As a personal trainer, a lot of complaints I’ve heard from clients is they fall off track when they have to travel or circumstances come up where they can’t stick to their normal routine. In the first few weeks, having a steady routine is key, but you’re not a boring bitch. You’re not under house arrest (I hope) and you deserve a little vacay, goddammit. So just because you’re on a bomb body mission, I’m not gonna let you say no to these “business” (yea right, but I’ll play along) trips or vacations just because we’re trying to lose three pounds. Here are my tried-and-true tips for keeping your diet while you’re on vacation.

1. Do Your Research

Does your hotel have a gym? Does your room have a fridge and microwave? What are some active tourist activities you can do? Look at the hotel restaurant menus, see what your best choices are. Google dining options nearby, and find a grocery store nearby to stock up on fruit/nuts/etc. (room service fruit is usually mediocre at best and ridiculously overpriced).

2. Pack Activewear

Always, always, always pack your gym clothes. This way you can’t use the excuse that you didn’t bring workout clothes or sneakers—and honestly, even if you don’t end up hitting the gym (no judgements here), you can wear the clothes on a regular day or on a travel day. I can’t tell you how many times gym clothes have come in handy for me on other non-gym related occasions.

3. Pack An At-Home Gym Kit

Bring booty bands, resistance bands (the ones with handles), gliders, and a jump rope. This way, you can fit in a workout in your hotel room. If you don’t have gliders, you can use little hand towels, but if your hotel room is carpeted it’s gonna be a little rough. I’ve done a full-blown hour-long circuit before (see below) with just these three equipments and body weight moves. Bringing your own equipment will also give you more exercise options in a sparse hotel gym.

4. Add Consistency When You Can

This is probably going to end up being diet related if you’re traveling. Whether it’s having the same breakfast or having a general theme to stick to for dinner (fish/seafood and greens is a great one), having some kind of consistency in your day-to-day will help you feel less stressed and frazzled when traveling.

5. Walk Where You Can

This is amazing for people visiting walk-friendly areas such as New York, Europe, and the UK. Cities that revolve around walking are amazing for helping you stay active while traveling. Soak in the sights and get those steps in. Many large cities in Europe will have guided walking tours, which are also great for safety reasons, so you’re not just stranded in a f*cking foreign country.

6. Plan Active Activities

Of course this will depend on your trip destination, but if you can… take the workout outside! Plan a guided hike, a kayak adventure, ziplining, ATV riding, etc. it’s a great way to make the most of your trip and also stay active.

7. Make Good Food Choices

Make Good Choices

If you’re in an exotic location, food is a HUGE part of new cultures and new experiences. Try everything, but the keyword: TRY. That’s like 3 bites. “Try” does not mean eat all of everything. If you’re traveling domestic or the local cuisine is more been there, done that, I suggest customizing the f*ck out of your food. Be that girl. The “I’ll have the sea bass, cooked in no butter and sauce on the side” girl. In fact, you should be that girl every time you eat out, travel or no travel. Restaurants don’t care about your resolutions, so you just have to make it work for you. Trust me, they see crazy sh*t all the time, you being specific about your food is SO not a big deal. 3 main tips for eating out: skip the bread basket, salads always ordered with dressing on the side, and nothing fried.

8. Do This Full Body Circuit

 

This is 10 minutes. Repeat as many times as you want.

Images: @CurtisMacNewton/Unsplash, Giphy (3).

The Top Exercise Myths You’re Buying Into & Why They’re B.S.

If there’s one thing a betch is great at, it’s excuses. Creating the perfect escape plan for any situation on the fly is second nature. That is especially true when it comes to living a healthy lifestyle. Like, who among us hasn’t said “yeah, I took six tequila shots and did a line of coke last night, but I ate egg whites and avocado for breakfast, so it’s fine”? This week on our Diet Starts Tomorrow podcast, we sat down with trainer, Power Lifter, and owner of Syatt Fitness, Jordan Syatt, to get real about reasons we’re not living a healthy life. Here are the classic six excuses we use, and why they’re ultimately crap:

1. “I Do High-Intensity Workouts Less Often”

If you’ve had a near-death experience at Orange Theory, you’re likely aware the HIIT, or high-intensity interval workouts, are all the rage right now. Most of their marketing is that you can work out for like, 20 minutes and then continue to burn calories 48 hours after. While Syatt says this is true, it’s not necessarily better: “being consistent for a long time is always going to be better than being intense for a short period of time.” So yeah, you may have gone to Barry’s Bootcamp once, but if you don’t go consistently, you might be better off just walking on the treadmill five times a week.

2. “I’m Too Insecure To Go To The Gym”

Aren’t we all? Like seriously. As the title of this episode goes, “the gym is a room full of insecure people.” No one is there judging you, cause likely they’re in the same boat. This is the number one concern that Syatt gets posed with, which literally means everyone’s thinking the same thing. Syatt explains: “for me, would I look back at my life when I’m 90 years old and I’m like sitting at home with a diaper on and sh*t in my pants, am I going to look back and be like ‘wow I’m really glad I didn’t go to the gym because Joe Fuckstick might’ve judged me’, right?” Right. So get over yourself and go be with a bunch of other insecure people dropping their weights and falling off the treadmill.

3. “I’m Not Doing It Right”

Not having a trainer to whip you into shape guide you is not an excuse. You have like, Google. You can search for any moves online and there is likely a tutorial for them. Syatt suggests setting up your phone and filming yourself do a certain move, then comparing your form to someone online. Then if you look really hot, post it on your Instagram—just kidding, don’t be that girl.

4. “I Haven’t Eaten Healthy or Worked Out In So Long, What’s The Point Now?”

Syatt’s response, “A lot of the times, people use guilt as a means to validate not doing something.” Okay true, why don’t you just @ me next time. But seriously, drowning yourself in pity and pizza doesn’t get you anywhere. Syatt says the very first thing his clients hear from him is that “you can’t f*ck up.” By saying this, it takes away the chance for you to feel guilty for not going to the gym or eating an entire cake by yourself. You’re an adult (ish) and have the ability to make your own choices. Don’t focus on what you didn’t do. “If you want to be lazy, be the laziest f*ck you could possibly be and enjoy that time,” Syatt explains. “But when it’s time to work out, go crush your workout.”

5. “I Just Have A Slow Metabolism”

Okay, for starters, do you even know what a metabolism is? Probably not. There are very few people who have a metabolic disorder, and in the words of Syatt, “You don’t have a metabolism problem; you have an eating a f*ck ton of food problem.” I’m being targeted. But basically what Syatt is getting at is that metabolism depends on how much you move in a day and how much muscle you have. If you lie in bed watching Netflix all day, yeah, you’re probably not losing any weight. You don’t have a sh*tty metabolism, though—you’re sh*tty at moving. Even just walking can help your metabolism function as it properly should.

6. “I Only Lose Weight Doing Detoxes”

There is nothing worse than preachy teatox campaigns that make you sh*t your brains out. And what f*cking toxins? Syatt explains that your body is literally built to remove toxins. What do you think your entire digestive system is for anyway? You don’t need someone’s unregulated mystery bag of tea flushing out your insides. You can do that all on your own with your liver and kidneys. Detoxes can also be super restrictive, which can have dangerous consequences and promote bad eating habits (like starving yourself all day then eating three bags of Chex Mix under your covers crying—totally random example). And do you really want to live your life not eating? You’re missing out on like, all the fun.

So, it’s unfortunate, but your excuses have run out. It’s time to haul your ass out of bed and stop throwing a pity party for yourself about all the reasons you can’t. You can do this, and even if you don’t believe in yourself, Syatt has enough confidence for us all to share.

Listen to the rest of our interview with Jordan Syatt on our Diet Starts Tomorrow podcast.

Images: Giphy (6); Unsplash/Juan Pablo Rodriguez

5 Ways To Cook Kale

Ugh, kale. Like starting our 401k, getting yearly physicals, and reading CNN, we know deep down that it’s good for us, but actually getting to it sucks. It’s bland, it’s blah, and whoever eats it plain and steamed is seriously disturbed. Kale crept into our psyche several years ago, and since then it’s been assaulting us with its dark green leafy-ness and ability to be in everything from our smoothies to our salads. It probably has something to do with the insane amount of nutrients in this shit—one cup contains about 33 calories, 3 grams of protein, 2.5 grams of fiber, vitamins A, C, and K, folate, omega-3 fatty acids, and several nutrients that are proven to protect against macular degeneration and cataracts. Plus it has calcium, zinc, potassium, and phosphorus, so it’s a fucking nerd overachiever all around.

In the interest of being responsible (told you, mom) we rounded up five easy ways to cook kale this shit without driving yourself insane—so embrace the kale in all its rubbery goodness and be healthy for like, at least this afternoon.

1. Add It To Your Smoothie

If you aren’t already doing this, fucking duh. Blend together ½ banana, ½ cup chopped kale, ½ cup blueberries. ½ cup plain Greek yogurt, and ½ tsp cinnamon. You can like, add protein powder if you’re that kind of person, too.

2. Make An Egg And Kale Scramble

In a bowl, whisk 2 eggs, salt, pepper, and ½ tbsp. of water. In a medium skillet sprayed with nonstick, add half a chopped shallot and stir until golden, then throw in about 1 ¾ cup chopped kale leaves and cook until it’s wilty and shit. Add in the whisked egg mixture and ¼ cup cheddar cheese, then mix until the eggs have set. I assume you’ve made fucking scrambled eggs before.

3. Make It Into A Healthier Pesto

Grab your handy-dandy food processor and combine 1 ½ cups packed torn kale leaves, ¼ cup walnuts, ¼ cup shredded parmesan cheese, 1 tbsp fresh lemon juice, and 2 garlic cloves. Process until totally smooth, then season with salt and pepper. Use this shit on pasta, as a pizza base, on garlic bread, drizzled over a salad—the possibilities are fucking endless.

4. Use It Instead Of Rice For Your Stir Fry

Yes, you can. Just steam or sauté the kale in a skillet with salt, pepper, and possibly a bit of broth and seasoning, and spoon whatever stir fry you were planning to make over top. This also works with stews and curries. Look at you, bein’ all low carb. Plus, you don’t have to worry about the kale being bland, because the taste is literally going to be covered up by whatever delicious dish you’re making.

5. Make Chips

Sigh, I know. But it really is stupid easy and healthier for you. Preheat the oven to 350F. Wash a bunch of kale and pat it dry, then break the leaves into bite sized pieces. Toss with about 2 tbsps olive oil, salt, and parmesan cheese then spread on a baking sheet in a single layer. Bake for about 10 minutes or until kale is crispy and slightly brown.

Read: 6 “Healthy” Habits That Could Be Doing You More Harm Than Good