Father’s Day Gifts Dads Will Actually Use

Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link and purchase a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.

Let’s get right to it: Father’s Day is coming up, and we know you need ideas for gifts. Sure, we don’t know that for fact, since we don’t know know you and all, but we can guess you aren’t necessarily living and breathing the same shit your dad is living and breathing. That’s right, your 65-year-old dad isn’t going to have the same batshit crazy reaction you might have to that Milk Bar cake you see all over your basic friends’ Instagrams. So, it’s on you to do some research and get something he might actually get excited about. But not to fret—we’ve got those young and hip dads covered in this list, too. We know they’re mourning their youth, so the least you can do is get those new dads something cool for Father’s Day.

Buy $16.95
prices as of time of posting

Scentbird is a subscription that sends new designer/niche fragrances directly to your doorstep each month. We know men love their Old Spice, etc., but this is a great way to force get them to step it up a notch.

Dads love gadgets. And being stressed. Enter: the Apollo Neuro Device. Developed by neuroscientists and physicians, the Apollo device offers silent, soothing vibrations that speak to your dad’s nervous system, telling him he’s safe and in control, meaning it can help him fall asleep, relieve anxiety, etc.

Buy $95
price as of time of posting

The reparative moisturizer with Peptide-Rich Plasma® is an all-in-one, highly active moisturizing treatment that hydrates and repairs damaged, aging (sorry!) skin. We love a luxurious moisturizing moment, and so will your dad or husband… once you convince him to use it. And if he doesn’t, more for you.

Buy $95
price as of time of posting

This is a minimalist, RFID-blocking wallet. The main cardholder uses elastic to expand to hold up to 12 IDs and credit cards. It literally screams “Hi, I was made for dads”.

Men—especially dads—always seem to be uncomfortable and hot (and complaining about it). The Tempur-Pedic Cooling Pillow is iconic because it can solve both of those problems (and you can still keep the thermostat where it’s at). You’re welcome.

Buy $65
price as of time of posting

This is the nice guy of gifts, because you kind of can’t go wrong with monogrammed packing cubes. They’re even made sustainably from 16 recycled plastic water bottles. It’s a win-win, and if your dad or husband is always the one who’s trying to wake everybody up at 6am on vacation, he’ll appreciate the organization of this gift.

Buy $35
price as of time of posting

I mean, let the tee speak for itself. Show off that your dad or hubs is the coolest dad around town in the Cool Dad 2022 Tee. If you’re a baby mama reading this, get yourself the Cool Mom 2022 Tee to match.

Buy $150
price as of time of posting

You can’t go wrong with a staple sweater, especially one that’s this soft. This specific Cashmere Crewneck is reversible and features a hand-sewn fashion tag, with a contrast seamless stitch. 

This is for the like, really cool dads (they exist too these days). This is a premium vintage trucker hat with Homme Femme Basketball embroidered on the front. If the dad in your life doesn’t appreciate fashion, this probs isn’t for him. But the guys that get it, get it…you know the rest.

Buy $195
price as of time of posting

The movement to make dad sneakers cool again starts here! These Pangaia sneakers are made by repurposing discarded grape skins, stalks and seeds into lightweight grape leather. The sole is made from 86% natural rubber created from industrial waste including unused prototypes and products. They come in a bunch of different colors to choose from, too.

You knew there’d be a watch on this list, and here is our pick. It’s a gold stainless steel mesh bracelet watch that’s a great option if you want to go all out this Father’s Day, but not ridiculously all-out. You know?

Buy $89.95
price as of time of posting

We love a kit, because it requires minimum thinking on our end. This shave kit from Walker & Co. includes the Bevel Safety Razor, Shave Brush, Pre-Shave Oil, Shave Cream, Post-Shave Balm, and 40 Blades. Fancy shit! 

Images: biova-nakou / pexels

5 Hats That Make You Look Stupid

There a few things I hate more than douchebags wearing a giant sign on their head that says they are a douchebag. By sign, I, of course, mean big stupid hats that makes you look like a douchebag. In LA, there are bars that will not let you in if you’re wearing a stupid hat (and/or sandals). These hats below are why. And look, I am PRO hat. I have a car hat that I leave in my car to keep the dreaded California sunshine from barbecuing my ghostly complexion when I’m stuck in a four hour traffic jam. Which happens weekly. And sometimes it’s even longer if some asshole decided to die on the 101, because motorcycles should not be allowed to weave between cars on the freeway. My point is there is a time and a place to wear a hat. If done correctly, you will look chic af. Just do not wear stupid hats like these.

1. That Pageboy Cap All ~Artsy~ People Wear

 I cannot even begin to explain how much I hate these fucking hats. Are you in Newsies? No? DO NOT WEAR THIS HAT. It doesn’t look artsy, it looks like you’re trying super hard to look artsy, which is just really sad. It’s like writers who can’t write without everyone watching them write in a coffee shop. Just shut up and actually do some fucking art if you want to look artsy. Otherwise, leave these hats in the garbage. They are not even flattering and clash with everything you’ll wear anyway.
Nasty Gal Quit While You’re Ahead Newsboy Cap

2. Fisherman Hats

This looks almost the exact same as the horrible pageboy hats. Guess what, Urban Outfitters? You can’t call it something else and make it cool. Also, are you a 60-year-old overweight white male that enjoys sitting next to a swamp all day fishing? No? Then do not fucking dress like one.

Urban Outfitters Brixton Denim Fiddler Hat

3. Oversize Hats Unless It’s A Sun Hat

If you’re at the beach in Cabo, sipping a skinny margarita in a lounge chair with your giant floppy sun hat shielding your delicate face and shoulders, then you are chic af and you are doing it right. Samantha Jones’s ridiculously huge sun hat from the Sex and the City movie: also chic af, and I’ll allow it. Otherwise, calm the fuck down, Pharrell Williams, hats should not come in giant. Pharrell writes literally everything in the music industry that isn’t written by Taylor Swift, and he still looks like a douchebag in his huge hat. Don’t touch anything that looks like this with a 10-foot pole, and that includes any douchey guy wearing a giant hat, too.
Rag & Bone Floppy Brim Fedora
Rag & Bone Floppy Brim Fedora

4. Berets

You’re not French, you fucktard. And even if you are, if you’re not physically in France sipping a cappuccino at a chic little cafe wearing all black, while writing poetry, you have no business wearing a beret. You look like a moron AND it is not flattering.
Urban Outfitters Felt Beret

5. Bucket Hats

These hats were soooo cool when I shopped at Limited Too. In 1998. 20 fucking years ago. Even ScHoolboy Q couldn’t bring back the bucket hat, so you most definitely don’t have the swag or street cred to even try. This is a horrible trend, Miranda from Lizzie McGuire, and we know how things ended up for her.
Lacoste Denim Bucket Hat
Lacoste Denim Bucket Hat
Images: Urban Outfitters (3); Nasty Gal; Luigi Manga / Unsplash
Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link in this article and buy a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.
8 Beach Hats That Won’t Make You Look Stupid

Okay, so… it’s time for us to talk about hats and the weird shit you guys have been doing with them at the beach. I’d like to start by saying that I totally get the hat thing. Your hair color is too expensive to expose it to the sun’s damaging rays for hours on end. Plus, hats are kind of fun to wear. I don’t know about you, but I always feel like a celeb hiding from paparazzi when I’m wearing one. (Except, LOL, I’d probably never shy away from a photo op.) But recently, a certain group of people who must not be named (social media influencers) have been totally ruining hats for the rest of us. It’s like you can’t even go to the beach or pool without a hat with dumb quote embroidered across it. These hats were ingeniously constructed by designers who want to trap young women into overpaying for a pile of straw in the hopes of breaking their personal Instagram likes record, but let me make one thing clear: Hats with cliché sayings are for girls who are too boring to come up with their own hilarious Instagram captions and have misattributed Marilyn Monroe quotes tattooed on their ribcages. Because I personally believe in each and every single one of you betches to come up with your own clever beach Insta (and not get tragic tattoos), I’ve compiled a list of hats that are socially acceptable to wear in public and/or on the internet.

1. Urban Outfitters Vanessa Straw Boater Hat

Those of us who feel legitimate physical discomfort when wearing a color other than black deeply understand that sometimes even a neutral-colored straw hat is just too much. To stay true to your all black everything mantra without going full-out beach goth, rock this black straw boater hat.

Urban Outfitters Vanessa Boater Hat

2. ASOS Oversized Straw Floppy Hat With Rose Gold Metallic Brim

This enormous floppy hat is a great way to tell people to get out of your face without actually having to make eye contact. Plus, it has a rose gold metallic brim, which is pretty basic dope.

ASOS Oversized Straw Floppy Hat With Rose Gold Metallic Brim

3. Merona Women’s Woven Baseball Hat

If classic beach hats aren’t your style, go for this woven baseball cap. Plus, it’s sold at Target, so you can also pick up 13 bottles of nail polish, gummy vitamins to fix a cuticle problem you didn’t know existed, and a new phone case while you’re at it.

Womens Woven Baseball Hat

4. Anthropologie Kelyn Canvas Visor

Visors can be pretty stupid most of the time, but if you absolutely must wear one, it should be this. The tie in the back will look like, sooo adorable with your flawless beach waves.

Anthropologie Kelyn Canvas Visor

5. L.A. Hearts Washed Pink Dye Dad Hat

I can’t imagine why you would, but on the off chance you’d like to add a little color to your wardrobe, doing it with a hat is pretty easy. This dad cap is a perfect way to add a pop of pink to your beach look without seeming like you just got tarred and feathered in a Victoria’s Secret PINK store.

LA Hearts Washed Pink Dye Dad Hat

6. Topshop Straw Bandanna Fedora Hat

Fedoras are a slippery slope, but if you think you’re an interesting enough person to pull one off, then go for it. The bandana on this is very reminiscent of Audrina Patridge during her Justin Bobby phase, so just make sure you don’t get ditched by a homeboy in combat boots at the beach while you’re wearing it. 

Topshop Straw Bandanna Fedora Hat

7. Express Pom Band Fedora

I actually can’t believe I found two fedoras that are socially acceptable to wear. I should totally like, write fashion articles for Betches, or something. Anyway, this hat is pretty cool, especially if you’re looking to pick sand out of a few stupid looking little pom poms after your beach trip.

Express Pom Band Fedora

8. Shop Betches Not A Morning Person Hat

Let everyone know that the only time you wake up early is on beach days with this Shop Betches hat. Remember how we talked shit about hats with dumb inspirational quotes? Well, this one’s different because it’s like, actually funny and not something you’d see taped up on a mood board. It’s faux suede so like, maybe don’t wear it in the water…not like you’d go swimming anyway.

Shop Betches Not A Morning Person

Read: Non-Fugly Slides To Wear Since Everyone Is Buying Them
There’s No Such Fucking Thing As A “Dad” Hat, So Stop

I’m convinced that Refinery29, the website equivalent of the girl in middle school who wore Sketchers and JC Penney clothes but still thought she was hot shit, doesn’t let their writers out of their writer-dungeon-thing. A reader recently shared with me a post from last week, titled “‘Dad’ Hats Are The Kind-Of Weird, Kind-Of Cool Trend Infiltrating Our Closets.” What’s a “dad” hat, you might ask? Great question! Here’s the author’s straightforward, not at all weird description:

“Yet another staple being revived thanks to normcore, these typically solid-colored, cotton pieces (and normally embroidered with some type of logo or pop-culture reference) are become a staple in a whole new way. And the best part about that? You probably already own one.”

You know what she’s describing? A baseball cap. She’s describing a fucking baseball cap, the same hat that literally everyone in America either has or has had in the back of their closet. She acknowledges this, yet she describes them as though she’s an astronaut performing an autopsy on alien genitalia.

Look, I have no idea if baseball caps actually pass for chic fashion these days beyond “ugh my hair is disgusting,” so don’t ask. But like, come on, act like you’ve at least seen the thing you’re writing about before.

Image: Volodymyr TVERDOKHLIB / shutterstock.com