The Absolute Worst Ways You Could Propose This Holiday Season

For bros who lack creativity, getting engaged around the holidays is a great idea. Nothing gets you out of buying the amount of gifts she actually deserves then putting a ring under the tree/Hannukah bush/Kwanzaa lantern (idk if that’s what it is and I apologize for my cultural ineptitude).

But we have a few rules both for the proposer and the proposee—especially as it pertains to getting engaged around the holidays. Sure, it’s kind of a cop-out, but you can still make it Insta-worthy and cute if you follow the fucking rules. You wouldn’t get engaged without asking your friends first, right? Right.

DON’T

Propose in the snow without having the ring securely fastened to something: This is kind of a no-brainer, but whoever is doing the proposing is probs SO NERVOUS that they’re likely to forget this v important step. PLEASE make sure that the ring I assume you spent a lot of money on is securely fastened to your hand, a box, a pillow, a flock of doves—whatever. Just make sure you don’t drop that shit in the snow.

Forget to have private time: I know the holidays are a time when gramma’s hugs, platters of cookies, mommy doing your laundry, and asking daddy for money all run together over the course of probably like, 120 hours. That’s great, but if you’re adding a proposal into that mix, make sure you have a sec to step away and like, enjoy the fact that you’re about to ruin your lives with marriage. YAY.

Propose in front of 9834785687687 people (unless she straight-up wants that): Ummm, so not all relationships are as loved and accepted as others. If you’re planning on proposing around the holidays, get the OKAY from her fam before you get down on one knee in front of them. I mean, nothing would be funnier than her sister crying and screaming IT’S NOT FAIR, her father getting shotgun, and her mom pouring another glass of wine, but if you AREN’T into that, maybe make sure you’re good to go first.

DO

Involve family: Like we said, if you get the okay to propose in front of family, def do that (if you both are happy with that). If you opt for the quieter proposal, like, in some bushes or something, make sure to head back to the house full of relatives wearing Santa hats and smiles so you can all chug eggnog till you puke. Oh, and make sure families know BEFORE you put anything on social media. That’s just a surefire way to piss gramma off if you fuck that up.

Look hot: Whether you (the person getting proposed to) are suspicious about a proposal or not, make sure you look great. This shit is gonna get Facebooked, Snapped, Instagrammed, Tweeted, and whatever the fuck else you kids do nowadays. Get your nails did, wear a cute scarf, and be sure to do the whole Miss America hand-over-mouth “OH MY GAWWWWDDD” fake cry thing. Makes for a great photo.

Get a lil tacky with it: My cousin’s bf at the time decided to hang her 2 ct. solitaire (I KNOW) on the tree, and she missed it for 2 hrs until he yelled LOOK AT THE FUCKING TREE. I imagine it was kind of a nightmare for him at the time, but it makes for a great story now. If you’re the one proposing, don’t be afraid to get weird and creative with menorahs and Christmas trees or mistletoe. If you’re the one being proposed to and find a giant ring in one of these predicaments—embrace it.