This week was the season three finale of The Handmaid’s Tale, and after a lackluster, dragged-out season, we finally got our reward for sticking it out. The finale gave me everything I want from a dramatic finale—I cried, and honestly that’s all I’m looking for out of finales. I lost count of the number of times my jaw hit the floor, and at one point I spilled an entire glass full of Sauvignon Blanc on my new mattress. At some point June went from being a Handmaid to a mob boss, but like a good mob boss, you know?
I breathed a sigh of relief as the other Handmaids appeared from the mist to carry June’s bleeding body through the woods and giddily texted a friend “WHAT NOW!?” as the credits started rolling. So…what now? Well I’m obviously not a Hulu exec, but I have some predictions for The Handmaid’s Tale season 4.
June Isn’t Going Anywhere
The plane is gone, and with it, June’s opportunity of flying out of Gilead. But here’s the thing about June: she’s the star so like…she’s not going to be killed off. If Elisabeth Moss was considering pulling a Steve Carrell à la The Office and departing her well-rated show before we’re given a satisfying ending, more time would have been spent building up the story line of one of the other peripheral characters, but nobody has been built up enough to take over the mighty shoes that June would leave behind.
Rita, Emily & Moira Will Slay
Rita is a boss-ass bitch too, and hopefully we’ll get a lot more of her in season 4, as well as more of Moira, who we were kind of cheated out of this season, what with only a few memorable scenes. In regards to Emily, I could not be happier about Alexis Bledel’s career trajectory. Like, who knew Rory Gilmore could act like that!? She can like, really act! For that reason I think (and hope) we get more of Emily next season.
Commander Lawrence’s Reprise
So the plane is gone, and with it a whole slew of Marthas and a sh*t ton of kids. It’s inevitable that The Handmaid’s Tale season 4 premiere will open with all the commanders and all the wives waking up and discovering that all of their precious little stolen children are missing, like Christmas morning in Whoville, only the Grinch won’t be held responsible this time. Commander Lawrence stayed behind in a final act of bravery, and I predict he’ll take the blame and coincidentally the glory for June’s work and definitely be hung on the wall, which is sad but also let us not forget it’s largely his fault everyone’s in this situation. He’s like the friend who suggests going to a terrible restaurant then takes all the glory when he picks up the check…like yeah you should pay for it because you’re the only goddamn reason we’re here.
With Lawrence potentially out of the picture, his big Frankensteiny mansion will just be sitting there rotting. Location is everything when it comes to real estate and Gilead is no longer the hot place to be buying! Even if Lawrence ends up keeping his life, and his book- and probably roach-filled house, I don’t think we’ve seen the last of that house yet. June and the other Handmaids will make it their headquarters/hideout, because after all, everyone in Gilead will assume they’re gone along with everyone else. June is known to be the boss bitch on the block and if they’re assuming she’s the brains behind this heist they’ll assume she was the first one on that plane too.
Aunt Lydia v June: Two Enter, One Leaves
With that sneaky bitch Aunt Lydia snooping around like your little sister sniffing out your brand new Abercrombie clothes in high school, she’s bound to be a problem, and we’ve waited three full seasons for that showdown of the century, Aunt Lydia Vs. June. Maybe Aunt Lydia will turn Lawrence style, or maybe she’ll make it her personal mission to take down June—either way it’s going to make a killer episode. With surprisingly little mention about Hannah in the finale, June will return her laser focus on getting her daughter back like a college sophomore with a re-upped Adderall prescription, so Aunt Lydia is sure to get in the way.
Canada’s Done Playing
This is the second consecutive Handmaid’s finale we’ve watched June just barely miss her escape, but like a phoenix from the ashes, or your drunk friend that throws up before getting her second wind, June will rise again and be stronger than ever. After all, there are still kids left in Gilead and June is setting herself up to be the hero of the future history books. She’ll help get more women and children out with no regard to her own personal safety, she’s clearly decided this cause is worth her life and it’s making for such a better viewing experience. With all of these new arrivals in Canada they’re not going to be able to ignore what’s happening in Gilead, and maybe we’ll get an invasion of some sort, with Luke, Emily, Moira and Rita all campaigning to get June back who knows how far they’ll go?
Orange Is The New Waterfords
Watching the demise of the Waterfords unfold should be a joy ride we’ve all earned. With Serena getting re-arrested and losing her immunity, I can’t help but feel giddy that we’ll get to see her behind bars with the people she tortured in Gilead on the other side. Imagine June visiting a locked up Serena!? It’s all too damn much and I can’t wait for it. Mr. Waterford is a genuine piece of sh*t, and he’ll make sure Serena rots along side him, and while part of me feels bad for her, she’s like….a terrible person, plus she’s such an amazing actress, can you imagine the monologues she’ll deliver from her orange jumpsuit? Seeing as baby Nichole has literally no Waterford blood and it’s now out in the open, I think the days of worrying about her going back to them are in the past, bless up. I’m also super excited for Nick’s reprise, partly because of his newly uncovered mysterious past, mostly because he’s so goddamn hot.
I guess we’ll have to wait until season four premieres to really know what’s going to go down in Gilead, and hopefully we don’t have to sit though 10 f*cking episodes to wait for it get good again, but frankly it could be 13 episodes of Elisabeth Moss staring directly into camera and I would still tune in. Until then, under his eye.
Images: Hulu; Giphy (5)