We’ve reached the point where it’s basically a requirement that everyone acknowledges the current protests against police brutality on social media, and unsurprisingly, some are doing it better than others. While some Real Housewives (and a lot of people in Seth Rogen’s comment section) are clinging to their All Lives Matter bullsh*t, more and more people are interrupting the aesthetic of their grid to get mad about what is, and has for decades been, happening to black people in our country.
This goes for celebrities too. We’ve seen many sharing amazing, educational posts, and even joining the protests themselves. Halsey has definitely been one of the best celeb follows on Twitter recently, sharing personal protest stories, important safety information, and general thoughts about this current situation, and the larger issues that caused it, that everyone should read. Halsey has always spoken out about the issues and microaggressions she has faced as a biracial woman, while also acknowledging her privilege as a white-passing woman of color.
Whenever protests like this get a lot of attention, there are inevitably those who are critical of the methods used. It’s easy to suggest a peaceful protest when you’ve never actually had to protest for your own rights, and when you are not being antagonized by people who are not part of the peaceful protest. But if you’re a true ally, you know that it’s not your place to question or critique the response to pain you cannot understand.
if you are not black, you couldn’t possibly understand the grief, fear and anger of black people right now. don’t condem folks expressing their outrage. don’t tweet “what you would do” if it were you. because it’s not you. it never has been you. you don’t know. #BlackLivesMatter
— h (@halsey) May 29, 2020
it’s not black peoples’ job to educate you on how to not be a fucking racist. be a fucking grown up and a decent human being and let people focus their energy on their community not on babying you. holy fuck.
— h (@halsey) May 29, 2020
It’s fine to have questions. It’s great to want to educate yourself. But right now isn’t the time to burden your black friend or coworker with the responsibility of explaining things to you. Read a book. Watch a documentary. Have conversations with allies in your life who have already done this work. There are many other ways to educate yourself.
Like many others, Halsey went out to protest this weekend in Los Angeles. But unfortunately things didn’t remain peaceful at these protests, and Halsey documented firsthand the unprovoked aggressive behavior of police officers toward protestors. On Saturday, after leaving the protest, she tweeted that she was not arrested, but had left because police were making arrests, and she was with people whose immigration status would be at risk if they were arrested.
I WAS NOT ARRESTED.
Im safe. There were ppl I had to get to safety as many of them have VISAs. Myself + many of my peers were shot, gassed + antagonized. The frontline was calm + did not provoke
BUT MANY ARE NOT SAFE + MANY ARE IN CUSTODY
DONATE TO BAIL ORGS!!!
I AM CURRENTLY
— h (@halsey) May 31, 2020
While she was safe, she reiterated that many others “were shot, gassed + antagonized,” despite the protestors remaining calm and not provoking the police. Judging from videos of protests in different cities, unprovoked aggression seems to be a common theme at these protests, and Halsey experienced the same thing the very next day.
On Sunday night, Halsey posted more tweets about “the horrors” of the protesting experience, saying that the National Guard and the LAPD were firing rubber bullets into crowds of protestors kneeling peacefully. She stressed that people are getting seriously injured, and there aren’t enough people with medical training to help them out. This sounds like something you would expect in a war zone, but not in the streets of Santa Monica.
I dont know how to articulate the horrors of today. NG + officers firing rounds into kneeling crowds. We dont have enough medics on the ground on our side. I was treating injuries I am not qualified to. So much blood spilled. If you have med training pls go + standby outskirts.
— h (@halsey) June 1, 2020
fired rubber bullets at us. we did not breach the line. hands were up. unmoving. and they gassed and fired. pic.twitter.com/K8YauF0APn
— h (@halsey) May 31, 2020
She also posted several photos and videos of police officers moving toward peaceful protestors and tear gas exploding in the middle of the street. While Halsey wasn’t injured, she warned about the danger of rubber bullets, saying that she “had to bandage a man who looked like his entire face had exploded today.” She specifically directed this point at people who think the protestors are exaggerating, or that the police aren’t contributing to the violence here.
do not underplay these rubber bullets bc you have been told they are “not lethal”. I had to bandage a man who looked like his entire face had exploded today. So before you say, from the comfort of your home, that we’re exaggerating, please consider the injuries some have suffered
— h (@halsey) June 1, 2020
She also called out non-black people at the protests, saying that “allies are there to help when help is needed. Not take control of the narrative.” On my own social media feeds, I’ve seen many white people wondering how they can get involved without overstepping their boundaries, and this is an easy way to boil it down: just listen.
And fucking listen to the black people speaking. You are not there to speak over them. If they are venting their pain and anguish out loud do not speak over them. Allies are there to help when help is needed. Not take control of the narrative. there’s enough of that already.
— h (@halsey) June 1, 2020
And it seems like this should go without saying, but if you see Halsey, or any other public figure, out at a protest, don’t f*cking ask for a picture.
don’t even ask me, I won’t say yes. that’s not what this is about.
— h (@halsey) May 30, 2020
Is it great that celebs are out there getting involved? Absolutely. But a protest is not a meet-and-greet, this is f*cking serious.
Halsey gets this, and because of her posts, there’s no doubt that she’s helped many other people start to understand this situation better. Her dedication to giving her millions of followers a real look at what’s happening right now is so necessary, and I hope her followers are listening.
Images: JStone / Shutterstock.com; halsey / Twitter
This morning, the nominations were announced for the 62nd Annual GRAMMY Awards, which means awards season has officially begun. As expected, many of this year’s biggest stars cleaned up in the top categories, with Billie Eilish and Lizzo included in all of the big four categories, and Ariana Grande and Lana Del Rey scoring their first Album of the Year nominations. Lizzo is the artist with the most nominations this year, which is undeniably well-deserved. Even “Old Town Road” got a Record of the Year nomination, which is a good thing, because I was gonna riot if Lil Nas X got snubbed.
But even though the nominations went according to plan for a lot of major artists, there are some others who are probably rage texting their managers/agents/publicists right now. Some of them are more surprising than others, but here’s who got snubbed in this year’s GRAMMY nominations.
Taylor Swift
Over the course of her career, Taylor Swift has basically been the teacher’s pet of the GRAMMYs. She’s won 10 awards, including two for Album of the Year, but this wasn’t really her year. For her new album, Lover, she came away with three nominations, including one for Song of the Year, but missed out on Album and Record of the Year—the two biggest categories. Considering that her last album, Reputation, only got one nomination, this is still an improvement, but it’s a far cry from 1989, which got a total of 10 nominations for all its songs.
Halsey
Another year has passed, and Halsey has still never gotten a GRAMMY nomination for her own song (she’s been nominated twice as a featured artist). After “Without Me” became her biggest solo hit to date, I felt sure that this would be her year, but it wasn’t meant to be. Her next album will be out in January, and her songs “Graveyard” and “Clementine” missed the eligibility window for this year’s awards, so I’m sure she already has her prayer candles lit for next year.
Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello
Despite “Señorita” being one of the biggest songs of the year, and their intense awards campaign of making out in public places, Shawn and Camila fell flat in this year’s GRAMMY nominations. They were nominated for Best Pop Duo/Group Performance, but weren’t included in Record or Song of the Year. Maybe now they can give their PR stunt of a relationship a rest?? Shawn was also probably hoping for nominations for “If I Can’t Have You,” which didn’t happen. Sad!
Jonas Brothers
Okay, so maybe I was foolish to hope that the Jonas Brothers were going to get an Album of the Year nomination, but I’m a little surprised that “Sucker” didn’t sneak into Record of the Year. Like Shawn and Camila, they were only nominated for Pop Duo/Group Performance, which I guess is a small victory. If you had told me a year ago that the Jonas Brothers would be noninated for a GRAMMY in 2020, I literally wouldn’t have believed you. Still, I wanted more for them. Oh well, they’ll always have their Teen Choice Awards surfboards.
Beyoncé
If you didn’t remember that Beyoncé released an album this year, low-key same. But her The Lion King: The Gift album actually got four nominations. For anyone else, this would basically be a dream scenario, but Beyoncé isn’t like anyone else. Along with last year’s joint album with Jay-Z, this is the second year in a row that Bey hasn’t gotten noms in the big four categories. I’m not saying The Gift was her absolute best work, but Beyoncé isn’t used to being relegated to the genre categories.
Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran’s collaborations album had about 100 famous people on it, but the GRAMMY nominations voters weren’t impressed. He was nominated for Pop Vocal Album, but literally nothing else. Even Justin Bieber’s appearance on “I Don’t Care” wasn’t en0ugh for a single nomination. Now that Ed is taking an 18-month hiatus from music, I guess he’ll be absent from the GRAMMY nominations for the next couple of years, but it looks like the voters won’t even miss him that much.
This year’s GRAMMY Awards are on January 26th, so you have a couple months to make your final predictions. Personally, my bets are on a Lizzo sweep, but who knows if all the old people who actually vote for this sh*t will do what they should. And honestly, it’s not like it matters all that much. Cheers!
Ah, the Met Gala. Every year, on the first Monday in May, the top names in fashion and entertainment gather to celebrate how rich and hot they are, and it’s always a treat. I mean, it’s technically a fundraiser, but we’re all here for the dresses. Year after year, the world’s best designers give us some serious couture looks based on whatever the theme is, and this year was no different. The thing is, this year’s theme (Camp: Notes on Fashion) was kind of an enigma. What exactly is camp? It’s hard to describe, but it’s basically an art that celebrates all things wild, over the top, ironic, and tacky. No, it doesn’t have anything to do with tie-dye or bonfires. Essentially, the only rule for this year’s red carpet was to not be boring. Sounds simple, but some of the stars had more trouble than you’d think (*cough* Kim Kardashian), and that’s mainly who made the worst end of the list. None of these people looked bad, per se, but the worst dressed mainly just bored us. Sadly, Rihanna was not in attendance, but even she did a better job than some of these snoozes. Here’s how everyone else did, for better or for worse.
Best: Lena Waithe
If you’re just learning about camp for the first time, the back of Lena Waithe’s blazer is a good place to start. Like so many things in pop culture today, the roots of what we now think of as “camp” can be traced back to black queer and drag culture, starting in the 1960s. Cultural movements grow and shift naturally through time, but it’s important to remember and pay tribute to those who came before us. For this important statement, Lena instantly had one of the best looks of the night.
Worst: Kim Kardashian
Kim is kind of the worst at the Met Gala in general because she always looks hot, but that’s not the point. She never pushes the boundaries. This year, she just walked straight out of her Vogue cover shoot and wore that exact look to the Met Gala. Seriously, just look at this sh*t:
For someone who does the most 364 days out of the year, I’ll never get why Kim chooses this day of all days to do less.
Best: Katy Perry
Whether you like Katy Perry or not, when it comes to camp, she understands the assignment. I mean, she’s spent 95% of her career dressed as various types of food, so this girl hasn’t met an over-the-top costume she doesn’t like. Most years at the Met Gala Katy looks like an idiot, but this year looking like an idiot was basically the theme, so she nailed it. She looks like Lumière from Beauty and the Beast had a major glow-up (pardon the pun), and I’m 100% here for it. I’m desperate to know how she went to the bathroom in this dress, or moved at all without impaling anyone, though. Beauty is pain!
Worst: Ashley Graham
For the last time, THE THEME IS CAMP. Do something crazy. The time to come in a Gucci logo dress, lookin’ like your grandma’s strawberry sucking candy, was not today. She looks gorgeous, and her body is obviously to die for, but that’s not the point. Where is the DRAMA? This was a swing and a miss.
Best: Lady Gaga
Usually Tom Sandoval is the one who takes a party theme the most seriously, but it was all about Gaga at the Met Gala. Honestly, I love all of these outfits, and I especially love the progression from “family dinner with your parents” to “night out with your girlfriends the second your parents drop you off at your friend’s.” My favorite look is probably the first one, because it reminds me of a couture comforter. But I think I’m going to start bringing a portable phone from 1987 everywhere.
Worst: Halsey
Look, Halsey is gorgeous and so talented, and I don’t hate what she’s wearing—in fact, I could easily see Taylor Swift copying it for the next awards show—but wearing a large skirt does not immediately mean you have successfully done camp. Halsey looks like Jafar put her under his spell, then dressed her. Hourglass sold separately, I assume.
Best: Billy Porter
Much like when he wore a tuxedo gown to the Oscars this year, Billy Porter proved again that he knows how to make a f*cking statement on a red carpet. I’m sure everyone else is kicking themselves that they didn’t think t0 be carried in by a crew of gorgeous men (me at all times), and the moment only got better when he revealed the huge gold wings on his outfit. Please make sure Billy is on the invite list for every red carpet until the end of time, because he’s the only thing keeping me awake for these things.
Worst: Kris Jenner
Kris, Kris, Kris.Kris Jenner managed to look weird even given this theme, which is kind of impressive. I know we all joke that she works harder than the devil, but nobody was working hard on this outfit. But maybe that was the problem. Was she so tired of everyone calling her the devil so she decided to dress as Glinda the Good Witch? This is truly upsetting. She looks like a cross between the Tooth Fairy and the Fairy Godmother, which I guess would make her the Fairy Godmomager. Also who did her spray tan, Tan Mom?
Best: Janelle Monáe
Janelle Monáe is a f*cking work of art who can do wrong, and this look is only further proof of that. She completely nailed the theme, and it doesn’t feel like she’s trying nearly as hard as a lot of these stars. It probably helps that this is basically an outfit she would wear to a normal event, but whatever. We stan.
Worst: Gisele Bündchen
Did Gisele Bündchen look stunning at the Met Gala? Of course Gisele Bündchen looked stunning at the Met Gala! That’s like asking if water is wet. But it doesn’t change the fact that I am B-O-R-E-D looking at this dress.From the pleating to the belt, this screams more “mother of the bride” than “Anna Wintour’s guest at the most exclusive event in existence.” Gisele was having a grand old time twirling on the red carpet, but she could’ve twirled while wearing something a lot more exciting! The only good thing about this dress is that it was made using sustainable methods by Dior, but like, couldn’t they have made Gisele a fun dress sustainably too?
Best: Cardi B
Cardi B looked like a period incarnate, but she actually lived up to the theme. She saw the top, went over it, and then back around to the bottom and over the top again. (Sorry I’ll see myself out.) But I really liked the monochromatic look, complete with the headpiece and jewels. I don’t watch Game of Thrones, so correct me if this joke is not accurate, but: she looked like the Red Wedding come to life.
Worst: Hailey Bieber
Where do I start? The Wet Seal reject of a dress? The visible whale tail? The overly aggressive spray tan? Or the fact that even given all this, the whole look still managed to bore me? I will give Hailey one bit of credit, and that is that I am completely in awe of that ponytail. Good for the ponytail. Now just ditch everything else about the look, and then we can talk.
Best: Kacey Musgraves
Is this technically campy? Sure, maybe, I honestly don’t even know anymore and I desperately need to go to sleep, but Kacey looks so goddamn good in this Barbie outfit. She already won the Grammys this year, and if there were awards given out at the Met Gala, she probably would’ve won one of those too. God, she’s so f*cking pretty.
Images: Sean Zanni / Getty Images (2); @lenawaithe, @thecut (3), @enews (6), @betches, @theebillyporter, @alarmfashion / Instagram
Sunday, December 2 was the biggest night of the year for body insecurity—I mean, since Thanksgiving (but maybe that’s just my family)—because we were all treated to the 2018 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. I’d like to open with a few remarks. First of all, a big F*CK YOU to ABC and Victoria’s Secret, above all, for making this sh*t start at 10pm on a Sunday night when I should be lying awake, crippled by anxiety about going back to work tomorrow asleep. Second of all, for making this sh*t exist in the first place. It’s 2018, we’re body positive now, sitting on my couch at 10pm watching tiny women who all somehow look alike prance down a runway while last year’s pop stars serenade them is not my idea of a good time. Like, didn’t Miss America even get rid of the bathing suit portion of their competition? It’s time to mix it up.
Fortunately, I have a few ideas for how the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show can be upgraded. Throw the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest in with this b*tch. Maybe add a talent portion (because I can assure you, walking in a straight line and blowing the occasional kiss does not count as a talent—if it did, I would be far more successful than I am today). Maybe a couch-to-runway portion, where models eat half a Domino’s pizza and then model lingerie? Give the people what they want!
In any case, regressive or not, I reluctantly tuned into the 2018 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. I missed the first performance due to connectivity issues, but tuned in to watch The Chainsmokers (aka the hot one pretending to play the guitar) and Kelsea Ballerini. I still have not figured out who Kelsea Ballerini is, to be honest. Is she from The Voice? Is she like, the Rita Ora of country music? Sure, I could Google it, but then who would be there in the comments to smugly correct me? She and The Chainsmokers (the other one was relegated to the back, my mistake, but he was there) perform some song I’ve never heard of.
Candice Swanepoel gets ready to walk down the runway. This is my favorite part—the soundbites of the underpaid PAs screaming “Go, Candice” to signal her trip down a flat strip of floor, as if she’s about to perform brain surgery and not just put one foot in front of the other. One of the Angels literally crosses herself backstage. I mean, I know someone did fall last year, but still, I can assure you, it is not that deep.
The theme to this line appears to be “random corsets”. It’s kind of like Candy Land mixed with Valentine’s Day? I’m sure that’s precisely what went on during the brainstorming meeting. Some models are wearing tiny sunglasses as if this weren’t filmed in November. The stage does look really cool, though.
We come back from the commercial break to a montage of Adriana Lima’s career as a Victoria’s Secret Angel. Lest we forget, Adriana is hanging up her wings after tonight. And when I decide to stop wearing lingerie in front of other people, they call it “letting yourself go”. This montage, though, is excellent. We move through Adriana’s awkward years—which, to be clear, are still better than any of us look on our best day—up until today. The most interesting part of this retrospective, I think, is the unintentional journey through women’s beauty standards. Initially, we see a stick-thin Adriana with arms that are smaller than my wrists, to now, where she appears to have been granted the ability to consume full-fat milk. Progress!
Adriana walks the runway in this gorgeous bejeweled hybrid between a bra and a shirt. How can I cop this bra for New Years Eve? Asking for myself. Adriana is crying, and I guess that’s how I’d feel on my last day of work too.
Immediately after this, Halsey performs, looking like a sexy white walker. (I don’t watch Game of Thrones, so you can let me know in the comments if that reference was accurate.) She’s got like, feathery eyebrows, I guess because if they didn’t put something stupid on Halsey’s face she’d look like an Angel and they wouldn’t want anyone to feel threatened. Halsey killed it, and I have nothing further to say on the matter.
This section is very “literal angel”—lots of white, lots of feathers. I guess it could also be winter. Whatever. One shining moment was getting to see Winnie Harlow walk down the runway, because it is about as far as VS will push the boundaries of what’s considered conventional beauty tonight.
Next, Bella Hadid walks down the runway and we cut to The Weeknd, clapping in the audience. I just want a guy to look at me with the mixture of admiration and bashfulness with which Abel looks at Bella, but I guess in order to achieve that I’d have to work out for hours every day and get some light plastic surgery… or so society would like me to believe!
We come back from commercial to footage of the models finding out they’re making the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. It’s kind of like watching a bunch of marriage proposals: a lot of screaming, crying, and tearful calls to loved ones.
Thank you, I’ll be here all week.
When we return to the show, it’s Bebe Rexha’s performance, and she’s wearing what is like, top half trench coat and bottom half ballerina outfit. It’s hot pink and garish. There are matching thigh-highs and a giant bow in the back. I imagine her conversation with her stylist went like this:
Stylist: How do you wanna look for the 2018 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show?
Bebe: Pink Panther, but make it sexy.
Stylist: Gotchu fam.
My favorite part of Bebe’s performance is the models who are half dancing down this runway (which, when your job is to walk, feels like cheating but ok), singing along to this song. How much do you think Bebe’s people had to pay them to pretend like they knew the words? Seriously, gun to your head, could any of you name a single Bebe Rexha song? And not like, a G-Eazy song where she’s featured on the hook—one of her own songs. I’ll wait.
The clothes being featured are the PINK line, and I didn’t even have to look at the garments closely to tell you that. I can tell that by the sheer amount of inappropriate sequins. What is this, 2000? Because that’s the last time I thought wearing a sequined striped referee top was a good idea.
After Bebe Rexha, it’s Shawn Mendes’ turn to perform, and this was a smart move on the part of the talent bookers for this show, seeing as being serenaded by Shawn Mendes is the only thing in this entire hour-long special that’s actually motivating me to purchase more underwear.
My favorite moment is when Gigi Hadid walks by, wearing a parachute strapped to her back. I get it, because I’m also thinking about jumping out the nearest window watching this.
Our regularly scheduled programming is interrupted by a Bachelor promo in which Colton holds a bunch of golden retriever puppies, who look like they would rather be anywhere else in the world than in his arms. I’m sure, come January, many of the women competing on the show will be able to relate.
Before we return to the show, we get a video of all the models’ fitness goals. Martha Hunt attempts to be relatable by saying her goal is to do 10 squats without breaking form (she has Scoliosis, so I guess this is actually difficult for her… fine). My fitness goals are to be able to eat whatever I want and not gain weight, so like, same thing.
After that, Rita Ora performs!! She’s wearing so much gold jewelry, it puts the Migos to shame. I don’t actually have anything bad to say about Rita; she can clearly sing and she looks good. As Behati Prinsloo walks by, they pan to Adam Levine, who is screaming after her. Once again, if my man isn’t going to show this type of loyalty, I don’t want him.
The theme of this collection is “we just realized people are pretending to like Rock ‘n Roll as a trend now”. Legit one of these shirts is cut up the sides and held together with safety pins, like I used to do for free with shirts I got at bar mitzvahs. And, literally the last look of this collection is straight out of Mugatu’s derelicte campaign.
I’m sorry, is that a trash bag?? With spray paint?? Oh wait, I get it: this entire show is one giant walk-off.
What I hope is the last performance of the evening is by “British rock band, The Struts.” And they need to qualify that because otherwise none of us would know who tf that is. Kendall Jenner finally gets her big moment in the sun—and that pun was intended since the theme to this collection is astrology. “What VS Bra Should You Wear According To Your Horoscope”—new article coming soon to Betches.
I have to pause for a moment here, because I’ve got to wonder why the rock band didn’t sing during the rock themed collection. I sincerely hope that, after reading this article, somebody will reach out to me to curate next year’s show. I’ve got good ideas! In any case, the one other positive moment from the show is what is sure to be the abundance of Kris Jenner memes. Behold, my blurry af screenshot of Kris Jenner filming Kendall walking down the runway:
First “thank u, next” and now this. What did we do to deserve this good fortune?? Additionally, I think Kris Jenner should just walk around with a camcorder at all times now.
And we’ve made it to the finale without incident. SNOOZE. Overall, I am disappointed nobody ate sh*t on the runway. One Kris Jenner meme does not a fashion show make. On the upside, I’ve been so distracted by how lame this show has been to even feel bad about my body. So there’s that!
Images: Getty Images (4); ABC
It’s finally November, which means we’re rapidly approaching one of the year’s most important events: the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. The VS show is always a great opportunity for drinking games and binge eating, and we’re starting to get a pretty good idea of what this year’s event will look like. We have the list of which models will be walking in the show, and now we also know the list of 2018 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show performers. Read on to find out which musical artists will be performing on the runway.
In the past, the performers have included major stars like Taylor Swift, Rihanna, and Lady Gaga, among others. They’ve set a high bar for the talent level in the past, and I’ve gotta be honest, this year’s lineup is a little disappointing. It seems like they went for quantity over quality, because there are seven musical acts performing: Shawn Mendes, The Chainsmokers, Halsey, Rita Ora, Bebe Rexha, Kelsea Ballerini, and The Struts. Let’s unpack, shall we?
Okay, so I’m assuming some of these people will be performing with each other rather than solo, because otherwise this sh*t is going to be seven hours long. Shawn Mendes will probably get to perform by himself, because he’s super famous and cute and talented, and it’s what he deserves. Sure, all of the six-foot-tall models will make him look like a literal child, but I’m okay with it.
I’ve gotta be honest, the trio of Halsey, Rita Ora, and Bebe Rexha seems a little repetitive. I like all three of them, but to have them all performing at the same event doesn’t really seem necessary. Maybe Halsey will do “Closer” with The Chainsmokers? Ah 2016, it was a simpler time. The notable connection between Bebe and Rita is that they’re both Albanian, which they love to talk about. Maybe they’ll come out in Albanian flag costumes and perform together? Probs not, but I’m sure the creative geniuses at Victoria’s Secret will come up with something equally entertaining. Or maybe not. I have little faith.
The duo of The Struts and Kelsea Ballerini are definitely the bottom of the barrel here, and I’m kind of confused why they’re even on the list. Kelsea is a cute country singer, so I guess they’re going for that demographic, but if this means we’re getting a hoedown themed segment in the fashion show, I’m officially done with everything. For the love of god, do not put Adriana Lima in a cowboy hat, I forbid it. The Struts are a random British rock band, and it’s unclear if anyone cares. That’s all.
As for the models walking in the show, there are lots of them, and most really don’t matter. Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid are on the list, as well as long-time favorites like Adriana Lima, Behati Prinsloo, Candice Swanepoel, and Lily Aldridge. Also returning is Devon Windsor, who recently made headlines when she compared the struggles of being blonde to what black people go through. Great!
The 2018 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show airs on December 2, so we’re only a month away! Start working on your fashion show bod—just kidding, it’s far too late.
Images: Giphy (2)
Well guys, I guess it’s time to ask ourselves again, “is love dead??” Jk, I think we’re all going to be fine. This week, it was announced on Instagram that Halsey and G-Eazy broke up, and it’s really okay. They’d been together for close to a year, and had quickly built a reputation for acting like some weird apocalyptic couple that were determined to go down together. Like, I think these two took “ride or die” a little too literally. I was never that into it, but their fans got like, scary attached.
Too bad! Now that Halsey and G-Eazy broke up, the couple are taking some time apart, and Halsey shared the news with my favorite method of communication, a Notes app screenshot posted to Instagram Stories. What a time to be alive. Now, because I really have nothing better to do, I shall unpack this statement, because there are some really, really strange things about it.
*puts reading glasses on*
I normally keep this kind of thing private but provided our public nature I feel the need to inform my fans.
Okay, so she’s missing some commas, but what did I really expect from an iPhone note that Halsey typed? Also, lmao that she’s going to act like this relationship was soooo private. I know the exact date of when you were probably doing coke with your boyfriend in Sweden, so try harder next time.
G-Eazy and I are taking some time apart.
Okay, so she’s really not going to give any actual info. I don’t blame her, but I’m always inclined to think that “taking some time apart” is just a less harsh version of “I blocked his number and we aren’t speaking anymore.” We’ll see.
I’m eager to continue the upcoming passage of time dedicating myself to my art and my career, and the duration of my tour.
STOP. OMG. This bitch is really talking about “continuing the upcoming passage of time” as if any of us on this Earth have a choice in the matter?? This sentence reads like she has to hit a minimum word count and is completely out of ideas. Literally no one has talked like this for a hundred fucking years. I’m really glad she’s excited about her career and her tour, but the first half of this sentence has really thrown me for a loop. Halsey girl, what are you doing?
I wish him the best.
Yikes. Gerald, I would sleep with one eye open if I were you.
Thanks for respecting our privacy at this time.
Basically she doesn’t want people commenting on every photo asking about her and G-Eazy. That makes sense. Honestly, I’m just glad she kept that statement pretty brief. I didn’t have the energy to sift through paragraphs like Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan made me do.
So with the statement out of the way, all that’s left to discuss is Halsey’s shady AF post on her Instagram.
The photo in question:
Please direct your attention to the caption, which is obviously definitely about G-Eazy. Without having any personal knowledge of exactly why Halsey and G-Eazy broke up, this caption makes it sound like he fucked up. Either way, Halsey seems like she’ll be okay, if only because she looks absolutely incredible in that bikini. Seriously, I need to know her workout routine so I can pretend that someday I’ll do it too. You go girl, enjoy this upcoming passage of time and kiss his ass goodbye.
Images: @iamhalsey / Instagram
Back in college, I used to get wasted on Wednesday nights, but now my typical hump day evening consists of watching The Real Housewives of New York City before being in bed promptly by 11. Apparently, G-Eazy and I have very different lives. G-Eazy got arrested for assault and cocaine possession in Sweden on Wednesday night, which is crazy but also not that surprising at the same time. He was partying after the first European show of his Beautiful & Damned Tour, and things obviously got a little out of hand. There aren’t a lot of details yet, but let’s go over what we know about this Swedish train wreck.
First of all, just a reminder that G-Eazy’s name is Gerald. Sorry, I just still think it’s really funny. Anyway, he’s in the middle of his big fancy world tour, and Stockholm was the first stop, so naturally it was time to get fucked up. There was an afterparty, and the guests included a lot of Swedish people, G-Eazy’s girlfriend/overgrown scene kid Halsey, and Sean Kingston. Yes, Sean Kingston of “Beautiful Girls” fame. Honestly, Sean Kingston randomly being at this party is my favorite part of this whole story. I’m just glad he’s fully recovered from that tragic jet ski accident, bless up.
God bless the G-Eazy stan account on Instagram for somehow having video of him fucked up at his afterparty, and also for posting concert photos today like nothing happened. You da realest. According to sources at the party, G-Eazy was having a really great time (read: on a lot of drugs) and started acting belligerent. So glad that’s never happened to me. When security tried to get him to calm down, he started swinging, and allegedly hit one guard in the face several times. Oops!
G-Eazy got arrested and was taken into custody on suspicion of assault, and then the cops also found coke in his pocket (oops again!), so he also got charged with both possession and use of narcotics. He’s reportedly still in custody, but I’m sure Halsey is planning an elaborate scheme to break him out of jail before his next tour date. Imagine the Lady Gaga/Beyoncé “Telephone” video, but grainier and taken in the Perpetua filter. Before you go berating me in the comments section, just look at his last posted Instagram and tell me I’m not right.
Ah, look how pensive G-Eazy looks in his artsy Instagram photo, posted just hours before he would be passing out shots and doing bumps off of Halsey’s finger (I imagine). Simpler times, truly. There hasn’t been any sort of statement from G-Eazy or his team, but I’m sure there’ll be something dramatic as soon as he gets out of prison. Halsey will probably like, release 1,000 white doves into the sky to signal his innocence while they ride off into the distance on a motorcycle. Their entire lives are like that one week in your 2008 emo phase where you thought you were like, a very good poet.
While it seems like a cocaine arrest would finally give G-Eazy some much-needed street cred, it really just adds to his reputation as a glorified frat rapper. Seriously, punching a security guard in a drunken coke rage is behavior that matches 85% of the dudes in any fraternity. So if you have tickets to G-Eazy’s show on Sunday in Copenhagen, you might want to make other plans. Gerald is a little busy, that is unless the Swedish police are big fans of “Me Myself & I” and decide to go easy on him. I have a feeling he’ll be okay.
Images: @the.gerald.updates, @g_eazy / Instagram
It used to only be okay to wear black and red if you were Kirsten Dunst in Bring it On or like, Avril Lavigne. The color combo totally evokes sk8er girl vibes, which were gross AF until recently, when everyone started wearing Vans and Thrasher hoodies as dresses and the flames trend was born. Do any of us even know what Thrasher is? Probably not, but it’s irrelevant, because Rihanna wears it and what RiRi says goes. (Side note, that totally pisses off the people at Thrasher. Again, don’t really know/care who those people actually are, but if they think Rihanna isn’t badass enough to wear their clothes, they’re probably stage five hardos.)
It seems like almost everyone is currently going through an “it’s not a phase, mom” phase. In addition to nipple piercings and “snogged lips,” you should probably get some shit with flames on it if you’re looking to pull off the “edgy, but I’m still part of a family cell phone plan and shower regularly” vibe.
At first, the flame trend reminded me of something the people who took their Facebook profile pictures in Spencer’s would wear. Then, supermodels and other famous people started to wear it, so I decided it was fine. I’ve also realized that this trend has my full support because it creates outfits that are so easy to caption, which gives you time to do more important things like complain and take even more pictures of yourself. All you have to do is throw up some fire emojis and call it a day. Here’s how to pull off the trend without looking like one of the Hot Wheels toys the kid you babysat in high school used to play with.
Halsey is a perfect example of a betch who’s like, really pretty and into high fashion but also hashtag edgy. She’s proof that a Gucci bag with flames on it is the most effective way to show the world that you’re into expensive shit, but also super chill and probably smoke weed.
In case you accidentally spent all of your funds on Ubers to places you could have walked to, or are just a regular person who can’t afford to blow four grand on a bag you’ll only use for two months, there are definitely other options. This American Vintage Leather Flame Backpack will achieve a similar vibe and nobody will even know it’s not designer if you take the photo with that Polaroid camera you got at Urban Outfitters.
Bella Hadid, who is another icon in the world of basic betches who are still edgier and cooler than everyone else, wore a leather Philipp Plein miniskirt with flames for her PAPER cover shoot. Unfortunately, it costs roughly the same amount of money as 185 vodka crans.
The One Above Another Mini Skirt In Petrol Glitter With Flame from ASOS is $49 and sparkly, so… I’m going to go with that one instead.
Of course, no roundup of trends that primarily exist on Instagram would be complete without featuring the Queen of outfit pics an innocent boyfriend was forced to take, Kylie Jenner. Obviously, there’s a $70 pair of Champion sweatpants with flames screen printed on the side in the Kylie Jenner Shop. Considering you’ll probably wear these once before throwing them into the bin of clothes you only pull from when you’re blacked out and waiting for your pizza to be delivered, it’s probably okay to get the Forever 21 knockoff in this situation.
So yeah, you’re welcome for all of the “OMG you’re so clever lol” comments you’ll get on your flame outfit Instagram with an “IT’S LIT” caption.
