Everyone Knows I’m The Posh Spice Of The Group & Other Woes Of Planning A Group Costume

Ashley: So……………………what’s our group costume going to be for this retro party?

Britney: Group? I was going to go super retro as my namesake 👑 Britney Spears 👑 

Ashley: we could do retro pop singers

Emily: Do you know any others besides Britney Spears?

Jessica: Christina Aguilera was a judge on The Voice

Jessica: That’s all I know

Denise: Do the 90s count as retro?

Jessica: yeah, millennials are old/cringey af

Britney: So then why are we emulating them again?

Ashley: It’s the theme.

Britney: true

Emily: what was it even like back then? Wasn’t everyone homophobic? ugh

Ashley: I watched VH1 I Love the ’90s

Ashley: so I’m like an expert

Denise: 🙄

Denise: Ok, Ashley. 

Ashley: And I’ve seen a few episodes of The Office

Emily: wtf?

Jessica: WHY?

Jessica: cringe 4 cringe? CHEUGY

Ashley: 😫

Emily: Oh duh. Just googled: Spice Girls. 5 of them

Jessica: That does work!

Britney: do we have an inspiration pic??

Ashley:

Jessica: Is that silly string?

Denise: I choose to believe it is

Ashley: and it’s so easy for us to pick since it’s so obvious who we all are

Emily: Is it?

Ashley: Yeah, just look at Denise. 

Britney: 👀

Emily: 👀

Ashley: Ginger is ginger.

Denise: 🙄

Jessica: Ok, following that logic I’m automatically Scary 🙄

Ashley: good!

Britney: Uh……casual racism aside…….who am I?

Jessica: How existential.

Britney: 🤪

Denise: Baby (blonde)

Emily: baby

Jessica: Yeah, Baby

Ashley: and I’ll be Posh, obviously

Britney: 👀

Jessica: 👀

Denise: 👀

Emily: “obviously” 🙃

Ashley: they’re both basically Sporty now anyway since Posh is married to that soccer guy

Emily: David Beckham

Ashley: See!!! you are sporty ⚽️ 🏈 ⚾️ 🥎 🎾 🏐 🏉 🎱

Emily: Fine, whatever. It’s just for a stupid party I’m going to blackout for anyway, joke’s on you bitches bc I’ll be the most comfortable

Emily: I will NOT be switching shoes with anyone, so don’t ask 

Denise: shit wait

Emily: too late 🤪

Denise: fine … we should prob incorporate masks right?

Britney: 😷

Ashley: I don’t think Posh would do that

Jessica: good thing we’re just dressing up and you aren’t really Posh Spice jfc 

Britney: 🙃

Ashley: ok, send pics of your costume when you have it

Denise: I……actually think we just need to get dressed and crimp our hair and we’re good

Britney: yep

Jessica: Yep.

Emily: Yep.

Ashley: whatever, I’ll see you in 3 weeks

Britney: right, cheerio!! 🧐💂‍♀️

Denise: NO FAKE ACCENTS

Britney: 🥺😔

Ashley: I’m doin one

Denise: oh god

Image: Mosuno / Stocksy.com

UPDATED: Dale Moss From ‘The Bachelorette’ Has Some Iconic Old Modeling Photos

On the last season of The Bachelor, as we watched Peter’s chance of finding love rapidly deteriorate, there was really only one thing that kept me interested: digging up Hannah Ann’s old modeling gigs and sharing them with the world. From yoga mat packaging to restaurant menus, Hannah Ann’s modeling career was far more entertaining than anything happening on the screen. While Clare Crawley’s season of The Bachelorette is far from a snooze so far, there’s always time for some more modeling photos from a contestant’s past, and the top model on Clare’s season appears to be none other than Dale Moss. Yes Clare, get that model d!

Over the weekend, my “there for the wrong reasons” spidey senses started tingling, and when I opened Instagram, I was greeted by the shocking sight of former NFL player Dale dressed in one of those oversized taco costumes. You know, the one that some guy at a frat party was always wearing, even though it wasn’t a theme party. Normally I hate these costumes, but somehow Dale still looks adorable with with a taco on his chest and maracas in both hands.

 

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You know Bachelorette Dale, but do you know Party City model Dale?

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But the taco costume was just the tip of the iceberg! Turns out, Dale modeled several costumes for Party City, including the taco (which is actually a couples costume for you and your dog), Superman, and a Roman centurion. Personally, I would have liked to see Dale in some costumes with a little less fabric (where is the Magic Mike costume!!!), but I guess Party City likes to keep it PG. Sad! Can’t wait for one of Clare’s jealous contestants to show Clare this photo and “warn her” that Dale wore a skirt one time.

Those Party City photos were the serotonin boost I needed on Saturday, and thanks to Dale, I was able to stop thinking about the soul-crushing reality of 2020 for a whole 30 minutes! But almost immediately, I was craving more. I knew there had to be more photos out there. You don’t just book a lucrative Halloween costume modeling gig and then never work again! Just like Hannah Ann, Dale has the perfect hot-yet-approachable look for a commercial modeling career, and lo and behold, it didn’t take long before another A+ set of photos fell into my lap.

On Monday, Betchelor follower Kait White-Ross came across Clare’s favorite guy on the HSN site, showing off some cool NFL gear. There’s both a zip-up hoodie and a T-shirt version, and look, it’s a customer pick! Even the HSN Karens shopping for their husbands can’t resist Dale’s smolder. If you’re interested in the hoodie, it’s currently on sale, so can save money and feel some kind of vague connection to Dale Moss. A win-win!

But before you go making assumptions that Dale is a fan of the Cincinnati Bengals (ew), it’s important to know that Dale modeled HSN’s NFL gear not just for the Bengals, but for 23 different NFL teams. Get! Those! Checks! Now, as someone who doesn’t have a lot of modeling experience, taking photos in that many different hoodies sounds like a lot of work, but don’t worry—Dale didn’t actually have to do that. Instead, HSN just photoshopped all the different hoodies onto the exact same pic of Dale. I present to you, my new phone background:

This is like the Bachelor version of those Andy Warhol paintings where he made Marilyn Monroe a bunch of different colors. What can I say, I love art.

UPDATE: I suspected there was more of Dale’s work out there, and it didn’t take long. Thanks to a tip from @pillerette on Instagram, we found Clare’s handsome prince modeling Dagne Dover’s Wade Diaper Tote and Indi Diaper Backpack. Basically, the man looks very good carrying a diaper bag, which will prove to Clare that he’s ready to be an on-the-go dad. These are actually modeling videos—prime content!—so they specify that Dale is 6’3″. Clare probably saw this when her contestants were first announce and was excited based on his height alone, and can you blame her?

I still have a feeling there are more of Dale’s modeling photos lurking out there on the internet, so if you find anything, please don’t hesitate to send it my way. This man has a face for middle America, so what family-friendly brand wouldn’t want to work with him? He may not have done anything as iconic as Hannah Ann’s Sonic ad, but we can’t all be legends like that.

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Images: ABC/Craig Sjodin; thebetchelor / Instagram; Party City; HSN

6 Halloween Costume Ideas That Don’t Require A Lot Of Effort

I live and die for Halloween. I recently told a few friends that I couldn’t make dinner plans Halloween weekend because, although I currently don’t have plans, if we’re not doing something that requires a costume, I am not going. And while I’ve had my costume planned for the last six months and I’m dying my hair blue for real just for the costume, I understand that not everyone loves Halloween as much as I do. Or like, even if they do, they might have actual real lives and things to do aside from planning one outfit half a year in advance (what’s that like?). But if you have a ton of other things to focus on, or just DGAF about buying an elaborate costume for Halloween, there are still options for you to look amazing that don’t require a ton of work. I found some cute options that are cheap, easy to throw together, and look like you actually care about the greatest day of the year.

1. Scarecrow

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🌟 S C T A K E O V E R 🌟 So I made lil tutorial on @__worldofbeauty__ Snapchat! If youre interested of seeing how you can do this easy last minute Halloween-look go ahead and add 👻 WOBtakeover on Snapchat! And me too !👻Bangtsikitsiki #udmhalloween

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I’ve seen this costume around for several years now and I think it’s such a cute idea. All you have to do is throw on a flannel and some overalls you probably already own, or even just mom jeans if overalls aren’t your thing. Get a cute straw hat or use your beach hat from the summer. Then the rest is just makeup. Load up on eyeliner, draw in a mouth, get some cheap drugstore black lipstick, and draw in an orange nose and cheeks. It’s so simple and really requires zero artistic ability, but looks really put-together.

2. A Mouse, Duh

Because the hardcore girls just wear lingerie and some sort of animal ears, you can throw together an easy costume that everyone will get with this hilarious “I’m a mouse, duh” shirt. Also, huge oversize shirts are so trendy right now that you’ll definitely be able to wear this post-Halloween too. Get some cute mouse years from Amazon or just make your own, pair with chic over the knee boots, and if you really want to sell it, you can draw on a little nose and whiskers. This costume is so comfortable you can literally just wear it straight to bed when you come home hammered.

I'm a mouse duh

3. Wednesday Addams

LargeImages

Wednesday Addams is an absolute classic and an easy costume for anyone. I’ve been Wednesday myself several times as an additional backup costume. This dress is super cute from Hot Topic and you’ll definitely be able to rewear it afterwards. To sell the Wednesday look, braid your hair in pigtails, do some dark makeup, and look morose. Costume finished!

4. Eleven

LargeImages

I am obsessed with Stranger Things and Eleven’s new 80s look is perfect for a quick costume. I also definitely bought this shirt from Hot Topic just to wear in real life. Costume pieces you can actually rewear are the best. Not only is this outfit really easy to throw together, but to make sure you look like Eleven, put your hair half up with a scrunchie, draw in a nosebleed with lipstick, and carry around a box of Eggos. Not only will everyone get it, but it’s way cooler than the pink-dress version of Eleven that has been way overdone for the past few years. It also has the makings for a great group costume.

5. Where’s Waldo?

Do you have a red and white striped shirt? What about glasses? Then you can throw together a super easy Where’s Waldo costume. If you want to be an overachiever, get a matching beanie. You can even buy this cheap set from Amazon if you want to be extra about it. The nice thing about being Waldo for Halloween is it’s so recognizable and doesn’t require a bunch of makeup or styling. You can throw it on and be good to go. Plus, then you can photobomb random people’s pictures all night and be hilarious. I mean, that’s what I would do.

6. Dead

This is my favorite of the bunch. Just be dead. Literally dead. Not only do you get to wear a super comfy sweatshirt, but it’s so funny. I would pair it with a skirt and boots, and if you want to really go for it, do some ghostly dead girl makeup, too, complete with dark lipstick. Or you could just be like me and never, ever sleep. Then you’ll already have the dark circles and sunken-in look! Don’t forget the cold, dead look in your eyes that only comes from true exhaustion! Perfect!

Please post pics of your favorite last minute costumes in the comments!

Images: Hot Topic (2); Shop Betches (2); bangtsikitsiki / Instagram; Giphy (3)
Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link and purchase a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.

The Worst Celebrity Halloween Costumes Of 2018

When it comes to Halloween costumes, celebrities should really have it easy. All they have to do is choose something fun and non-problematic, pay someone else to make it for them, and go to whatever lame party the Getty Images photographers are at. Unfortunately, there are always some celebs who mess up what should be easy. Some of these costumes are way too over-the-top, while others are just sad, wasted opportunities. While we already dealt with all of the Kardashian costumes this year, here are some other celebrities who could’ve done better this Halloween. Behold, our ranking of the worst celebrity Halloween costumes of 2018.

Heidi Klum

Heidi Klum hosts one of the biggest Halloween parties in Hollywood, and she always goes all out with her costume. In recent years, she’s gotten into prosthetics, and it’s officially gone too far. Sure, her Princess Fiona costume is impressive, but I’m getting physically upset looking at it. With her boyfriend as a matching Shrek, it’s really more than I can handle. Someone please tell Heidi to relax next year, it’s just Halloween.

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????????

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Luann de Lesseps

According to Luann’s Instagram caption, she asked her stylist for an “outfit that says nurse, pop-star, and countess.” I’m not sure why that was her desired look, but I’m just getting a slutty race car driver vibe here? Luann looks fantastic and healthy (thank god), but this outfit is just so confusing. Money can’t buy you class, but it can definitely buy you a coherent Halloween look.

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Me to stylist: “I need and outfit that says nurse, pop-star and countess!” #aboutlastnight #halloween

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Frankie Grande

While I am a huge fan of Ariana Grande, her brother Frankie is more than I can handle. His troll costume is the exact brand of extra we’ve come to expect from him, and I need a f*cking nap. I really hope that paint takes two weeks to come off just as punishment for this costume.

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guy ????… #trolls #halloweencostume #halloweenmakeup #happyhalloween

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Nina Dobrev

Oh, Nina Dobrev. I’m not sure exactly what she’s been up to since The Vampire Diaries ended, but this costume has me concerned. Her take on A Star Is Born is at least a little more creative than a half-assed Lady Gaga attempt, but the execution could definitely be better. The weird cage around her waist is really taking me out of it, and I just can’t look at an adult with a pacifier in their mouth. Sorry, no.

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#StarIsBorn ???????????? #BradleyCooper @ladygaga

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Joey Fatone

I never thought I’d say the name “Joey Fatone” in 2018, but here we are. The third most famous member of NSYNC is really trying to give me nightmares with his The Shining-inspired costume, and this will probably keep me up tonight. Also, the horrific wig aside, why does Joey look like he hasn’t slept in six years? If anyone has any miracle dark circle remedies they’d like to recommend, feel free to slide into Joey’s DMs.

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There are few people in the world you wanna punch in the face cause they are awesome … George Clooney is that guy cause he is the nicest , coolest guy I have met in a long time ! #georgeclooney #damnhim

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Ronnie Ortiz-Magro & Jen Harley

Okay I thought these two had, like, restraining orders against each other? I won’t pretend to know what’s going on in the world of Ronnie and his baby mama drama, but this is definitely a weak-ass Joker costume. The Harley Quinn (lol because her last name is Harley) is a bit better, but no one is winning any costume contests here. I’d love to know what they dressed their baby as for Halloween, because I bet it’s something sad and outdated.

@heidiklum / Instagram; @countessluann / Instagram; @frankiejgrande / Instagram; @nina / Instagram; @realjoeyfatone / Instagram; @tt_kittymeow / Instagram

5 Halloween Costumes You Cannot Be Caught Dead Wearing

Halloween might seem like a juvenile celebration for children to gorge themselves on sugar and for adults to explore their creative side, but, like most loose holidays, it’s also a reflection of American society. Some people use a costume or a mask to expose how sh*tty of a person they are. But in 2018, we should not still be doing this. It shouldn’t be that hard to dress up as something inoffensive. And before you go all “wah wah PC culture is destroying America and freedom of speech,” one, look up how the First Amendment works. Two, you can still be funny without being a dick. And I’m going to go over, for the people in back, some Halloween costumes to avoid.

Hopefully, everyone at this point knows that dressing up as different ethnicities/cultural groups is not okay, which is why I won’t be including that type of stuff on this list of Halloween costumes to avoid. So aside from the blatantly racist stuff, here are some other Halloween costumes to avoid this year.

Sexy Handmaid’s Tale

Sooo, this Yandy costume was thankfully pulled off shelves after public outcry, but what the actual f*ck? The Handmaid’s Tale is about a tragic dystopian society which accurately shows where we’re heading in the US where women are stamped down and abused, and yet they make it sexy for Halloween? Whatever you do, don’t be this person.

 

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Thanks to @sin_lizard for reminding me we’re fuct as a species. #sexyhandmaid

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Instagram Influencer

To be fair, the only offensive thing about this costume is how much it’s selling for, but it still falls under the umbrella of Halloween costumes to avoid. Urban Outfitters wants you to spend $59 on a crop top and leggings (jacket not even included!) to look like a sad Kim K knock-off and is selling it as an “influencer” costume. It’s not a costume, it’s embarrassing, and do not fund this kind of sh*t.

Slide View: 1: Influencer Halloween Costume Set

Urban Outfitters Influencer Halloween Costume Set

Holocaust Survivor

Guys. I just. Like. Why must I tell you that dressing up as Anne Frank or any kind of Holocaust survivor is totally f*cked up?? Hi, I’m a Jew. Well, half a Jew, but it’s on my mom’s side, so I’m a full Jew in the eyes of the people who matter. Anyway. Nazis are not cute. The Holocaust is not cute. If you want clarity, talk to my entire family in Austria. Oh wait, you can’t, because the ones that didn’t make it to America died in the Holocaust. It’s a horrific tragedy that we’re scarily close to recreating and it’s not a costume. Anne Frank is not a cute literary character. Don’t do it.

Child's 1940s Girl Historical Costume

Candy Apple Costumes Child’s 1940s Girl Historical Costume

Refugee

On that note, being a sexy refugee is also SO NOT OKAY. Not a Syrian refugee, not a US border-crossing refugee, all of it is a hard no and you’re an insensitive jackass. This also includes any costumes that have to do with immigration issues.

Mexico Will Pay Zip up Costume Jumpsuit (Adult S/M)

Costume Agent Mexico Will Pay Jumpsuit

Rapist

Bill Cosby, Jared from Subway, etc. is not an appropriate costume. It’s weird that we’re in a place where I have to tell you that rape—and therefore rapists—are not funny, but they are not funny, you sick f*cks. It’s not a costume, it’s a tragic reality for many, many people so let’s forget about them when we try to enjoy our Halloween festivities.

 

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Our generation is so desensitized

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Images: carlinlovesbilly, nickiminaj / Instagram; Amazon; Candy Apple Costumes; Urban Outfitters

What Your Group Halloween Costume Says About Your Friends

In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year where a girl can put literally no effort into a costume, but it still looks half decent if she can rope at least two of her friends to do a group Halloween costume.

It’s called the Cheerleader Effect, actually, and you may already be familiar with it. Well, technically, according to Wikipedia, it’s called the Group Attractiveness Effect, but whatever. It’s basically the cognitive bias that causes people to perceive a group to be hotter than individuals are. While this whole thing kind of sounds like bullsh*t to me, I will agree that it’s totally legit on Halloween. A costume that sucks for an individual might look like an actual costume if it’s a group costume. (“Say costume again.” “Costume.”) For example, wearing mouse ears and sunglasses and calling yourself a “blind mouse” is f*cking stupid. However, conning two of your non-creative friends to wear the same thing and calling yourselves “Three Blind Mice” is a legitimate Halloween move.

Now that I’ve explained the science behind terrible group Halloween costumes, here’s a guide to what your group Halloween costume says about your friend group. (Other than the obvious fact that at least one of you has access to Pinterest.)

Literally Any Kind Of Alcohol

I mean, this one’s obvious. If you attended college, or even just followed girls who have attended college on Instagram, you’ve seen a million variations of DIY alcohol-inspired costumes. Whether it’s girls trying to create a skirt out of a Bud Light case or the slightly (like, very slightly) more resourceful Franiza box or bag, these costumes all say the same thing: you want everyone to know how much you booze. Girl groups who dress as alcohol for Halloween may not be the heaviest drinkers out there, but they’re definitely the ones who talk about drinking the most. They still drunk tweet in 2018. They have a finstagram past the age of 25. Although they’re always joking about how they’re eternally single, they always seem to be at a bachelorette party. “Party girls don’t get hurt” is their go-to Instagram caption or bio. You get the idea.

 

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Dynamic duo.

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Sexy Disney Princesses

If you and your friends dress up as sexy Disney Princesses, you are the worst kind of people. I’m kidding. I’m not. I’m kidding. (I feel like I have to say that I am kidding, but I will let you, dear reader, decide for yourself.)

Anyway, Halloween costumes that consist of a glittery corset and a tutu are one kind of terrible, but making it Disney branded really brings it to another level. This group Halloween costume definitely had a moment in like, 2012, when we all discovered Pinterest and girls who were popular on Facebook and had really long, straight blond platinum hair and a closet full of VS Pink. Sexy Disney characters basically say “Here is a thing I really loved as a child, and coincidentally, here are my boobs.” It’s just… weird?  

Mean Girls, Spice Girls, Or Any Other Go-To Girl Group

I’m never one to shoot down a Mean Girls reference. I mean, unless someone calls something fetch. Like, have you even seen the movie? I digress. But the problem with Mean Girls as a group Halloween costume is that it can look stale fast. If you realized that you and your two best friends have the perfect hair colors (Two blondes and a brunette? Congrats) to dress up as the Plastics and then wear some pink clothing, *Randy Jackson voice* it’s a no from me, dawg. If you go all the f*ck out as Janis Ian or Caroline Kraft, then yes, that’s amazing. Personally, I once accidentally dyed my hair black once, so I went as Cady’s “axe wife” costume. But like, I committed. I worse those nasty fake teeth ALL NIGHT. I guess the point of this rant is: a tank top with two tit holes does not a Regina George make!

The same goes for the Spice Girls, although this costume is significantly more difficult to pull off because it requires you to have a redheaded friend, which are just harder to find statistically. Clueless is another one that’s making the ranks in cliche group costumes, given the fact that every fast fashion store is selling plaid pleated skirts right now. 

Boxers

Sports bra. Spandex shorts. Braids. Silk robe that makes everyone question whether you’re actually trying to be a Victoria’s Secret Angel. These are the markings of someone who has completed the Kayla Itsines Bikini Body Guide at least once. Of course, there’s no shade behind that statement; I can’t wait until I can finally make it past week one so that I, too, can someday be a boxer or some other ambiguous athlete costume for Halloween.

A Costume Where You Just Write Stuff On Shirts

These costumes tend to vary by year, but the most quintessential of them all is definitely “Netflix and Chill.” Obviously, there are different levels of offenders here. Some just straight-up write “Netflix” on a T-shirt in Sharpie, some print out the logo and tape it on the front. Either way, it’s a stupid costume, and you can and should do better. Like, have some decency and throw on some cat ears or something. 

If you’re really going to be lazy, at least be cute. There’s a whole collection of just shirts that say stuff on them that you can wear on Halloween on Shop Betches. You’re welcome.

Shop Betches Don’t Ask Me What My Costume Is Oversized T-Shirt Dress

Images: totalsororitymove / Instagram; Giphy (3)

What You Should Be For Halloween Based On How Much You GAF

It’s finally October, which means it’s basically Halloween already. You know Whole Foods has been selling pumpkin spice cold brew and Rs bars since August anyway. Halloween means many wonderful things. As a kid, it meant dressing in elaborate costumes and gorging myself on as on as much candy corn as humanly possible, then knocking on different apartment doors to “trick or treat” because New York was lame. When I was in middle school I used to sew myself costumes styled after my favorite historical characters, like Lady Jane Grey being led off to her execution (check out the painting I styled it after for your edification), because I was weird af. Now, though, I don’t really care enough to buy myself a costume, let alone go effing sew something. I still dig the candy, though.

Anyway, by the time Halloween rolls around, I’m usually panicking because I have no freaking clue what I’m going to wear. And since Halloween usually means a whole weekend of parties aka at least three different costumes, that’s kind of a lot to make up on the spot. So, without further ado, here are some costume ideas with varying levels of effort so you don’t have to lose your sh*t 30 minutes before your party.

If You Do Everything As A Group & Need The Best Friend Insta…

For extra and highly put-together friend groups, order a costume and plan ahead. Duh. Do Clueless or Britney Spears in all her various outfits. Both are basic but classics for a reason, and that reason is that they look adorable in photos. Tbh, this is the category I always try to fall in, but lo and behold I did not plan, and suddenly I find myself in a flowery shorts and crop top set, trying to convince people that I am “Coachella.”

 

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#tbt Cause i wasn’t ready for my #Britneyween to be over ???????????? @britneyspears #britneyspears #celebritycostume #costumes #halloween #britneyarmy #britneybitch #forlife #britneyspearscostume #britneynation #britneypieceofme #itsabritneythingyouwouldntunderstand

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If you don’t want to necessarily order something but still dig the extra group vibe, you could be all the characters from Riverdale (preppy for Betty, that stupid hat thing for Jughead, red for Cheryl, etc…) or any other TV show where the characters essentially dress like normal people with a little extra flare because, like, it’s not that hard to come up with.

If You’re An Attention-Seeker Who Wants To Impress People

These take a little less planning but more effort because you to actually use your brain a little. If you want to seem intellectual but slutty, then find a sexy slip and tape little thoughts to it so you’re a Freudian slip.

If you feel like going a lil scary, cut up a white dress you don’t, like, actually care about and cover it with red paint and go as a murder victim. Tbh I tried to do this last year with red lipstick and it totally failed, so make sure to get actual paint.

Or, you could always pull a Regina George and just cut holes in your t-shirt and call it a day!

Regina George

If You Forgot To Order A Costume And Need Help ASAP

You didn’t think far enough ahead to order something but you don’t want to look lame either. Scrounge in your closet and get ~creative~.

If you miss the days when wearing a slutty kilt was part of your school uniform, see if you still have one (and if it still fits ripppp) and do Gossip Girl, Britney Spears in her slutty school girl video, or honestly just “slutty school girl” if you really can’t think of a good cultural phenomenon to justify why you’re wearing a high school kilt and a black bra.

 

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…Funny Retro 90s Britney Spears Hit Me Baby One More Time Costume… #Halloween #halloweencostumeideas #halloweencostume #halloweenmakeup #diyhalloweencostume #diyhalloween #lastminutecostume #britneyspears #britneyspearscostume #britneyspearsfan #sexyhalloweencostumes #womenhalloweencostume

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Other basic but tried-and-true options for the desperate are: wear pink to be Regina George from Mean Girls and/or Elle from Legally Blond; find a little black dress and some costume jewelry to be Audrey; or wear 90s clothes and be someone from Friends.

If You Literally Hate Halloween

You really don’t care. You just don’t want to get yelled at for not following the “wear a costume!!!” theme. Try ordering one of the Shop Betches T-shirt dresses if you want to give everyone at the party a giant middle finger.

I'm A Mouse Duh

Shop Betches I’m A Mouse Duh Oversized T-Shirt Dress

Or, if you can’t get your shit together enough to order a freaking T-shirt, then so what I did last year: wear a black leather skirt, a black sports bra, and lots of glitter.  Tell people you’re either a rocker or the galaxy depending on your mood. No one will be able to guess your costume, so it’s a conversation starter at the very least.

But for the love of God, do come up with something. People that turn up to parties wearing a jeans and a crop top because they’re a “college student” (maybe this is funny if you’re not in college still, IDK) are actually so lame and everyone hates you. So don’t be that person.

Oh, and the only thing worse than a sucky costume is an offensive one. Please don’t be that person. Seriously.

K bye. Got to go find my own high school kilt for a party tonight. It’s never too early to start drinking  ~celebrating~ yet another pointless holiday that allows girls to dress like sluts, companies to rake in money by selling cheap polyester and alarmingly colored foods, and people to drink themselves half to death. Happy Halloween!!!

Imags: lizfanopoulos, coolhalloweencostumes / Instagram; Giphy (1); Shop Betches (1)

Shop Betches Halloween Costumes Are Here And They’ve Never Been Better

So as of today, Halloween is officially 40 days, or a little over a month, away. This may sound far, but honestly, at the rate time goes by, it basically means it’s around the corner and the countdown is on. I’m not saying you should panic (yet), but you should probably start making moves for Halloweekend plans. Obviously, the most important thing you’ll def procrastinate even thinking about is WTF your costume will be. Despite being a grown twentysomething adult, you can’t like, not wear a costume. Society will forgive you as much as they forgive Angelina for leaving Jersey Shore eight years ago. Don’t worry, though. You don’t have to go hard and wear a scary mask, bro. We got you. Not only are we bringing back our best-selling I’m A Mouse Duh and Boo You Whore Halloween costumes, but we’re also introducing brand-spankin’ new costumes for you, your bestie, and yes, your boy toy, too. Check out the newest Shop Betches Halloween costumes below.

I’m A Mouse Duh & Boo You Whore

If we’re being real, it’s 2018. So you can totally just wear an oversized T-shirt, a pair of animal ears, fishnets, heels, and call it a night with these v comfy and slutty sexy costumes. Why? All together now: Halloween is the one time of year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it. F*cking duh. If you’re still hesitating, these sold out like, immediately last year, so I’d literally buy yours rn if I were you.

I’m A Mouse Duh

Boo You Whore

Pete & Ariana / Justin & Hailey

I mean, we had to. These are not only hilarious and bound to make everyone at the bar nominate you for best costume, but if you and your boyfriend are having a hard time agreeing on a couple’s costume idea, he can probably be persuaded into wearing a cotton T-shirt. Throw your hair in a high ponytail—bam, you’re Ariana. Tie some hair back into a bun, put on tiny sunglasses, and all of a sudden, you’ve turned into Hailey Baldwin.

Pete and Ariana

Justin and Hailey

And More Amazing Options

And these are specially made for those of you who like to be incredibly practical, sarcastic AF, and well, as obvious as can be. So like, all of us. No longer will you be pegged with some drunk dude who’s like, “what are you supposed to be, huh?!” because you have it written all over your shirt. It’s a night to honor some of POTUS’s infamous quotes and to also have a little fun with little white lies. Emotionally stable? What is that?

Very Stable Genius

Don’t Ask Me What My Costume Is

Emotionally Stable

Images: Shop Betches